Anyone else struggle with it?
Like I wish the best for everyone, I really do, but sometimes I just get so jealous of folks who have the things I want (and can never attain).
Tonight, I'm out with my friends at a gay bar to celebrate one of my friend's birthday. My very close friend and roommate (straight guy, but has been to gay bars plenty of times with either me or other gay friends) says to me that this bar is annoying him because he "keeps getting hit on."
I then roll my eyes, turn to him and say "Well if only you were me. Then you'd never get hit on."
Just the idea that something like that could come as an inconvenience to someone irked me. When I know that just feeling that attractive for even a day--hell an hour--would be such a huge uplift for me.
I feel like I'm constantly surrounding by wonderful people who look better, are better, have so much going for them. And I'm happy for them. But I'm so damn jealous.
How do I change that? How do I accept my role as the "ugly friend" without being jealous all the damn time?