Hello, I'm going to post this here to see other people's thoughts.
Over the past year since starting college Fall 2012 I've been exploring my sexuality and meeting new people through "hook-up" sites: Adam4Adam, Grindr, etc, etc. About nine months ago I met a really cool guy, I'll call him "Guy." At first it was mostly sex,both of us were looking for more than just that; however, neither of us was looking specifically for an LTR, as I thought I wasn't experienced enough emotionally and socially (I have high-functioning Autism), and Guy had his reasons. Friends with benefits type of thing was/is our ideal. Guy is much older than me (I'm 20, was 19) guy will be 53 in a few weeks, although he very much looks as if he could be in his 30's. Guy was also married before, and has kids a few years older than me. I started visiting guy every week after a few times meeting. So for the past eight months or so, excepting a week here or there I've seen Guy every week. When summer came, I would spend every weekend with Guy. Then, I was looking for an apartment for the new semester, and Guy offered for me to live with him. The arrangement is great, and we get along excellently. I have not had sex with anybody else for the last seven months, although Guy and I have threesomes from time to time. When I first met Guy I liked everything about him, he is sexy, intelligent, has a nice personality, is easy to get along with, is caring, and he likes me a lot. I thought it was the feeling of "infatuation" at first, and figured that after a while it would dwindle. Instead, I've grown to like him even more, and I think it is a certain type of love I have for him. I'm sure he has similar feelings for me from many of the things he's said to me.
Our arrangement from the start has been a pragmatically-flawed one though, especially considering the age difference we have. We weren't looking for an LTR, but will remain life-time friends. I might be leaving to graduate school in a few years, and he has plans to move down south to get away from the cold winters. But, I just can't help to think about when our paths diverge and feel a painful feeling. We are very close now, more than I've been with anybody in my life, including family members, and I just don't know how to proceed. I write this, because after a day of Guy going away on a trip, he messaged me, very sincerely, that he misses me and I have a very similar emotion for him. As a pragmatic person though, I don't think an LTR could work because of our age difference and all that comes with it: different progression in life, difference in years before death by longevity, a history of a family vs. a newbie to the world, etc, etc.
Up until now, I've felt to let things go naturally, but there is a specific uncertainty that puts me off the more nature pushes me and him together and the fear that it could end very abruptly and suddenly. I can't feel comfortable and fully happy with this uncertainty.
Thank you for reading this, and any responses you might pose.