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  1. #1
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    Should I still go on the date/meeting

    Hello

    I recently started chatting with a guy on a online dating site. We chatted and seem to get along so I asked if he wanted to meet for coffee sometime, nothing serious, not rly a date just to chat as friends and start a relationship of sorts.

    Since I organised the meeting (on tues) we have chatted via SMS but his responses are only ever 2 words which is making me think he doesn't like me, or is reconsidering going to the meeting?

    When I say stuff like "My day was good I just worked" his reply is "lol nice". Then when I say "What did you do today? " he says "just went to work". I try to ask him q's to get him to talk but he always gives 2 word answers for some reason like I say "So do u have any pets?" he replies with "lol no". When we first chatted on the online dating site he would give longer answers/chat more.

    I have never been on a date/met up with someone (I'm 26 hes 23) so I dont know how to read all this. What do you think?

  2. #2

    Re: Should I still go on the date/meeting

    He doesn't seem that interested. However it's up to you whether you want to keep the meeting or not. Is it something you would enjoy? Do you have a backup?

    If it isn't going well, you should have an excuse ready to get out of there. Honestly I hate when someone loses interest and shows no effort to make conversation. Just tell me already!
    So yea you could ask him outright if he still wants to meet or you could just keep the date.

  3. #3

    Re: Should I still go on the date/meeting

    I wouldn't take it too personally... yet.

    I think part of it is your generation, brought up on texting and twitter aren't really taught to express themselves very well. You'll notice here in JUB quite frequently the younger guys posts are often a couple words and some cheesy GIF, while the older guys have lengthy paragraphs spelling everything out in detail.

    The other aspect is, you haven't met yet. He doesn't know you. You don't know him. Maybe he's shy? You've already stated you're hoping for a relationship... that's a long ways down the road. Don't rush things too fast and scare him off before it even has a chance.

    Maybe he's busy. Maybe he doesn't like texting. Maybe he's on a T-9 cell phone. Maybe he's just looking for a hook up and not interested in a relationship. It COULD be a lot of things! I wouldn't jump the gun and start assuming anything yet until you've spent time with him and got to know him.

    You said he talked more on line. Maybe typing on a PC is easier for him than texting is. I can certainly type faster than I can plunk out text on a cell phone.
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  4. #4
    nerd of prey hylas's Avatar
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    Re: Should I still go on the date/meeting

    i dislike chatting per text. i dislike typing on the phone, and i dislike the idea that i have to pay for every message. websites are different, because i have my keyboard, and its for free.

    also, i usually dont spend much time chatting between setting the first date and the date itself. i mean, arent you going to meet to talk about stuff like pets?

    i think you should stop texting him... he may or may not be bothered by it, but youre not getting anything out of it anyway, are you?

    go and see him. id recommend talking to him on the phone (talk! not text!) before you actually meet, just for a minute. its a good way to filter out flakes and fakes (they almost always balk at phone conversations.)

    good luck!

  5. #5
    I'm now a grandfather! JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
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    Re: Should I still go on the date/meeting

    Meet him if he still would like to do so. You'll then have a sense of what he's really like.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

  6. #6
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    Re: Should I still go on the date/meeting

    Meet him and use only "lol, no" and "lol, yes" when you talk to him.
    Everyone wants to be heard. No one wants to listen.

  7. #7
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    Re: Should I still go on the date/meeting

    ^ lol, lol

  8. #8
    Do I dare to eat a peach?
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    Re: Should I still go on the date/meeting

    Meet him but don't expect too much.

  9. #9
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    Re: Should I still go on the date/meeting

    I was asked many times by different persons I have met online if I´m in the mood for talking or I want them to stop sending me messages, only because I don´t actually talk that much. Not even in real life.. meet him. Or the next time you message him tell him ¨I see you only give a 2 words response.. is this a bad time?¨

    Don´t think too much over this stuff.
    ¨Beware the fury of a patient man¨ - John Dryden

  10. #10
    JUB Addict Georgiadude's Avatar
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    Re: Should I still go on the date/meeting

    I'd still meet him but don't be surprised if he backs out at the last minute or no shows. That will be the real answer to your question. I hope it works out but don't be upset if it doesn't. Your not the first guy to have this happen

    Steven

  11. #11
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    Re: Should I still go on the date/meeting

    Could be anything from having lost interest or met someone else. I don't buy the idea of being that shy through texts at innocent topics such as pets and such. If he makes so little effort, it doesn't seem like he's that interested.

    If he still agrees to meeting, it doesn't hurt to see how it pans out.

    But you should call the day before, or on the day to check that the meeting is still on to avoid being stood up last minute.

  12. #12
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    Re: Should I still go on the date/meeting

    Quote Originally Posted by Georgiadude View Post
    I'd still meet him but don't be surprised if he backs out at the last minute or no shows. That will be the real answer to your question. I hope it works out but don't be upset if it doesn't. Your not the first guy to have this happen

    Steven
    Well it went exactly like you said. Thanks for the reply. He didn't show lol. Not a great start to the first meetup I organised, although I dont really feel that bad. I msged him saying "Hi where bouts are you? " a couple of times and no response. Then 55mins after we were supposed to meet (at 11am) I got a msg saying "Sorry I just woke up".

    I haven't msged back, should I atleast msg back? What shd I say? Not sure how I shd handle this?
    Last edited by gretty; August 30th, 2013 at 07:10 PM.

  13. #13

    Re: Should I still go on the date/meeting

    It could be his first time and he's nervous, or he's just incredibly rude. How you proceed is up to you, but I would let him know it was rude. Depending on how apologetic he was and how much effort he put in would determine if I was willing to give him a second chance.

    Adding to advice I gave in post #3 younger generations have few manners ans social graces as well.
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  14. #14
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    Re: Should I still go on the date/meeting

    Quote Originally Posted by borg69unimatrix View Post
    It could be his first time and he's nervous, or he's just incredibly rude. How you proceed is up to you, but I would let him know it was rude. Depending on how apologetic he was and how much effort he put in would determine if I was willing to give him a second chance.

    Adding to advice I gave in post #3 younger generations have few manners ans social graces as well.
    Thanks for the reply. Gonna ask him why he didn't turn up. Depending on how he responds I'll take it from there

  15. #15

    Re: Should I still go on the date/meeting

    More than likely he's going to stick to the oversleeping excuse rather than owning up to being nervous, or a flake.
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  16. #16
    JUB Addict HunterM's Avatar
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    Re: Should I still go on the date/meeting

    I would dump his sorry ass.



    NEXT!

  17. #17
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    Re: Should I still go on the date/meeting

    Not rly gonna bother with him anymore. He replied saying " i woke up late, i woke up at about midday, i completely forgot about today sorry". So just gonna move on.

  18. #18
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    Re: Should I still go on the date/meeting

    Sorry that happened but I'm not surprised in the least. He sounds like a flake. Don't waste any more time on him. If he sent me a message I'd reply with 1or 2 words like he did. He'll move on pretty quickly. Flakes get bored when their puppet doesn't play any more. Don't let this stop you from meeting people however Id avoid the online apps etc. Flake city. You're just asking for a repeat. Of course someone is going to come behind me and say they've met the love of their life on line. Congrats and good for you. Most cases don't work like that. My advice is to network in real life. Meet friends and you'll be able to judge people a lot better in person. Don't get discouraged. It's happened to almost all of us. His fell asleep bs is as predictable as the sun rising in the East

    Steven

  19. #19
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    Re: Should I still go on the date/meeting

    At least you tried! I wouldn´t waste more time with him.
    ¨Beware the fury of a patient man¨ - John Dryden

  20. #20
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    Re: Should I still go on the date/meeting

    Goodness, Gretty, you've aged since you started this thread. Was it because of the stress of not meeting your 23 year old friend? Just wondering how a 33 year old becomes 26?

    Craiger

  21. #21

    Re: Should I still go on the date/meeting

    Quote Originally Posted by Craiger View Post
    Goodness, Gretty, you've aged since you started this thread. Was it because of the stress of not meeting your 23 year old friend? Just wondering how a 33 year old becomes 26?

    Craiger
    ...beat me to it

    I was wondering that myself




    those little details again

  22. #22
    JUB Addict Georgiadude's Avatar
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    Re: Should I still go on the date/meeting

    oops. not another one Johaninsc I missed the details. Dam I hate it when guys do this crap. Just fucking be honest for Christ's sake.

    Steven.

  23. #23
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    Re: Should I still go on the date/meeting

    Quote Originally Posted by Craiger View Post
    Goodness, Gretty, you've aged since you started this thread. Was it because of the stress of not meeting your 23 year old friend? Just wondering how a 33 year old becomes 26?

    Craiger
    Sorry, my profile birth date is incorrect, I am in fact (still!) 26. You should never give out/display your actual birthday, these things are used when verifying your identity.

  24. #24
    JUB Addict Georgiadude's Avatar
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    Re: Should I still go on the date/meeting

    The advice remains the same but you lose credibility around here VERY quickly when these slip ups happen.we've been played for fools many times.

    Steven

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