On a purely physical level, I feel like I'm not really meant to be monogamous. I find my boyfriend very sexually attractive, but it seems like I'm looking at other guys a lot and every day I see many guys that I would love to be with.
One of our problems is that we are both tops and I'm always fantasizing about topping him and if not him, then someone else. However, in reality, you don't know who is a top and who isn't and even then, I've never really loved doing anal with someone I wasn't serious with or had at least been FWB with.
This is not my first relationship, but it seems that the older I get, the less monogamy appeals to me.
At the same time, I don't see being non-monogamous as a viable option in my life. I don't see my boyfriend really wanting an open relationship and I can't see it improving my dating prospects overall if we were to break up.
Any feedback or thoughts are appreciated.
Feel free to ask any questions you would like if there's anything you want to know or if you would like me to clarify anything I've written.