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  1. #1
    JUB Addict mikey3000's Avatar
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    Not really comfortable here any more

    The last little while, things have changed here. Most of the friendly guys I've chatted with have moved on and what's left aren't really LGBT inclusive at all. It seems most are bi-phobic and vagina haters. Treat everyone who isn't a 100% gay male like a second class citizen. I especially don't like the bashing of women and their genetalia. How can anyone justify that? It's ok because you're gay men?
    Being on here has really opened my eyes the the gay male world. And I don't think I want a part of it anymore. There was a time when I considered calling myself gay, but not anymore. I'll stick to the more inclusive bi community. Obviously expecting inclusivity is not a reality here anymore. Got it.
    Inspired - but too tired.

  2. #2
    BENDERBOY
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    Well i can't speak for everyone else, but i'll certainly miss you.

    I don't know how you had the time for JUB, with a sick mother and wife and two kids, plus the boyfriend to look after.

    I wish you all the best in the future, and thank you for all you've contributed to the site
    Last edited by BENDERBOY; January 18th, 2014 at 11:57 AM.

  3. #3
    Kien
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    Yeah, the bi bashing here has been prominent lately and I'm sorry you had to go through that.
    Last edited by Kien; January 18th, 2014 at 11:58 AM.

  4. #4

    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    Quote Originally Posted by mikey3000 View Post
    The last little while, things have changed here….
    There were some particularly dopey, bitchy comments directed at you yesterday in that Bi thread.

    It was distressing that your thoughts and words about people's subconscious behaviour were being so summarily dismissed by young bitches who didn't actually listen to what you were saying.

  5. #5

    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    Quote Originally Posted by Kien View Post
    Yeah, the bi bashing here has been increasing lately and I'm sorry you had to go through that.
    Where? I haven't really seen it.

    There are a lot of disrespectful comments towards females here though.

  6. #6
    Do I dare to eat a peach?
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    Quote Originally Posted by BENDERBOY View Post
    Well i can't speak for everyone else, but i'll certainly miss you.

    I don't know how you had the time for JUB, with a sick mother and wife and two kids, plus the boyfriend to look after.

    I wish you all the best in the future, and thank you for all you've contributed to the site


    My sentiments exactly!

  7. #7
    Are you man enough? unloadonme's Avatar
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    I don't think I've interacted much with you in the two years you've been here, but goodbye and good luck.
    Last edited by unloadonme; January 18th, 2014 at 12:08 PM.

  8. #8
    Dejavudoo
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    Remember this, Mikey. The loudest comments do not make them representative of the majority.

    Move away from the bi threads and frequent Seth's Last Post Wins and some of the other fun places. JUB can be what we limit it to be.

    I may see red when I read a post by a nemesis, but those are not the only threads I read. If one were to search through my post history, he would find that I'm fighting hammer and tong over some religious or shooting post, and in between posts, still quipping in humor threads, etc.

    Don't let a pet topic bind you to seeing only that side of JUB. There have been many old posters return lately who hadn't posted in some time.

    Giver 'er another go.


  9. #9
    CupidBoy
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    Best wishes.
    Last edited by CupidBoy; January 18th, 2014 at 12:17 PM.

  10. #10
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    Quote Originally Posted by pat grimshaw View Post
    There were some particularly dopey, bitchy comments directed at you yesterday in that Bi thread.

    It was distressing that your thoughts and words about people's subconscious behaviour were being so summarily dismissed by young bitches who didn't actually listen to what you were saying.
    The argument in the bi thread yesterday was not about either bisexuality or bi-bashing. It was an argument over an explanation Mikey gave for homosexuality that was either poorly worded or at least, very easily misunderstood.

    It sucks if he's going to leave over that but it's definitely not true whatsoever to imply the argument yesterday in that thread had anything to do with bashing bi people. It was an argument over what causes homosexuality.

  11. #11

    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    ^

    The thread started yesterday dealing with matters of the subconscious mind.

    And matters of the subconscious mind aren't easy to communicate— especially id you're confronted with people with short attention-spans, who make snap judgements and who like filling their brain with junk like cartoons and beyoncé.

  12. #12
    Do I dare to eat a peach?
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    WHAT "bi thread"

  13. #13
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    Quote Originally Posted by palbert View Post
    WHAT "bi thread"
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...=1#post9290329

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by pat grimshaw View Post
    ^

    The thread started yesterday dealing with matters of the subconscious mind.

    And matters of the subconscious mind aren't easy to communicate— especially id you're confronted with people with short attention-spans, who make snap judgements and who like filling their brain with junk like cartoons and beyoncé.
    Mock outrage elsewhere, please.

  14. #14
    Thankfully Liberal & Gay
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    mikey I sent you a PM.

    Haters and naysayers are ALWAYS the loudest "per capita". That may even be one of those rare rules that has NO EXCEPTIONS.

    I know that we didn't interact much (if at all), but your participation has always been respected and appreciated (by me). I see a link to the questioned thread has now been posted, so I'll take a look. This won't be the first time I've seen disparaging behaviour toward bisexual people here before (nor, for that matter, in other venues), but it's also something that I've never been able to "get" and I don't think that I ever will.

    I am guessing and hoping that your JUB experience has had many positive attributes as well, and that you can appreciate and build on those.
    BOSS: I'm sorry, but I'll have to lay you and Jack off.
    SUE: Can you just jack off? I feel like shit today.

    Things that come to those who wait, are often left over from whoever got there first. (source: pharmaceutical spam 2007)

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  15. #15
    Reunited
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    Mikey, we have spoken via the back-channel, several times, i can only echo dejas post. Please reconsider, i will miss your posts
    and the true genuine guy that you are.

    Seth, also added a great post, you are a lovely guy, please don't let the haters get to you. If need be, do what i done about a year ago
    and had some "time-out".
    You contribute more than you think to this site. Or do i have to jump on a plane, and give you a kick up the arse?.....

  16. #16

    Re: Not really comfortable here any more



    Has anyone noticed my Freudian slip back in post #11 ?

    I was mentioning Freud's notions of the subconscious mind and Freud saying that Weak or Absent fathers and Possessive Manipulative Mothers create sons with "arrested development" i.e. gay.

    I wrote 'id' rather than 'if'.



    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Id,_ego_and_super-ego

  17. #17
    ( ´・ _ ・) wha?
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    Quote Originally Posted by mikey3000 View Post
    Not really comfortable here any more
    Quick, JUB needs a couch Click image for larger version. 

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    ‹(´ω`)› Dissolve your inner chicken. Voices that say "ah, yes".

  18. #18
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    I haven't been here long enough to judge what exactly is going on, but I do know how you feel.

    In all my forum adventures, that just seems to be a recurring theme: Some months you'll get a wave of cool guys you wanna chat with, and some months you'll get a wave of trolls and nuts trying to control the asylum, it's back and forth. I have been to forums with overly-aggressive idiots making a sport out of bullying and victimizing anyone in their path and basically high-fiving their friends (and even mods) for their behavior. It really is sickening.

    So I don't blame you. Leave if you must, it's okay. Best of luck

  19. #19
    THE FLIRT JUB Moderator ronboy's Avatar
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    Mikey, I am so sorry to hear this.

    Like the people above have said, some of the non-inclusive people tend to be the loudest. I want you to know that I appreciate all of the contributions that you have made since joining.

    I was hoping to meet you when I come up to TO for World Pride with PeTe.


    The Three Musketeers... Bashful, Chrisglass, and Ronboy!

  20. #20
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    Life is more important. I wish you well, and hope you all the best with your family.


  21. #21
    JUB 10k Club
    PreTTy PeTe's Avatar
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    come on Mikey don't let the fuckers and haters take you down.

    and yes this year I think I have an entourage of people coming for World Pride so you better be one of them .




  22. #22
    JUB Addict
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    That's why I tend to just avoid the bi-threads these days.

    It's not a great feeling when you go somewhere where you're supposed to feel included and safe just to have people bash you because you're still a little bit different from them.

    Good luck, mikey. Hope the future holds good things for you.

  23. #23
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    Quote Originally Posted by mikey3000 View Post
    The last little while, things have changed here. Most of the friendly guys I've chatted with have moved on and what's left aren't really LGBT inclusive at all. It seems most are bi-phobic and vagina haters. Treat everyone who isn't a 100% gay male like a second class citizen. I especially don't like the bashing of women and their genetalia. How can anyone justify that? It's ok because you're gay men?
    Being on here has really opened my eyes the the gay male world. And I don't think I want a part of it anymore. There was a time when I considered calling myself gay, but not anymore. I'll stick to the more inclusive bi community. Obviously expecting inclusivity is not a reality here anymore. Got it.
    If you could name names, we could punish them.
    Otherwise we don't know who you are talking about.


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  24. #24
    veni, vidi, reliqui
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    I would just point out that you've had a lot of support from people here in the past and a lot of the same people are still around.

    It is possible for friends to have disagreements you know. No one ever said that Hot Topics was a safe space.

    So man up and tough it out. Find the things that bind us all together instead of the things that drive us apart.

    And if you finally decide that the time has come to go...well, I hope that you work out all the complicated stuff with your wife and your boyfreind and get on with having a happy and fulfilled life.

  25. #25
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    Now, come on Telly, we all know who the main Bi-bashing member is.

  26. #26
    JUB Addict vulgar_newcomer's Avatar
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    Quote Originally Posted by mikey3000 View Post
    The last little while, things have changed here. Most of the friendly guys I've chatted with have moved on and what's left aren't really LGBT inclusive at all. It seems most are bi-phobic and vagina haters. Treat everyone who isn't a 100% gay male like a second class citizen. I especially don't like the bashing of women and their genetalia. How can anyone justify that? It's ok because you're gay men?
    Being on here has really opened my eyes the the gay male world. And I don't think I want a part of it anymore. There was a time when I considered calling myself gay, but not anymore. I'll stick to the more inclusive bi community. Obviously expecting inclusivity is not a reality here anymore. Got it.
    I love woman, I just don't love Lady GA~GA and club music that much.

    I'm a smoker and a fucking drunk and sometimes I do both while eating pussy and fucking some hairy bung hole watching the balls flip around from the rear view.

    From what I read you haven't a problem compared to the hate laid on the smokers, drunks and the poor unfortunate gay/bi people who are stressed with HIV disease (they take 99%) of the hate on JUB. I realize anyone can get HIV regardless of sexual orientation but shit read the post in this gay forum the damn guys with HIV are talked about severely in the way of man, most would think they will never have a date or sex again. Its scandalous.
    Last edited by vulgar_newcomer; January 18th, 2014 at 03:24 PM.

  27. #27
    veni, vidi, reliqui
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    @ Medic

    ^ I can guarantee you that Jasun at one time could have given anyone a run for the money over bisexuality. But even he mellowed on the topic over a few years here.

    This is how I see it. I am not bisexual, so I can't comment on what or what is not the primary or secondary motivation for bisexuality is or is not. I know that I've witnessed several bi-sexual friends enter into relationships with women while still fucking men and I've seen bi-sexaul men break the hearts of both the women and the men in their relationships as they went back and forth between one and the other. Whatever. Human sexuality and emotional make-up is complicated and inexplicable on the best of days.

    Be what you are. Live as you are meant to. Do no harm. And if you do, then try to make the hurt better.

    My only rule. Be honest and do not hurt your children. And as far as the Op goes...this seems to be the case.

    I think that as long as anyone agrees to be 100% responsible for the emotional and sexual choices that they make...then go at it.

  28. #28

    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    Quote Originally Posted by mikey3000 View Post
    The last little while, things have changed here. Most of the friendly guys I've chatted with have moved on and what's left aren't really LGBT inclusive at all. It seems most are bi-phobic and vagina haters. Treat everyone who isn't a 100% gay male like a second class citizen. I especially don't like the bashing of women and their genetalia. How can anyone justify that? It's ok because you're gay men?
    Being on here has really opened my eyes the the gay male world. And I don't think I want a part of it anymore. There was a time when I considered calling myself gay, but not anymore. I'll stick to the more inclusive bi community. Obviously expecting inclusivity is not a reality here anymore. Got it.
    Well, I have to disagree with you on this. In my principal: you can't rely yourself 100% to the people out there because everyone is disappointing. WHat you can do is to create your own environment, YES..you have power to do that. I dont meant to sound cliche but if I rely on people.. I might already killed myself right now.

  29. #29
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    dont let ol' rainbowdick scare you away.
    tons of bi guys on here.

  30. #30
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    Quote Originally Posted by medic1 View Post
    Now, come on Telly, we all know who the main Bi-bashing member is.
    I don't. I don't know who.


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  31. #31
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    Telly mate, have a look at #29.

  32. #32
    The gay gargoyle
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    So long.

    Lex

  33. #33
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    Quote Originally Posted by rareboy View Post
    @ Medic

    ^ I can guarantee you that Jasun at one time could have given anyone a run for the money over bisexuality. But even he mellowed on the topic over a few years here.

    This is how I see it. I am not bisexual, so I can't comment on what or what is not the primary or secondary motivation for bisexuality is or is not. I know that I've witnessed several bi-sexual friends enter into relationships with women while still fucking men and I've seen bi-sexual men break the hearts of both the women and the men in their relationships as they went back and forth between one and the other. Whatever. Human sexuality and emotional make-up is complicated and inexplicable on the best of days.

    Be what you are. Live as you are meant to. Do no harm. And if you do, then try to make the hurt better.

    My only rule. Be honest and do not hurt your children. And as far as the Op goes...this seems to be the case.

    I think that as long as anyone agrees to be 100% responsible for the emotional and sexual choices that they make...then go at it.
    I agree totally, that was my main fear, when i started a relationship, with not only a great friend of many years standing, but also because he is bisexual.
    My only other relationship was with another gay man, like you i too have witnessed the breaking of friends hearts, and that was what scared me the most.

    Being open and honest with each other, was really the only logical step to take, if we had any hope of being partners.

  34. #34
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    JUB has never been inclusive.
    Everyone wants to be heard. No one wants to listen.

  35. #35

    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    Quote Originally Posted by mikey3000 View Post
    The last little while, things have changed here. Most of the friendly guys I've chatted with have moved on and what's left aren't really LGBT inclusive at all. It seems most are bi-phobic and vagina haters. Treat everyone who isn't a 100% gay male like a second class citizen. I especially don't like the bashing of women and their genetalia. How can anyone justify that? It's ok because you're gay men?
    Being on here has really opened my eyes the the gay male world. And I don't think I want a part of it anymore. There was a time when I considered calling myself gay, but not anymore. I'll stick to the more inclusive bi community. Obviously expecting inclusivity is not a reality here anymore. Got it.

    Well, I'm sorry you feel that way.

    Bye-eee.

  36. #36
    JUB Addict Gentleheart's Avatar
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    I enjoy having you here, mikey. Sleep on it...or just log out for a while to cool off. You're valued here.

    Besides, we all have those 'moments' where we feel attacked and unwelcome. I've been there. Just know that you still have many friends here who want you around.
    I like to watch...

  37. #37

    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    Quote Originally Posted by Gentleheart View Post
    I enjoy having you here, mikey. Sleep on it...or just log out for a while to cool off. You're valued here.

    Besides, we all have those 'moments' where we feel attacked and unwelcome. I've been there. Just know that you still have many friends here who want you around.
    Seconded.

    At one point JUB made me incredibly angry and frustrated. When a web forum can do that to you maybe it's time to take a break.

  38. #38
    Cold November Rain Alnitak's Avatar
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    No reason to bash bisexuals, probably the majority of people, or even straights.

  39. #39

    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    Quote Originally Posted by LuckysRevenge View Post
    Seconded.

    At one point JUB made me incredibly angry and frustrated. When a web forum can do that to you maybe it's time to take a break.
    But there are so many people here who are inclusive and supportive or don't give one way or the other, so I can't help but see these 'bi persecution' bids as being a little bit overblown. Sorry.

    Am I being insensitive?

  40. #40
    Young at Heart ravenstar's Avatar
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    To be fair Mikey, you've had one thread where people disagreed with your assertion that men are gay or bisexual because they A - lacked a male role model & B - people chose to be gay/bisexual, both of which absolutely negate the life experiences of many people on this forum.

    To leave over that is pretty stupid. Trust me, I've left for more stupid reasons in the past. But your account on hold for a month, go outside, do things other than JUB related.

    There will always be arguments on here. There will never be 100% of people agreeing with 100% of what you say.

  41. #41
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    Quote Originally Posted by ravenstar View Post
    To be fair Mikey, you've had one thread where people disagreed with your assertion that men are gay or bisexual because they A - lacked a male role model & B - people chose to be gay/bisexual, both of which absolutely negate the life experiences of many people on this forum.

    To leave over that is pretty stupid. Trust me, I've left for more stupid reasons in the past. But your account on hold for a month, go outside, do things other than JUB related.

    There will always be arguments on here. There will never be 100% of people agreeing with 100% of what you say.
    How can you give these "advice" if you didn't know him and did he ask for advice ?


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  42. #42
    4h30 MakeDigitalLove's Avatar
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    Quote Originally Posted by mikey3000 View Post
    There was a time when I considered calling myself gay, but not anymore. I'll stick to the more inclusive bi community.Obviously expecting inclusivity is not a reality here anymore. Got it.
    I am sure in the Bi community there won't be any bashing of anyone and it is all filled with flowers and unicorns. Have fun.

  43. #43
    Young at Heart ravenstar's Avatar
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    Quote Originally Posted by Telstra View Post
    How can you give these "advice" if you didn't know him and did he ask for advice ?
    I can give advice, just like you can continually post absolute nonsense. Because I can.

  44. #44
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    Quote Originally Posted by ravenstar View Post
    I can give advice, just like you can continually post absolute nonsense. Because I can.
    mmmm feisty


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  45. #45

    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    I imagine that the majority of people here have needed to take a break from this site at some point during their memberships


    sometimes, for me, it's good to take a break from spending so much time here

  46. #46
    CupidBoy
    Guest

    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    With all these responses one would think we are losing someone special.

    That's unfortunate.

  47. #47
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    Quote Originally Posted by Telstra View Post
    mmmm feisty
    This post made me picture Telstra aroused. I need a sick bag.

  48. #48
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    Quote Originally Posted by xbuzzerx View Post
    This post made me picture Telstra aroused. I need a sick bag.
    What made you think i'm aroused ?


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  49. #49
    Lions&Tigers&Bears Oh My!
    eastofeden's Avatar
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    Mikey...I say this all the time because I lived it and know it is true from the core of my being...............NEVER LET ANYONE ELSE DEFINE YOU!

    It is sooooooooooooo important to learn that.....

  50. #50
    Come again? dereperez's Avatar
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    Re: Not really comfortable here any more

    There will always be trolls and "haters" on internet forums, Mikey. After all, aren't discussions based on dissenting view points? Granted, there does seem to more bi-hate lately, but it appears to be the flavor of the week. Even though there is one particular poster that slightly annoys me with his negative behavior, I don't let anyone get under my skin. Be proud of who you are and what you stand for...no one else can and should be able to change you.

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