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  1. #1
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    I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    So for the first time in my life...someone has stood outside our house and called to tell me that they were here to mow the lawn instead of just knocking on the door. I've seen a big change over the last ten years in how the kids who mow our lawns interact socially...we have gone from the sweet and outgoing kid who felt perfectly comfortable knocking and then walking in to the house to get a drink or use the bathroom or to make his own lunch, to a series of increasingly disconnected teenagers who don't ever unplug from their I-Brain or stop texting to whoever they haven't texted for the last 5 minutes and would never step inside the house.

    It is almost impossible now to get anyone under the age of 25 in our office to interact with real humans and harder and harder to get them to cold call anyone. This week I blew up at one of the 'shy' young interns who didn't call as I had asked but sent an email and thought it was okay because the other person hadn't responded for two days to a question that needed answering the moment I asked it.

    Rant over.

  2. #2
    Dejavudoo
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    My sympathies.

    I have a friend at work who is in her 30's, and she often texts me when she needs to just talk to me. Insane.

  3. #3
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    I would respond to this thread,but I don't have your cell number.

  4. #4
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    People do not know how to communicate with each other anymore!

  5. #5
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    It reminds me of that commercial with a family sitting at a holiday table and someone at the table calling someone else at the table and asking them to pass the gravy.

  6. #6

    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    It's a well documented condition of anomie - a society where individuals' connection with each other have become socially frayed.
    Communication is thus carried out, but at a distance.
    I hate it, it's awful, but this is increasingly how we relate to each other.

  7. #7
    Do I dare to eat a peach?
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Can't comment.

    PM your cellphone #.

  8. #8
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    but it is also sad when someone does not change with the times.




  9. #9
    Canuck rhymes with f*ck
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Quote Originally Posted by PreTTy PeTe View Post
    but it is also sad when someone does not change with the times.
    I guess I'm 'sad' then. I don't even own a cell phone.

  10. #10
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Instead of using technology as a tool, we have allowed it to alter the the way we live. I often wonder why they call it "social media". There is nothing "social" about talking to a machine and reading words on a screen. Sad. Eventually this avoiding human face to face contact will be our undoing. Technology cannot replace the human dynamic.

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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Quote Originally Posted by gsdx View Post
    I guess I'm 'sad' then. I don't even own a cell phone.
    well that makes even then .....I haven't had a land line in 5 years.




  12. #12
    Canuck rhymes with f*ck
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Quote Originally Posted by PreTTy PeTe View Post
    well that makes even then .....I haven't had a land line in 5 years.
    Ah. We cancel each other out. The balance of the universe is maintained, thanks to the two of us.

  13. #13
    Do I dare to eat a peach?
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    I was going to send a messenger torareboy with a note, but then thought I'd send a letter but then thought I'd send a telegram, but then thought I'd phone.

    Protesting too much are we, ladies?

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    Canuck rhymes with f*ck
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Low-tech:


    High-tech:

  15. #15
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Maybe they thought a). you could be not at home or b). you may not be able to hear someone knocking?

    I usually do that, I mean. Because somehow knocking does not always work, I usually give the person a call to tell them I'm about to reach his/her place.
    come now, my child. if we were planning to harm you, do you think
    we'd be lurking here beside the path in the darkest part of the forest?

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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Quote Originally Posted by rareboy View Post
    So for the first time in my life...someone has stood outside our house and called to tell me that they were here to mow the lawn instead of just knocking on the door. I've seen a big change over the last ten years in how the kids who mow our lawns interact socially...we have gone from the sweet and outgoing kid who felt perfectly comfortable knocking and then walking in to the house to get a drink or use the bathroom or to make his own lunch, to a series of increasingly disconnected teenagers who don't ever unplug from their I-Brain or stop texting to whoever they haven't texted for the last 5 minutes and would never step inside the house.

    It is almost impossible now to get anyone under the age of 25 in our office to interact with real humans and harder and harder to get them to cold call anyone. This week I blew up at one of the 'shy' young interns who didn't call as I had asked but sent an email and thought it was okay because the other person hadn't responded for two days to a question that needed answering the moment I asked it.

    Rant over.
    I was having a discussion on this exact same topic with a friend last night, Rareboy. I'm pretty much a firm believer in something: intelligent kids at 12 are pretty generally intelligent people at 18 or 21, too. Rude or selfish people at 21 generally still are at 31 or 41.

    There may be more tools today that immediately give away someone's social awkwardness, lack of manners or lack of consideration for other people. The discussion I was having last night was actually within the context of how rude I consider it when I'm out with a friend or on a date and their phone comes out too often, particularly if it requires me to sit and stare at them for 6 seconds while they completely space out to type a text response or read something on their phone. But I do believe that rude people are rude people much like chronically late people are selfish people who do not respect your time, and the phone didn't make them that way.

    I say give the kids in your office once chance, if the phone is a problem tell them that aside from reasonable need-to-use instances, you expect their attention to be on their work or their customers or their task or the fact that a coworker is addressing them, and not on checking themselves into 4square or answering a new message on facebook. I do think that many people with fancy phones dramatically overestimate the degree to which they consider themselves "great multitaskers" and greatly underestimate the degree to which their phone causes regular moments of their brain oozing out of their ear as they stop everything they are doing, even halting midsentence in a conversation, as they abruptly read or check something on their phone or mash a text reply, which is how it looks to anyone who was trying to talk to them. At that point anyone worthwhile is going to take your admonition seriously and put the phone away at work or leave it on silent, as I do. If they don't, they're simply bad mannered and have taken a position about how seriously they respect you and the job they have with you.

    I mentioned to my friend that the phone coming out for really more than anything other than directions we both need or "sorry about that, work told me they were going to need to call and get my pin number" is pretty much a dealbreaker for me on a date. If I feel in any way that I am competing in conversation to whatever ongoing IM chats they had going on with their friends on their phone, I lose all interest in the person, because my phone is on silent in my pocket when I go out one on one with anybody, and I expect the same.

    My 15 1/2 cents.

  17. #17
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    I thing I will twerk rareboy.

    It looks he needs a good one.




  18. #18
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    RB did you ask him why he called instead of knocked? Or when he calls next time just say "Well Knock when you arrive" CLICK. Force train these insolent little sex pigs. A poorly trained boy is the fault of the master.
    Everyone can be great, because everyone can serve.
    ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.


  19. #19
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Quote Originally Posted by palbert View Post
    I was going to send a messenger torareboy with a note, but then thought I'd send a letter but then thought I'd send a telegram, but then thought I'd phone.

    Protesting too much are we, ladies?
    But Lewis. You aren't standing 15 feet away from my door. And if you can send a messenger...we'd love to send one back.

  20. #20
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Quote Originally Posted by JayHawk View Post
    RB did you ask him why he called instead of knocked? Or when he calls next time just say "Well Knock when you arrive" CLICK. Force train these insolent little sex pigs. A poorly trained boy is the fault of the master.
    I actually did say to (her) that there is an analogue app for getting me to come out of the house called knocking and I did reinforce that I would like her to come to the door and let me know she's here rather than standing out in the driveway for 10 minutes expecting me to appear by magic. The weirdest part is that the key is in the tractor, she knows where the gas can is kept and shouldn't even need to have any contact with us. I miss our best lawn boy more and more every year.

  21. #21
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Yeah i had a great kid doing the job in Connecticut and then in Memphis it was horrible. Odd thing about the young man that was doing the lawn in CT, he was 14 at the time (I think), a few years later i was in a gay club and guess who the shot boy was ? Grinding all his glory on a brass pole. He did a damn good job at that too.
    Everyone can be great, because everyone can serve.
    ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.


  22. #22
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Did you update your mower to the Toro 7.0? You're not making him mow with an outdated 6.2, are you?

    Lex

  23. #23
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    sometimes, i think smart phones are smarter than some people. how does a damn device control you like that where it's using you more than you're using it.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  24. #24
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    It really has and the texting is ridic unless you just need to convey a short message, but it's not for conversations.
    In his autumn, before the winter, comes man's last mad surge of youth

  25. #25
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Perhaps if someone is looking at their phone while talking to you it is a silent hint to step up or your game or get to the point..... bwahahahahhahah


    Wait RB you hired a gurl to mow the lawn..... what are you thinking? There is little chance she will pull her soaked with sweat teeshirt off that sexy body and dab the forehead.... and if she did you wouldnt wanna look.....
    Everyone can be great, because everyone can serve.
    ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.


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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Quote Originally Posted by JayHawk View Post
    Perhaps if someone is looking at their phone while talking to you it is a silent hint to step up or your game or get to the point..... bwahahahahhaha
    It has nothing to do with boring someone over to looking at their phone in desperation. Sometimes just seeing what they're doing when you pull up will already tell you how it's going to go.

  27. #27
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Quote Originally Posted by JayHawk View Post
    Perhaps if someone is looking at their phone while talking to you it is a silent hint to step up or your game or get to the point..... bwahahahahhahah
    I've always assumed this to be the case. If they reach for their phone while I'm talking to them, it means I'm failing to connect with them. It's saying "Well, you're not engaging me, so I'll find something that does." And I can either work harder to try to engage them, or disengage.

    Lex

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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Quote Originally Posted by xbuzzerx View Post
    It has nothing to do with boring someone over to looking at their phone in desperation. Sometimes just seeing what they're doing when you pull up will already tell you how it's going to go.
    I'm just busting your balls. I agree socially. Business wise it depends on what all they have their fingers into and what they monitor at any given moment. I have worked with some of the most compelling and warm individuals who through necessity are doing five things at once and still manage to ask questions of each that are deep and obviously completely connected to what is going on in the conversation.
    Everyone can be great, because everyone can serve.
    ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.


  29. #29
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    I see this a lot. I do have a cell phone.... in fact I had one when usually only movie producers could afford one. They were pretty big back then... LOL!

    But nowadays I still keep a cell phone. Only catch is that's it's JUST a phone, and it's pre-paid. I figured out years ago that I won't be a slave to a little device, nor an $80/month bill. For.... what??

    I went to lunch with a few people I worked with.... I could not believe that we all sat at the same table and they were TEXTING each other instead of talking.

    We are SCREWED as a society.

  30. #30
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Quote Originally Posted by JayHawk View Post
    I'm just busting your balls. I agree socially. Business wise it depends on what all they have their fingers into and what they monitor at any given moment. I have worked with some of the most compelling and warm individuals who through necessity are doing five things at once and still manage to ask questions of each that are deep and obviously completely connected to what is going on in the conversation.
    "OH YEAH I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN, THIS ONE TI......" *eyes shift to phone. Thumb lifts up to phone as eyes scan back and forth*

    -- six seconds later--

    "OH UM YEAH SO THIS GUY.."

  31. #31
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Quote Originally Posted by G-Lexington View Post
    I've always assumed this to be the case. If they reach for their phone while I'm talking to them, it means I'm failing to connect with them. It's saying "Well, you're not engaging me, so I'll find something that does." And I can either work harder to try to engage them, or disengage.

    Lex
    Yeah... i would agree on a date or at a first meeting. i know plenty of people have no social grace as well but sometimes it could be more important. For instance, when my Mom was in the hospital, anything coming from Cincinnati was engaged regardless of who i was talking to....

    So is it bad to look or do people just get upset when you respond?

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by xbuzzerx View Post
    "OH YEAH I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN, THIS ONE TI......" *eyes shift to phone. Thumb lifts up to phone as eyes scan back and forth*

    -- six seconds later--

    "OH UM YEAH SO THIS GUY.."
    Thats just a tar tar ---- me being politically incorrect and physical disability insensitive.
    Everyone can be great, because everyone can serve.
    ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.


  32. #32
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Quote Originally Posted by freefall View Post
    Maybe they thought a). you could be not at home or b). you may not be able to hear someone knocking?

    I usually do that, I mean. Because somehow knocking does not always work, I usually give the person a call to tell them I'm about to reach his/her place.
    If I'm going somewhere for a job, I'll also call ahead.

    But in terms of getting calls, I'll just look at my phone to see who it is (though outside the light rarely allows me to read the screen). And I'm unapologetic for looking, because the reason I got a cell in the first place was so my elderly parents could call in case of need, and until my mom follows my dad in departure, I only ignore my phone if I've first called her and let her know I'll be doing so. I always take calls from her, though also from the doctor.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  33. #33
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Quote Originally Posted by Orlandude View Post
    Instead of using technology as a tool, we have allowed it to alter the the way we live. I often wonder why they call it "social media". There is nothing "social" about talking to a machine and reading words on a screen. Sad. Eventually this avoiding human face to face contact will be our undoing. Technology cannot replace the human dynamic.
    Kind of ironic.

  34. #34
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Quote Originally Posted by rareboy View Post
    But Lewis. You aren't standing 15 feet away from my door. And if you can send a messenger...we'd love to send one back.
    Why let them get that far? They call me to open the gate. I'd rather be bothered by the phone than certain sects, and others.

    If you are uninvited and unexpected you are also unwelcome

    ~Ann Landers
    (Whatever the hell the tilde means.)

  35. #35
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    I just upgraded to a smart phone today, I am now ready to scream, but as all old farts do I will figure the damn thing out.
    I have to agree with your point, I asked myself if the guys at work can fuck without a phone in their hands, how do they wipe their asses?
    They can't put the damn things down.

  36. #36
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Well this is one of the many reasons why I still refuse to give in and change my 7 years old phone. Kids these days don't even put down their gadgets when their parents talk to them. It's apparently so when rink mum brings their kids to practice and they spend more than an hour of their time playing their gadgets.

  37. #37

    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Y'all are old as fuck. I didn't get my first cell phone until I was 22 or 23 and they had already become mainstream by the time I was 18. I don't begrudge anyone who has one and have found it easier to stay in contact with and contact people.

    The only thing I've noticed is that most of the people I text with have atrocious spelling and grammar. It's not abbreviation diarrhea either. It's enough to make me think that they defiantly[sic] have problems with there[sic] understanding of English.

  38. #38
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Quote Originally Posted by rareboy View Post
    So for the first time in my life...someone has stood outside our house and called to tell me that they were here to mow the lawn instead of just knocking on the door. I've seen a big change over the last ten years in how the kids who mow our lawns interact socially...we have gone from the sweet and outgoing kid who felt perfectly comfortable knocking and then walking in to the house to get a drink or use the bathroom or to make his own lunch, to a series of increasingly disconnected teenagers who don't ever unplug from their I-Brain or stop texting to whoever they haven't texted for the last 5 minutes and would never step inside the house.

    It is almost impossible now to get anyone under the age of 25 in our office to interact with real humans and harder and harder to get them to cold call anyone. This week I blew up at one of the 'shy' young interns who didn't call as I had asked but sent an email and thought it was okay because the other person hadn't responded for two days to a question that needed answering the moment I asked it.

    Rant over.
    ahh don't be too harsh on the texting generation.
    I think texting for business is clearer because it is in writing, therefore no mis-understanding and you can read back to prove who says what .

    By the way, i prefer texting because i'm a stutterer LOL
    Last edited by Telstra; September 22nd, 2013 at 04:40 PM.


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  39. #39
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Quote Originally Posted by Telstra View Post
    ahh don't be too harsh on the texting generation.
    I think texting for business is clearer because it is in writing, therefore no mis-understanding and you can read back to prove who says what .

    By the way, i prefer texting because i'm a stutterer LOL
    The number of times I've seen people with a major dispute over the terms of a contract present their text messages in People's Court would seem to dispute that.

  40. #40
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Quote Originally Posted by xbuzzerx View Post
    The number of times I've seen people with a major dispute over the terms of a contract present their text messages in People's Court would seem to dispute that.
    I never had any dispute.
    If a quote is $100, it can't be changed to $200 after everything is agreed on.


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  41. #41
    Do I dare to eat a peach?
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Quote Originally Posted by xbuzzerx View Post
    The number of times I've seen people with a major dispute over the terms of a contract present their text messages in People's Court would seem to dispute that.
    But "You have the law on your side."

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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    there's a place for everything... given the choice, I always prefer to communicate at work via email or IM. not because I hate the phone, but because it gives me a written record of everything said, that I can save forever and run searches against whenever needed.

    of course, when an immediate response is needed, calling is the way to go.

    that said, cold calls are awful no matter what. worst job I ever had was cold call sales.

  43. #43
    Dejavudoo
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    I hosted a couple of young guys from Louisiana who were on their way through, Couchsurfing to California and places West.

    They were here a couple of days. Cooked breakfast for them. Took them out to a nice restaurant.

    When they were here at the house, they tried to sit in the living room once and visit with me. They continually looked at their phones, laughing at junk they were sending each other from the web. They didn't even hear the conversation when it lapsed for lack of their response.

    It was abysmal for guest behavior.

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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Quote Originally Posted by Audio Tech View Post
    I see this a lot. I do have a cell phone.... in fact I had one when usually only movie producers could afford one. They were pretty big back then... LOL!

    But nowadays I still keep a cell phone. Only catch is that's it's JUST a phone, and it's pre-paid. I figured out years ago that I won't be a slave to a little device, nor an $80/month bill. For.... what??

    I went to lunch with a few people I worked with.... I could not believe that we all sat at the same table and they were TEXTING each other instead of talking.

    We are SCREWED as a society.
    well, i don't think this is common and it is abit extreme texting.


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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Don't worry, I'm not socially-challenged so you are safe from my bimbo-ness...
    "... You think the only people who are people
    Are the people who look and think like you ..." - Colours of the Wind by Vanessa Williams

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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Let's not blame everything on younger generations and kids. There are plenty of men 35+ who do the same thing. I see it in gay bars all the time. Adults standing there like sheep sipping on their booze and communicating with hookup apps but not with people next to them. Such atmosphere deters you from even attempting basic communication; it's like people are not interested to hear your voice or look at your eyes because they're glued to the screens.

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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Quote Originally Posted by RaKroma View Post
    Let's not blame everything on younger generations and kids. There are plenty of men 35+ who do the same thing. I see it in gay bars all the time. Adults standing there like sheep sipping on their booze and communicating with hookup apps but not with people next to them. Such atmosphere deters you from even attempting basic communication; it's like people are not interested to hear your voice or look at your eyes because they're glued to the screens.
    That was more or less what I was trying to say too. The fact that younger people are more likely to be on these phones may give away more often their lack of social graces, but the phone didn't create the lack of social grace.

  48. #48
    Dejavudoo
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Quote Originally Posted by RaKroma View Post
    Let's not blame everything on younger generations and kids. There are plenty of men 35+ who do the same thing.
    True, but it is disproportionately in the young, although not solely their domain.

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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Quote Originally Posted by whitedavo View Post
    Y'all are old as fuck. I didn't get my first cell phone until I was 22 or 23 and they had already become mainstream by the time I was 18. I don't begrudge anyone who has one and have found it easier to stay in contact with and contact people.

    The only thing I've noticed is that most of the people I text with have atrocious spelling and grammar. It's not abbreviation diarrhea either. It's enough to make me think that they defiantly[sic] have problems with there[sic] understanding of English.
    My first Cell Phone was when I was 42 years old, and that was in 2004...now I am 50!

  50. #50
    JUB Addict Anders123's Avatar
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    Re: I am totally convinced now...Cellphones have made kids socially retarded

    Out of all of the catalysts for misplaced hysteria, the topic of texting is the most infuriating. Especially when people start with this melodramatic 'weeping for society' garbage. It's just like people who don't think twice when they see somebody reading a book or a newspaper at the park or on the train, but will scoff and complain if they see somebody there with a tablet despite the fact that they're also devices used for reading books or visiting news aggregation websites.

    I wonder though why it's automatically assumed that mobile phones have caused social anxiety, but not that they're affording more opportunities to those who suffer from it. If this girl was so terrified of knocking on a stranger's door, I imagine that she wouldn't have taken such a job without her phone there to act as a bit of a safety blanket. It would have probably gone to somebody who had the confidence to knock instead, and you wouldn't even be aware that she (the timid girl who lacked confidence) exists. Both social awkwardness and anxiety are nothing new, it's just that people who suffered from them didn't have any less confronting forms of communication available in the past. Workplace incompetence is nothing new either, it's just manifesting itself in new and different ways.

    Honestly though, you'd have to be pretty disconnected to believe that it's customary for friends to sit around a table and text each other instead of talking. Nobody does that. Texting isn't replacing actual conversation, and society is not screwed because people use their mobile phones. If somebody decides to check Facebook during dinner or a date, it's not the phone's fault; it's the fault of the person for disregarding their present company to satisfy their own obsession. The phone isn't making them do anything, it's simply allowing for them to exhibit rude behaviour if they so choose.

    Absolutely every generation ever has viewed change among youth as some sort of impending doom. How can some of you lack the awareness to recognise you're doing the exact same thing?
    Last edited by Anders123; September 22nd, 2013 at 08:43 PM.

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