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  1. #1

    Tentatively Accepting I Am Bi

    Ok so I decided to go backpacking at the start of this year to get away from my best mate I had a crush on (nobody knew except 1 person).

    9 months later and I think I have a crush on my mate who I have travelled with lol. Well we were having a great time hanging out and working until 2 things happened (we are in Sydney)
    1- I had to change job and my new one is shite
    2- He has started seeing a girl in literally all his spare time that he insists "is not his girlfriend" yet all he usually wants girls for is sex (shes holding back).

    So jist of it I am sat in all night at a hostel (where we live) on my own. I am a very shy person so find it hard to socialise so my friend is not very sympathetic and says he cannot expect me not to see her and sit in with me (reasonable? even once a week?)

    So fed up of arguing with my friend I have two options - go home or start trying to socialise. Now I would really like to go to a gay club since I am a city that nobody knows me in that I know stuff wont get reported back but I feel a little bit intimidated. Its not really even sex I want so much as somebody to hang out with that understands what I am going through.

    So two questions 1-) Advice for me about making those steps into clubs etc and 2-) anyone from Sydney on the forum?

    I don't really want to go back because Sydney is a great city to live and despite all our recent arguments me and my mate think the world of each other

  2. #2
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    Re: Tentatively Accepting I Am Bi

    My suggestions is to just go to a gay club and enjoy. I was also apprehensive the first time I went but later found it fun. I even met a guy who I made up with even though I wasn't intending to. I still don't go to gay clubs on a regular basis but it's always a fun place even if you're just gonna buy a drink and watch all the other guys kissing around you You might even get picked up what comes next is up to you.

    I also wasted a lot of time watching Dan Savage and I was surprised to find out, according to him, that bi guys are usually on a phase, sooner or later they will either go full on gay or marry a girl and settle down and raise a typical family. So there you go. Have a great time at the club and enjoy. You might find a new friend or friends in the process.

    Good luck!

  3. #3
    JUB Addict journo25's Avatar
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    Re: Tentatively Accepting I Am Bi

    Go to the club. Hang out. Don't put pressure on yourself to do anything. Chat and be sociable. Finally, stop moping/obsessing about your friend.

  4. #4
    nerd of prey hylas's Avatar
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    Re: Tentatively Accepting I Am Bi

    Personally, I hate going to the club alone. Maybe you can find somebody online to go to a club with? Just state clearly what you're after in your profile (eg "Right now, I'm *not* looking to hook up, I'm just looking to meet new people to go clubbing with.")

    (Yes, it's unreasonable for you to expect your secret crush to sit in with you. You're probably giving off weird vibes. Closeted guys often do, no offense.)

  5. #5

    Re: Tentatively Accepting I Am Bi

    What sort of sites would be best to sign up to considering I am in Sydney, Australia?

    And my friend did kind of pick up my vibes as being jealously that he is seeing a girl (that he refuses to call his girlfriend!) though I got him to believe that its not who he was seeing as the fact hes never around anymore.

  6. #6

    Re: Tentatively Accepting I Am Bi

    Hi I'm from Sydney but suspect I'm old enough to Be your grandfather , I'm way past the club scene but have you thought about a glbt social group ,lots out there and from my experience can be lots of fun and laughs . At least when people say hi you know there just being friendly and not trying to pick you up . Slightly off topic just a different approach to meet like minded people

  7. #7
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    Re: Tentatively Accepting I Am Bi

    Quote Originally Posted by dilemma View Post
    What sort of sites would be best to sign up to considering I am in Sydney, Australia?

    And my friend did kind of pick up my vibes as being jealously that he is seeing a girl (that he refuses to call his girlfriend!) though I got him to believe that its not who he was seeing as the fact hes never around anymore.
    grindr.

    a lot of guys on grindr are just looking for sex and if that's what you want, you'd have no problem of getting it. there are lots of guys on grindr that really only want to socialize also, so you can find them as well, what happens after that is totally up to you. grindr gets a bad rap but its only bad if you make it. you're an adult, think for yourself and act like an adult and look for other people who think and act like an adult who will treat you as an adult. whatever people say on this forum is only their opinion. some are good. some are bad but i think you are mature enough and intelligent enough to tell which is good for you.

    as always, if you're gonna enjoy yourself, just play safe and don't act stupid. no point endangering yourself or others.

    you can also try craigslist or 100 other forums, just make sure you're going with both eyes open.
    when in doubt, DON'T.

    i forgot to comment on your friend he's obviously in love with the girl. i know how it is to have a crush on someone and that someone not caring about the time of day about you. move on. treat him as a friend although i know it's emotionally difficult sometimes to disengage on a crush but move on and socialize with others. fuck around, safely, life's too short.
    Last edited by bruce379; October 18th, 2013 at 02:49 PM.

  8. #8
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Tentatively Accepting I Am Bi

    You can go out with Ravenstar on this site.
    I bet he'll let you sleep with him
    Last edited by Telstra; October 18th, 2013 at 02:47 PM.


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  9. #9

    Re: Tentatively Accepting I Am Bi

    I don't really know any sites lol have always tried to resist and hide the fact that I am gay but have come to the conclusion now I am a city the other side of the world from home with a friend whos AWOL that it is a probably a good time to take the risk. Will check out Grindr

  10. #10

    Re: Tentatively Accepting I Am Bi

    Just noticed Grindr is a mobile only site? That's a bit risky for me in case my friend goes on my phone!

  11. #11
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    Re: Tentatively Accepting I Am Bi

    Quote Originally Posted by dilemma View Post
    Just noticed Grindr is a mobile only site? That's a bit risky for me in case my friend goes on my phone!
    I think you got it wrong. If you go on grindr and you see his profile on grindr then it's like hitting the jackpot on your friend coz he's looking for the same thing obviously. Plus a phone is as private as a toothbrush. Why would he be looking at your phone?

    Go on Craigslist that way it's more anonymous and you'd have more control.
    By the way, I was on grindr one time and I saw my straight friend in there lol. Well that cat got out of his bag we both knew then that each other liked guys but since he wasn't my type it was more of a don't ask don't tell situation. I just blocked him so there wouldn't be any awkward moments. I have seen so many so-called straight friends of mine trolling on grindr. Some of them I've gone with to gay bars after that realization. Unfortunately/fortunately none of them were my type. I also had a boss who had his face plastered on his grindr profile everybody seems to be civil about it going about their regular business as if nothing happened. Which is good.

    So if you want to have total control of the situation, go on craigslist. If you only want to get laid or close to it, go to adam for adam. If you want to hit on the nearest guy out there, there's an app for that , actually a lot of apps for that.
    Last edited by bruce379; October 27th, 2013 at 11:14 AM.

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