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  1. #1
    Sex God
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    A mosquito bit me.

    He bit me 3 times.

    What should I do?

    I don't want to irritate them.

    I don't like ointments.
    Last edited by Pcp3t3; September 16th, 2013 at 09:27 AM.

  2. #2

    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Put just a little toothpaste on and around each 'bite'.

    It has to be paste, though, not jell.

  3. #3
    Sex God youfiad's Avatar
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    I get so confused when people talk about mosquito bites.. I was in France and people always talked about a mosquito bite that they got, even if it were just 1 bite. In Minnesota, we don't talk about mosquito bites unless we got attacked by several hundred in one night (which is actually quite possible). Most of the times when I get bitten by one, I don't have an inflammatory reaction... I'm guessing this isn't the norm elsewhere in the world with drier climates? People may not have immunological immunity?

    My suggestion for you is to just ignore it. Sometimes, when I have one, I poke it with a needle. That way, I go from itching one that bothers me to having a smalle sharp pain (which is easier to deal with)

  4. #4

    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    ^ So you never hear anyone sing the 'skeeter on my peter' song in Minnesota?

  5. #5
    ecce homo rareboy's Avatar
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Good lord.

    Are you from another planet by chance?

    You've never had a mosquito bite before?

    Just live with it. The itch will go away.

    Don't scratch them. Or do. Whatever.

  6. #6

    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kahaih View Post
    ^ So you never hear anyone sing the 'skeeter on my peter' song in Minnesota?


    Here's one version from John Valby,


    There's a skeeter on my peter
    whack it off
    There's a skeeter on my peter
    whack it off
    There's a dozen on my cousin
    I can hear the bastard buzzin'
    There's a skeeter on my peter
    whack it off

    I was playing with my
    one-eyed trouser worm
    When I shot a wad
    it blew up in the air
    I should have aimed it better
    it hit my Irish Setter
    while my mom was combing out his hair

    She was drivin' down the road
    doing a-hundred and ninety nine
    and the chain on her motorcycle broke
    Well they found her in the grass
    with the muffler up her ass
    and her titties playing "Dixie"
    on the spokes

    Whack it off

  7. #7

    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kahaih View Post

    There's a skeeter on my peter
    whack it off
    There's a skeeter on my peter
    whack it off
    There's a dozen on my cousin
    I can hear the bastard buzzin'
    There's a skeeter on my peter
    whack it off
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

  8. #8
    bathes in gluten
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Three times, huh?

    Did you witness the bites? Are they in a row?
    pro bonobo

  9. #9
    ...and I'm not sorry JUB Friend Soilwork's Avatar
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    you now have malaria and West Nile virus.

    you'll be dead by next week.

    Sorry.
    Gentlemen.... Thank you.

  10. #10
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    I am willing to irritate them with a compressive blow from the palm of my hand. Not only willing but well practiced.
    Americans need to keep their guns so they can protect themselves from gun violence just like Nancy Lanza did. And like Chris Kyle did. And like Gabby Giffords did. And like Tom Clements did. And like Michael Piemonte. And Joseph Wilcox.

  11. #11
    Vannie
    Guest

    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    I got bit too! No wait,thats my third nipple!

  12. #12
    JUB Addict Taz's Avatar
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Pcp3t3 View Post
    He bit me 3 times.

    What should I do?

    I don't want to irritate them.

    I don't like ointments.
    Get some tomatoes and milk and flour.

    Cut open the tomatoes and drain the seeds and liquid into the bowl, toss the flesh. (I like to eat it)

    Mix in a small amount of flour, enough to make a thick little paste.

    Now fill the bowl with the paste with milk until the very top of the bowl.

    Carefully take the bowl and set it in te fridge for exactly 5 minutes (watch the clock, a few seconds over doesn't hurt but don't let it too long)

    Remove the bowl from the fridge and turn in a circle three times. Try not to spill anything, but it doesn't matter if some is lost.

    Throw the bowl out your kitchen window. If there is a person outside within range, preferably throw the bowl at them. (The mixture is more effective if you hit someone)

    Stop bitching about goddamn mosquito bites.

    Viola! No ointment and you're fine!
    You show courage the brave dream of

    Gallop on my old warhorse

  13. #13
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    It would have been a she that bit you, the males do not bite.

    Hope you're getting better.

  14. #14

    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Soilwork View Post
    you now have malaria and West Nile virus.

    you'll be dead by next week.

    Sorry.
    ^^^^
    This is my paranoia with Mosquitoes.
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

  15. #15
    Are you man enough? unloadonme's Avatar
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Pcp3t3 View Post
    He bit me 3 times.
    He was a she. Only the female mosquito sucks blood.

  16. #16
    JUB Addict umjreon88's Avatar
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Quote Originally Posted by unloadonme View Post
    He was a she. Only the female mosquito sucks blood.
    True, to replenish the needed nutrients to lay its eggs...

    Worry only if you are in a tropical climate. A place like my home country (near the equator) where you can either get Dengue fever or Malaria, better recognise what the symptoms are or it's gonna be a real rollercoaster of a nightmare...
    "... You think the only people who are people
    Are the people who look and think like you ..." - Colours of the Wind by Vanessa Williams

  17. #17
    Soaking It Up. BENDERBOY's Avatar
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Bite her back.
    "You may only be one person to the world, but you may also be the world to one person"
    - anonymous quote.

  18. #18
    美しいヨーロッパ Scealle's Avatar
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    I hate all blood feeding type bugs. Mosquitoes, fleas, bed bugs These pests are what i dread so much about nature. If you don't like applying medicine, I guess you could resist scratching them and eventually they will heal. Mosquito bites don't last as long as flea bites anyways (flea and bed bug could last weeks or months )

  19. #19
    The old familiar sting blackbeltninja's Avatar
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Quote Originally Posted by unloadonme View Post
    He was a she. Only the female mosquito sucks blood.
    Chicks, eh? Eh? Tsk.

    -d-
    Members: [insert appropriate/relevant wise saying or deep thought here]
    Thank you.


    I hope you get this message.
    Comments welcome.

  20. #20
    JUB Addict cgymike's Avatar
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Another plus for Seattle - almost no mozzies.
    Your post comments are forwarded to the CIA.

  21. #21

    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Soilwork View Post
    you now have malaria and West Nile virus.

    you'll be dead by next week.....
    Mosquitoes carry more insidious diseases in my country.

    Encephalitis doesn't kill you immediately after the one exposure but it stays in your blood. We had many instances with Aussie soldiers bitten in World War II and suffering spasmodic attacks over the decades.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ross_River_fever
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murray_...phalitis_virus

  22. #22
    JUB Addict chrisrobin's Avatar
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    .
    For everybody: a simple swab of ammonia will do the trick. Mosquito stuff is acid. Ammonia is the opposite (base). Itch no more!

    In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.

  23. #23
    Come again? dereperez's Avatar
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kahaih View Post
    Here's one version from John Valby,


    There's a skeeter on my peter
    whack it off
    There's a skeeter on my peter
    whack it off
    There's a dozen on my cousin
    I can hear the bastard buzzin'
    There's a skeeter on my peter
    whack it off

    I was playing with my
    one-eyed trouser worm
    When I shot a wad
    it blew up in the air
    I should have aimed it better
    it hit my Irish Setter
    while my mom was combing out his hair

    She was drivin' down the road
    doing a-hundred and ninety nine
    and the chain on her motorcycle broke
    Well they found her in the grass
    with the muffler up her ass
    and her titties playing "Dixie"
    on the spokes

    Whack it off
    I haven't a mosquito (to my knowledge) land on my peter, but I've had a fly do it before. I was taking my morning whiz and he/she decided to make a random landing. One of the cons of morning wood.

  24. #24
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    fucking hate mosquitos besides disease carriers that kill thousands of innocent people ---what is there function in the grand scheme of the lifecycle?---food for bats maybe.

  25. #25

    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Quote Originally Posted by nycguydowntown View Post
    … ---what is there function in the grand scheme of the lifecycle?…
    I bet David Suzuki will tell us that mozzies have a fundamental function in the grand scheme of our planet.

  26. #26
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Quote Originally Posted by BENDERBOY View Post
    Bite her back.
    You git , you beat me to it............

    Do not use toothpaste !

  27. #27
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Quote Originally Posted by nycguydowntown View Post
    fucking hate mosquitos besides disease carriers that kill thousands of innocent people ---what is there function in the grand scheme of the lifecycle?---food for bats maybe.
    They are one of natures most serious killers . Accounting for millions of deaths .

  28. #28
    ForeverSingle+Unloveable 72-Jay's Avatar
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Pcp3t3
    What should I do?
    Just leave it alone...the bump will be gone in a couple hours or less (at least thats how it is for me)...those little vampires are really just a minor annoyance to me LOL
    Its been a couple months since I've even been bit by a mosquito LOL guess they're kinda rare where I live (I did see 1 a week or so ago though. (maybe I shoulda caught it & kept it as a pet ?? )


    Quote Originally Posted by Kahaih
    There's a skeeter on my peter
    whack it off
    ...
    LOL LOL

  29. #29
    huh?
    FPNY's Avatar
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    I bite the head off them Mosquitos...
    FPNY
    Annoying JUBBERS since 2003

  30. #30

    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    I get them frequently for some reason no matter what I do. I've noticed that applying an ice pack to the bite for a few minutes really helps alot with the itching.

  31. #31
    Dejavudoo
    Guest

    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    He's probably dead now. We can close the thread.

  32. #32
    JUB Addict Anders123's Avatar
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Soilwork View Post
    you now have malaria and West Nile virus.

    you'll be dead by next week.

    Sorry.
    WebMD, is that you?

  33. #33
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Anders123 View Post
    WebMD, is that you?
    , Nope , though i think Jasun and i have the same very dry and very sharp sense of humour.............

  34. #34
    The old familiar sting blackbeltninja's Avatar
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Speaking as JUB's resident malariologist, it is not malaria season yet. At least, not here in the southern hemisphere.

    You filthy northerners might not be so lucky, mind.

    -d-
    Members: [insert appropriate/relevant wise saying or deep thought here]
    Thank you.


    I hope you get this message.
    Comments welcome.

  35. #35
    Dejavudoo
    Guest

    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    If there is any irony in this universe, it is a fly bite and he has sleeping sickness now.

  36. #36
    Virginia Is for Lovers Alnitak's Avatar
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Put some windex on it.

  37. #37
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Alnitak View Post
    Put some windex on it.
    LOL

    Thank you Mr. Portokalos.
    Americans need to keep their guns so they can protect themselves from gun violence just like Nancy Lanza did. And like Chris Kyle did. And like Gabby Giffords did. And like Tom Clements did. And like Michael Piemonte. And Joseph Wilcox.

  38. #38
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Quote Originally Posted by blackbeltninja View Post
    Speaking as JUB's resident malariologist, it is not malaria season yet. At least, not here in the southern hemisphere.

    You filthy northerners might not be so lucky, mind.

    -d-
    Mozzies all dead or dormant here. Okay not quite; I got bitten yesterday, little bugger, but nothing like May or early June. And the worst we can get is a touch of West Nile Fever. Okay, well Ontarians can get it. I don't think it has made it this far across the continent yet.
    Americans need to keep their guns so they can protect themselves from gun violence just like Nancy Lanza did. And like Chris Kyle did. And like Gabby Giffords did. And like Tom Clements did. And like Michael Piemonte. And Joseph Wilcox.

  39. #39
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Bankside,
    He's actually just echoing Chris Robin - in a recognizable way.


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  40. #40
    JUB Addict vulgar_newcomer's Avatar
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Quote Originally Posted by dereperez View Post
    I haven't a mosquito (to my knowledge) land on my peter, but I've had a fly do it before. I was taking my morning whiz and he/she decided to make a random landing. One of the cons of morning wood.
    I was cutting the grass last week wearing cargo shorts but commando otherwise. I thought a fucking mosquito bit me because something bit my cock. Wow what a ugly bite swelled on the side of my dick. Next day it definitely was a fire ant that bit my dick and not a mosquito this time. Fire ants suck badly.
    Last edited by vulgar_newcomer; September 17th, 2013 at 05:40 PM.

  41. #41
    I spell spelled spelt
    gsdx's Avatar
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.


  42. #42
    BOO!!! Mwahahahaha!!!!! Willie Boy's Avatar
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Pcp3t3 View Post
    He bit me 3 times.

    What should I do?

    I don't want to irritate them.

    I don't like ointments.
    You must be some kind of pussy to be so affected by a male mosquito "bite". The females are the ones that you gotta watch out for. They're the ones with the "poison", the ones that try to suck your blood. But you were bitten by a "he", and not a she...... unless it was a cross-dressing skeeter???
    It's never too early in the year,
    to spread some goodwill cheer!

  43. #43
    Defender of Downtrodden
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Neil,
    Leave it to you to find the Killer Mosquito signs.


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  44. #44
    JUB Addict SaskGuy's Avatar
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    I get bit my mosquitoes all the time. Just leave them alone and you'll be fine.
    I'm actually allergic to them... they swell up to about the size of a dime! Bug spray keeps them away though.

  45. #45
    I spell spelled spelt
    gsdx's Avatar
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Quote Originally Posted by DonQuixote View Post
    Neil,
    Leave it to you to find the Killer Mosquito signs.
    Some mosquitoes bite. Some take you home to feed the family.

  46. #46
    Defender of Downtrodden
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Apparemment!


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  47. #47
    JUB Addict T-Rexx's Avatar
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Pcp3t3 View Post
    He bit me 3 times.
    She bit you three times.


    Oh, sorry. Unloadonme beat me to it!
    Last edited by T-Rexx; September 17th, 2013 at 07:45 PM.

  48. #48
    bathes in gluten
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Well, since the OP never answered my question, I'll say why I asked it. (#8, above.)

    Bedbugs bite "three times" in a row. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. That's their m.o.

    On the other hand, it seems unusual to me that the same mosquito might bite three times.

    I'm officially terrified of bedbugs, given the awful, AWFUL stories I've heard of them from others. It provokes a paranoia in me around the number "3".

    If you've been bitten by any bug "3" times, I'll flee you.
    pro bonobo

  49. #49
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Mosquitoes bit me too.
    I slapped them and sometimes i see blood.


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  50. #50
    ecce homo rareboy's Avatar
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    Re: A mosquito bit me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dejavudoo View Post
    If there is any irony in this universe, it is a fly bite and he has sleeping sickness now.
    lol. Brilliant.

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