I need some help here...I was too nervous to post this on the 'regular' D/s (Dom/sub) forums I was able to find but I've been a member here before and I know some good advice can be had though I've never seen this particular topic here...
My boyfriend who I love dearly has recently told me he would like it if I were a little more rough with him in bed and that he also would like it if I verbally degraded him at the same time.
No judgements on my part, I don't have a problem with someone liking this sort of treatment and i certainly don't think any less of him. (though my initial reaction might have been interpreted that way and I'll get to that in a moment)
My problem is - I don't think I can do it. I'm not above physical retribution for certain things (i.e. someone outside the bar physically harassing my boyfriend or a bro-in-law getting handsy with my sister because he's drunk and pissed off) but I'm not indiscriminately violent or anything like that...I am just very protective of the people I care about. AND because I care about him so much I just don't think I have it in me to intentionally do anything that would hurt him either physically or emotionally.
I realize this isn't like math...2+2=he's this way because of X and thats why he likes Y which means no quick and easy answers will be forthcoming...(and really I'm not asking for an explanation)
I also understand that a lot of talking and communication is going to have to occur and I understand the whole safeword thing and that's all well and good but I want to be able to give him what he wants but I don't want to feel like the worlds worst person after it's all over. I also don't want him feeling like he has to spend all his extra energy comforting and reassuring me that I'm not a bad person which is how I know I'll feel.
I know i don't have to go from zero to pullhishairchokehimalittleandtellhimhesagoodlittle bitch in one night either...
I have thought a lot about this...
what I want to know is - does anybody have some other point of view from which I might be able to view this situation that'll help me be more okay with doing this so that he can get what he wants and I don't feel like a monster for doing it?
(realized I kind of beat around the bush a bit...no pun intended)