I have always for as long as I can remember known deep inside that I'm gay. Boys boys and more boys is all I thought about and had crushes on boys. There's never been anything more obvious to me than that I am gay. But I tried to change it and make myself sleep with girls, which was easier to find than a man but I had to think about men to make it hard. I've just started coming out an lying to myself. Time to be happy and love me some men.