JustUsBoys.com gay porn forum

logo

remove these banner ads by becoming a JUB Supporter.

Results 1 to 7 of 7
  1. #1

    You want me to be your D in a D/s relationship? Huh?

    I need some help here...I was too nervous to post this on the 'regular' D/s (Dom/sub) forums I was able to find but I've been a member here before and I know some good advice can be had though I've never seen this particular topic here...

    My boyfriend who I love dearly has recently told me he would like it if I were a little more rough with him in bed and that he also would like it if I verbally degraded him at the same time.

    No judgements on my part, I don't have a problem with someone liking this sort of treatment and i certainly don't think any less of him. (though my initial reaction might have been interpreted that way and I'll get to that in a moment)

    My problem is - I don't think I can do it. I'm not above physical retribution for certain things (i.e. someone outside the bar physically harassing my boyfriend or a bro-in-law getting handsy with my sister because he's drunk and pissed off) but I'm not indiscriminately violent or anything like that...I am just very protective of the people I care about. AND because I care about him so much I just don't think I have it in me to intentionally do anything that would hurt him either physically or emotionally.

    I realize this isn't like math...2+2=he's this way because of X and thats why he likes Y which means no quick and easy answers will be forthcoming...(and really I'm not asking for an explanation)

    I also understand that a lot of talking and communication is going to have to occur and I understand the whole safeword thing and that's all well and good but I want to be able to give him what he wants but I don't want to feel like the worlds worst person after it's all over. I also don't want him feeling like he has to spend all his extra energy comforting and reassuring me that I'm not a bad person which is how I know I'll feel.

    I know i don't have to go from zero to pullhishairchokehimalittleandtellhimhesagoodlittle bitch in one night either...

    I have thought a lot about this...

    what I want to know is - does anybody have some other point of view from which I might be able to view this situation that'll help me be more okay with doing this so that he can get what he wants and I don't feel like a monster for doing it?

    (realized I kind of beat around the bush a bit...no pun intended)

  2. #2

    Re: You want me to be your D in a D/s relationship? Huh?

    just re-read it (for those who were wondering) my initial reaction was that I was a little horrified (facial expression I'm sure because I didn't say anything right away) but the reason for it was because I couldn't imagine being mean to him in bed...I'm just not a cruel person like that.

  3. #3
    nerd of prey hylas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Brussels
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    2,685

    Code of Conduct

    Re: You want me to be your D in a D/s relationship? Huh?

    i think if its not in you, then its not in you. you shouldnt force yourself to do things that make you miserable.
    but i think you should really keep an open mind, and at least try it out.

    i think you should take baby steps. it sounds like he already told you what he fantasises about. if not, then ask him. make him be specific. "a little more rough" is not specific enough, if those were his words. what exactly are some of the things he fantasises about?

    then i think you should start by doing one of those things only. not dirty talk and spanking and bondage and roleplay (or whatever, those are just examples), but just one. see how that goes, and take it from there.

    heres one thing my regular and i currently do quite often: one ties the other up with ropes and blindfolds him.
    then we have sex (making out, kissing, oral, rimming, fingering, anal, etc) that way. theres no roleplay involved, or pain or degradation. its all very mild, really. but still, the tied up and blindfolded one is at the mercy of the other, and its really, really hot.
    Last edited by hylas; August 30th, 2013 at 07:48 AM.

  4. #4

    Re: You want me to be your D in a D/s relationship? Huh?

    Yeah - we're going to take it slow. He told me the only reason he even asked was because he knew I'd never take it too far or hurt him for real. That he'd never been with anybody else who he felt safe enough with to ask. That made me feel better. After he said that I kind of realized a fair amount of my anxiety had to do with him thinking otherwise. Baby steps it is.

  5. #5
    Last Chance Jubber justsimon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Portland
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Bisexual
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    8,795

    Code of Conduct

    Re: You want me to be your D in a D/s relationship? Huh?

    I'd suggest taking things slowly and doing a bit of research. You might find this book helpful.

    You could also ask your boyfriend to make a "Yes/No/Maybe" list, where he lists the things he definitely wants to try, never wants to try, and may be interested in. It's a good way to set clear boundaries.
    Last edited by justsimon; August 31st, 2013 at 11:41 PM.

  6. #6
    JUB Addict HunterM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Bisexual
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    6,453

    Code of Conduct

    Re: You want me to be your D in a D/s relationship? Huh?

    Quote Originally Posted by RickRak View Post
    My boyfriend who I love dearly has recently told me he would like it if I were a little more rough with him in bed
    Surprise him! Bring the following to bed the next time and ask him to choose his desired roughness for the night...





    Put some humor into it. Don't take yourself too seriously. It's just role playing. Pretend you're an actor. You need to act out a scene. That's it.

  7. #7
    JUB Addict HunterM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Bisexual
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    6,453

    Code of Conduct

    Re: You want me to be your D in a D/s relationship? Huh?

    Here's a baby step...

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | About JustUsBoys.com | Site Map | RSS | Webmasters | Advertise | Link to JUB | Report A Bug on this Page

Visit our sister sites: Broke Straight Boys | CollegeDudes.com | CollegeBoyPhysicals.com | RocketTube
All models appearing on JustUsBoys.com were over 18 at the time of photography. The records for sexually explicit images required by U.S. 2257 are kept by the
individual producers of the images. The location of the records is available by clicking the Custodian of Records link at the bottom of each gallery page.
© 2012 JustUsBoys.com. The JustUsBoys.com name and logo are registered trademarks. Labeled with ICRA and RTA. Member of ASACP and The Free Speech Coalition.