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Thread: I Need A Answer

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    I Need A Answer

    I need a answer

    my friend and I have been close for 4 years and have always been comfortable and close with one another. He is not homophobic yet very very self aware of what people think of him and is scared of being judged. So jhe puts on the straightest act possible, even outing me when I told him I thought I could be Bi. After he exposed me 6 months of me ignoring him, has led us here, we see eachother here and there because he does live far enough away, yet close enough for it to work. I want something to happen he has hinted towards maybe being bi as well. We j/o a ton, together as well different couches always though. We even fucked this girl together. Nothings ever weird with us but i'm worried to ruin the friendship yet it's getting to the point I dont wanna be just friends anymore at all....so what do I do??????????????????

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    Execuvette Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Re: I Need A Answer

    Your friend is not worth the attention. There's no greater betrayal of trust than ousting a friend who trusted you. Also if he's not out, then he's not available for anything, unless you're willing to compromise your dignity. He's clearly not ready for anything that doesn't give him deniability. Do you want to be the shameful secret of someone who didn't even care about you to respect your trust in him?

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    Re: I Need A Answer

    Quote Originally Posted by Rolyo85 View Post
    Your friend is not worth the attention. There's no greater betrayal of trust than ousting a friend who trusted you. Also if he's not out, then he's not available for anything, unless you're willing to compromise your dignity. He's clearly not ready for anything that doesn't give him deniability. Do you want to be the shameful secret of someone who didn't even care about you to respect your trust in him?
    You are so right....i just feel too happy with him, everything makes sense and its like if we were dating it'd be perfect....the trust truly isnt all there but I want it to be....I wish I could

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    Execuvette Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Re: I Need A Answer

    Quote Originally Posted by usernamelol View Post
    You are so right....i just feel too happy with him, everything makes sense and its like if we were dating it'd be perfect....the trust truly isnt all there but I want it to be....I wish I could
    It already isn't making sense of you look at it from the outside. He's so scared of "the gay" that he OUSTED you.

    You can't date him. Not as he is now and possibly not for years to come. I'd direct my efforts toward finding guys who are out and not ashamed of who they are, and will treat you with actual respect.

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    Re: I Need A Answer

    I would never forgive something like that. Take off your rose-coloured glasses, he's scum. He betrays your trust, and you reward him with your affection? Have some dignity, man. Listen to some embarassing power-ballads, then go bang some other dudes; you'll be over him soon enough.

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    Re: I Need A Answer

    Quote Originally Posted by Rolyo85 View Post
    It already isn't making sense of you look at it from the outside. He's so scared of "the gay" that he OUSTED you.

    You can't date him. Not as he is now and possibly not for years to come. I'd direct my efforts toward finding guys who are out and not ashamed of who they are, and will treat you with actual respect.
    I believe everything you say, I just want to get some answers out of him like how he truly sees me and if theirs a possibility of anything happening I just have to find the words....

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    Re: I Need A Answer

    You're saying what's hard to admit but yes the kid may possibly be a shitty friend I just wish I knew how to tell them how I feel in hopes that can change things for the better....he seems to care about me but i dont even know you are so right someone who does that is just...sick..we were young tho so I'm just looking at the bright side of it all possibly......tried cutting him out, its impossible and that is a fact.

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    Re: I Need A Answer

    How old are you and how long out? Your Profile says out since 2015; it's only 2013. How can he have outed you if you're out? Would you want to be back in the closet?

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    Re: I Need A Answer

    Sarcsum saying i'm not out yet, because i'm not, nor plannin on it, we're both graduating highschool this year, so 18

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    Re: I Need A Answer

    He said the guy ousted him 6 months ago when he told him.

    To OP: there's nothing to find out. You already have all the answers from him. You just don't like them but I fear he's never actually going to verbalized them.

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    Do I dare to eat a peach?
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    Re: I Need A Answer

    @ OP: Your Profile says "Out Since (Year): 2015." But, "no one knows."

    I'm missing something here.

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    Re: I Need A Answer

    I guess knowing where it could go would be helpful, we don't text I never text him because I don't want him to assume I have feelings..I want to know if he'd try anything.

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    Re: I Need A Answer

    Don't stress over that, still not out he outted me....

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    Re: I Need A Answer

    He sounds like a cunt, tbaft.

    Stop wasting your time and go get some available cock.
    "You may only be one person to the world, but you may also be the world to one person"
    - anonymous quote.

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    Re: I Need A Answer

    Quote Originally Posted by usernamelol View Post
    Sarcsum saying i'm not out yet, because i'm not, nor plannin on it, we're both graduating highschool this year, so 18
    Yeah, I was thinking, this all sounds like a typical "closet crush". Take heart, we've all been there. Work on your coming out, and you'll soon see your silly obsession for what it is. If that's really you on your avatar, you'll get laid like cray-zay. (If not, you'll probably still get laid like cray-zay, cuz gay men are sluts.)

  16. #16

    Re: I Need A Answer

    Don't let yourself hang on to the fact that "you're just so happy with him". That is probably Closet Syndrome, he is the only guy which you came close to experiencing something therefore you're hanging on to him (because the idea of the experience pleases you, and you associate that with him). Fortunately for you, there are many other guys out there, so ditch him and good luck

    Ps. Just realized the guy above me says pretty much the same, doesn't hurt to have two voices saying that though

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    Re: I Need A Answer

    You've fuled the courage I need to continue on without thw thought of us working anytime soon, you are right I am blinded by the bubble surrouding my view on him, but it's such a thick strong bubble I've been so blind, yes that is me lmao hopfully you'rs right ))))))))

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    Re: I Need A Answer

    Yes, the part of him making me happy is so...huge. He's my best and only male friend i've had throught highschool and it's just so hard to let go of that because of the stupid thought of it happening is stuck in my head and the fact that it's not just looks, deff not. But you do make point's I haven't valued in the past, coming out is clearly the next step, and that, seems harder than hell, you're helping me much more than u know, it's given me anxiety and insomnia

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    Re: I Need A Answer

    I'll be your friend. I'm in Toront-hoe too.
    blacksyringe

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    Re: I Need A Answer

    Quote Originally Posted by usernamelol
    Nothings ever weird with us but i'm worried to ruin the friendship yet it's getting to the point I dont wanna be just friends anymore at all....so what do I do?
    At age um.. 18 and in high school, it seems like these guys that are "possibilities" are "the one". Most are not "the one". And with friends, the sex creates emotional complications that almost always ends with someone getting hurt.

    What do you do? You keep things as just friends until he grows up enough where he can be honest about being interested. He won't figure out whether he likes dick or pussy (or both) until he's out of high school and the pressure of being in high school is lessened. If that means putting distance between the two of you until you graduate in order for you to focus on high school and other important things, then that is what you do.

    Something else you can do is check out our sister site- Empty Closets- where there are more guys your age who can relate to what you're going through.

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    Re: I Need A Answer

    Find someone else with whom to be sexual. You have already wasted enough time.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

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