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  1. #1
    JUB Addict cgymike's Avatar
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    If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    UGH...I just came across 2 ads in a row on okcupid using those fateful words. WTF? Well, hello you are wanting to be straight then go find some pussy! Just be yourself. Fuck the stereotype.

    You never see an ad saying "gay acting"

    Ridiculous and admitting that straight is somehow "better and desirable than gay"


    Your post comments are forwarded to the CIA.

  2. #2
    CupidBoy
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    Exactly how I how feel.

    It's beyond repulsive.

  3. #3

    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    Quote Originally Posted by cgymike View Post
    You never see an ad saying "gay acting"

    Ridiculous and admitting that straight is somehow "better and desirable than gay"

    Well that's because historically (and even now in most places) "straight" has been more desirable than being gay.

    The more "straight acting" (masculine) you are, the more likely you are to escape discrimination or not be attacked or harrassed for being gay. The more "fem" or "gay" you are, the more likely people will single you out for discrimination, or sadly, violence.

    Anyway, you're probably not a gay man of color. Most ads also say that they don't want "Asians" or "fats".......or something like that.
    I used to be like that, but not anymore. At least not on the first date. Third date, whole other story..."

  4. #4
    JUB Addict cgymike's Avatar
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    Quote Originally Posted by JayQueer View Post
    Well that's because historically (and even now in most places) "straight" has been more desirable than being gay.

    The more "straight acting" (masculine) you are, the more likely you are to escape discrimination or not be attacked or harrassed for being gay. The more "fem" or "gay" you are, the more likely people will single you out for discrimination, or sadly, violence.

    Anyway, you're probably not a gay man of color. Most ads also say that they don't want "Asians" or "fats".......or something like that.
    Yeah it's just repulsive to see those words.
    Your post comments are forwarded to the CIA.

  5. #5
    The old familiar sting blackbeltninja's Avatar
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    I'm in two minds.

    On the minus side, it seems to inherently suggest there is something wrong with being gay acting.

    On the plus side, we all know what it means*. And thus, since that is the idea of the descriptors on dating and hookup sites, the unambiguity of it is welcome. Unlike someone who describes their physique or looks as "average," which really could mean anything.

    Being an alumnus of the no-alarms-and-no-surprises-please school of thought, I'm a big fan of things which actually do what they say on the box.

    -d-
    *And for those of you who will say "it means the guy is a complete fuck-nut," well, yes - and now you're forewarned. So everyone wins.
    Members: [insert appropriate/relevant wise saying or deep thought here]
    Thank you.


    I hope you get this message.
    Comments welcome.

  6. #6
    Already Gone BreakTheIce's Avatar
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    I'm out of the loop. What's straight acting?

  7. #7
    Impish and Mercurial Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    Straight acting is code for "I try to be butch cause I'm ashamed to be gay". Utterly pathetic, I feel nothing but loathing for people who use it. If you want to act, go to Hollywood.
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
    - Gene Wolfe

  8. #8

    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    What about those of us who don't care but are naturally butch?

  9. #9
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    Quote Originally Posted by zombiekiller View Post
    What about those of us who don't care but are naturally butch?
    That's where the trouble comes in.

  10. #10
    Elderhostile Gay Dejavudoo's Avatar
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    Quote Originally Posted by Rolyo85 View Post
    Straight acting is code for "I try to be butch cause I'm ashamed to be gay". Utterly pathetic, I feel nothing but loathing for people who use it. If you want to act, go to Hollywood.
    Or not.

    There are plenty of us who would not use such a description, but that doesn't mean necessarily that it was used with malice, contempt, or self-hate or denial.

    If the flaming, lisping, catty, bitchy, glitter-bombing, and other prevailing "gay" stereotypes did not compete to represent "gay," the need for distinction from that would not exist. Would it hurt those guys if they were mistaken for that? Well, if they aren't those things, it wouldn't help them find the date they are looking for.

    I find the term more inarticulate than offensive. It is often exceeded with a truly lame comment, "not looking for gay" or similar. That's denial.

    The truth is there is no politically correct term to define a less flamboyant man. "Normal" doesn't mean anything. "Masculine" starts an argument about what that means. "Average" needs context.

    "Straight-acting" actually conveys what they intend -- more or less an ordinary guy with no tendency to push gender roles or step outside of safe boundaries. The ones whom that seems to offend the most are those who do. So be it.

    As most people ascribe to the genetic determinant for homosexuality, that means that the actual incidence of it is expressed in a population across all lifestyles and economic classes and personality types. As such, by definition, most gays are, for lack of a better term, ordinary.

    There is a constant drive by some to suggest that somehow homosexuality is a gift, a mark of excellence, a club of the nonconformist/artistic/whatever. The truth is, we are not anything of those things, but can be all of them.

    As gay men in an increasingly accepting culture, we will progressively see less stigma and therefore less aversion to whatever term replaces gay. Ultimately, once the out & loud are no longer the stereotypical poster children for gays, the problem will go away of its own accord.
    There are TWO kinds of people in the world -- the kind who believe there are two kinds of people, and the kind who don't.

  11. #11
    Know thyself kallipolis's Avatar
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    Quote Originally Posted by Dejavudoo View Post

    If the flaming, lisping, catty, bitchy, glitter-bombing, and other prevailing "gay" stereotypes did not compete to represent "gay," the need for distinction from that would not exist. Would it hurt those guys if they were mistaken for that? Well, if they aren't those things, it wouldn't help them find the date they are looking for.

    As gay men in an increasingly accepting culture, we will progressively see less stigma and therefore less aversion to whatever term replaces gay. Ultimately, once the out & loud are no longer the stereotypical poster children for gays, the problem will go away of its own accord.
    Well noted.

  12. #12
    Oranje rareboy's Avatar
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    Quote Originally Posted by JayQueer View Post
    Well that's because historically (and even now in most places) "straight" has been more desirable than being gay.

    The more "straight acting" (masculine) you are, the more likely you are to escape discrimination or not be attacked or harrassed for being gay. The more "fem" or "gay" you are, the more likely people will single you out for discrimination, or sadly, violence.

    Anyway, you're probably not a gay man of color. Most ads also say that they don't want "Asians" or "fats".......or something like that.
    And we've seen you do that repeatedly over the past few years here on JUB.

  13. #13
    Oranje rareboy's Avatar
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    Quote Originally Posted by zombiekiller View Post
    What about those of us who don't care but are naturally butch?
    We get called Lesbians????

  14. #14
    Glorious Years on JUB!
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    When we get over our love/hate relationship with labels, deportment, and sexuality, maybe we can let other people live their lives without getting huffy about it.


  15. #15
    Lions&Tigers&Bears Oh My!
    eastofeden's Avatar
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    This one night a pretty good friend of mine...after having known him for many many years...told me when he was sitting at the bar drinking that he didn't ever believe I was really gay.

    WTF??????????????????????? I was perplexed...and insulted.

    Unlike a lot of straight guys who might love women but don't really like them...I really LIKE men...and I also LOVE them. He also saw me French kissing at least 50 guys over the years...maybe saw me having sex (I was a slut...and not real shy so who knows?)...he also knew all the lovers I ever had including the one I have now and had been to dinner at my house..stayed over....ect ect.

    I demanded that he explain himself...he wasn't really good with words...he was a walking clothes hanger kind of guy...very concerned about his appearance 24/7...and one of those guys who other people who are concerned about appearance want to date.

    We finally figured it out ....because I pestered him. In our circle of friends...when everyone would start talking about guys I would pretty much check out..because I find it boring. I got nothing to say. If I have watched a guy or clicked with him or know something about him then I often think they are sexy...but it is a whole package kind of thing. I really never get off just looking at men in general...it is just not very interesting to me. YUP...that is where he got his opinion from.....and he thought I was weird....

  16. #16
    I spell spelled spelt
    gsdx's Avatar
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    It's more repulsive to be TOLD in this forum that some of us are 'straight-acting', whether or not we acknowledge it. I'm not 'straight-acting'. It's just the way I am. I couldn't 'act gay' if my life depended on it.

    It's not a cop-out. I'm not hiding behind a veil. I simply cannot do the stereotype.

  17. #17
    Dance like Machines MakeDigitalLove's Avatar
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    Don't like it or anyone who considers themselves it. Acting in any way, straight or gay seems pathetic. You're trying to fill a role and/or trying to fit in. It is for people who are afraid to be themselves.

  18. #18
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    I find guys acting straight to be as tedious as guys acting gay. Be your sexy weird self and drop the act.
    Americans need to keep their guns so they can protect themselves from gun violence just like Nancy Lanza did. And like Chris Kyle did. And like Gabby Giffords did. And like Tom Clements did. And like Michael Piemonte. And Joseph Wilcox.

  19. #19

    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    Quote Originally Posted by BreakTheIce View Post
    I'm out of the loop. What's straight acting?

    Think of it as a portable closet.

    "I'm a good fag who wears his closet well. In fact, I've been doing it for so long I've decided to call it 'natural' because after all this time that's how it feels."

    "We can go on a date, but we'll set at separate tables. Don't look at me or say my name in public, and always stay at least 15 paces behind me."

    "Come let me blow you in my porto-closet."


    - - - - - -

    Have you ever heard someone say, "He's one of those good niggers, he acts just like white people."? It's like that.

  20. #20
    Porn Star aaggii's Avatar
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    I swear, in a few years we won´t be able to say anything; everything is politically incorrect. Most people assume that one is hetero until proven otherwise, call it human nature, bad history, culture, whatever. I, too, had friends who didn´t believe I like men and they saw it as a joke that I made to them. Why would I be insulted? Their problem.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rolyo85 View Post
    Straight acting is code for "I try to be butch cause I'm ashamed to be gay". Utterly pathetic, I feel nothing but loathing for people who use it. If you want to act, go to Hollywood.
    You need to check again some definitions, because you clearly have it wrong. Straight acting is acting like your average heterosexual man, without necessarily being ashamed of being gay. That´s it.

    As for ¨what´s straight acting omg¨ that some posted.. you know damn well what it is, otherwise you´d google it.
    ¨Beware the fury of a patient man¨ - John Dryden

  21. #21
    Dance like Machines MakeDigitalLove's Avatar
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    If you are "acting like your average heterosexual man", then in some sort of fashion you have a problem or are ashamed of your sexuality. Or there would be no reason to "act" a certain way.

  22. #22
    The Journey of a Lifetime Adrock-JD's Avatar
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    More politically correct might be to just say "masculine" ?

  23. #23

    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    I believe masculinity is not one dimensional while we're multi dimensional creatures. Im secure enough not to become totally to the most feminine realm because parts of me just dont have what it takes to get there ie; motherly, intensely passive,too emotional, etc..
    although somehow I like flashy stuff but it's more like a peacock who loves his feathers

  24. #24
    The gay gargoyle
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    I have some feminine traits. I like to sit with my legs crossed. I often point at things with a flourish of my wrist. My laugh sometimes ramps upwards into giggle territory. I'll go buy scented candles.

    And some straight people consider these affectations. Things I do deliberately in order to "fit in" with the gay community. Thing is - it never feels like an act. I don't ever recall forcing my laugh up. I don't recall sitting with my legs uncrossed and thinking "you should cross your legs - it's more gay that way". If it's an "act", it's so engrained in me that I don't ever recall seeing the script, and it's become completely second nature, if not first nature. But if someone wants to consider these things an "act", that's their call.

    Similarly, I have some masculine traits. My voice is low, I dress in T-shirts and jeans, I like going to sporting events and hollering. I love rock music.

    And some gay people consider these affectations. Things I do to "fit in" with the straight community. Thing is - it never feels like an act. I don't recall forcing my voice down. I don't recall seeing an item of clothing, really wanting it, then deciding against it because "that looks too gay". I don't recall having to force myself to buy tickets to sporting events. I don't recall feeling the need to crank the rock so people won't think I'm a homo. If it's an "act", it's so engrained in me that I don't ever recall seeing the script, and it's become completely second nature, if not first nature. But if someone wants to consider these things an "act", that's their call.

    Lex

  25. #25
    TheSpectatingLoner
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    "Straight acting?" *yawn*

    I actually haven't heard the term used in a few years. Now it's all about "masc."

  26. #26
    TheSpectatingLoner
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    Quote Originally Posted by gsdx View Post
    I couldn't 'act gay' if my life depended on it.

  27. #27
    Ruminating
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    To me, the expression smacks more of an insecurity issue than self loathing. But if OKcupid is a hookup site, isn't it used to describe what you prefer, like top or bottom. Do you really care if they are a closet case as long as they make you hard and you get to cum?
    Everyone wants to be heard. No one wants to listen.

  28. #28
    Formulas Fatal to Flesh.
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    I'm gay acting.

    There, someone used the term.

    Going back to video games now.

  29. #29

    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    What term would you all prefer?

    Let's start promoting that instead of whining.

  30. #30
    I spell spelled spelt
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post
    Despite your reaction, what I said is the truth. It is not an opinion.

  31. #31
    JUB Addict Anders123's Avatar
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    A lot of people here seem to be forgetting that many words can have multiple definitions. 'Acting' is one of them.

    When people describe themselves as 'straight acting', they're not stating (or even implying) that they pretend to be somebody they're not. 'Acting' in this context is not describing a performance or a facade, but simply the manner in which they conduct themselves. Think of it more as a synonym for 'behaving'.

    With that said, I don't champion the use of 'straight acting' as a descriptor. Setting aside the issue of which is seen to be more desirable, the phrase itself stems from (and perpetuates) the stereotype that straight men are traditionally masculine whereas gay men are traditionally feminine, and this is simply inaccurate. I'm not personally offended when I see another person using the term, but to me it's a strong indicator that this person either has poor critical thinking skills or is simply inarticulate, and I find both of those traits to be undesirable.

  32. #32
    Impish and Mercurial Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    The term is offensive to gay people, that's a fact. Because those using it mean "masculine" and "butch", which implies that being gay or "gay acting" is somehow wimpier, more feminine and in general not "man enough" compared to being straight. There is NO way the term can be used without being offensive. And like someone said, you can just use "masculine". Not that it isn't dumb to be worried about bullshit like that, but at least if you are going to have panic-code for "I am afraid to be associated with the gay scene", don't denigrate the rest of us with it.

    Plus, it's just ridiculously inaccurate. Straight men don't have a monopoly on masculinity and I know gay guys who are way more butch than any straight dude I've ever met.
    Last edited by Rolyo85; September 25th, 2013 at 08:59 AM.
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
    - Gene Wolfe

  33. #33
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    Anders got to it before me. (good post Anders)

    Quote Originally Posted by MakeDigitalLove View Post
    If you are "acting like your average heterosexual man", then in some sort of fashion you have a problem or are ashamed of your sexuality. Or there would be no reason to "act" a certain way.
    Quote Originally Posted by MakeDigitalLove View Post
    Don't like it or anyone who considers themselves it. Acting in any way, straight or gay seems pathetic. You're trying to fill a role and/or trying to fit in. It is for people who are afraid to be themselves.
    This is where being bigoted just goes in another direction. Frequently even the assertion of "not bearing stereotypical behaviors" (there is not a good way to phrase it-- hence this thread existing) is immediately called some form of fakery, repression or whatever else.

    People who do not like stereotyping should not adopt a position that anyone who would not be "thought of" as "gay" on a random meet and mentions this somehow in a discussion is actually a screaming queen suffering from self-imposed repression. Because those people are essentially saying "the stereotype is true, and you're just trying to hide your real, stereotype self."

    It's not only untrue, it's equally offensive to reduce us all to one image as to treat someone as inferior for being a certain image.

    Quote Originally Posted by bankside View Post
    I find guys acting straight to be as tedious as guys acting gay. Be your sexy weird self and drop the act.
    Quote Originally Posted by sixthson View Post
    To me, the expression smacks more of an insecurity issue than self loathing. But if OKcupid is a hookup site, isn't it used to describe what you prefer, like top or bottom. Do you really care if they are a closet case as long as they make you hard and you get to cum?
    Like I mentioned at the top, Anders got to it first. People are getting overly caught on the term "acting." I don't think most people who use the term straight-acting are actually super effeminate and taking enormous pains to fake their way around it. I think they're just using a very clumsy term. In the term of these contexts it has the same meaning as "seem."

    By the way I have been told many times by straight friends "you don't ACT like a gay guy..", and I never understood that to mean that they thought any of you guys are actually just "ACTING" gay in a dishonest way. I presume you're just being yourselves. Though that never seems to work both ways.

    Quote Originally Posted by LuckysRevenge View Post
    What term would you all prefer?

    Let's start promoting that instead of whining.
    That's what I think too, along with what Sixthson said. People reading massive offense into the term doesn't get us anywhere. What term should be used? I don't know of one. Straight seeming sounds like some kind of dry cleaning or sewing to me. Very un-fab. Any other ideas?

    Or does any form of self-description that removes one from the stereotype inherently offend people as offensive, even if it's true?

  34. #34
    JUB Addict journo25's Avatar
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    Quote Originally Posted by Rolyo85 View Post
    The term is offensive to gay people, that's a fact. Because those using it mean "masculine" and "butch", which implies that being gay or "gay acting" is somehow wimpier, more feminine and in general not "man enough" compared to being straight. There is NO way the term can be used without being offensive. And like someone said, you can just use "masculine". Not that it isn't dumb to be worried about bullshit like that, but at least if you are going to have panic-code for "I am afraid to be associated with the gay scene", don't denigrate the rest of us with it.

    Plus, it's just ridiculously inaccurate. Straight men don't have a monopoly on masculinity and I know gay guys who are way more butch than any straight dude I've ever met.
    Precisely! The term is offensive because it suggests deception, keeping up appearances. I am masculine but I have my feminine moments and a campy side. Someone who goes to such pains to pass himself off and seeks someone similar is dragging around way too much baggage to interest me. Deal with your unfinished business first.

  35. #35

    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    Quote Originally Posted by Rolyo85 View Post
    Plus, it's just ridiculously inaccurate. Straight men don't have a monopoly on masculinity and I know gay guys who are way more butch than any straight dude I've ever met.
    I think any man - gay or straight - who is overly masculine is putting on an act, so the term should really be "masculine acting", but the problem is that gay men are always being told that they are inherently born with a flamboyant clown-like personality because that's more or less the only gay male personality trait that is recognized by the straight majority, so they don't see that straight men also have to put on an act in order to fit in.
    I think it happens more easily for straight men though and they are probably less aware of it as well because they are not questioned for the way they act the same way that gay men constantly are.
    The same obviously goes for feminine traits in women and gay men.

  36. #36
    Porn Star aaggii's Avatar
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    Quote Originally Posted by MakeDigitalLove View Post
    If you are "acting like your average heterosexual man", then in some sort of fashion you have a problem or are ashamed of your sexuality. Or there would be no reason to "act" a certain way.
    Maybe because that´s just the way someone behaves (act=behavior, people already said it here before me)? Regardless if it´s like a heterosexual or a homosexual male, of course.
    Last edited by aaggii; September 25th, 2013 at 09:41 AM.
    ¨Beware the fury of a patient man¨ - John Dryden

  37. #37
    JUB Addict journo25's Avatar
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    By the way I have been told many times by straight friends "you don't ACT like a gay guy..", and I never understood that to mean that they thought any of you guys are actually just "ACTING" gay in a dishonest way. I presume you're just being yourselves. Though that never seems to work both ways.

    I get this, too. How so? Does much of the straight world really think we can't have a conversation without grabbing someone's crotch or feeling up their ass?

  38. #38
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    ^ ^ First paragraph is extracted from Buzz's post. Sorry, I deleted too much.

  39. #39
    Porn Star aaggii's Avatar
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    Quote Originally Posted by Rolyo85 View Post
    The term is offensive to gay people, that's a fact.
    Offensive to those who get offended 20 times in a minute while reading something on the internet. Like some tumblr users.

    The idea of straight-acting doesn´t put down someone who isn´t straight acting, I have no idea why someone description makes people feel insecure if they don´t actually find themselves in that description. ¨Oh, he is different than me, how could he say that, what, it means he´s better?¨ - this is just stupid. Words change definitions in time, you know, like, I don´t know, gay. Did you know it meant happy? WOW.
    ¨Beware the fury of a patient man¨ - John Dryden

  40. #40
    Dance like Machines MakeDigitalLove's Avatar
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    Quote Originally Posted by xbuzzerx View Post

    This is where being bigoted just goes in another direction. Frequently even the assertion of "not bearing stereotypical behaviors" (there is not a good way to phrase it-- hence this thread existing) is immediately called some form of fakery, repression or whatever else.
    Hardly a bigot.

    People who do not like stereotyping should not adopt a position that anyone who would not be "thought of" as "gay" on a random meet and mentions this somehow in a discussion is actually a screaming queen suffering from self-imposed repression. Because those people are essentially saying "the stereotype is true, and you're just trying to hide your real, stereotype self."
    Not at all.

    It's not only untrue, it's equally offensive to reduce us all to one image as to treat someone as inferior for being a certain image.
    Never did that.

    Maybe because that´s just the way someone acts (act not as in movie-acting, but just the way he is)? Regardless if it´s like a heterosexual or a homosexual male, of course.
    Well my belief is that someone who puts on a "straight" persona, whether you want to call it acting, behavior, image, they have a problem with their sexuality. I am not speaking of someone who just appears to be "straight" by general societal standards, I am talking about men who put out their masculinity because they think it makes them more "straight" and/or manly to other people, people trying not to appear "gay."

  41. #41
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    Quote Originally Posted by MakeDigitalLove View Post
    Well my belief is that someone who puts on a "straight" persona, whether you want to call it acting, behavior, image, they have a problem with their sexuality.
    The problem is that both of your posts before this one implied that anyone who would ever self-describe themselves out of the category of stereotypically gay falls into this category.

    If it is wrong to castigate gay men with effeminate qualities it must then be as wrong (even if not as frowned upon by mainstream) to castigate them for not having effeminate qualities-- or for saying they must be suffering from a psychological dysfunction if they do not omit this in a self-description.

  42. #42
    Porn Star aaggii's Avatar
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    Quote Originally Posted by MakeDigitalLove View Post
    Well my belief is that someone who puts on a "straight" persona, whether you want to call it acting, behavior, image, they have a problem with their sexuality. I am not speaking of someone who just appears to be "straight" by general societal standards, I am talking about men who put out their masculinity because they think it makes them more "straight" and/or manly to other people, people trying not to appear "gay."
    Of course, but I don´t talk about that. Take a look at the bear/muscle scene, in one look you´ll see plenty of ¨look how macho I am¨ type of guys. I talk about people who don´t fit the gay stereotype. People who always get ¨I didnt think you were gay¨¨wow, i had no clue¨ ¨are you kidding me, the thought never crossed my mind¨. The expression uses the word straight, so what? Again, it doesn´t put down people who are not straight-acting.
    ¨Beware the fury of a patient man¨ - John Dryden

  43. #43
    I completely agree with the OP and all who find that phrase insulting.

  44. #44
    Dance like Machines MakeDigitalLove's Avatar
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    Quote Originally Posted by xbuzzerx View Post
    The problem is that both of your posts before this one implied that anyone who would ever self-describe themselves out of the category of stereotypically gay falls into this category.
    I definitely didn't.

    If it is wrong to castigate gay men with effeminate qualities it must then be as wrong (even if not as frowned upon by mainstream) to castigate them for not having effeminate qualities-- or for saying they must be suffering from a psychological dysfunction if they do not omit this in a self-description.
    I don't see where I did that. I thought it was clear that I was speaking of gay men who are literally acting straight to not appear as gay.

  45. #45
    portabodwitstand&chairtoo SLOPPYSECONDS's Avatar
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    no idea any land planet straight anythang is fa eons
    but few anythang close ta human wot left on planet

    ha

    internet 2 squrim it all time ans media company polis Uni etc so on play up da shit ans mak mor shit ans public recycle

    thankyou fa no a readt his post

    ha
    Mrupslide--ya manhood a safe ya no got 1-ya womanhood safe cause still on sale--Mrdownslide
    Mrdownslide--puts agether ans yagot wot?"yafail ansa stills getta nothin--Mrupslide

  46. #46
    The gay gargoyle
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    Quote Originally Posted by MakeDigitalLove View Post
    Well my belief is that someone who puts on a "straight" persona, whether you want to call it acting, behavior, image, they have a problem with their sexuality. I am not speaking of someone who just appears to be "straight" by general societal standards, I am talking about men who put out their masculinity because they think it makes them more "straight" and/or manly to other people, people trying not to appear "gay."
    But where's the difference? As I said in my post, I have plenty of masculine characteristics. And as I said, they certainly SEEM to be "genuine" - at least, I don't feel any sense of self-betrayal when I exhibit them, anymore than I feel I'm not being myself when I cross my legs, or do anything that might be deemed effeminate. But there are those that insist that all such behaviors and traits ARE in fact "acts". Or, to sum it up in a quote - "There are two types of gay men - flamers and liars."

    Lex

  47. #47
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    I think that the phrase is cool if it is how you want to describe yourself.....I would probably avoid the person who described themselves that way myself because a lot of the guys I met along the way who were self described "straight acting" were smug uptight conservative oppressive jerks....and I would appreciate the warning I have had sex with lots of self described "straight" guys though..and I liked them.

  48. #48

    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    This phrase is only used on dating or hookup apps. If you don't like it it's a great indicator of who to avoid.
    The term in itself is not offensive and trying to attribute all sorts of meaning and psychological background says more about the accuser than the accused.

  49. #49

    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    The words are descriptive, and we all know the continuum they describe. Whether they are used in a neutral, laudatory or pejorative fashion depends on the context.

  50. #50
    JUB Addict journo25's Avatar
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    Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

    Who decides what constitutes "masculine?" Society... and it is entirely subjective. Is a straight man who prefers opera to sports less masculine than a gay man who is a rabid sports fan? I suspect many people would think so based on stereotypical beliefs of what "regular guys" should be into (bowling over bridge; beer over wine...).

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