Can anyone relate to this? Sometimes I think people (both men and women) are being too picky; they set unrealistic standards and have deal breakers that shouldn't be deal breakers for potential dates. There's a lot of great guys out there being overlooked.
It's important to be with someone you want to actually be with also important is not to set up self sabotaging barriers for a fulfilling relationship. I recently called myself out on this since I noticed I was compiling a laundry list of things “Mr Right” should be, what he should look like, etc...
I noticed this ideal guy was based off of attributes from my former BF, he's very well educated, has a great stable job (despite the economy being in the dumps) and has physical characteristics based off of unrealistic marketing images of models, porn stars and guys I had crushes on back in college and HS... Essentially '”my type'” of guy for an ideal relationship is a very small segment of the single gay population in NYC; maybe a bit more if you include bi's but still a tiny percentage of guys and nearly impossible to find or even hiding in the closet. I think a lot of guys are also looking for Mr Impossible to find also which leads to them turning away good matches for them (some of the answers to questions on OKCupid are quite revealing about how ridiculous standards can get.
But if you do find him will he even want to be with you? Or even be interested in you? Getting a general idea of the available gay guys for potential dates at dating sites, very few of them hit every bullet point on my list which is to be expected since no one's perfect anyway.
Also, making things difficult is I see a lot of guys doing this, mostly with physical appearances. It seems almost everyone is going after or seeking a guy who looks like an A&F model who makes 6 figures a year- and they need to be a porn star in bed. Something's gotta give otherwise you're setting yourself up for disappointment before you even start dating or you'll sabotage the relationship when you realize he's not perfect. I'm starting to see now why a lot of guys are single and frustrated since they can't find anyone who matches their ideals for Mr Right.