or at least I think i am. a little background:
i've been friends with him for 8 years. we met over a mutual interest and bonded over a lot of shared passions & interests. he's straight but was curious about gay stuff. we'd cuddle a lot & were make out buddies for a good while. we did some other stuff too but it never went past bj's. Then a few years back he moved away & we were still close but didn't see each other as much as before and we still don't sadly. I see him, maybe 5 times a year. but we text & skype and talk a ton so it's not like anything has really changed on that front.
he's engaged now and when I found out it really KILLED me. i never thought of him that way before romantically but I have been recently. I'm not sure if it's just me missing him or if it's more. i'm gonna be seeing him again in january and I'm a bit nervous. i don't really even know why..because it's never been weird before, but I don't want to say or do something stupid and mess our friendship up.
wow, this just sounds like late night ramblings! haha I'll sleep on it and maybe post some more background in the AM. am I just overthinking things like I think that i am?