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Thread: Gerontophilia

  1. #51
    JUB Addict mikey3000's Avatar
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    Re: Gerontophilia

    In the past year I had the oppourtunity to hook up with two wonderful, younger men, both about 25 years my junior. I'm 45 and both guys were in their early 20's, very hot and guys I hired to work in my company. I didn't touch either of them though. I was the one to chicken out . But we keep in touch via text though.

  2. #52
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    Re: Gerontophilia

    In my world these relationships have been about gold diggers---plain and simple---it may have started out as an attraction but can a young guy be into an guy 30 plus years or more than him? Sure --guys can have sex appeal at any age--but a relationship is different.
    I think Demi Moore found out the hard way when Aston dumped her for a woman his age--think she had a nervous breakdown---lol

  3. #53
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    Re: Gerontophilia

    Quote Originally Posted by dpnice View Post
    Within certain limits I could quite agree with Kane here.

    But why then do I feel that me personally lusting after a youthful 20yr old is slightly unacceptable yet after watching the film clip finding the young boy's sexual desires strange but completely acceptable?

    Well (un)fortunately that's the day and age we currently occupy. Social norms will not allow for such a relationship without certain rules or stigmas being attached. While sexuality can be quite complex, for me it's quite elementary. Adults are suppose to be the overseers of right and wrong. Children, Animals, and the Environment all look to adults to protect them from harm. Just because a young person has the capacity for lust does not mean it should be met by it's target.

    The movie American Beauty featured a middle aged man who lusted after his teenage daughter's flirtatious best friend. He struggled with the moral dilemma of giving in to his fantasies. A good movie to revisit

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0169547/
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  4. #54
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    Re: Gerontophilia

    As Kane and others have asserted, society sees the relationship imbalanced even when both are adults and of a legal majority.

    I do think the real attraction exists of the younger to the older (although most often only one generation separated), but it is extremely rare.

    It isn't creepy if the younger was not groomed into acceptance -- it's just atypical.

  5. #55
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    Re: Gerontophilia

    Quote Originally Posted by nycguydowntown View Post
    In my world these relationships have been about gold diggers---plain and simple---it may have started out as an attraction but can a young guy be into an guy 30 plus years or more than him? Sure --guys can have sex appeal at any age--but a relationship is different.
    I think Demi Moore found out the hard way when Aston dumped her for a woman his age--think she had a nervous breakdown---lol
    Speaking from personal experience, yes. My boyfriend is 30+ years older and I have been with him for 8 and a half years. Relationships can happen if you want them to. Just because you cant see why 2 people with such a large age gap can be together, doesnt mean they cant be.

  6. #56
    JUB Addict nycguydowntown's Avatar
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    Re: Gerontophilia

    Quote Originally Posted by MakeDigitalLove View Post
    Speaking from personal experience, yes. My boyfriend is 30+ years older and I have been with him for 8 and a half years. Relationships can happen if you want them to. Just because you cant see why 2 people with such a large age gap can be together, doesnt mean they cant be.
    well of course I wish you well---and I know these relationships happen--I think the age thing becomes more interesting to me when you are 40 and he is 70. Maybe that is where you are at now---but it also matters if you have a traditional monogamous or an open relationship---in my mind 20-50 is one thing and 40 -70 is another---at 40 you are just getting your life going and at 70--not so much but if that isn't important in a relationship then --cool. I worked for this guy who is almost 60--his boyfriend is just turned 30--he wants a traditional monogamous relationship---he has expressed an issue he is having lately feeling insecure that he is not enough for his "boy toy" ---and noticing his "boy toy" noticing guys his own age---I think that kind of insecurity is understandable and obviously painful for my friend.

  7. #57
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    Re: Gerontophilia

    Quote Originally Posted by nycguydowntown View Post
    well of course I wish you well---and I know these relationships happen--I think the age thing becomes more interesting to me when you are 40 and he is 70. Maybe that is where you are at now---but it also matters if you have a traditional monogamous or an open relationship---in my mind 20-50 is one thing and 40 -70 is another---at 40 you are just getting your life going and at 70--not so much but if that isn't important in a relationship then --cool. I worked for this guy who is almost 60--his boyfriend is just turned 30--he wants a traditional monogamous relationship---he has expressed an issue he is having lately feeling insecure that he is not enough for his "boy toy" ---and noticing his "boy toy" noticing guys his own age---I think that kind of insecurity is understandable and obviously painful for my friend.
    I see you point but this film is portraying a 20yr old with a 70yr old. Does this change your point of view?
    http://justusboys.com/forum/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=72786&dateline=115443  2352

  8. #58
    JUB Addict m1thousand's Avatar
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    Re: Gerontophilia


  9. #59
    Know thyself kallipolis's Avatar
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    Re: Gerontophilia

    Quote Originally Posted by nycguydowntown View Post
    well of course I wish you well---and I know these relationships happen--I think the age thing becomes more interesting to me when you are 40 and he is 70. Maybe that is where you are at now---but it also matters if you have a traditional monogamous or an open relationship---in my mind 20-50 is one thing and 40 -70 is another---at 40 you are just getting your life going and at 70--not so much but if that isn't important in a relationship then --cool. I worked for this guy who is almost 60--his boyfriend is just turned 30--he wants a traditional monogamous relationship---he has expressed an issue he is having lately feeling insecure that he is not enough for his "boy toy" ---and noticing his "boy toy" noticing guys his own age---I think that kind of insecurity is understandable and obviously painful for my friend.
    Insecurities feature in most loving relationships rarely having anything to do with age differences.

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    Re: Gerontophilia

    စစ္ပြဲေတြမ႐ိွရင္ေကာင္းမွာပဲစစ္ပြဲေတြမ႐ိွရင္ေကာင္းမ ွာပဲ
    με παράδειγμα ένα ξεδίπλωμα και καθαρμού....o
    Last edited by cgymike; March 13th, 2014 at 01:59 AM.

  11. #61
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    Re: Gerontophilia

    Quote Originally Posted by cgymike View Post
    စစ္ပြဲေတြမ႐ိွရင္ေကာင္းမွာပဲစစ္ပြဲေတြမ႐ိွရင္ေကာင္းမ ွာပဲ
    με παράδειγμα ένα ξεδίπλωμα και καθαρμού....o
    I will offer you an example, with explanation.

    Insecurities are the product of fear that manifest in the lives of all human beings more, so in intimate relationships when trust is the key to the success of a loving relationship between two partners...thus, even in a loving relationship between partners of similar age there can arise issues of trust predicated by jealousies that ultimately destroy the partnership.

    This fact of life is not peculiar to gay relationships for the divorce rate.. among heterosexual couples indicates that marriage breakdowns are often driven by petty insecurities that lead to bitter and acrimonious disputes.

    From my long experience with much younger partners patience, understanding, and forgiveness (wisdom, a product of learning from life's experiences) irrigates a flourishing loving relationship...for most people seek security from their loving partnership with harmony the result of a much older partner's love manifesting its daily reality in practical terms.

    I also appreciate that loving relationships between partners of similar age can also demonstrate mature behaviour that fertilises a flourishing loving partnership...
    Last edited by kallipolis; March 13th, 2014 at 02:16 AM.

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    Re: Gerontophilia

    το γεγονός της ζωής για το τι συγκεκριμένα; Παρακαλείστε να δηλώσετε ιδιαιτερότητες στη σχέση και να οδηγήσει, σύμφωνα με τις γνωστές παραμέτρους της ύπαρξης .... να διαιρέσει, σύμφωνα με τις μετρήσεις είναι ανώριμη και irresonsible μια απλή φαντασίωση!

    ένα μέτρο της συνέχειας και λογική εξέλιξη δεν μπορεί να περιέχει την άποψή σας


    ανθεκτικό αγάπη στην πράξη και λόγο χωρίς όρια
    Last edited by cgymike; March 13th, 2014 at 02:45 AM.

  13. #63
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    Re: Gerontophilia

    Quote Originally Posted by nycguydowntown View Post
    In my world these relationships have been about gold diggers---plain and simple---it may have started out as an attraction but can a young guy be into an guy 30 plus years or more than him? Sure --guys can have sex appeal at any age--but a relationship is different.
    I think Demi Moore found out the hard way when Aston dumped her for a woman his age--think she had a nervous breakdown---lol
    When it´s about money, it won´t last. But in relationships (real relationships) age really doesn´t matter.

    I think people here are putting 20 year olds and 15 year olds in the same category and that´s not really the case. Real life is not like in movies, no matter how good they are. If you folks at your age now are interested in young men, I really don´t think that for most of you it will change when you´re older. Of course, being 20 has its ups and downs (for the latter being the lack of experience, abnormal all kinds of expectations, insecurities, financial instability etc). But being 70 also has its ups and downs, isn´t it? How I see it, the main factors that can cause damage in such a relationship are not far from the ones in same-age relationships - cheating, expectations, boredom, etc. You already have this problems for many couples, regardless of their age.

    And I´ve read here that social norms and behavior expectations today raises an eyebrow to such relationships. Is this a big enough reason not to let 2 adults enjoy life, even if it won´t last more than 2, 5 or 10 years? Because social norms not long ago didn´t allow women and non white men to do some pretty important stuff and that changed.
    ¨Beware the fury of a patient man¨ - John Dryden

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    Re: Gerontophilia

    φορά συνάντησε τον ορίζοντα γεγονότων με επιβάρυνση του γνωστού ως απάντηση στην μνήμη στο μέγιστο η κραυγή της ευαισθητοποίησης στη σιωπή χωρίς μέτρο ή παράδειγμα .... Ηρόδοτος ήξερε ...

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    Re: Gerontophilia

    Quote Originally Posted by cgymike View Post
    το γεγονός της ζωής για το τι συγκεκριμένα; Παρακαλείστε να δηλώσετε ιδιαιτερότητες στη σχέση και να οδηγήσει, σύμφωνα με τις γνωστές παραμέτρους της ύπαρξης .... να διαιρέσει, σύμφωνα με τις μετρήσεις είναι ανώριμη και irresonsible μια απλή φαντασίωση!

    ένα μέτρο της συνέχειας και λογική εξέλιξη δεν μπορεί να περιέχει την άποψή σας


    ανθεκτικό αγάπη στην πράξη και λόγο χωρίς όρια
    I am happy to delve in to this matter in more depth but it will only reveal more of my own personal experiences for I do not pretend to offer a remedy to the daily trials that loving couples experience....what I can say, is that loving relationships last as long as the loving partners benefit from their relationship...in other words there is no magical formula beyond the relationship serving the needs of the partners.

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    Re: Gerontophilia

    Quote Originally Posted by cgymike View Post
    φορά συνάντησε τον ορίζοντα γεγονότων με επιβάρυνση του γνωστού ως απάντηση στην μνήμη στο μέγιστο η κραυγή της ευαισθητοποίησης στη σιωπή χωρίς μέτρο ή παράδειγμα .... Ηρόδοτος ήξερε ...
    My favourite thought offered by wise Herodotus invites each of us to celebrate life by taking risks that enable us to live life to the fullest...here I am contemplating the further thought that without trying, and trying very hard to make a loving partnership work there is little reason to remain with a partner.....

    All men's gains are the fruit of venturing.

  17. #67
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    Re: Gerontophilia

    Quote Originally Posted by -Kane- View Post
    There are certain lines that human beings should never cross and this is one of them.
    That may work for you but don't tar everybody else with the same brush

  18. #68

    Re: Gerontophilia

    Ha hah ha.

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    Re: Gerontophilia

    I was 31 and married with two kids when I met my partner who was 20 not sure that's an old enough difference but we have been together years!

  20. #70

    Re: Gerontophilia

    Quote Originally Posted by lambdaboy View Post
    I was 31 and married with two kids when I met my partner who was 20 not sure that's an old enough difference but we have been together years!
    Hardly the Harold to your Maude, but I'm all about happy endings.

  21. #71
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    Re: Gerontophilia

    Wednesday is the day in France for the new films to be screened. Just noticed that this is now showing so even though I shouldn't go out tonight it is my only chance to get to see it; the 22:10 screening.
    http://justusboys.com/forum/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=72786&dateline=115443  2352

  22. #72
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    Re: Gerontophilia

    Oh yes Bruce La bruce creator of one of my favorite gay zombie flicks "OTTO".

    When you find someone that you click with its amazing how age, though important really becomes secondary. The problem is finding those people.

  23. #73
    The nice guy from Nice. dpnice's Avatar
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    Re: Gerontophilia

    In all honesty I probably wouldn't recommend the film, but there were some pleasing moments, it brought a smile to my face and some of the shooting/scenes were really excellent.

    It won't change the world or its discrimination over old gay men but the acting manages to make it seem a realistic possibility.

    Of course, the young actor is attractive enough to make the film enjoyable in a sexual way; which of course defeats the object of the film as one spends all one's time fantasizing over him rather than thinking about the subject of the film.

    I am glad I went to see it and hope that the only other person in the audience thought the same. He was quite cute and young so wouldn't it have been interesting if we had ended up getting together.
    http://justusboys.com/forum/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=72786&dateline=115443  2352

  24. #74
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    Re: Gerontophilia

    What will be interesting and new to me is when I'll see 30-40 year olds dating 60-70 year olds. I have yet to hear or see that around. It's usually 40 year olds who hook up with a twinks and accuse everyone else around them of ageism, while quiet often they refuse to mingle with men of their age or older. Just recently one 45 year old was chatting with me and telling me how lonely he is most of the time; how much he hates the scene because guys turn him down. When I dug deeper into his story, he pretty much said he doesn't like "old men" and when I asked what's old he said 30 and up lol.

  25. #75
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    Re: Gerontophilia

    I like much older men. My ex and I had a 46 year age gap. It was physical at first and then I grew to really like (and later) love him. We broke up for a variety of reasons, but lack of communication and being in two different places in our lives were the main contributors.

    I think I would be unlikely to have a relationship with someone older than 60. Sex is fine, but a relationship, no.
    Last edited by altlover85; March 26th, 2014 at 09:39 PM.

  26. #76
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    Re: Gerontophilia

    Quote Originally Posted by RaKroma View Post
    What will be interesting and new to me is when I'll see 30-40 year olds dating 60-70 year olds.
    I have such friends. Being together usually for more than 10 years. Just because the younger guy gets older too doesn´t mean the end of a relationship.
    ¨Beware the fury of a patient man¨ - John Dryden

  27. #77
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    Re: Gerontophilia

    I'm a fan of LaBruce's earlier work. Will seek this out. Anyone know if this is available in the States?

  28. #78

    Re: Gerontophilia

    Have you gotten around to seeing this yet, Miaedu?

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    Re: Gerontophilia

    Quote Originally Posted by Native Son View Post
    Have you gotten around to seeing this yet, Miaedu?
    tonight was the US premier at the Miami Gay and Lesbian Film Festival. unfortunately I was not able to attend. I'm sure it will go into general release soon.

    http://www.mglff.com/films/view/134

  30. #80

    Re: Gerontophilia

    Oh. I see.

  31. #81
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    Re: Gerontophilia

    Already been out on general release here in France. Only stayed in the cinema one week but I did manage to get to see it.

    I enjoyed it for all the wrong reasons.
    http://justusboys.com/forum/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=72786&dateline=115443  2352

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    Re: Gerontophilia


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