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  1. #1
    JUB Addict umjreon88's Avatar
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    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

    Single at heart, single in reality. Don't really think I'm the type to settle, though I used to have all these hopes and dreams about being with one person for the rest of my life (still standing)...
    "... You think the only people who are people
    Are the people who look and think like you ..." - Colours of the Wind by Vanessa Williams

  2. #2
    JUB Addict m1thousand's Avatar
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    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

    I don't mind being single though there are times when being with someone would be nice.

  3. #3
    The gay gargoyle G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

    Some people are just born to be independent. I probably could be Single For Life, but I'm enjoying my relationship.

    Lex

  4. #4
    Rambunctiously Pugnacious JayHawk's Avatar
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    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

    I get your point. People have to define things and then rate themselves it seems, we cant simply just be happy. The same applies to single or relationship. Both have merits.

    I think people set themselves up by establishing qualities that they self define as successful. There is a thin line but I believe it is much more healthy to have standards for how you live your life and then let the rest just happen. It is going to happen anyway.

    Deep thoughts with Jack Handy
    Everyone can be great, because everyone can serve.
    ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.


  5. #5
    JUB Addict Audio Tech's Avatar
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    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

    I'm totally single at heart. I don't mind at all. It gives me freedom and control over my own life that I truly enjoy.

  6. #6
    The nice guy from Nice. dpnice's Avatar
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    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

    Interesting article. The first time that I have seen my personal philosophy put into printed words. Every statement she makes I do, in fact, apply to my own life.

    I have taken it to an extreme in that I am now a total recluse only emerging from my nest when I decide it is necessary or will provide me with some form of pleasure.

    But I am certain that the true "single at heart" are fewer than she gives the impression; in my opinion people are not geared to living alone, are incapable of living a single life without becoming either ego-centric or extremely selfish.

    What I would like is all those, due to whatever reasons, find themselves living alone apply her reasoning to improve their own lives and come to accept that being alone does not necessarily equate with being lonely, depressed or miserable. But rather an opportunity to fulfil yourself according to your own personal needs rather than those involving a second person.
    http://justusboys.com/forum/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=72786&dateline=115443  2352

  7. #7
    ...is no hippie Harke the Boeotarch's Avatar
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    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

    [Accidental double post. Sorry]
    Last edited by Harke the Boeotarch; November 21st, 2013 at 09:03 AM.

  8. #8
    ...is no hippie Harke the Boeotarch's Avatar
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    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

    More like Multiple at Spade. Couldn't even fit my African in last weekend... (forgot my poppers...he usually bottoms...guess I'll have to wait until next full moon...slender penises are better for me LOL)...

    Anyway I read Psychology Today at the big Amsterdam Public Library and consider it to be a magazine for ladies with a psychological sauce on it.

  9. #9

    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

    As someone who likes being single that sounds like a lot of mumbo jumbo.

  10. #10
    nf fbt funw glbhuof gmhp SLOPPYSECONDS's Avatar
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    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

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  11. #11

    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post
    ^What specifically sounds like mumbo jumbo? The article? What don't you agree with?
    The article. It seems like needless categorizing. And it seems like an unnecessary and overt attempt to explain a certain (often temporary) state to make people feel comfortable and acceptable. These characteristics might be for a whole host of other reasons and not because someone is "single at heart".

    It's nice. It's cute. But if you like being single you like being single. Is it really more complicated than that? If you need a host of reasons to explain it all maybe you're really not "single at heart" but trying to find a way to cope with your current state. And when I say "you" I mean the general "you".

  12. #12
    JUB Addict maxpowr9's Avatar
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    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

    This is the inverse of the notion "marriage isn't for everyone".

    I have nothing against "bachelors". I only have problems when said bachelors will enter into a relationship.

  13. #13
    26354 MakeDigitalLove's Avatar
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    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

    Quote Originally Posted by LuckysRevenge View Post
    It's nice. It's cute. But if you like being single you like being single. Is it really more complicated than that? If you need a host of reasons to explain it all maybe you're really not "single at heart" but trying to find a way to cope with your current state. And when I say "you" I mean the general "you".
    Agreed with this.

  14. #14
    26354 MakeDigitalLove's Avatar
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    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post

    What I find interesting is that someone in a relationship can talk all day about how great being with someone makes them feel. Someone who is single with that same pride does the same and they're automatically "fake" for doing the same.
    There is a difference in just talking about being in a relationship or single and constantly broadcasting about either fact. There are people who tend to use either status as a trophy that they're proud of and I find when people do that, it is hardly believable that they are actually happy.

  15. #15
    JUB Addict journo25's Avatar
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    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

    I have a partner but we are not joined at the hip. We have important interests in common but each of us has passions and hobbies the other does not share, and because I moved from another part of the country to join him, I have friends he hasn't met, and vice versa. We each need to travel regularly for work. Even when we're home, he can spend hours watching a football game while I am off in another part of the house reading, listening to music, or cooking.

    All the times in my life when I was single and dating, I could never tolerate a bf who needed us to be together 24/7; who seemed not to have a life but needed mine to feel complete. I appreciated the sentiment but it was stifling and ultimately drove us apart.

    Does that make me "single at heart?" I appreciate the gift of living with someone but I also enjoy my own company. I would say we all need our independence and moments of privacy, whether we are single or have partners. Those who do not feel this way and need constant togetherness must find someone who feels the same way.

  16. #16
    JUB Addict journo25's Avatar
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    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

    Quote Originally Posted by MakeDigitalLove View Post
    There is a difference in just talking about being in a relationship or single and constantly broadcasting about either fact. There are people who tend to use either status as a trophy that they're proud of and I find when people do that, it is hardly believable that they are actually happy.
    I think this is very true. I have known a lot of guys over the years who panic when many of their friends find partners -- this seems particularly prevalent this time of year, between Thanksgiving and New Year's Eve -- and start obsessing about needing to find a boyfriend NOW! It reminds me of women who can't stop talking about their biological clocks ticking and who scare off guys on a first date by asking them if they are "daddy material." Everyone smells desperation and runs in the opposite direction!

    Guys forget that boyfriends aren't just for the holidays -- they're supposed to be for keeps!

  17. #17

    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post
    See I disagree. I think it's just her way of explaining herself in the face of folks' assumptions--conveying who she is to folks who would otherwise assume that she must be miserable or lonely for being the way she is. I hate labels, but I think she's using them as a way of resorting to folks who need them to understand.

    What I find interesting is that someone in a relationship can talk all day about how great being with someone makes them feel. Someone who is single with that same pride does the same and they're automatically "fake" for doing the same.
    You're incorrect. The worst thing to hear is someone talking all day about their relationship. Ask anyone. No one cares about a couple's cute stories or pictures.
    Actually this pertains to women and not really men. Women who aren't partnered are seen as undesirable. Single men are bachelors and partnered men are boring and tied down.

    And who cares what people think about you? Honestly you come off as having a hot single life on JUB. I don't think anyone would make negative assumptions about you based on your lifestyle. On the contrary, attempts to always justify or the need to always bring it up makes it seem like the individual is self-centered, unhappy or insecure.

  18. #18
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

    if you have to keep talking about it then you're probably not happy with being single.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  19. #19

    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

    I think you're confused. There's one thing to talk about being single. There's one thing to talk about being in a relationship. What we are talking about are those people who feel the need to discuss it over and over and over again.

    I don't know anyone who assumes a single person is miserable. But I've also lived in urban environments my entire life and hung around guys mostly. Being single is revered in these settings.

    It's only regarding women that I see single being associated with any negatives.

  20. #20
    Come again? dereperez's Avatar
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    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

    Being single can be great. Being in a relationship can be great. What makes the author of the article stand out is likely due to her being a woman, which reads "girl power." An independent woman. Other than that, I don't think the masses are necessarily looking down upon being single.

  21. #21
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
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    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

    I don't really have any part of my life that I would prefer to be off-limits, and it feels almost effortless to have my guy in my life, and I can't really think of any limitation that comes from having him in my life.

    I think that makes me well suited to couples life, but saying that makes me cringe a bit. I don't want to be in "a couple," I just want my guy around. If he weren't there, I think I'd be okay with being single.

  22. #22
    ForeverSingle+Unloveable 72-Jay's Avatar
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    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

    Well, I have been single my entire life, and I pretty much know in my heart I always will be.....
    Last edited by 72-Jay; November 22nd, 2013 at 11:57 PM.

  23. #23
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    medic1's Avatar
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    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

    I was single for just over 3 years, i found it to be "strange", i gain great comfort from knowing the man i love, loves me also.
    We both have very diverse occupations.
    His courage and compassion, still fills me with joy. We can and do talk about everything, one of the secrets of a successful relationship.
    Right up there with honesty.

  24. #24
    nf fbt funw glbhuof gmhp SLOPPYSECONDS's Avatar
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    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

    stills weedin this 1

    thankyou
    here wite bit apapa burtt it not it blue here yelloa bita papa burtt it not it pink
    "burtt it not papa" vary gurd_tittars_

  25. #25
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post
    My broadcasting that I can be happily single is no different than broadcasting happily gay to folks who think being gay is a miserable lifestyle. Being quick to shut someone's ignorance down is not the same as lying to oneself.

    I wasn't talking about me specifically, because I'm always happy for anyone who fits this mold to get their representation, but I always have to laugh because in discussing this topic, I always run into two people.

    Person A is the type to assume every single person must be miserable.
    Person B is the type to assume every single person who talks about being happily single must be miserable.

    What I find funny in these cases is that Person A and Person B are pretty much the same person. They've both made assumptions about someone based on nothing of substance, and yet Person B is always quick to give themselves points on being an intellectual, when the truth is, they had the same exact misconceived notions--they only went and found a meaningless loophole to convince themselves.

    Same shit, slightly edited rhetoric.



    If you have to keep talking about your relationship, you probably aren't happy being in one.

    If you have to keep talking about being gay, you probably aren't happy being gay.

    If you have to keep talking about your kids, you probably don't love them.

    I keep talking about New York. Clearly, I'm not happy with it. I'm trying to "convince myself."

    Sit yo ass down!
    uhhhh.... no. you obviously have an issue with being single since you always seem to want to talk about it.

    you're happy with being single. we got your point a long time ago because you said the same thing months and years ago. you seem to want other people to know this though when the truth is, nobody cares because folks are busy worrying about themselves as it is. so the more you keep on repeating yourself to others, it looks more like the exact opposite of what you're saying.
    Last edited by refujiunderground; November 23rd, 2013 at 10:16 AM.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  26. #26
    26354 MakeDigitalLove's Avatar
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    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

    No one in this thread is trolling. Nice defense mechanism though.

  27. #27
    ForeverSingle+Unloveable 72-Jay's Avatar
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    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner
    Quote Originally Posted by 72-Jay
    Well, I have been single my entire life, and I pretty much know in my heart I always will be.....
    Do you feel that people who know this about you ever make false judgements or assumptions?
    The only ones who truly know I've always been single (and as I say 'plan to remain that way forever' ) are family members .. nothing is ever said about it.

    Other people know I'm single (and I'll readily admit it if asked, or even if the subject of girlfriends comes up). I really don't get questioned on it - especially if I say "I just kinda like being single"

  28. #28
    Dr Bit! :~D
    LilBit's Avatar
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    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

    I've been through periods when I was perfectly happy to be single, but even then, I was looking forward to finishing grad school and settling down so I could find a long-term relationship. I had a lot of people treat me with pity because I was single, even when I explained that it was by choice.

    On the other hand, my last relationship has made me very nervous about dating and relationships. There are time when I wonder if I'm really ready to have a LTR right now.
    Recently I heard a 'wise guy' story that I had a party at my home for twenty-five men. It's an interesting story, but I don't know twenty-five men I'd want to invite to a party. ~Joan Crawford

  29. #29
    Banned
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    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

    ^Yeah but in fagstaff?

    All I ever experienced there was wind.....cold.

  30. #30
    nf fbt funw glbhuof gmhp SLOPPYSECONDS's Avatar
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    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

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  31. #31
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    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

    I'm totally single at heart as well, i used to fantasize about meeting Mr right and living happily ever after but the older i get i realize that's never going to happen. Maybe because i live in a small town and the odds of meeting gay guys are slim to none and/or today guys either want to fuck or they don't want you because you don't have the "looks". Maybe after i get some of my goals done and lose weight i could pursue a relationship but i am not happy with life yet i don't need the added stress.


    Its just pretty sad these days people can't go a month with out jumping into a new relationship i watch one guy had 3 failed relationships in under 6 months.
    Last edited by USEDCAR; November 25th, 2013 at 05:19 PM.

  32. #32
    Last Chance Jubber justsimon's Avatar
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    Re: Are You Single At Heart?

    I enjoy being in a relationship and would like to settle down with someone. At the same time, it's been three years since my last relationship and I don't mind being single … I definitely don't do anything to change the situation.

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