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  1. #1
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    Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    Can't get enough Liberals to do what you say is religiously correct? According to their rules BTW. Well, you go out and rewrite the Bible. That will take care of it. No problem here.

    http://www.alternet.org/belief/right...ter939436&t=13

    AlterNet / By Richard Schiffman

    Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough
    The King James Bible and more recent translations are veritable primers of progressive agitprop, according to the founder of Conservapedia.

    December 20, 2013 |

    Liberal bias in the media pales in comparison to what you’ll find in your standard-issue Bibles, according to Conservapedia.com, a kind of Wikipedia for the religious right. The King James Bible, not to mention more recent translations like the New International Version (NIV), are veritable primers of progressive agitprop, complains Andy Schlafly, the founder of Conservapedia.com. (His mother, Phyllis, is an activist best known for her opposition to feminism and the Equal Rights Amendment.)
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  2. #2
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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    If you believe some conservative interpretations of Revelations then they are reserving onto themselves, a place in hell to suffer all the plagues ever mentioned in the Bible.
    Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule - and both commonly succeed, and are right. H. L. Mencken US editor (1880 - 1956)

  3. #3
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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    They're going after the KJV? I wonder what translation they endorse.
    "If you don't have anything nice to say... come sit next to me."
    -- Alice Roosevelt Longworth

  4. #4

    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    I'll start:

    1st Newt 2:14 = And Jesus sayeth unto the masses, "Blessed are the rich, for they deserve the Kingdom of God."

    2nd George W 3:34 = "God smote those who would humiliate their Father, and saw it was good."

    1st Reagan 1:1 = "In the beginning Ronald created the United States of America and the trickle down theory"

  5. #5
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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    2nd George B 3:35 = "And God created the NSA surveillance state and saw that it was good"

    2nd George B 3:36 = "And God created waterboarding and saw that it was good"

    1st George B 1:6 = "And God said "no new taxes" but the leaders rebuked him and were cast out"

  6. #6

    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    Quote Originally Posted by palbert View Post
    2nd George 3:35 = "And God created the NSA surveillance state and saw that it was good"
    2nd George W 3:37 = "Mission Accomplished"

    2nd George W 3:38 = "A humiliation of the masses was bestowed upon the fools who respected the king."
    Last edited by CowboyBob; December 21st, 2013 at 10:42 AM.

  7. #7

    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    1st Newt 2:15: = "Thou shall covet thy neighbor's wives, and they shall be blessed by Saint Sheldon from the deserts of Nevada."

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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    Well, King James I gather then is suspect because of his alleged homosexual proclivities... they don't want any Biblical version that was authorized by one of THOSE people!

    These idiots are beyond help.. they are pathetic, never satisfied in their hatred for anything outside their narrow little fundamentalist box. Now of course going against the King James version because it's allegedly got such a liberal bias, these people are extremists and need to be marginalized and kept being called out for the extremists they are.
    unofficial official mini meet Friday- Saturday April 11-12, 2014

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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    1 George B 12:7 = "And it came to pass in the second year of his reign that the Twin Towers were fallen, and George B arose in his majesty and smote the enemy Saddam of Iraq with great loss of life and treasure but peace was nevermore in that land."

    2 Obama 4:7 = "And Obama saw the red line in the sands of Syria and made ready to dialogue but Putin of Russia rose up and erased the red line and secured the destruction of chemical weapons of mass destruction but peace is not yet in that land."

  10. #10
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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    3 Boehner 2:3 = "And Boehner of the house of loose tribes brought the government to a standstill but the cries of the people touched his future and he gave way to their cries."

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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    5 Obama 1:2 = "And the Lord gave the Land of Obama a drone weapon with which to fight evil and it was used as Satan would use it and caused much tribulation in the Land and loss of life among the evil people, innocent or otherwise."

    4 Obama 2:3 = "And the Land of Obama was betrayed by one Edward of Snowden who fled for sanctuary to the Land of Russia, and their lived out his days."

    - - - Updated - - -

    2 George B 5.2 = "In the time of George B the Lord with great waters smote the people of New Orleans for their wanton and lascivious ways, and George B too quickly praised the work of one Brownie, and his people were not content in his words."

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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    1st George B 3:32 = "And Dan the Quayle the second in the Land brought forth a new vegetable called potatoe."

  13. #13
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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    Thanks guys, I couldn't have rewritten it any better than this. Keep on keepin' on.
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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    1 Obama 6:9 = "And it came about in the time of Obama that the sodomites married as man would with woman and claimed victory in their wantonness and the Lord was angry and sent great storms, snow, sleet and freezing rain among them so that their marking of Jesus' birth was troubled."

  15. #15
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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    And it came to pass that those who held their hands over their ears, saying "Nanananananana! against the Word of God spoke together, and said, "We weary of holding our hands so high; come, let us take this book and write in its place what we wish to hear, so that we be not offended".

    And so it was done. And they did find a publisher, who did print their book; and lo! great was the profit thereof.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  16. #16
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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    And the Book said that in His Church a woman should not lead men - and the Word was cried throughout the Land - and great was Hillary the Clinton's consternation thereat because she sought to place herself above men.

  17. #17
    JubberClubber White Eagle's Avatar
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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    Quote Originally Posted by Kulindahr View Post
    And it came to pass that those who held their hands over their ears, saying "Nanananananana! against the Word of God spoke together, and said, "We weary of holding our hands so high; come, let us take this book and write in its place what we wish to hear, so that we be not offended".

    And so it was done. And they did find a publisher, who did print their book; and lo! great was the profit thereof.
    I figured you would have a rewrite. Good one.
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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    And dismayed at the progress of the sodomites in seeking to lay with man as man does with woman the Lord called forth a new disciple Phil of the Robertson Ducks to preach his Word even at great cost to him.

  19. #19

    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    Romney 9:18 Verily I say onto you, it is easier to find an intelligent thought coming from the house of loose tribes then it is for a poor man to enter the kingdom of heaven.

    Boenher 1:10 And on the eighth day God created a lotion for the Man to mimic the effects of the sun, and God saw that this lotion was good.

    Palin 2:37 And so it came to pass in the fifth year of the Terrible Reign of the Dark One, the Bearded Man fought with his tongue the alliance of the sodomites and the animal rapists, and suffered much angst from their hordes. In those days, Blessed Sarah came to the Bearded Man's defense by sipping tea, and providing Kool-Aid for whosoever desired.
    Last edited by Vitamin; December 21st, 2013 at 03:11 PM.

  20. #20
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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    I guess that the first thing they should do is burn the New Testament and just stick with the Old. It generally is what most of the douchehead talibangelicals think their religion is about when they tell people they are 'Christians'.

  21. #21
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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    yea, i thought Revelations said you cannot rewrite or add anything to the bible. It is a perfect word of god.
    The same with the Koran, it is a perfect book and a "final" word of god.

    The best they can do is to stop making their own interpretations and JUST read these books without any interpretations. If they change any words or sentences what so ever, they should be beheaded.


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    Quote Originally Posted by Telstra View Post
    yea, i thought Revelations said you cannot rewrite or add anything to the bible. It is a perfect word of god.
    The same with the Koran, it is a perfect book and a "final" word of god.
    That warning in John's Apocalypse is meant for that book only; that's demonstrated by the fact that it wasn't always at the very end -- it was sometimes included right after The Gospel and then the Epistles of John, before Paul's letters.

    BTW, the Bible does not claim to be "perfect" in the sense modern English-speakers mean.

    Quote Originally Posted by Telstra View Post
    The best they can do is to stop making their own interpretations and JUST read these books without any interpretations. If they change any words or sentences what so ever, they should be beheaded.
    No, just send them to a monastery until they've copied the whole Bible word for word without error.

    In the original languages.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  23. #23
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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    Quote Originally Posted by Kulindahr View Post
    That warning in John's Apocalypse is meant for that book only; that's demonstrated by the fact that it wasn't always at the very end -- it was sometimes included right after The Gospel and then the Epistles of John, before Paul's letters.

    BTW, the Bible does not claim to be "perfect" in the sense modern English-speakers mean.



    No, just send them to a monastery until they've copied the whole Bible word for word without error.

    In the original languages.
    Don't tell them they have to learn Greek! They're socialist afterall

    The amusing part is the "apocryphos" is dropped from the Bible, particularly the Gospel of Thomas for being too conservative. It's quite cryptic too. you go from one line saying...

    Jesus said to them, "If you fast, you will bring sin upon yourselves, and if you pray, you will be condemned, and if you give to charity, you will harm your spirits.
    to...

    [Jesus said,] "If you have money, do not lend it at interest, but give [it] to one from whom you will not get it back."

  24. #24

    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    It's Phyllis Schlafly's son who is starting this. What do you expect? She's one of the biggest crackpots there is and it rubbed of on her spawn. Check out his conservapedia and you'll see just how nuts these people are.

    http://www.conservapedia.com/Main_Page

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phyllis_Schlafly

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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    Quote Originally Posted by maxpowr9 View Post
    Don't tell them they have to learn Greek! They're socialist afterall
    They don't have to learn it, just copy it.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    Quote Originally Posted by CowboyBob View Post
    It's Phyllis Schlafly's son who is starting this. What do you expect? She's one of the biggest crackpots there is and it rubbed of on her spawn. Check out his conservapedia and you'll see just how nuts these people are.

    http://www.conservapedia.com/Main_Page

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phyllis_Schlafly
    Gag me with a steam shovel -- that is the most scientifically imbecilic pile of manure I've ever encountered.

    I need to go wash my eye after reading such crap.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  27. #27
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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    Santorum, 6:11. And there came unto this great protectorate of the wealthy white straight men a vile denegrator, descended of the Dark Continent. He spake: "Men go out and lay with each other as man would woman, to create a frothy emulsion which will flood the whole of the earth." God bespoke to brothers Charles and David of ancient Koch tribe, to go out and purchase a yacht with money found in the ground, placed there by God, for the preservation of morality, warning of great deluge of depravity. In time, all of the morally upstanding and patriots of these United States of America came to find a place on the vessel, grouped as natural couples in the event that children be quickly needed. For 40 days and 40 nights, Saint Reagan of California wept upon the destruction of his holy and pure New Conservative Covenant. When the sludge receded, God came down to the mountaintop the Yacht landed on, and handed Sarah of the Far North, leader of the trailer park conglomerate, the 10 New Commandments. They are as follows:

    1. Thou shalt have no Gods before me
    2. Thou shall have carnal knowledge only for procreation
    3. Thou shall kill anyone or anything that disagrees with you, or is of a different color, or wears a funny hat
    4. Thou shalt sacrifice all money for corporate interests
    5. Thou shalt not ever even think about contraceptive devices
    6. Thou shalt not refer to the Black Man by name
    7. Thou should always be praising me for fostering unregulated capitalism and creating Fox News
    8. Thou shalt be thankful, for having a double-wide is a privilege
    9. Thou shall not harbor beliefs contrary to the group
    10. Thou shalt honor thy CEO, for they, as my vicars, created all jobs

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Rough and abbreviated re-writing of Genesis.
    Last edited by mightbe; December 21st, 2013 at 11:24 PM.

  28. #28
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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    Quote Originally Posted by CowboyBob View Post
    It's Phyllis Schlafly's son who is starting this. What do you expect? She's one of the biggest crackpots there is and it rubbed of on her spawn. Check out his conservapedia and you'll see just how nuts these people are.

    http://www.conservapedia.com/Main_Page

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phyllis_Schlafly
    Ah, yes, Homosexuality top of column 2.
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  29. #29
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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    Quote Originally Posted by mightbe View Post
    Santorum, 6:11. And there came unto this great protectorate of the wealthy white straight men a vile denegrator, descended of the Dark Continent. He spake: "Men go out and lay with each other as man would woman, to create a frothy emulsion which will flood the whole of the earth." God bespoke to brothers Charles and David of ancient Koch tribe, to go out and purchase a yacht with money found in the ground, placed there by God, for the preservation of morality, warning of great deluge of depravity. In time, all of the morally upstanding and patriots of these United States of America came to find a place on the vessel, grouped as natural couples in the event that children be quickly needed. For 40 days and 40 nights, Saint Reagan of California wept upon the destruction of his holy and pure New Conservative Covenant. When the sludge receded, God came down to the mountaintop the Yacht landed on, and handed Sarah of the Far North, leader of the trailer park conglomerate, the 10 New Commandments. They are as follows:

    1. Thou shalt have no Gods before me
    2. Thou shall have carnal knowledge only for procreation
    3. Thou shall kill anyone or anything that disagrees with you, or is of a different color, or wears a funny hat
    4. Thou shalt sacrifice all money for corporate interests
    5. Thou shalt not ever even think about contraceptive devices
    6. Thou shalt not refer to the Black Man by name
    7. Thou should always be praising me for fostering unregulated capitalism and creating Fox News
    8. Thou shalt be thankful, for having a double-wide is a privilege
    9. Thou shall not harbor beliefs contrary to the group
    10. Thou shalt honor thy CEO, for they, as my vicars, created all jobs

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Rough and abbreviated re-writing of Genesis.
    Wow! Just wow. Thanks.
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  30. #30
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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    The amazing thing is that in their ridiculously random edits...which clearly do not reference the original texts....these toolheads are breaking two of their own sacred commandments from Conservapedia...

    Editing on Conservapedia is open to the best of the public -- and that includes you. Here are our simple guidelines:

    1. Everything you post must be true and verifiable. Do not copy from Wikipedia[1] or elsewhere unless it was your original work.[2]

    2. Always cite[3] and give credit to your sources,[4] even if in the public domain.[5] When making citations from books, users are encouraged to find additional online sources that provide easy verification. Please check Google Books to see if this particular source is available in online form. If you are unfamiliar on how to place footnotes in a wiki, please see: Conservapedia:Footnotes - technical help
    These people intellectual midgets. We already have a definition of Santorum. What would you call the disgusting stuff that dripped out of Phyllis Schafly's cunt? Oh Right.

    Andy.

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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    Telstra 1:14 = And the Lord appeared unto Telstra and said "Let there be poo. Go forth and make my people safe therefrom." And Telstra went forth unto all the world with his message and techniques.

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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    From the statement of purpose for the Duck Dynasty re-write of the Bible:
    As of 2009, there is no fully conservative translation of the Bible which satisfies the following ten guidelines:[4]

    1. Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias. For example, the Living Bible translation has liberal evolutionary bias;[5] the widely used NIV translation has a pro-abortion bias.[6]

    2. Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, "gender inclusive" language, and other feminist distortions; preserve many references to the unborn child (the NIV deletes these)

    3. Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity[7]; the NIV is written at only the 7th grade level[8]

    4. Utilize Terms which better capture original intent: using powerful new conservative terms to capture better the original intent;[9] Defective translations use the word "comrade" three times as often as "volunteer"; similarly, updating words that have a change in meaning, such as "word", "peace", and "miracle".

    5. Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction[10] by using modern terms for it, such as "gamble" rather than "cast lots";[11] using modern political terms, such as "register" rather than "enroll" for the census

    6. Accept the Logic of Hell: applying logic with its full force and effect, as in not denying or downplaying the very real existence of Hell or the Devil.

    7. Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning

    8. Exclude Later-Inserted Inauthentic Passages: excluding the interpolated passages that liberals commonly put their own spin on, such as the adulteress story

    9. Credit Open-Mindedness of Disciples: crediting open-mindedness, often found in youngsters like the eyewitnesses Mark and John, the authors of two of the Gospels

    10. Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities; prefer concise, consistent use of the word "Lord" rather than "Jehovah" or "Yahweh" or "Lord God."

    Thus, a project has begun among editors at Conservapedia to translate the Bible in accordance with these principles. The translated Bible can be found here.

    It is very important to translate the Bible correctly. As it is written, "I warn everyone who hears the prophetic words in this book: if anyone adds to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this book, and if anyone takes away from the words in this prophetic book, God will take away his share in the tree of life and in the holy city described in this book" (Revelation 22, 18-19). See also Deuteronomy 4:2 (Conservative Bible): "Do not add to the word that I command you, and do not subtract from it, so that you may keep the commandments of the Lord your God that I command you."
    The irony is too delicious for words.

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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    I opened their article on homosexuality... I think I may have lasting drain bamage.

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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    Quote Originally Posted by mightbe View Post
    I opened their article on homosexuality... I think I may have lasting drain bamage.
    BEWARE! Harassing the Indian may result in sudden and severe hair loss.

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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    St Newt 25:2 Go forth and marry as many times as you want. But one at a time. If wife 2 gets cancer divorce her while she is in the Hospital and marry mistress.


    Well I tried!
    BEWARE! Harassing the Indian may result in sudden and severe hair loss.

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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    Quote Originally Posted by mightbe View Post
    Santorum, 6:11. And there came unto this great protectorate of the wealthy white straight men a vile denegrator, descended of the Dark Continent. He spake: "Men go out and lay with each other as man would woman, to create a frothy emulsion which will flood the whole of the earth." God bespoke to brothers Charles and David of ancient Koch tribe, to go out and purchase a yacht with money found in the ground, placed there by God, for the preservation of morality, warning of great deluge of depravity. In time, all of the morally upstanding and patriots of these United States of America came to find a place on the vessel, grouped as natural couples in the event that children be quickly needed. For 40 days and 40 nights, Saint Reagan of California wept upon the destruction of his holy and pure New Conservative Covenant. When the sludge receded, God came down to the mountaintop the Yacht landed on, and handed Sarah of the Far North, leader of the trailer park conglomerate, the 10 New Commandments. They are as follows:

    1. Thou shalt have no Gods before me
    2. Thou shall have carnal knowledge only for procreation
    3. Thou shall kill anyone or anything that disagrees with you, or is of a different color, or wears a funny hat
    4. Thou shalt sacrifice all money for corporate interests
    5. Thou shalt not ever even think about contraceptive devices
    6. Thou shalt not refer to the Black Man by name
    7. Thou should always be praising me for fostering unregulated capitalism and creating Fox News
    8. Thou shalt be thankful, for having a double-wide is a privilege
    9. Thou shall not harbor beliefs contrary to the group
    10. Thou shalt honor thy CEO, for they, as my vicars, created all jobs

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Rough and abbreviated re-writing of Genesis.
    Cute -- but you're mixing books.

    Quote Originally Posted by rareboy View Post
    The amazing thing is that in their ridiculously random edits...which clearly do not reference the original texts....these toolheads are breaking two of their own sacred commandments from Conservapedia...
    They don't even follow those rules in composing Conservapedia.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    It was an intentional jump between the two mountains. After all, they're already in the promised land where you may pay your employees less than 4 dollars a day. Seemed logical to cut out the rest. But I did goof the description. I guess it's technically a new book--simply paralleling Genesis+Exodus.

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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    Quote Originally Posted by mightbe View Post
    It was an intentional jump between the two mountains. After all, they're already in the promised land where you may pay your employees less than 4 dollars a day. Seemed logical to cut out the rest. But I did goof the description. I guess it's technically a new book--simply paralleling Genesis+Exodus.
    Call it "Genodus".


    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    Just so everyone is aware, Ten Commandments is a mistranslation of the Hebrew phrase "Aseret Hadevarim" (Ex. 34:28), which literally means ten things that God spoke to the Hebrews directly at Mt. Sinai, while the rest was dictated to Moses. The phrase appears only once in the entire Old Testament, so it must have not been thought important by the OT authors until Jewish scholars stressed the "Aseret Hadibrot" a more important sounding ten sayings, but that wording is not stated anywhere in scripture. Anyway, the Ten Commandments actually include at least 14 of the 613 commandments in the Jewish canonical count.
    Last edited by Alnitak; December 28th, 2013 at 10:37 AM.

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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    Quote Originally Posted by Alnitak View Post
    Just so everyone is aware, Ten Commandments is a mistranslation of the Hebrew phrase "Aseret Hadevarim" (Ex. 34:28), which literally means ten things that God spoke to the Hebrews directly at Mt. Sinai, while the rest was dictated to Moses.
    I beg to differ: "ten words" is far more literal, given the root דבר. My Hebrew professor liked to translate it as "ten points", as in "I have a point to make", to catch the concept.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    Quote Originally Posted by Kulindahr View Post
    I beg to differ: "ten words" is far more literal, given the root דבר. My Hebrew professor liked to translate it as "ten points", as in "I have a point to make", to catch the concept.
    Davar and diver are two different nouns, and they don't even have the same gender case. The male word davar is thing; the female noun diver means saying, or poetically can mean word I guess.

    Davar in concordance is almost never used to mean "word," maybe awkwardly as for example in English you wouldn't say "all the words I said" while you might say "all the things I said."
    Last edited by Alnitak; December 28th, 2013 at 12:37 PM.

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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    Quote Originally Posted by Alnitak View Post
    Davar and diver are two different nouns, and they don't even have the same gender case. The male word davar is thing; the female noun diver means saying, or poetically can mean word I guess.

    Davar in concordance is almost never used to mean "word," maybe awkwardly as for example in English you wouldn't say "all the words I said" while you might say "all the things I said."
    דבר in ancient Hebrew was definitely "word", as a noun; the use of that as "thing" is much later. It's a verbal noun from the word meaning "speak", and can be translated as "statement" to get the concept. It is often translated "order(s)", as in orders given by YHWH to Moses and Joshua in military matters.

    As for gender, the feminine form would be divrah, which becomes a name, "Deborah", which can be rendered as "she who gives orders".



    We're seeing here the gap between modern Hebrew and ancient. I've never read any Hebrew more recent than about the sixth century B.C.; modern Hebrew is a different language.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    Quote Originally Posted by Kulindahr View Post
    דבר in ancient Hebrew was definitely "word", as a noun; the use of that as "thing" is much later. It's a verbal noun from the word meaning "speak", and can be translated as "statement" to get the concept. It is often translated "order(s)", as in orders given by YHWH to Moses and Joshua in military matters.

    As for gender, the feminine form would be divrah, which becomes a name, "Deborah", which can be rendered as "she who gives orders".



    We're seeing here the gap between modern Hebrew and ancient. I've never read any Hebrew more recent than about the sixth century B.C.; modern Hebrew is a different language.
    I don't think you understand that davar and diver are totally different words despite having the same shoresh and spelling. Banking an airplane has nothing to do with money.

    DVR is a shoresh not a word. In the pasuk it is pronounced Dvarim, which means things, not dibrot, which means sayings or words. In this case you have it backwards, i.e. it was only until later that scholars began calling the "Ten Commandments" dibrot and not dvarim as it says in the scripture.
    Last edited by Alnitak; December 28th, 2013 at 01:19 PM.

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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    Quote Originally Posted by Alnitak View Post
    I don't think you understand that davar and diver are totally different words despite having the same shoresh and spelling. Banking an airplane has nothing to do with money.

    DVR is a shoresh not a word. In the pasuk it is pronounced Dvarim, which means things, not dibrot, which means sayings or words. In this case you have it backwards, i.e. it was only until later that scholars began calling the "Ten Commandments" dibrot and not dvarim as it says in the scripture.
    Diver in the Old Testament is a verb, "he/she/it spoke". Davar is a substantive from that verb, thus "what is spoken". In my Brown-Driver-Briggs lexicon, they're all listed under דבר, indicating they're all forms of a single word. Both BDB and TDNT list Exodus 20:1 as an instance where dvarim means words; it's a parallel structure with the verb up front "God spoke" and the noun form "speakings" (= words). So in Exodus 20:1, "God spoke all these words", it's really "God spoke all these speakings" -- the two English words in bold having the same root in Hebrew -- but some translations use "things" instead of words, something that's a common occurrence not because of the meaning in Hebrew but because of the way English is spoken.

    So what is generally the standard scholarly lexicon for the Old Testament disagrees with you, rendering "dvarim" as "words", with "things" being only a distant fourth in usage (after "speech" and "speaking").

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    And He said to them: Go forth and multiply in the Lands of the North and take their riches from them and their offspring.

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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    And lo, they went into the Land of Milk and Honey and did denude the Land and burden the inhabitants until alarms were raised but Our Lord said unto the burdened: Suffer.

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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    Quote Originally Posted by Kulindahr View Post
    Diver in the Old Testament is a verb, "he/she/it spoke". Davar is a substantive from that verb, thus "what is spoken". In my Brown-Driver-Briggs lexicon, they're all listed under דבר, indicating they're all forms of a single word.
    They're all forms of a single shoresh not word. DVR is a shoresh, but I don't dispute that diver is a modern noun.


    Both BDB and TDNT list Exodus 20:1 as an instance where dvarim means words; it's a parallel structure with the verb up front "God spoke" and the noun form "speakings" (= words). So in Exodus 20:1, "God spoke all these words", it's really "God spoke all these speakings" -- the two English words in bold having the same root in Hebrew -- but some translations use "things" instead of words, something that's a common occurrence not because of the meaning in Hebrew but because of the way English is spoken.
    Genesis 15:1 "Achar hadvarim..." means after these things/events, and then it uses the noun "devar" to refer to the word of God. I think that form of DVR may be unique in the entire OT. Again in Genesis 44 "dvarim" is used interchangeably as words and things.

    So what is generally the standard scholarly lexicon for the Old Testament disagrees with you, rendering "dvarim" as "words", with "things" being only a distant fourth in usage (after "speech" and "speaking").
    I'm sorry for what I have to say, but I am finding that Christians, whom are not versed in Hebrew, are overreliant on concordances of a non-Jewish origin to translate. The noun davar is a perfect example where it is assumed to mean word when often it does not, giving only the appearance that is its primary meaning.

    All of this discussion is relevant to you anyway, not me, since I do not read the OT in English and did not learn to read it translating from English. Enjoy.
    Last edited by Alnitak; December 29th, 2013 at 10:29 AM.

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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    Quote Originally Posted by palbert View Post
    And lo, they went into the Land of Milk and Honey and did denude the Land and burden the inhabitants until alarms were raised but Our Lord said unto the burdened: Suffer.
    Get a load of the Book of Joshua.

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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann are two of chief writers.

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    Re: Right-Wing Group Seeks Help Rewriting the Bible Because It's Not Conservative Enough

    And on the 7th day God did not rest, because that would have resulted in lost profit.

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