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  1. #51
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    Re: Do you feel inadequate?

    A better question would be, "do I ever feel adequate"? I feel inadequate every day of my life. I'm ugly, old, worn out, flabby, broke, poor personality, no talent, no education, no too intelligent, and a small penis as well. I knew many years ago that my life in this world was screwed...

  2. #52
    JUB Addict Taz's Avatar
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    Re: Do you feel inadequate?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post
    Your point?
    That if ou think all there is to love is face and penis then you're setting yourself up to feel that way.
    You show courage the brave dream of

    Gallop on my old warhorse

  3. #53
    TheSpectatingLoner
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    Re: Do you feel inadequate?

    Oh there's plenty more to love. But you can likely get that plenty more from someone who has amazing qualities AND doesn't have both a hideous face and small penis.

    Short story: I still fall behind the pack and I'm still inadequate.

  4. #54
    JUB Addict Taz's Avatar
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    Re: Do you feel inadequate?

    If you say so.
    You show courage the brave dream of

    Gallop on my old warhorse

  5. #55
    JUB Addict cgymike's Avatar
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    Re: Do you feel inadequate?

    Quote Originally Posted by birddog7 View Post
    A better question would be, "do I ever feel adequate"? I feel inadequate every day of my life. I'm ugly, old, worn out, flabby, broke, poor personality, no talent, no education, no too intelligent, and a small penis as well. I knew many years ago that my life in this world was screwed...
    Yeah but you have friends.
    Your post comments are forwarded to the CIA.

  6. #56
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    Re: Do you feel inadequate?

    Quote Originally Posted by cgymike View Post
    Yeah but you have friends.
    No, I don't have any friends. Everything I do, I do alone...

  7. #57
    Elderhostile Gay Dejavudoo's Avatar
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    Re: Do you feel inadequate?

    Birdman, that is your choice. To have a friend, you must be one.

    When I yet lived in a small country town, I had old friends, young friends, coworkers, neighbors, and whatnot.

    Make bread and take it to a neighbor. Ask someone over to play cards. Find people walking on the road for their health and chat. Participate in some club or charity that helps others.

    Step one: meet people. Step two: grow friendships.

    I'm not saying it is easy to change old habits, but it is always an option. What have you tried?
    Last edited by Dejavudoo; October 19th, 2013 at 09:38 AM.
    There are TWO kinds of people in the world -- the kind who believe there are two kinds of people, and the kind who don't.

  8. #58

    Re: Do you feel inadequate?

    You show me a gay man who says he feels adequate, and I will show you a liar. Gay man have the biggest self image problems of all because they try hardest to look perfect.

  9. #59
    panegyric JUB Admin Corny's Avatar
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    Re: Do you feel inadequate?

    ^ that's weird, how come one usually stumbles about guys who have a ridiculously exaggerated self-image? after your logic they may not be gay
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  10. #60

    Re: Do you feel inadequate?

    Quote Originally Posted by Corny View Post
    how come one usually stumbles about guys who have a ridiculously exaggerated self-image?
    I don't see how that refutes my point. Guys who do that ^ are only showing how inadequate they feel compared to those guys. And whatever the topic, you can know that whenever anyone tries too hard to be good enough, they don't feel good enough. Whatever the scenario, it's not good reasoning for decision making.
    Last edited by Cumlaskan; October 19th, 2013 at 01:18 PM.

  11. #61
    JUB Addict m1thousand's Avatar
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    Re: Do you feel inadequate?

    Birddog,
    Every post you make is negative. Do you expect anyone wants to be around that? I understand what it's like to feel crappy. But if you / I / anyone else doesnt try to be pleasant, that person won't attract anything but what they give out.

  12. #62
    The gay gargoyle
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    Re: Do you feel inadequate?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cumlaskan View Post
    You show me a gay man who says he feels adequate, and I will show you a liar. Gay man have the biggest self image problems of all because they try hardest to look perfect.
    Anybody looking at me would tell you I don't try at all to look "perfect". I've even put off getting my hair cut the last three weeks just because I've been either too busy or too lazy. (The place I get my hair cut is roughly fifty steps from my door.) And yeah, that means I'm not as attractive as I could be. But I feel totally "adequate". No, not every guy wants to have sex with me. But that's always been the case. And the ones that ARE interested in me...are interested in no small part BECAUSE I'm so at peace with myself.

    Lex

  13. #63
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    Re: Do you feel inadequate?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cumlaskan View Post
    You show me a gay man who says he feels adequate, and I will show you a liar. Gay man have the biggest self image problems of all because they try hardest to look perfect.
    Thanks for your opinion new person - thank hell you're wrong.

  14. #64
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
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    Re: Do you feel inadequate?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cumlaskan View Post
    You show me a gay man who says he feels adequate, and I will show you a liar. Gay man have the biggest self image problems of all because they try hardest to look perfect.
    Well, I think you're full of it, and I am so convinced of that I should let you know my entire self-esteem from this moment forward depends on proving you wrong.
    Americans need to keep their guns so they can protect themselves from gun violence just like Nancy Lanza did. And like Chris Kyle did. And like Gabby Giffords did. And like Tom Clements did. And like Michael Piemonte. And Joseph Wilcox.

  15. #65

    Re: Do you feel inadequate?

    Quote Originally Posted by bankside View Post
    Well, I think you're full of it, and I am so convinced of that I should let you know my entire self-esteem from this moment forward depends on proving you wrong.
    The act of striving to prove me wrong, proves me right.

  16. #66
    Lil' Demon Beggar MakeDigitalLove's Avatar
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    Re: Do you feel inadequate?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cumlaskan View Post
    The act of striving to prove me wrong, proves me right.
    You dont have proof for your comments

  17. #67

    Re: Do you feel inadequate?

    You think most ppl would admit to feeling such things? What people say and how they feel aren't normally the same. But the harder someone tries to be accepted, in whatever way, gives insight into how much they think they need it.

  18. #68
    Lil' Demon Beggar MakeDigitalLove's Avatar
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    Re: Do you feel inadequate?

    So you don't have proof either then?

  19. #69
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    Re: Do you feel inadequate?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cumlaskan View Post
    You show me a gay man who says he feels adequate, and I will show you a liar. Gay man have the biggest self image problems of all because they try hardest to look perfect.
    You are so full of shit.

  20. #70

    Re: Do you feel inadequate?

    Quote Originally Posted by MakeDigitalLove View Post
    So you don't have proof either then?
    People don't have to say what they're really thinking for you to know what they're really thinking. Just watch how they live their life, and how much they try to prove themselves one way or the other.


    Quote Originally Posted by eastofeden View Post
    You are so full of shit.
    Not really. No one would argue that what happens to us affects us in one way or the other right? Well I am arguing that porn has over saturated the gay culture to such an extent, the majority of gay guys have a heard time living in these guys' shadow, so they bust their ass in the gym 6 days a week trying to look hot and prove themselves to somebody. It makes me mad because the more shallow our culture gets, the more conditional love is based on one's appearance.

    Say whatever you like, but I have traveled extensively, and it's the same everywhere. It's not hard to get a guy in bed with for a fling, even if he says he's committed to someone else. Most guys are for it anyway, and know nothing about loyalty. As soon as the going gets tough they run off to find a new model that can give them the fuzzies.
    Last edited by Cumlaskan; October 19th, 2013 at 06:58 PM.

  21. #71
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    Re: Do you feel inadequate?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cumlaskan View Post
    People don't have to say what they're really thinking for you to know what they're really thinking. Just watch how they live their life, and how much they try to prove themselves one way or the other.




    Not really. No one would argue that what happens to us affects us in one way or the other right? Well I am arguing that porn has over saturated the gay culture to such an extent, the majority of gay guys have a heard time living in these guys' shadow, so they bust their ass in the gym 6 days a week trying to look hot and prove themselves to somebody. It makes me mad because the more shallow our culture gets, the more conditional love is based on one's appearance.

    Say whatever you like, but I have traveled extensively, and it's the same everywhere. It's not hard to get a guy in bed with for a fling, even if he says he's committed to someone else. Most guys are for it anyway, and know nothing about loyalty. As soon as the going gets tough they run off to find a new model that can give them the fuzzies.


    I am a gay man...and I do NOT see myself through anyone else's eyes.

    of course....if you compare yourself to other people you will always come up short but that is not a gay thing...it is a human thing...

    ...but if you think you speak for everyone...or that everyone thinks as you do...you are simply full of shit. You certainly do not speak for me. To say that any gay man who feels adequate is lying is complete bullshit.

    I am not into false images of beauty nor do I let anyone else define beauty for me. It bores me..always has.

  22. #72
    JUB Addict m1thousand's Avatar
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    Re: Do you feel inadequate?


  23. #73

    Re: Do you feel inadequate?

    Quote Originally Posted by eastofeden View Post
    I am a gay man...and I do NOT see myself through anyone else's eyes.
    You're not going to like this, but that's what's a load of crap. We all see ourself through other's people's eyes. It's impossible not to unless you keep people far enough away at an arm's length. Maybe you used to let other's ppl's opinion of you affect you, maybe you still struggle with it. Someone telling me they don't see themself through anyone else's eyes is like telling me they can breath underwater. We all think we're better than the next guy. I definitely can believe it's something you don't do much anymore. But I don't believe you never do it. And I'm sure you've been affected by it in the past, as has anyone.

    I'm uber skeptical of those who act like their ahead of the curve when it come to basic human social behavior. You have the luxury of saying whatever you want, because none of us can read your mind. But human behavior shows us were all in the same boat. Some people are just better at putting on a front than others are.
    Last edited by Cumlaskan; October 19th, 2013 at 07:42 PM.

  24. #74
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    Re: Do you feel inadequate?

    I see a lot of strawmen and semantics. Lovely.

    Oh well, one day you'll get that everyone is not you.

  25. #75
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    Re: Do you feel inadequate?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cumlaskan View Post
    You're not going to like this, but that's what's a load of crap. We all see ourself through other's people's eyes. It's impossible not to unless you keep people far enough away at an arm's length. Maybe you used to let other's ppl's opinion of you affect you, maybe you still struggle with it. Someone telling me they don't see themself through anyone else's eyes is like telling me they can breath underwater. We all think we're better than the next guy. I definitely can believe it's something you don't do much anymore. But I don't believe you never do it. And I'm sure you've been affected by it in the past, as has anyone.
    I love that you think you know me better than I know myself...but please feel free to keep telling yourself that. It's your mind to waste.

  26. #76

    Re: Do you feel inadequate?

    I never said I know you better than you know yourself. But, you've never let anyone's opinion of you affect you? Never, ever? And you've now reached the pinnacle of human existence where it's impossible for other people's opinion of you to affect you? You expect anyone to believe that?
    Last edited by Cumlaskan; October 19th, 2013 at 07:48 PM.

  27. #77
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    Re: Do you feel inadequate?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cumlaskan View Post
    I never said I know you better than you know yourself. But, you've never let anyone's opinion of you affect you? Never, ever? And you've now reached the pinnacle of human existence where it's impossible for other people's opinion of you to affect you? You expect anyone to believe that?
    ...and just so you remember the point I am arguing....THIS is what you said: You show me a gay man who says he feels adequate, and I will show you a liar. Gay man have the biggest self image problems of all because they try hardest to look perfect.

    I promise you with every fiber of my being I never once "tried to look perfect". I did however grow up with a pair of assholes who did exactly that 24/7 so I learned from their bad behavior what never to become. I think you would have liked them and they would have adored you...you are their kind of guy.

    I really hate it when anyone paints gay people with a broad brush...ESPECIALLY when it is another gay person. I do apologize (to myself) for not ignoring your bullshit...I wish I would have. Not many personality types can really get to me...but yours can. I gotta work on that.

  28. #78
    Lil' Demon Beggar MakeDigitalLove's Avatar
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    Re: Do you feel inadequate?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cumlaskan View Post
    People don't have to say what they're really thinking for you to know what they're really thinking. Just watch how they live their life, and how much they try to prove themselves one way or the other.
    You can't really base opinions on peoples lives when you're only seeing such a small portion of it. Some times people are actually honest about what they're thinking.

  29. #79
    TheSpectatingLoner
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    Re: Do you feel inadequate?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cumlaskan View Post
    The act of striving to prove me wrong, proves me right.
    "Striving"? He made a simple comment. Not that serious.

  30. #80
    The gay gargoyle
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    Re: Do you feel inadequate?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cumlaskan View Post
    People don't have to say what they're really thinking for you to know what they're really thinking. Just watch how they live their life, and how much they try to prove themselves one way or the other.
    We had a guy here for awhile. His pet theory was that nearly every man was gay. Not "a little bi", not "maybe he'll let you suck him off after ten drinks" - gay. And of course, it was all completely obvious if you just looked for it. Why would any man be friends with a gay man unless he were gay himself? ("Like attracts like", as he enjoyed pointing out.) And why would any man NOT be friends with a gay man unless he were gay himself? (Scared of dealing with his own sexuality, you see.)

    We started compiling a list with him of "signs a guy is gay and closeted" - assigning positive scores for "positive signs" and negative ones for negative. It was more a joke on his end, but he was quite serious about it. And guess what? There wasn't a single trait we could come up with that he felt deserved a negative score. From the car you drive to the music you listen to, whether it's a gay stereotype or not, it's all a clear sign that you like-y the dick-y.

    He began staging mini-interventions for his "clearly-gay-but-closeted" friends, begging them to break up with their wives and girlfriends and live "as they really were". He was pretty bummed, because "apparently they all choose the closet and fake-normalcy to facing the truth." And he got quite defensive whenever somebody questioned that hey, maybe some of these guys were actually straight. "Oh, so you think nobody lives in the closet? You jusr believe everything guys tell you? Cone on - I was there. I KNOW what they're doing."

    I'm sensing a kinship here.

    Do I care about how I'm viewed by others? Sure. Even when I buy my T-shirts with oddball cartoon characters on them, I'm hoping other people like them. And I spill ketchup on the one I'm wearing at home, I change before I go out. (If I truly didn't care, I presumably would leave it on.) But I think that's kind of par for the course for people in general, and I don't think it indicates a self-image problem on my part. Do gay guys have self-image problems more often than straight guys? Can't say. Yeah, I've seen some gay guys at clubs or the gym who seem to be doing some major over-compensating, but I could go down the block and see straight men and women doing the same thing.

    Lex

  31. #81

    Re: Do you feel inadequate?

    It's hard not to come here and not being preachy..

    but I have one thing to say:



    more?...

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