I was a Buddhist (errr...not really) and hetero (not quite the truth) and now,
I am an agnostic and a gay (or maybe bi, I don't know)
Buddhism says absolutely nothing about homosexuality (apart from we should overcome sexual desire and become monks). I keep thinkin what Buddha will think of LGBT. Maybe I should talk to a monk but... People here think homosexuality is a myth and Gays are like Vampire or werewolf. Telling them you're gay is not much different from telling them you're a vampire.
They'll either say 'you're kidding, right?' for like ten times and freak out (or just freak out).
I thought of consulting a school counsellor but I live in a semi-Muslim country. All I'll get is brainwash.
I screamed , yelled and prayed(sort of but not in a buddhism way) for countless nights. wondering why are there gays? why are there bisexuals? why? I searched the internet and there's 2 theories (that everyone already know) from scientists
1) Genetic problem
2) Mental disorder
you know what? there's no scientific proofs for either yet. All the 'proofs' are under inconclusive debates. So, I get no answers from God(s) and Scientists (the two whom we seek answers for every questions) and I can't tell anyone (I tried twice but both ended up badly)
so all I have is myself (and online friends who comfort me and hold me in one piece but can't provide the answer)
after thinking for a long long time, I came up with a theory (which a lot of you already thought of ,apparently)
In this world, there're always exceptions. like Every mammals give birth but platypus lay eggs; matters contract when temperature is lowered but water increases in size under 4'c.
so maybe LGBT are the exceptions, the ones that are different. But then why would there have to be exceptions? why do we need gays? Is our existence necessary? What's our niche in human societies? or we're simply a consequence of some nature evolution or something.
Maybe our existence balance this world of hetero? that's what I believe for now.
then why THE HELL, am I among the minority that is chosen(or whatever) to be different to be the ones that keep the scale in balance? and worst of all, why make me a CHINESE!
I'm like a captain steering a boat between two tides each forcing me to follow their course. the cultural conflicts within me is killing me.
*I just want to express my thoughts. say anything you want~
[sorry if I post in the wrong section.]