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  1. #1
    Slut dragon08's Avatar
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    So I wanna ask this guy out

    Ok so theres this guy I like and I'm thinking about asking him out but I want to give some backstory and see what you guys think about the entire situation.

    Ok So this guy is really good friends with the girls who live directly across the hall from me in my dorm. He lives in the same dorm as us but he just lives upstairs. I'm about 90% sure that he is gay. I'm also pretty sure that he knows I'm gay. I wear a rainbow bracelet, I'm the seceretary for the LGBT club, and I've had flyers for it on my door.

    I've caught him checking me out a few times, one time it was blatantly obvious and my straight guy friend even caught on. Me and my friend were walking to my dorm room and the guy was sitting on a couch we had to walk by I noticed that he was there because I felt someone looking at me and I looked at him and sure enough he was. We shared eye contact for a second, and I looked forward but he was still looking and even went so far as to turn his head towards me as I passed. I told my friend that I think he likes me and he even commented that he saw him looking.

    Another time I was writing something on the whiteboard on my door, and he walked out of his friends room and saw me. He just froze there when he saw me. Then he turned right around and was about to walk back inside his friends room, but I think his friends gave him shit nonverbally then he turned around again and walked out with his head down looking at the floor. I thought that it was the cutest thing ever.

    Ok so before I hadn't really done anything to encourage him or discourage him. I've made it a point to smile or wave at him when I see him around campus. I sent him a friend request on facebook to try to see if he would talk more in real life with me. We've never been formally introduced, I'm on small talk terms with his friends who live across from me. I've tried making small talk with him but he gets a little quiet or sometimes I think he makes it a point that he doesn't look at me to make it look like he's staring or too interested.

    I don't know much about his personality, I like the people he hangs out with but we haven't had much interaction ourselves.

    Anyways, I think I'm just gonna flat out ask him out. I'm just gonna go up to him when I see him, formally introduce myself, tell him that I think that he's cute, and that I'd like to take him on a date.

    I usually try to get talking with someone before I do anything but that doesn't really seem to work. My last boyfriend was the one who started talking with me.

    Ok so do you guys think that this is a good idea this is the first time that I just flat out ask someone without getting to know them first.

  2. #2
    Exoctic89
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    Re: So I wanna ask this guy out

    I say do it

  3. #3
    Porn Star aaggii's Avatar
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    Re: So I wanna ask this guy out

    Why wouldn´t it be? You could ask the girls that live across the hallfrom you if he´s gay, to be sure, I guess. ¨for a lgbt thing¨ if they get curious :P

    Did he accept your friend request? If so, talk to him there, maybe he´s too shy to even dare talking to you.
    ¨Beware the fury of a patient man¨ - John Dryden

  4. #4
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    Re: So I wanna ask this guy out

    Yah if there is obvious tension between you two I would just get it out in the open and ask him.

  5. #5
    Kien
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    Re: So I wanna ask this guy out

    Go for it! Getting to know someone is part of dating, even if you barely know much about him.

    If it turns out you don't find that you guys are compatible, then it is what it is. But at least you went for it

  6. #6
    JUB Addict jensu846's Avatar
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    Re: So I wanna ask this guy out

    No guts, No glory. do it.

  7. #7
    Slut dragon08's Avatar
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    Re: So I wanna ask this guy out

    Ok, yeah I'm just waiting to get the money to pay for the date then I'll ask him.

    He hasn't accepted nor denied the friend request. I'd rather ask and talk to him in person though.

  8. #8
    Slut dragon08's Avatar
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    Re: So I wanna ask this guy out

    The reason I'm asking is because a friend jokingly said after i told her i was frustrated that he gets shy that I should just go up to him and be like "you me Friday 8" of course i wouldn't be that blunt but it got me thinking that i could do something similar.

  9. #9

    Re: So I wanna ask this guy out

    You can take baby steps...

    Ask him out to coffee or lunch - something informal and casual and get a feel for him before asking him out on some romantic date.

    After spending 15 minutes with him he might not be someone you're even interested in. You can do this in smaller stages, it doesn't have to be some huge "All or Nothing" chunk.
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

  10. #10
    JUB Addict Craiger's Avatar
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    Re: So I wanna ask this guy out

    I agree with borg69unimatirix...wow, typing that just burned up my keyboard... Anyway, I also think a casual coffee would be more appropriate. Since you are seceretary for the LGBT club you can talk to him about that. Perhaps he would be interested in attending a meeting or event. By just being casual you would less likely get the shy response. If you were to propose a "date" or dinner you my find him overwhelmed and freaked out. If there is any chance that he does like you, being too forward may turn him off. Ask your dorm neighbor to introduce you at some point. Once the introduction occurs, you can go for coffee and get to know each other. Then nature can take it's course..... good luck.

    Craiger

  11. #11
    I'm now a grandfather! JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
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    Re: So I wanna ask this guy out

    The coffee idea is a great one. In the meantime you could be saving up for the 3rd or 4th date should they occur. Good luck!
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

  12. #12
    Slut dragon08's Avatar
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    Re: So I wanna ask this guy out

    The main purpose of the date for me is to see whether I like his personality as well and if we're compatible.

    Well I can't really take him to an LGBT meeting just yet, My Ex held my current position last year and I was just a member but anyways we met through the club and started dating. We broke up and things were awkward for a bit. Things are fine now and it isn't awkward anymore but long story short we pretty much caused a No Dating other club members rule (at least not if you use the club for that).

    When I ask him out I'm going to say that I want to get to know him better. I feel that coffee wouldn't work very well because there is a Starbucks in our school library and that would take all of five minutes. I want to do something that requires us to go off campus so that it lasts a good amount of time.

    For lunch the way our university runs is basically when everyone finishes with their classes they just rush to the cafeteria to eat, so everyone eats at really random times and there's so much hustle and bustle with homework or afternoon commitments that I feel like if we went out it would feel like we're on a time limit.

    Sorry I know it seems like I'm emphasizing a lot on time, but from my experience dates have gone well for me when they aren't forced or overly planned where you have the freedom to spend as much or as little time with the other person as you want. I've been described as a very easygoing person, but from what I can tell he's kinda shy. I'd imagine it would take a bit for him to warm up to me enough to talk freely and so we could get to know each other.

    I was thinking just a simple dinner date. Nothing too fancy or overly romantic, just a normal restaurant, like a Cheddar's or something where we could talk easily. If things go well on the date maybe we'd end up going somewhere else afterwards but that's if it goes well and if he would want to.

  13. #13
    I'm now a grandfather! JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
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    Re: So I wanna ask this guy out

    For me it was your need to "save up" that caused me to agree with the coffee idea. What about going somewhere off campus that's a location or site for a visit or walk--a museum or park or...? Just something that wouldn't require a delay waiting to have saved money.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

  14. #14
    JUB Addict Craiger's Avatar
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    Re: So I wanna ask this guy out

    Surely there is a coffee/internet cafe in town. Your suggestion to him could be that you were heading to town for coffee and would he like to join you... I'm sorry, but I feel a "date" dinner, whether romantic or not, is too formal for the first contact. Seasoned has a good point, go to a park, museum or mall and ask him along. That way you and he would be in the company of the crowd and not sequestered at a dinner table where it could become too tense for a shy person. Also, you would be spending much less money on areas such at those then at a restaurant. Just reading your replies makes me feel you are obsessing on this guy and I think the vibes are so strong you're going to frighten him off. Slow it down and be casual. Just my opinion. Good luck.

    Craiger

  15. #15
    Slut dragon08's Avatar
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    Re: So I wanna ask this guy out

    Seasoned, the delay is only like till Friday. Nothing major. I'm perfectly fine paying for both of us. And either way I'm not in town for the weekend so that seems like the next logical time anyways.

    I normally wouldn't come on this strong but there's two things. 1. He already seems to be interested, and 2. Slow and steady has NEVER worked out for me.

    I'm not some creeper I'm not just gonna go up to him and be like "yo future hubby i want your adoptive babies" I'm gonna start a conversation and get him to talk a bit and then ask him all smooth-like

  16. #16
    Slut dragon08's Avatar
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    Re: So I wanna ask this guy out

    Ok so I talked to a good friend of mine and she also said that I'd scare him off.

    She said that I should ask him for his number, then wait a bit and then message him later saying something like
    "I wanted to ask you out to dinner when I got your number but I was too nervous"
    Then he'd feel better about the whole situation and think it was cute that I was nervous.

  17. #17
    Slut dragon08's Avatar
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    Re: So I wanna ask this guy out

    I don't know why I even bother anymore. No guy I'm interested in will ever return my feelings because they are all straight or they have a boyfriend.

    I told him that i thought that he was cute and that i was wondering if maybe i could get his number and he responds "I'm flattered but i have a boyfriend"

    I just never get a break

  18. #18

    Re: So I wanna ask this guy out

    At least he's gay... you got it half right. A lot of people in your shoes crush on straight guys.

    Maybe they'll break up? Is it a long distance relationship?

    Try not to get discouraged... it's common to have to go through several rejections before that magical "yes" comes along.
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