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Thread: Odd anti-social behavior

      
   
  1. #1
    DragononFire
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    Odd anti-social behavior

    I have dealt with a lot of it from people and I'm sure you have too.

    Today I yet again dealt with another oddball. On another social site, a lot of people on there like to use the app called Kik (spelling?). This one gay guy from Indiana (where I live) was asking if anyone would like to talk to him on Kik, but I don't have that app, so I asked if I could talk to him anyways since I was bored. I look on his status a short while later and he deleted my comment. I was a little thrown off, but wasn't terribly bothered. I messaged him asking if it was ok to add him and talk to him. He read my message but didn't reply back to it. I went to add him and then I find out he blocked me for some odd, unknown reason. Was it something I said? Is it how I looked in my profile picture that made him think I was unattractive and not worthy of talking to? How would he even know what I am like and what I might say if he didn't respond back to me? I really don't get it when people act like that. They say they want to talk but then they don't say anything upon talking to them.

    I've also come to know that some will only reply to you when they "need" something or when negativity shows its ugly face. There was a teacher at my high school a little older than me that I wanted to hang out with, and this was years after I graduated. He never responded back to me when I asked if we could hang out yet he replied when I was horny once and sent him a picture of my cock and ended up blocking me (yeah, that was my fault). How come some only respond to the negative and never anything positive like just wanting to chat and/or hang out? I don't get it. Come to find out, he is indeed anti-social according to his profile. I don't see how you can be a teacher and be anti-social at the same time?

    A former friend of mine is also the same way. He says he'll hang out with you but never follows through ever with doing so. I had made plans with him and he never once made the effort to hang out with me ever again after I moved away from his neighborhood. It's a pity that he became both an alcoholic and a homophobe years after I moved away, he used to be a decent guy but now all he thinks about is beer this and beer that and saying that being gay is a sin. I found out how anti-gay he is when I made the mistake of sending racy pics of me to him, wanting to relive the flirtation we did back then. It was a crappy way to find out how much he'd changed for the worst and I feel pitiful for that.

    Another thing I hate is when I want the most to be social yet there is no one around to be social with. It's disheartening when you like a person enough to want to be their friend and hang out but they close themselves off from the world and other people. It spoils it for people like myself who just want some friendship and company.

    Anyways, one of my pet peeves is when people don't reply back to their messages you've sent them. Forgive me if this sounds crass, but you can't be that busy if you're taking the time to surf social networking sites. I don't know what's worse, finding out that someone hasn't read your message yet or has read your message but never replied to it. Here's one of my mottoes: "If you're not going to be social on a social networking site, then leave".

    Ugh...rant over.

  2. #2

    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    governments civlis serivace police military rock pop media companys lots alls antisocial

    catch up

    thankyou

    ta alls hot blooded male balls wot wear smilesys happy happys as always
    rise ans falls of Penis

    it best sella

  3. #3
    DragononFire
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by SLOPPYSECONDS View Post
    governments civlis serivace police military rock pop media companys lots alls antisocial

    catch up

    thankyou

    ta alls hot blooded male balls wot wear smilesys happy happys as always
    ok?????

  4. #4

    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by SLOPPYSECONDS View Post
    governments civlis serivace police military rock pop media companys lots alls antisocial

    catch up

    thankyou

    ta alls hot blooded male balls wot wear smilesys happy happys as always

    yes, that's nice, Sloppy


    now run along back to the little table...big people are talking


    and put your football helmet back on


    ..we don't want you banging into the furniture again

  5. #5
    soooooo collllldddd rareboy's Avatar
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Here's an idea.

    Forget living your life through an app and get out there and find people who live it for real and aren't socially backward or as fucked up as about 75% of the world that has decided to make all their social and sexual connections through the web.

  6. #6
    DragononFire
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by rareboy View Post
    Here's an idea.

    Forget living your life through an app and get out there and find people who live it for real and aren't socially backward or as fucked up as about 75% of the world that has decided to make all their social and sexual connections through the web.
    If only it were that easy.

  7. #7
    JUB Addict maxpowr9's Avatar
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Welcome to the "me" generation: where selflessness is tossed aside for their own wants.

    Then you wonder why depression is on the rise.

  8. #8
    What I Did For Love BENDERBOY's Avatar
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    It might have been he just wanted some sex talk and he realized you weren't UP for that.
    "You may only be one person to the world, but you may also be the world to one person"
    - anonymous quote.

  9. #9
    soooooo collllldddd rareboy's Avatar
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by DragononFire View Post
    If only it were that easy.
    Why does everyone only want what is easy and not what is worthwhile?

  10. #10
    The gay gargoyle
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    There's nothing wrong with using the shortcuts and convenience that apps and websites provide. But you're going to have to take all the oddball behavior peculiar to apps and websites along with it.

    Today I yet again dealt with another oddball. On another social site, a lot of people on there like to use the app called Kik (spelling?). This one gay guy from Indiana (where I live) was asking if anyone would like to talk to him on Kik, but I don't have that app, so I asked if I could talk to him anyways since I was bored. I look on his status a short while later and he deleted my comment. I was a little thrown off, but wasn't terribly bothered. I messaged him asking if it was ok to add him and talk to him. He read my message but didn't reply back to it. I went to add him and then I find out he blocked me for some odd, unknown reason. Was it something I said? Is it how I looked in my profile picture that made him think I was unattractive and not worthy of talking to? How would he even know what I am like and what I might say if he didn't respond back to me? I really don't get it when people act like that. They say they want to talk but then they don't say anything upon talking to them.
    No idea, but here's a bunch of possibilities.

    Maybe he only uses KIK to chat because it weeds out some (more) of the freaks.
    Maybe you put across your "I'm going to ask you to chat anyway because I'm bored" attitude (intentionally or not), he picked up on it, and decided he didn't want to be your monkey.
    Maybe he didn't like your profile picture.
    Maybe he's only interested in older/younger/smaller/bigger/hairier/smoother/hotter/weirder people.
    Maybe your profile name sounds like his ex.
    Maybe he collects "blocks" because he enjoys feeling he dodged a bullet each time he "had to" block somebody.

    All sorts of possibilities. Any of them possible. It sounds like you were out about fifteen seconds of your life here. Get used to wasting those fifteen seconds, because this happens a lot.

    I've also come to know that some will only reply to you when they "need" something or when negativity shows its ugly face. There was a teacher at my high school a little older than me that I wanted to hang out with, and this was years after I graduated. He never responded back to me when I asked if we could hang out yet he replied when I was horny once and sent him a picture of my cock and ended up blocking me (yeah, that was my fault). How come some only respond to the negative and never anything positive like just wanting to chat and/or hang out? I don't get it. Come to find out, he is indeed anti-social according to his profile. I don't see how you can be a teacher and be anti-social at the same time?
    Being "anti-social" and being a teacher don't have to be mutually exclusive. You're dealing with subordinates who presumably have at least some vague sense of the teacher-student relationship. Students can't "reject" their teacher the same way an equal can, and therefore, anti-social folks don't feel the same sense of dread in dealing with students as they do with equals. I'm not sure why you'd send a dick pic to a former teacher who didn't seem that interested in interacting with you - maybe that's your own form of odd anti-social behavior - but I don't find anything he did to be that out of line.

    A former friend of mine is also the same way. He says he'll hang out with you but never follows through ever with doing so. I had made plans with him and he never once made the effort to hang out with me ever again after I moved away from his neighborhood. It's a pity that he became both an alcoholic and a homophobe years after I moved away, he used to be a decent guy but now all he thinks about is beer this and beer that and saying that being gay is a sin. I found out how anti-gay he is when I made the mistake of sending racy pics of me to him, wanting to relive the flirtation we did back then. It was a crappy way to find out how much he'd changed for the worst and I feel pitiful for that.
    It's possible these people aren't planners. They're guests not hosts. They'll always be up for doing something (or at least open to the opportunity), but they'll never set anything up themselves. Some people just don't operate that way. Also, I have acquaintances who overbook themselves constantly. They line up three or four things to do each day, and then either cancel the least interesting ones, or simply don't show up to them. And yeah, I tend not to do anything with them. Why do they do it? Because having three or four things booked means you always have something to do. If something cancels, you can always go to something else. I've noticed these people tend to be pretty terrible at being on their own. Whenever they DO end up spending the night alone, they're bemoaning the fact online, or calling/e-mailing people (including me) wanting to know if "you wanna do something?".

    Anyways, one of my pet peeves is when people don't reply back to their messages you've sent them. Forgive me if this sounds crass, but you can't be that busy if you're taking the time to surf social networking sites. I don't know what's worse, finding out that someone hasn't read your message yet or has read your message but never replied to it. Here's one of my mottoes: "If you're not going to be social on a social networking site, then leave".
    Maybe they ARE social - just not with you. If I send a couple of messages to somebody, and they don't return them, I figure either they don't respond to messages in general, or they're just not interested in interacting with ME. And I'm fine either way - I just think "Well, Bob apparently isn't worth the effort of trying to chat" and I don't send him another message.

    Another thing I hate is when I want the most to be social yet there is no one around to be social with. It's disheartening when you like a person enough to want to be their friend and hang out but they close themselves off from the world and other people. It spoils it for people like myself who just want some friendship and company.
    And how do you respond when they send YOU a message/phone-call to go do something, and you're too busy, or not interested? Do you let them know? "Wow, it sounds like fun, but I'm not able to do anything today. Maybe we can get together next weekend?" Because I do that, and I never have any trouble lining something up when I want to. Maybe not the first person I talk to, but eventually.

    Then again, since you've messed up at least two friendships/relationships by sending out pictures of yourself in various states of undress, I'd say perhaps your problems might go a bit deeper than "I don't understand why people are anti-social".

    Lex

  11. #11
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by rareboy View Post
    Here's an idea.

    Forget living your life through an app and get out there and find people who live it for real and aren't socially backward or as fucked up as about 75% of the world that has decided to make all their social and sexual connections through the web.
    Quote Originally Posted by rareboy View Post
    Why does everyone only want what is easy and not what is worthwhile?
    ^^ Listen.

    There is little that is "social" about an app.

  12. #12
    DragononFire
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by maxpowr9 View Post
    Welcome to the "me" generation: where selflessness is tossed aside for their own wants.

    Then you wonder why depression is on the rise.
    I can see that. It's pitiful, spoils it for those who really want friendship.

    Quote Originally Posted by BENDERBOY View Post
    It might have been he just wanted some sex talk and he realized you weren't UP for that.
    I didn't say I wasn't up for that?????

    Quote Originally Posted by rareboy View Post
    Why does everyone only want what is easy and not what is worthwhile?
    That's not what I meant. I meant that it's not easy for me to go out and be social because of several limitations, those being my health and not having a vehicle. I wish I could just be a "get up and go" type of person but that is unrealistic at the moment.

  13. #13
    DragononFire
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by G-Lexington View Post
    There's nothing wrong with using the shortcuts and convenience that apps and websites provide. But you're going to have to take all the oddball behavior peculiar to apps and websites along with it.



    No idea, but here's a bunch of possibilities.

    Maybe he only uses KIK to chat because it weeds out some (more) of the freaks.
    Maybe you put across your "I'm going to ask you to chat anyway because I'm bored" attitude (intentionally or not), he picked up on it, and decided he didn't want to be your monkey.
    Maybe he didn't like your profile picture.
    Maybe he's only interested in older/younger/smaller/bigger/hairier/smoother/hotter/weirder people.
    Maybe your profile name sounds like his ex.
    Maybe he collects "blocks" because he enjoys feeling he dodged a bullet each time he "had to" block somebody.

    All sorts of possibilities. Any of them possible. It sounds like you were out about fifteen seconds of your life here. Get used to wasting those fifteen seconds, because this happens a lot.



    Being "anti-social" and being a teacher don't have to be mutually exclusive. You're dealing with subordinates who presumably have at least some vague sense of the teacher-student relationship. Students can't "reject" their teacher the same way an equal can, and therefore, anti-social folks don't feel the same sense of dread in dealing with students as they do with equals. I'm not sure why you'd send a dick pic to a former teacher who didn't seem that interested in interacting with you - maybe that's your own form of odd anti-social behavior - but I don't find anything he did to be that out of line.



    It's possible these people aren't planners. They're guests not hosts. They'll always be up for doing something (or at least open to the opportunity), but they'll never set anything up themselves. Some people just don't operate that way. Also, I have acquaintances who overbook themselves constantly. They line up three or four things to do each day, and then either cancel the least interesting ones, or simply don't show up to them. And yeah, I tend not to do anything with them. Why do they do it? Because having three or four things booked means you always have something to do. If something cancels, you can always go to something else. I've noticed these people tend to be pretty terrible at being on their own. Whenever they DO end up spending the night alone, they're bemoaning the fact online, or calling/e-mailing people (including me) wanting to know if "you wanna do something?".



    Maybe they ARE social - just not with you. If I send a couple of messages to somebody, and they don't return them, I figure either they don't respond to messages in general, or they're just not interested in interacting with ME. And I'm fine either way - I just think "Well, Bob apparently isn't worth the effort of trying to chat" and I don't send him another message.



    And how do you respond when they send YOU a message/phone-call to go do something, and you're too busy, or not interested? Do you let them know? "Wow, it sounds like fun, but I'm not able to do anything today. Maybe we can get together next weekend?" Because I do that, and I never have any trouble lining something up when I want to. Maybe not the first person I talk to, but eventually.

    Then again, since you've messed up at least two friendships/relationships by sending out pictures of yourself in various states of undress, I'd say perhaps your problems might go a bit deeper than "I don't understand why people are anti-social".

    Lex
    My goodness, this is a lot to sort through but I understand various excerpts of it. I mean, I wasn't forcing the guy who blocked me to talk to me, I just wanted some casual talk and I got denied, which makes me a bit mad because it happens too often so forgive me. My intentions, or lack thereof, are always good and I am just looking to be friendly and inviting to people.

    The teacher said he was anti-social, which I take it as being all around anti-social and not just at his job. I sent the pic because I was horny, it happens, and I wanted to blow it off on him and that was a mistake I have realized for a long while now. I wanted to get to know him outside of school, as a friend or acquaintance, long before that, but here I was ignored so I found it a bit odd but was like "ok then".

    I just don't know what happened between the time I moved and now as to why this now former friend didn't want to spend time with me anymore, we used to do everything together. I wanted to continue our friendship but I guess he felt that drinking buddy-type people are more fun and worthwhile. I also think his priorities were mixed up and doesn't know what to do with himself sometimes. I know he works a lot but yet when he's not busy, I am left out of the loop when it comes to him hanging out with "friends", and I use that word loosely because 1,204 people (exaggerated number) can't all be someone's friends. I guess he just moved on to what he thought was "better", but I don't think being a constant drinker/partygoer homophobe is really anything to be happy about.

    I just hate it when people don't reply, I am taking time out of my day to take an interest in their life and get to know them. Some I guess just aren't flattered by that. When did it become a crime to be friends with people outside your norm? Since I know myself better, I know I will always get around to messaging people back even when I have a hectic schedule or feel sick. Of course I let them know if I can hang out or not, I am not that anti-social. I have all the time in the world to be social and to make plans at any time. The only "problem" I have with your last sentence is that I indeed was aroused and vented it to the wrong people. I knew that then and I know that now.
    Last edited by DragononFire; November 5th, 2013 at 04:24 PM.

  14. #14
    JUB Addict LeicsDom's Avatar
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Hmm remember it is only the net. It isn't real life

  15. #15
    The gay gargoyle
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by DragononFire View Post
    My goodness, this is a lot to sort through but I understand various excerpts of it. I mean, I wasn't forcing the guy who blocked me to talk to me, I just wanted some casual talk and I got denied, which makes me a bit mad because it happens too often so forgive me. My intentions, or lack thereof, are always good and I am just looking to be friendly and inviting to people.
    You're using a social networking site. It enables people to reach out and contact thousands of people that they wouldn't be able to otherwise. But it also enables them to be rude to, ignore, and block those same thousands of people that they wouldn't be able to otherwise. There is no protocol other than that which evolves over time and repetition. And the protocol is that there IS no protocol. You can be a bit rude or downright dickish on these sites if you so desire, and the only repercussion is that some people are going to find you a bit rude or downright dickish.

    I just hate it when people don't reply, I am taking time out of my day to take an interest in their life and get to know them. Some I guess just aren't flattered by that. When did it become a crime to be friends with people outside your norm?
    It never did. But you need to stop looking at people as being precisely like you, because they're not. Some people don't have any interest in talking to people they don't know. Or in talking to people that don't fit whatever qualifications they choose. As I said, maybe you weren't hot enough, rich enough, old enough, young enough, whatever enough. That's their call. Just as it's your call to get offended by it. I've been turned down for being too old, too ugly, too hairy, too uninteresting, too unfunny, and for no perceivable reason whatsoever. That's fine. I shrug it off and move on to other people - maybe this next one will be more fruitful. I've got stuff to do - I don't have the time or energy to lug around resentment because somebody decided I wasn't worth chatting with.

    Lex

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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Basically, don't get stressed when people don't respond -they are not interested in you. Its harsh but that is the world we live. Second, don't send cock pics to people who don't ask for them, that can never go well!

  17. #17
    DragononFire
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by G-Lexington View Post
    You're using a social networking site. It enables people to reach out and contact thousands of people that they wouldn't be able to otherwise. But it also enables them to be rude to, ignore, and block those same thousands of people that they wouldn't be able to otherwise. There is no protocol other than that which evolves over time and repetition. And the protocol is that there IS no protocol. You can be a bit rude or downright dickish on these sites if you so desire, and the only repercussion is that some people are going to find you a bit rude or downright dickish.



    It never did. But you need to stop looking at people as being precisely like you, because they're not. Some people don't have any interest in talking to people they don't know. Or in talking to people that don't fit whatever qualifications they choose. As I said, maybe you weren't hot enough, rich enough, old enough, young enough, whatever enough. That's their call. Just as it's your call to get offended by it. I've been turned down for being too old, too ugly, too hairy, too uninteresting, too unfunny, and for no perceivable reason whatsoever. That's fine. I shrug it off and move on to other people - maybe this next one will be more fruitful. I've got stuff to do - I don't have the time or energy to lug around resentment because somebody decided I wasn't worth chatting with.

    Lex
    That makes a lot of sense. The way you put it makes it sound very dickish indeed but is so true. I don't get why people have to be that way, insecure or something? I didn't say everyone was or has to be like me, but it would be nice to find some people like myself so things aren't always so "hit and miss" all the time. It makes me sad the more I realize what you are saying, no fault of your own, just the fact that society has declined to the point you are making.

  18. #18
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by DragononFire View Post
    I have dealt with a lot of it from people and I'm sure you have too.
    I use to be the antisocial one :/

    ^Another kicking English grammar post

  19. #19
    DragononFire
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by geloge View Post
    I use to be the antisocial one :/
    Yeah? What is your story?

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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    I hate to side with the rhetoric that the only way to meet real people is outside of the SCARY interwebs, but seriously, where do you live that - for as "social" a person as you proclaim yourself to be - you can't meet people in public?

    Also, your quip about "you can't be that busy if you're taking the time to surf social networking sites" might just be one of your problems; you seem to feel entitled that people give you a chance, when the reality is if you come on too strong or they straight up don't want to, they're not obligated to do so.
    "Confront the power of forming,

    Killing your problems of evil..."

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    might be a joke or not-->
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by DragononFire View Post
    Yeah? What is your story?
    It's not really a story, it's hard for me to connect to new people. Also I don't use to contact my friends, my friends let me know their plans.

    ^Another kicking English grammar post

  22. #22

    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    It's ok, dont have to think too much about that.
    At least you guys not making appointment or else and he canceled on the very day. Try to be minimal as possible, I sense from the way you posting here, that you want genuine human interaction. I tell you, you'll find it when you're not looking and the best interaction is not something you can push or arrange, it's happen by itself.
    But again..try to be minimal as possible- if the situation not draining his or your energy, then shake it off. Otherwise, you have the right to ask for repairment.

  23. #23
    DragononFire
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by MoufOfKhaos View Post
    I hate to side with the rhetoric that the only way to meet real people is outside of the SCARY interwebs, but seriously, where do you live that - for as "social" a person as you proclaim yourself to be - you can't meet people in public?

    Also, your quip about "you can't be that busy if you're taking the time to surf social networking sites" might just be one of your problems; you seem to feel entitled that people give you a chance, when the reality is if you come on too strong or they straight up don't want to, they're not obligated to do so.
    In the middle of bum fuck Egypt as they say around here. But no really, I live right beside a highway way out in the country. Most of the people here are retired citizens or kids much younger than me. I don't feel entitled to anything except my own thoughts and emotions. If I get a little upset, it's because I dislike being cut off at the knees.

  24. #24
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by DragononFire
    Anyways, one of my pet peeves is when people don't reply back to their messages you've sent them. Forgive me if this sounds crass, but you can't be that busy if you're taking the time to surf social networking sites. I don't know what's worse, finding out that someone hasn't read your message yet or has read your message but never replied to it. Here's one of my mottoes: "If you're not going to be social on a social networking site, then leave".
    I don't do . social networking sites . or hookup apps . or etc .
    But on forum sites like this one... i always feel the need to reply back if someone sends a message even if its not really a question
    So what you said here makes sense to me.

  25. #25
    DragononFire
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by 72-Jay View Post
    I don't do . social networking sites . or hookup apps . or etc .
    But on forum sites like this one... i always feel the need to reply back if someone sends a message even if its not really a question
    So what you said here makes sense to me.
    I'm glad someone understands

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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Welcome to the phone apps social world.
    They only want to text messages if they want something.


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by DragononFire View Post
    Anyways, one of my pet peeves is when people don't reply back to their messages you've sent them. Forgive me if this sounds crass, but you can't be that busy if you're taking the time to surf social networking sites. I don't know what's worse, finding out that someone hasn't read your message yet or has read your message but never replied to it. Here's one of my mottoes: "If you're not going to be social on a social networking site, then leave".

    Ugh...rant over.
    Umm.... Sending a message/text/so on to someone does not automatically create a necessity for them to respond in kind. Granted, it would be nice of they responded, but there is no law requiring them to do so. In fact, the lack of response can be considered itself a response, especially if it is confirmed that the original message was received. For some reason you were considered undesirable as a conversation associate. Move on, its in your best interests.

    Quote Originally Posted by rareboy View Post
    Here's an idea.

    Forget living your life through an app and get out there and find people who live it for real and aren't socially backward or as fucked up as about 75% of the world that has decided to make all their social and sexual connections through the web.
    This is excellent advice.

    Quote Originally Posted by DragononFire View Post
    If only it were that easy.
    Actually it is. Turn the computer off and go hang out where others do. Go to your local library, to one of your community parks, or other such gathering place. Maybe get a group of coworkers together and go out to dinner, or take lunch together away from the office. Do something that has you interacting with people, preferably not through a machine. You seem to have issues when people don't respond. With face to face communications this rarely happens as even turning one's back to walk away is a clear response.
    It's never too early in the year,
    to spread some goodwill cheer!

  28. #28
    DragononFire
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by Willie Boy View Post
    Umm.... Sending a message/text/so on to someone does not automatically create a necessity for them to respond in kind. Granted, it would be nice of they responded, but there is no law requiring them to do so. In fact, the lack of response can be considered itself a response, especially if it is confirmed that the original message was received. For some reason you were considered undesirable as a conversation associate. Move on, its in your best interests.

    Actually it is. Turn the computer off and go hang out where others do. Go to your local library, to one of your community parks, or other such gathering place. Maybe get a group of coworkers together and go out to dinner, or take lunch together away from the office. Do something that has you interacting with people, preferably not through a machine. You seem to have issues when people don't respond. With face to face communications this rarely happens as even turning one's back to walk away is a clear response.
    I am well aware of that, but it's common sense to respond back and not make it look like you're ignoring the person, because then all sorts of things go through their head as to why no reply. Yeah? Tell me the reason why I was/am "undesirable" to talk to? I've been wondering that all my life. Is it because this generation has become desensitized? self-centered? closeted? shallow?

    I would love nothing more than to do everything you said in the last sentences but here's the problem, I am jobless, disabled, ill, without a car and without any friends in this new town I've been in since March. I would love to interact in person if those weren't an issue and if I wasn't so far from civilization.

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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Social skill or social power does not mean figuring out how to get people to talk to you.

    Social skill is the ability to figure out who wants to talk and leaving the rest alone.
    Americans need to keep their guns so they can protect themselves from gun violence just like Nancy Lanza did. And like Chris Kyle did. And like Gabby Giffords did. And like Tom Clements did. And like Michael Piemonte.

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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    The best friendships grow from doing things together -- working on a chore, taking a trip, playing a board game, working out, whatever.

    It is in-person time that makes the difference. Find something, do it with other people, make friends. Don't wait to be invited, invite.
    There are TWO kinds of people in the world -- the kind who believe there are two kinds of people, and the kind who don't.

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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by DragononFire View Post
    I am well aware of that, but it's common sense to respond back and not make it look like you're ignoring the person, because then all sorts of things go through their head as to why no reply. Yeah? Tell me the reason why I was/am "undesirable" to talk to? I've been wondering that all my life. Is it because this generation has become desensitized? self-centered? closeted? shallow?
    I can't think of being much more self centered than demanding a response from someone who is clearly not interested. I understand where you are coming from, but the world doesn't revolve around you. The lack of response is in itself a response. And you said it yourself: for some reason you came off as undesirable to talk to. OK, move on.... But you went a step further and demanded a response. Then you got blocked.

    From what you posted here and what you described of your posts there I would say you tend to come off as clingy and possessive, with a major helping of desperate. That will push people away faster than rolling in fresh dog shit, because with the dog shit you can at least bathe and don clean clothes. Your issues are a little harder to overcome. If you want to make things work I suggest you find a hobby you enjoy doing and just do it. Don't define your life around "having others to hang out with" or you will always need to have someone, and will get quite desperate when none is available (this can be dangerous for you as well as for others). In time, as you learn to enjoy your hobby alone go out and enjoy it among others. Then you can meet people to share with who have similar interest(s) and you'll have common ground to hang out on.

    I would love nothing more than to do everything you said in the last sentences but here's the problem, I am jobless, disabled, ill, without a car and without any friends in this new town I've been in since March. I would love to interact in person if those weren't an issue and if I wasn't so far from civilization.
    There must be some hospital you go to for care? Next time you are there ask a nurse for help in finding services to help in those areas, or contact your local Social Security office. If you truly are disabled as you say there are benefits you qualify for. But be careful, the term disabled is thrown around often these days to cover everything from laziness to a stubbed toe. But if you really are disabled there is help.
    It's never too early in the year,
    to spread some goodwill cheer!

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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    There are many reasons why people not respond to messages so don't take it personally:
    1/ they may not be interested
    2/ they are too busy
    3/ they have hardships beyond their control
    4/ they maybe very sick ... etc


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Be a good 'listener'. Ask them about their day.

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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by rareboy View Post
    Be a good 'listener'. Ask them about their day.
    lol, mostly are no hot no talk


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  35. #35
    DragononFire
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by Willie Boy View Post
    I can't think of being much more self centered than demanding a response from someone who is clearly not interested. I understand where you are coming from, but the world doesn't revolve around you. The lack of response is in itself a response. And you said it yourself: for some reason you came off as undesirable to talk to. OK, move on.... But you went a step further and demanded a response. Then you got blocked.

    From what you posted here and what you described of your posts there I would say you tend to come off as clingy and possessive, with a major helping of desperate. That will push people away faster than rolling in fresh dog shit, because with the dog shit you can at least bathe and don clean clothes. Your issues are a little harder to overcome. If you want to make things work I suggest you find a hobby you enjoy doing and just do it. Don't define your life around "having others to hang out with" or you will always need to have someone, and will get quite desperate when none is available (this can be dangerous for you as well as for others). In time, as you learn to enjoy your hobby alone go out and enjoy it among others. Then you can meet people to share with who have similar interest(s) and you'll have common ground to hang out on.


    There must be some hospital you go to for care? Next time you are there ask a nurse for help in finding services to help in those areas, or contact your local Social Security office. If you truly are disabled as you say there are benefits you qualify for. But be careful, the term disabled is thrown around often these days to cover everything from laziness to a stubbed toe. But if you really are disabled there is help.
    You're not telling me anything I don't already know. If I come off as "clingy", it's because I never had the pleasure of having ANYONE growing up, and I mean anyone. When I attempted suicide, no one was there. When I was being mistreated in school, no one was there. When I needed my parents the most, they weren't there. I am not possessive, far from it, but it would be nice to have some understanding of why I go out of my way to be nice, because I am good to people (maybe too good) and they become ungrateful and shit all over it. I am not desperate either, but I would love to have a friendship or relationship where good communication is one of the key ingredients. Is that really too much to ask for? Must I continue to impress people to be accepted? It's not that I have issues with making friends and talking to people, it's just an issue when my side is the only one communicating.

    The disabilities I have are panic attacks, post-op pain and chronic GERD. They kind of bounce off each other. I haven't left my house in months because of the pain and the searing pain of GERD. I take medications for it all but it's not as effective now as it once was. I get panic attacks without even thinking about it or feeling bad, so it's a constant struggle.

    Quote Originally Posted by rareboy View Post
    Be a good 'listener'. Ask them about their day.
    Everyday and always.

    Quote Originally Posted by Telstra View Post
    lol, mostly are no hot no talk
    ^^^this

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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by DragononFire View Post
    Must I continue to impress people to be accepted? It's not that I have issues with making friends and talking to people, it's just an issue when my side is the only one communicating.
    That statement right there is the key. You are trying too hard. That shows desperation. Don't worry about impressing people. Don't demand they hold up "their end" of the conversation. You stress too much over it and it comes through. People pick up on this stuff, even if they don't understand what it is that makes them uncomfortable around you. They get scared off, pushed away.... however you want to say it. But the point is it comes from your need for them to behave according to your subconscious desires.

    The disabilities I have are panic attacks, post-op pain and chronic GERD. They kind of bounce off each other. I haven't left my house in months because of the pain and the searing pain of GERD. I take medications for it all but it's not as effective now as it once was. I get panic attacks without even thinking about it or feeling bad, so it's a constant struggle.
    What are the stressors of your panic attacks? What types of situations brings them on?
    It's never too early in the year,
    to spread some goodwill cheer!

  37. #37
    DragononFire
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by Willie Boy View Post
    That statement right there is the key. You are trying too hard. That shows desperation. Don't worry about impressing people. Don't demand they hold up "their end" of the conversation. You stress too much over it and it comes through. People pick up on this stuff, even if they don't understand what it is that makes them uncomfortable around you. They get scared off, pushed away.... however you want to say it. But the point is it comes from your need for them to behave according to your subconscious desires.



    What are the stressors of your panic attacks? What types of situations brings them on?
    I don't expect or ask much from anyone, just someone faithful and can hold a good, mature conversation with me. I have grown up believing that maybe I was just meant to be alone or was born to be socially awkward and unwanted. That is why I try so hard, because I don't want to accept that fate. I am not even sure what really causes my panic attacks, they just come on without warning. I used to love going out to shop, I love shopping, but I can't even do that now and I am not even qualmed by the thought of shopping, my body must be though however. I am on Lexapro for the anxiety but it doesn't help without the added Xanax, which the doctor took me off of abruptly. I was fine until I was taken off Xanax.

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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by DragononFire View Post
    I don't expect or ask much from anyone, just someone faithful and can hold a good, mature conversation with me. I have grown up believing that maybe I was just meant to be alone or was born to be socially awkward and unwanted. That is why I try so hard, because I don't want to accept that fate.
    You have created a self fulfilling prophecy there. You fear to be alone so you try to prove yourself worthy. But that only comes across as being clingy/needy and pushes away those you hope to "impress". If you wouldn't try so hard, and just went about being you and enjoying yourself people would be interested.

    I am not even sure what really causes my panic attacks, they just come on without warning.
    Does it only happen in situations where you'll be around strangers? Or when faced with large groups (10+) of people? There has to be something, even if you haven't noticed what yet. From now on when you first start to feel the panic attack, look around and take notice of everything you can. Once you learn exactly what brings on the panic attacks you'll start being able to better deal with the situations.

    I am on Lexapro for the anxiety but it doesn't help without the added Xanax, which the doctor took me off of abruptly. I was fine until I was taken off Xanax.
    Was the Xanax causing any side effects? Doctors don't do that sort of thing without good reason.
    It's never too early in the year,
    to spread some goodwill cheer!

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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Am I an oddball for scanning meticulously through every post and still don't get the OP's message?
    come now, my child. if we were planning to harm you, do you think
    we'd be lurking here beside the path in the darkest part of the forest?

  40. #40
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by freefall View Post
    Am I an oddball for scanning meticulously through every post and still don't get the OP's message?
    No!

    The pedantic personality prefers to view life through a lens that focuses on their perceptions, their needs assuming that the world must fit in with their understandings. As other posters here have already noted the OP would benefit immensely by eradicating all preconceived ideas, by jumping in the deep end with a view to enjoying life rather, than assuming that his life must fit into a pattern that addresses his fears, and obsessive need to be reaffirmed by his peers.

    I"ll quote words of wisdom that resonate with those anxious to escape from their cell of self imposed unhappiness:

    Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.

  41. #41
    DragononFire
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by Willie Boy View Post
    You have created a self fulfilling prophecy there. You fear to be alone so you try to prove yourself worthy. But that only comes across as being clingy/needy and pushes away those you hope to "impress". If you wouldn't try so hard, and just went about being you and enjoying yourself people would be interested.


    Does it only happen in situations where you'll be around strangers? Or when faced with large groups (10+) of people? There has to be something, even if you haven't noticed what yet. From now on when you first start to feel the panic attack, look around and take notice of everything you can. Once you learn exactly what brings on the panic attacks you'll start being able to better deal with the situations.


    Was the Xanax causing any side effects? Doctors don't do that sort of thing without good reason.
    Who doesn't want to fit in? I am usually lenient and let people come to me nowadays. It's just with certain people that I have an issue with when they ignore me or act shady towards me. I don't obsess over it, but I will admit I do get upset about that but who wouldn't? I just don't want to be blamed for being like that, like "how dare he?" when everyone else would be upset about it too.

    I am fine around strangers, or otherwise I would never ever go out on public. I think it's nerves but more of a physical nerve issue than a mental one. I wish dealing with it were that easy but I have exhausted myself trying to get my mind to calm down my body. It's very tiring and I end up being lethargic all the time from fighting back nausea and pain with my brain. No, no side effects. If anything, the panic attacks were at bay with both it and the Lexapro.

    Quote Originally Posted by freefall View Post
    Am I an oddball for scanning meticulously through every post and still don't get the OP's message?
    I don't expect you to really understand. As long as you're not one of those who comes onto people's threads and tries to stir up drama for some unknown reason to get everyone fought up.

    Quote Originally Posted by kallipolis View Post
    No!

    The pedantic personality prefers to view life through a lens that focuses on their perceptions, their needs assuming that the world must fit in with their understandings. As other posters here have already noted the OP would benefit immensely by eradicating all preconceived ideas, by jumping in the deep end with a view to enjoying life rather, than assuming that his life must fit into a pattern that addresses his fears, and obsessive need to be reaffirmed by his peers.

    I"ll quote words of wisdom that resonate with those anxious to escape from their cell of self imposed unhappiness:

    Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.
    That's quite a long stretch to assume about someone you don't even know anything about. You don't know me, my thoughts, my feelings, my intentions, my desires, my heartache, my life for that matter. You don't know what's happened to me to make me the way I am, or what I'm not.

  42. #42
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by DragononFire View Post
    That's quite a long stretch to assume about someone you don't even know anything about. You don't know me, my thoughts, my feelings, my intentions, my desires, my heartache, my life for that matter. You don't know what's happened to me to make me the way I am, or what I'm not.
    You've been very verbal over the last few days telling us in great detail about your fears, your aspirations with the further thought, that your dialogue here has been initiated by you to learn how better to deal with your challenges....defensive replies that reject any thought that you are the causation of your unhappiness might well suggest that you have not reached the awareness that your issues are self imposed.....

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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Slightly off topic,no Dr would abruptly stop your script for sleeping aids without a very good reason. Were you taking more than the prescribed dose?
    As for Kallipolis,his observations are both very well "informed" as well as spot-on.
    I noticed that you have made another thread,very similar to the ask me anything one. Are you having any kind of therapy for your emotional state?

    I am going to be blunt,you are trying to hard and to fast,members have already stated that "posting" on various topics gives both us and you a chance to fathom out you as more than a member who seems to hold and see the World through one dimensional glasses.

  44. #44
    DragononFire
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by kallipolis View Post
    You've been very verbal over the last few days telling us in great detail about your fears, your aspirations with the further thought, that your dialogue here has been initiated by you to learn how better to deal with your challenges....defensive replies that reject any thought that you are the causation of your unhappiness might well suggest that you have not reached the awareness that your issues are self imposed.....
    I can't be blamed for everyone's problems with me, whether they be real or perceived, that's just unrealistic and quite arrogant of the other parties. I can and will take responsibility for things I brought on myself but I will not carry the weight of the other people who were too immature, vain and stuck in their own worlds to even get to know and understand me.

  45. #45
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Being on display can be difficult, especially when one has mentioned phobias and other anxiety.

    Maybe the OP might consider simply waiting longer to respond rather than being dragged into defensive rebuttals. If a member posts something that doesn't seem relevant or accurate, let it lie rather than getting tangled up in it.

    Of course, just a suggestion. I think you have made good gains in sharing. I'd hate to see it lost in a tussle that is not the point of engaging new friends here.
    There are TWO kinds of people in the world -- the kind who believe there are two kinds of people, and the kind who don't.

  46. #46
    DragononFire
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by medic1 View Post
    Slightly off topic,no Dr would abruptly stop your script for sleeping aids without a very good reason. Were you taking more than the prescribed dose?
    As for Kallipolis,his observations are both very well "informed" as well as spot-on.
    I noticed that you have made another thread,very similar to the ask me anything one. Are you having any kind of therapy for your emotional state?

    I am going to be blunt,you are trying to hard and to fast,members have already stated that "posting" on various topics gives both us and you a chance to fathom out you as more than a member who seems to hold and see the World through one dimensional glasses.
    Xanax is not for sleep, it's for anxiety, or at least that's why I was put on it. They have never told me why they took me off it. I take the pills are prescribed and have been without Xanax for several weeks. I am not in any therapy, I am left to deal with my emotions on my own. I know how to handle them but it would be nice to have someone who understood them and didn't see it as "attention seeking" or making it look like something it's not. I know how the world works, and maybe I just don't know or want to deal with that but I know how it works.

  47. #47
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by DragononFire View Post
    I can't be blamed for everyone's problems with me, whether they be real or perceived, that's just unrealistic and quite arrogant of the other parties. I can and will take responsibility for things I brought on myself but I will not carry the weight of the other people who were too immature, vain and stuck in their own worlds to even get to know and understand me.
    Medic has also noted your reference to your physician removing you from Xanax a cause of concern for the professional health provider

    for your practical guidance you may care to note the following...cardiac arrest being of personal concern to my specialisation:

    http://www.cchrint.org/psychiatric-d...axsideeffects/

    Meantime, your observations on the behaviour of other people, is duly noted.

  48. #48
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by DragononFire;9178891[B
    ]Xanax is not for sleep, it's for anxiety[/B], or at least that's why I was put on it. They have never told me why they took me off it. I take the pills are prescribed and have been without Xanax for several weeks. I am not in any therapy, I am left to deal with my emotions on my own. I know how to handle them but it would be nice to have someone who understood them and didn't see it as "attention seeking" or making it look like something it's not. I know how the world works, and maybe I just don't know or want to deal with that but I know how it works.
    Medic is well aware of that fact but Xanax also contributes to better sleep patterns....by reducing anxiety.

    A physician will ensure that he weans a patient off Xanax dependency ....slowly.

  49. #49
    DragononFire
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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by kallipolis View Post
    Medic has also noted your reference to your physician removing you from Xanax a cause of concern for the professional health provider

    for your practical guidance you may care to note the following...cardiac arrest being of personal concern to my specialisation:

    http://www.cchrint.org/psychiatric-d...axsideeffects/

    Meantime, your observations on the behaviour of other people, is duly noted.
    Like I said, they never told me why they took me off of it, but who needs a reason for things anymore? I don't know how else I'll get by without something to suppress my nerves so I can go out in public again. That last part, I cannot tell you, the people in question only have those answers.

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    Re: Odd anti-social behavior

    But,do you know how to handle them? From your posting history it would seem not,as for Xanax it is used as a sleeping aid,Diazepam is more than likely the drug prescribed for anxiety. And even then for as short a period as possible.
    Your reply to my post would suggest that you do not know how to "handle" your emotions without some sort of counseling.

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