Ok, so I am finding it impossible to be happy. Long story short, I keep going through cycles that I haven't ever gotten out of. I'm gay and have always been into really buff guys, they don't have to look like Arnold or anything, but I like a lot of muscle. I really want that physique for myself, but rarely have motivation to work out. and when I do, it's not enough to put the hours in to get that kind of body. To tell the truth I don't want to be that big of a slave to the gym, but I want the body.
I'm thin, except for kind of having a pot belly. It's not that bad, but I've been called chubby before by a gay guy, to which all my straight friends thought he was out of my mind. The truth is tho, I am not in shape enough for gay culture. I am also picky and have not even dated for the past 2 years. I've had plenty of fun along the way tho, hooking up with guys who just want to play but probably wouldn't stick around to pursue anything serious.
So I've begun hooking up more. I always feel like crap afterwards so I lie around at home afterwards and eat crap. I don't think it effects my physique that much because I have a really high metabolism, and I should be a lot fatter than I am based on my intake. But I still can't shake the desire to get buff, then I'd finally land a hot guy for good. But I also don't want to be a sellout. What do I do?