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  1. #1

    Is my relationship doomed?

    I've been in a relationship with a guy 4 years younger than me for almost 2 years. Lately all I can think about is having sex with guys that are much different than him. Mainly older guys.

    Is this just a fantasy or is it my brain telling me im not ready to settle down? I'm not really sure what I should do.

  2. #2
    Do I dare to eat a peach?
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    Re: Is my relationship doomed?

    Welcome to JUB!

    Without more information I can't really help you with your question.

  3. #3
    Slut HorndogPaul's Avatar
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    Re: Is my relationship doomed?

    Yeah definitely share more info!

    Like is there other problems happening in the relationship? Do you fantasize of others guys while having sex with him? If so do u have to fantasize about them to get off? Etc.
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  4. #4
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    Re: Is my relationship doomed?

    I don't have enough information so I have to ask...what does your image of love and relationships look like? How do you define "love"?

    When you are in a relationship...do you expect yourself to not think of other guys? If so...why? What does it mean when you think of other guys? What would it mean to you if your BF thought of other guys? Do you think he could still love you and lust after other men?

    Sorry...sometimes I think questions are better than answers.

  5. #5

    Re: Is my relationship doomed?

    IMO being in a relationship doesn't mean you're dead... no matter whom you're with, you'll always find others attractive.

    However... being in an adult, committed relationship means you've made a conscious decision to remain faithful to the one you chose to be in a relationship with. Ideally, you have enough honesty and communication that you can openly share your fantasies with each other without jealousy and resentment, and ideally the fantasies don't interfere with the relationship.

    Talking about your fantasies could open a whole new level of excitement between you and your BF.
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  6. #6
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    Re: Is my relationship doomed?

    ^ Borg offers some good advice here. Rather than panicking and feeling that your relationship is over, why don't you talk about your feelings with your boyfriend?
    #439th oldest member on JUB.

  7. #7
    I'm now a grandfather! JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
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    Re: Is my relationship doomed?

    With what you've written you have probably described every relationship since the beginning of time. Most of us would be more sexual with more people if there weren't consequences.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

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    Re: Is my relationship doomed?

    I‘d say it's perfectly normal to fantasize about other dudes.
    Don't be ashamed.
    You didn't say much about your relationship, but considering your seeking advice, clearly there is something holding you back from ending it.
    Basically, it isn't doomed.
    Word of caution?
    Don't let these fantasies turn into infidelity.

    I'd suggest bringing them up with your guy.
    See what he's open to.
    It's important to feel comfortable talking about these things.
    Find a way to get to that point.

  9. #9
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    Re: Is my relationship doomed?

    There is nothing wrong with looking at other eye candy. It's human nature to do so. Now, if you are actually talking to older guys about wanting to do stuff with them before talking with your BF, I'd be a bit more alarmed.

    Course, we can give all the advice in the world but the reality is, you need to talk to your BF about your "fantasies". Only he can help you solve this problem.

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