My name is Craig, I am 21 and I live in the UK.
I knew I was different when I was about 13-14, I looked at guys at school rather than looking at girls like all my other friends but I just suppressed them thoughts and carried on with my life. when I was 16 I decided to try and get a girlfriend and try to act on the most accepted way of life.. being "straight" I did get a girlfriend and I while being with her it was all fun and stuff but 2 years into the relationship... nothing was happening in anyway, as in sexually we hugged and held hands but it just felt so strange and not right for me. One day i tried to french kiss her... we did but it just wasn't right, I felt really uncomfortable like I knew this was not me and since then I knew it was because I was really just gay.
once we all left school I basically broke up with my girlfriend due to me obviously being gay and accepting myself for it but I just never saw her and it was more like a friendship due to us never interacting sexually.. so we split up...
then I was in and out of jobs
toy shop sales assistant...
I just wasn't enjoying my life
I knew I was gay and I didn't tell anyone, all I had was the internet to talk to about it I became very depressed as I was thinking my family and friends would neglect me for me being gay...
the worst thing of what I thought would happen was if my parents rejected me. I don't think I could have lived on if my parents rejected me for who I am
eventually an employment agency helped me get a good solid job
I became a Auxiliary Nurse (yes I know cliche.. gay nurse.....)
but it is a perfect job for me I get to meet all typed of people and everyone is accepted because, well you have to be
I then met a agency nurse on one shift and found out he is gay
our convocation basically turned to gays and stuff and I basically told him I am gay... and that was the first time I ever told anyone my deep dark secret...
some time after I downloaded some gay apps on the iphone
you know the type lol
and I met my first bf on there and our first couple of times meeting it was all a secret, my parents just thought I was meeting a friend from work
when i actuality I was experimenting with a guy far away lol
soon I had to come out because I just couldn't keep lying to my parents where I was
So I wrote a coming out letter... and kept it in my room in a box
and about a month later I got home from work and just gave the letter to my mom
as soon as I gave the letter to her I started crying
like I could feel the secret coming out of my eyes (strange I know)
my mom started crying and she basically accepted me for who I am
my mom told my dad and on the night my dad was crying talking about grandchildren and that's all he really said
but they both accept me now as the big shock has gone
then the entire family found out and they all sent me really supportive text messages and it made me really glad
then they got to meet my bf
and all that happened really nicely they accepted him and everything was going smoothly
until he broke up with me... saying he wasn't ready for a relationship...
me knowing how hard it was for me to get a bf (knowing about the gay scene and stepping into it) I begged him to take me back (stupid I know)
about a week latter he did... we got back together and met a few times but he broke my heart again (no surprise) we broke up again..
we stayed in touch through text
then I was basically back on the market again lol
I started coming out to my friends and work friends and they were all really supportive.
I then started a new profile on grindr and growlr
and started speaking to more guys, only most on there are just pic swapping whores to be honest...
I met one guy on there (just met him the once I can't even remember his name now)
but once we met in person he was just too in my face with the "gay" label the voice and the mannerisms, all queen like... nothing wrong with people like that.. just not my type.
so that didn't go anywhere lol
then litteraly about a week later I got talking to a guy called Glen
his growlr name was "deaf guy"
at the time i thought is he joking is he really deaf???
so I just talked to him and talked and talked and talked
I found out he really is deaf and we just clicked
I spoke to my ex about him and my ex just put a downer on everything...
"he's deaf you realise how hard it will be with him"
things like that
I just thought no I will try and see where this goes
so first day I spoke to glen Feb 14th 2013
I went to meet him the very next day lol
we were both really nervous
I was just so nervous because I just started speaking to this guy yesterday lol
and I was thinking how will we communicate if things get further?
we went to a cafe
and we spoke to each other by writing on paper (I kept the paper)
now it's 6 months later and me and glen are still together
he has been teaching me BSL (British Sign language)
and the only time communication has been via paper is the first time we met
since then it has either been via phone of BSL or he lip reads
He has become very close with my parents and he become part of the family
I am very happy that I have come out as I can now be myself with the people I love
I feel like I will be with glen for a very long time as we are becoming closer and closer
I am really happy with my life right now.
Sorry for the long post guys
if you actually read this far, THANK YOU
if you have any questions about my life or my deaf bf or anything just ask