JustUsBoys.com gay porn forum

logo

remove these banner ads by becoming a JUB Supporter.

Results 1 to 13 of 13
  1. #1
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Bisexual
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    7

    Code of Conduct

    Tales of a Fool......

    Let me preface this true story with the statement that I have NO ILLUSIONs about my "place" in the gay-dating-food-chain. At the time this begins, I am a 45 yr old homely chubby ginger bearish kinda guy. The kind of guy that is transparent, not noticeable; usually "invisible". Not the kind of guy that the following happens to:

    Approximately three years ago I was contacted on a site by a guy with an amazingly attractive picture who just really showered me with incredible compliments. Now, being one who never really has this sort of thing happen, I didn't put much stock into the "realness" of his message. I could see that he was a creator of an online gay dating site, so naturally I assumed he was just trying to drum up business. In the interim leading up to the event in the next paragraph, we did have a few instances of communication. I kept the same opinion throughout that time.

    Then, lo and behold, in the parade at Southern Decadence 2010, I see a familiar figure standing in the bed of a pickup truck; him. As the truck approached and came to a stop in the intersection, I excused myself from my party and approached. I attempted to introduce myself and very quickly became dumbstruck. He was ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL....and as far as I could tell didn't know me from a hole in the ground. I just walked away feeling like a complete idiot and laughed at myself the whole way. I don't know what possessed me to think I could have made any kind of impression.

    Skipping over many details in this story, I jump to arriving home the next day. I sat down to check my email and found three very personal and exciting emails from Him. I was again dumbstruck, but still a little skeptical, so I "tried" to play it cool. He had told me that he had taken pics of me from his vantage point; which of course I didn't believe; and he also said he had taken a video. I quickly found out that these statements were true. I was hooked. I absolutely couldn't believe that this beautiful man could in any way shape or form find me attractive. But he did!!

    Skipping over so many more details, let me just say that a long-distance correspondence ensued. Here's where the "fool" part kicks in. In hindsight, I see that I immediately skipped over all of the obligatory "steps". I instantly wanted us to be married. (humorous exaggeration) Of course there were roadblocks. The first one was that he was in a very long term relationship; a waning relationship, but still a relationship. I decided that I could work with that.

    The second significant roadblock (from my perspective) was "delayed" communications from him. I took it in stride because of his presence online. I began to assume that I wasn't the only love-struck fool charmed by his "way". One of the things he had initially said to me was that he "wanted to get to know me and how would we make that happen". Well, it didn't take long for me to become impatient about that, so I took the first step. I flew out to meet him. I had made a personal commitment that the trip would NOT be a booty call. I wanted to see how real this guy was.

    The first meeting was nothing short of ELECTRIC. I was absolutely blown away. But there were certain disappointments that caused me to leave thinking I had made a mistake (more details omitted here). Hindsight: I was the thirsty fool that assumed too much. But the correspondence carried on. I had high hopes of him travelling to see me, but his circumstances prevented this. So, I made a second visit. This visit was a bit more cool. We had had some dust-ups in the interim because of my insecurities (and over-reaching notions).

    Even after all of that, he still kept talking to me, and chastising me for doubting his sincerity at times. The more this happened, the more I lowered my low-self-esteem-guards and believed. It was so difficult. And I was in love.

    FINALLY, one day I got the best news.....He had left the BF!!! and moved to somewhere else. Well, it wasn't quite all that. The BF re-appeared very shortly. Then after some time, they really did split. I was still waiting for a visit, but the closest he came was Southern Decadence again (2011) so I drove over for dinner on the Thursday. It was an odd visit. A tropical storm was moving thru that year. I decided to see him again on Saturday; couldn't find him; the imagination went wild; ALL of the insecurities came raging back with a vengance; and we had a big falling out. It hurt so much.

    Like they say, time heals, and we started communicating again. I was still in love. I had to give credence that he still would talk to me. Again, patience waned and I made another trip to visit. This time, I wanted more than a visit; and I got it. It was....WOW. Yet there were aspects of the visit that felt "strained". Something was up. I tried to find it, but he mostly denied and again chastised my doubt.

    Skipping details and fast-fwd to most recent. I find out in conversation that there had been another "me" for quite some time. That venture had ended badly and now he was hinting to me that "it might be time" for these things to happen that I have been wanting to happen. I was still trying to process this new-found knowledge and rectify it with things I had been told for the past three years when BAM!.... he shut the conversation down and basically ended our "relationship".

    It literally took me a few days of processing to realize that I had been played; that I had been the "backup plan"; that so many of my gut-feelings were absolutely on point.

    And that I still love him.

    This is an absolutely true story. I am not without fault in this narrative. But I was a fool.
    I hope that it can be seen by someone like me and he can know that he is worth more than allowing himself to be taken for a fool.

    I should have been more "cool" from the beginning. It would have changed this whole story. I wish I had been.

    If you've made it this far, I thank you for "listening". Huggz.

  2. #2
    JUB Addict HunterM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Bisexual
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    6,468

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Tales of a Fool......

    Thank you for sharing.

  3. #3
    JUB Addict Georgiadude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Atlanta
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    1,921

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Tales of a Fool......

    I read it but don't have much to offer. You've edited a lot of details and that's fine but idk what to say. Many people get played and taken advantage of. Its easy to fall into the trap some of these people put out there. They find guy's that are vulnerable and get what they can out of them. It may not be money either. It may be emotional support and validation. They feed off the praise you give them. It makes them feel empowered. Who knows what his true intentions were but you did involve yourself with someone in a relationship. One is seldom chosen first in those situations. It's not that you're not worthy of having a beautiful guy. I've dated an Abercrombie model and trust me...... I'm nowhere near a model. You need to work on your self esteem and avoid attached men that are long distances away. Don't be played for a fool a second time. Best if luck

    Steven

  4. #4
    JUB Addict
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Amsterdam
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Widower
    Posts
    9,580

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Tales of a Fool......

    OP, your description of yourself makes me think you could be well appreciated in some circles.

  5. #5
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Bisexual
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    7

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Tales of a Fool......

    Quote Originally Posted by HunterM View Post
    Thank you for sharing.
    Thank you. I appreciate the note.

  6. #6
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Bisexual
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    7

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Tales of a Fool......

    Quote Originally Posted by Georgiadude View Post
    I read it but don't have much to offer. You've edited a lot of details and that's fine but idk what to say. Many people get played and taken advantage of. Its easy to fall into the trap some of these people put out there. They find guy's that are vulnerable and get what they can out of them. It may not be money either. It may be emotional support and validation. They feed off the praise you give them. It makes them feel empowered. Who knows what his true intentions were but you did involve yourself with someone in a relationship. One is seldom chosen first in those situations. It's not that you're not worthy of having a beautiful guy. I've dated an Abercrombie model and trust me...... I'm nowhere near a model. You need to work on your self esteem and avoid attached men that are long distances away. Don't be played for a fool a second time. Best if luck

    Steven
    Thanks, Steven. I have realized that I omitted one important thing. I believe He was sincere at many times. I believe he was truthful about his feelings of attraction. And I totally agree that I set myself up. I'm sure my story is not unique, but it is often not exposed. Thanks so much for your consideration. Best to you as well.

  7. #7
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Bisexual
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    7

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Tales of a Fool......

    Quote Originally Posted by Harke the Boeotarch View Post
    OP, your description of yourself makes me think you could be well appreciated in some circles.
    Thanks. That's very nice of you to say.

  8. #8
    On the Prowl epod85's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Partnered
    Posts
    53

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Tales of a Fool......

    OP that's a sad story, and it happens a lot. Don't feel down on yourself about it though, players will always be out there and they are really good at what they do. Perhaps the only thing you can take for yourself is that although in this situation you were the "backup plan" he did make the effort (although a half-hearted one) to woo you. Which shows that you have something to offer, so dust yourself and come to terms that although you may not be stereotypical hunk there are many different flavours of men out there. A little more self confidence and I'm sure you'll be able to find someone worth the effort you put into them.
    "There are those exquisite days that seem to drift by, like dandelions caught on a light summer breeze. Then there are the rest of them--the ones that drift by like dandelions superglued to the arse end of a bull elephant."

  9. #9
    Come again? dereperez's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Bisexual
    Posts
    3,799
    Blog Entries
    5

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Tales of a Fool......

    I'm sorry you had to go through all that drama. You are a very strong guy. Thanks for sharing something so raw and emotional.

  10. #10
    JUB Addict journo25's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    1,153

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Tales of a Fool......

    You sound like a great guy. Sweet. Trusting. I too am sorry you were played. I suspect most of us have experienced that at some time or other. There are plenty of users, jerks and assholes out there. Learn from the experience, believe in the strengths you bring to the table, and keep dating to find someone worthy. You have to kiss a lot of frogs... Don't forget to enjoy the kissing until the prince comes along.

  11. #11
    I'm now a grandfather! JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Married
    Posts
    6,061

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Tales of a Fool......

    I don't see evidence of a fool unless after all you know you're still flying to see. Him. I see evidence of a romantic who may have been too trusting and a bit naive. Just remember that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. You had some good times and some hopeful times and now you've learned something. There's nothing wrong with any of that. Best wishes.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

  12. #12
    JUB Addict umjreon88's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    London
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Available
    Posts
    1,118
    Blog Entries
    4

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Tales of a Fool......

    *Big, Strong Hug* I know your pain! Hopefully time will heal you and find you a man much more deserving of you.
    "... You think the only people who are people
    Are the people who look and think like you ..." - Colours of the Wind by Vanessa Williams

  13. #13
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Bisexual
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    7

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Tales of a Fool......

    been away for a bit...but wanted to express appreciation for the kind words from very kind strangers...i appreciate them so much.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | About JustUsBoys.com | Site Map | RSS | Webmasters | Advertise | Link to JUB | Report A Bug on this Page

Visit our sister sites: Broke Straight Boys | CollegeDudes.com | CollegeBoyPhysicals.com | RocketTube
All models appearing on JustUsBoys.com were over 18 at the time of photography. The records for sexually explicit images required by U.S. 2257 are kept by the
individual producers of the images. The location of the records is available by clicking the Custodian of Records link at the bottom of each gallery page.
© 2012 JustUsBoys.com. The JustUsBoys.com name and logo are registered trademarks. Labeled with ICRA and RTA. Member of ASACP and The Free Speech Coalition.