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  1. #1

    Times when you hate being gay

    I know, odd title, but there are times where I think why and just makes things so awkward.

    For instance, I attend a social tennis group with a coach. Of course the coach happens to be my type of man. Anyway, at this session he was wearing track-pants and had a quite revealing bulge. So it was hard to not keep glancing over, and playing tennis at the same time if you know what I mean! Way makes things even awkward was he was touching my hands to show me a good grip. All the advice went by me as all I could think of was the contact and that bulge right there.

    Seriously, being gay and this happening is a big tease and I hate it

    Have there been times where you thought you'd not want to be gay at a specific moment?
    Last edited by mrdude; August 22nd, 2013 at 04:03 PM.

  2. #2
    Execuvette Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Nope, never. And being gay isn't at fault. It's not being able to separate different social circumstances.

    Are you closeted and/or have you been single long?
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
    - Gene Wolfe

  3. #3

    Re: Times when you hate being gay

    Quote Originally Posted by mrdude View Post
    I know, odd title, but there are times where I think why and just makes things so awkward.

    For instance, I attend a social tennis group with a coach. Of course the coach happens to be my type of man. Anyway, at this session he was wearing track-pants and had a quite revealing bulge. So it was hard to not keep glancing over, and playing tennis at the same time if you know what I mean! Way makes things even awkward was he was touching my hands to show me a good grip. All the advice went by me as all I could think of was the contact and that bulge right there.

    Seriously, being gay and this happening is a big tease and I hate it

    Have there been times where you thought you'd not want to be gay at a specific moment?
    Wouldn't that happen if you were straight and the instructor were a woman?

    But I understand the point of your thread.

  4. #4
    JUB Addict racer2438's Avatar
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    Re: Times when you hate being gay

    Never have been, never will be.

    I am very proud of who I am and who my honey/husband is.
    You cant change the way the wind blow's, but you can change the angle of your sail to take you somewhere else!!

  5. #5

    Re: Times when you hate being gay

    In all seriousness (maybe this thread wasn't intended for this kinda stuff )
    Whereas I've come leaps and bounds about "dreading being gay", I still have it from time to time
    when I see eg. my sister with her husband and little baby.
    I know, I know, gey people can adopt. But (with all due respect) it is not the same as having a biological
    child with your partner.
    Of course, I realise a lot of non-gay people (singles, infertile people, ...) might have the same feelings.
    Voilą, just being hounest. That's a moment I sometimes 'hate being gay'.

  6. #6
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    Re: Times when you hate being gay

    Quote Originally Posted by mrdude View Post
    Have there been times where you thought you'd not want to be gay at a specific moment?
    Not anymore. As you become more comfortable with your sexuality, embarrassing stuff will still happen, but you'll mind it a lot less.

  7. #7
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    Re: Times when you hate being gay

    Yes , when i had to choose between my family and my happiness .

  8. #8
    JUB Addict umjreon88's Avatar
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    Re: Times when you hate being gay

    Times when I hate being gay? Zero, but sometimes I wish I didn't have to find people to actually get a connection! And the community can be sickening too in terms of the racism and the hate and the judgmental bitches! However I still love my fellow gays and lesbians and bis and trans!
    "... You think the only people who are people
    Are the people who look and think like you ..." - Colours of the Wind by Vanessa Williams

  9. #9
    Execuvette Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Re: Times when you hate being gay

    Quote Originally Posted by wikke1 View Post
    In all seriousness (maybe this thread wasn't intended for this kinda stuff )
    Whereas I've come leaps and bounds about "dreading being gay", I still have it from time to time
    when I see eg. my sister with her husband and little baby.
    I know, I know, gey people can adopt. But (with all due respect) it is not the same as having a biological
    child with your partner.
    Of course, I realise a lot of non-gay people (singles, infertile people, ...) might have the same feelings.
    Voilą, just being hounest. That's a moment I sometimes 'hate being gay'.
    If you're so hellbent on having one of your own, there is always surrogacy.
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
    - Gene Wolfe

  10. #10
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    Re: Times when you hate being gay

    yes, not because i'm scared of social stereotypes, but it's so frustrating trying to meet gay people and even harder to meet genuine ones. relationship-wise, to me, most gays seem to either settle for anyone, sleep around or have ridiculously high standards. i feel like if i were straight, life would be so much easier in a lot of aspects but i'm not bitter because i don't find anything wrong with being gay.

  11. #11
    Execuvette Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Re: Times when you hate being gay

    Quote Originally Posted by slowshow View Post
    yes, not because i'm scared of social stereotypes, but it's so frustrating trying to meet gay people and even harder to meet genuine ones. relationship-wise, to me, most gays seem to either settle for anyone, sleep around or have ridiculously high standards. i feel like if i were straight, life would be so much easier in a lot of aspects but i'm not bitter because i don't find anything wrong with being gay.
    Cynicism about gay stereotypes aside, straight people have a LOT of trouble too. It's just different type of trouble.
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
    - Gene Wolfe

  12. #12

    Re: Times when you hate being gay

    Quote Originally Posted by Rolyo85 View Post
    If you're so hellbent on having one of your own, there is always surrogacy.
    I wouldn't consider myself "hellbent". If ever I have a partner, we will probably decide together on what to do. I'm not against adoption, or having a meaningful life without children.
    Just saying that when I see how smoothly things are going for my sister and her family, I'm a little jealous.
    Maybe it has little to do with being gay, I don't know.

  13. #13
    JUB Addict SaskGuy's Avatar
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    Re: Times when you hate being gay

    I used to wish I wasn't gay at all... then I sorta learned to accept it, but I still tried to hide it... I even dated a girl!
    I gave up trying to be straight, but I was still deep in the closet for a while... but now I'm very comfortable with who I am. There hasn't been a time I wish I wasn't gay, just times when I wish other people were more open minded.

    I owe it all to a very special person... otherwise I'd still be alone in the closet, too scared to come out... or at least, it would have taken me a lot longer to come out.

  14. #14
    Slut dragon08's Avatar
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    Re: Times when you hate being gay

    I honestly don't believe a lot of guys here. There has to be moments when all gays wish they were straight, whether it meant taking to their families if estranged, bring able to marry whoever they wanted, having kids the easy way, not having people automatically hate you.

    You aren't kidding anyone if you say that you enjoy being gay 100% if the time, and that being gay isn't a struggle. There isn't anything wrong with being gay, but the world does a good job of making it seem that way.

  15. #15
    Execuvette Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Re: Times when you hate being gay

    Quote Originally Posted by dragon08 View Post
    I honestly don't believe a lot of guys here. There has to be moments when all gays wish they were straight, whether it meant taking to their families if estranged, bring able to marry whoever they wanted, having kids the easy way, not having people automatically hate you.

    You aren't kidding anyone if you say that you enjoy being gay 100% if the time, and that being gay isn't a struggle. There isn't anything wrong with being gay, but the world does a good job of making it seem that way.
    I am sorry that your experiences in life have made you incapable of believing that someone could be 100% happy with being gay. Sure, we have all struggled in the process of coming to terms with who we are. But I can safely say that ever since coming out 4 years ago, I have not for a second wished I was straight, and I feel nothing but joy for being gay. Take it or leave it.
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
    - Gene Wolfe

  16. #16
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    Just_Believe18's Avatar
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    Re: Times when you hate being gay

    Quote Originally Posted by dragon08 View Post
    I honestly don't believe a lot of guys here. There has to be moments when all gays wish they were straight, whether it meant taking to their families if estranged, bring able to marry whoever they wanted, having kids the easy way, not having people automatically hate you.

    You aren't kidding anyone if you say that you enjoy being gay 100% if the time, and that being gay isn't a struggle. There isn't anything wrong with being gay, but the world does a good job of making it seem that way.
    I hope as you get older, your perception of this will change. When we're all young, we do wonder how much easier it would be to be straight. However, I'm 100% happy being gay in my life. The job, city, home, experiences, and friends I have are directly attributed to my sexuality and what direction it has taken my life.

    @OP
    You should never hate being yourself just because there's a guy you can't have sex with. If you were a straight woman, you probably couldn't have him still. He might be married, or maybe you're just not his kind of woman.
    #439th oldest member on JUB.

  17. #17

    Re: Times when you hate being gay

    Not being gay, per se, but I hated all the limitations -- When it was becoming clear to me that I was definitely gay, I was involved with a fifty year old while I was still early twenties, and I hated I couldn't involve him in my other activities with my other straight twenty-something buds. So, in that instance the double whammy of age and sexual orientation. And of course, where I couldn't express what I was feeling about a straight friend to other straight friends, and so on.
    With time, I've learned to be accepting of everyone as they are, and the situations we all find ourselves in.
    At the same time, I am amazed I never underwent any angst about being gay.

  18. #18
    Lascivious Lush altlover85's Avatar
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    Re: Times when you hate being gay

    Quote Originally Posted by Nick4444 View Post
    Not being gay, per se, but I hated all the limitations -- When it was becoming clear to me that I was definitely gay, I was involved with a fifty year old while I was still early twenties, and I hated I couldn't involve him in my other activities with my other straight twenty-something buds. So, in that instance the double whammy of age and sexual orientation. And of course, where I couldn't express what I was feeling about a straight friend to other straight friends, and so on.
    With time, I've learned to be accepting of everyone as they are, and the situations we all find ourselves in.
    At the same time, I am amazed I never underwent any angst about being gay.
    Your friends would have been cool hanging with a 50-year old woman?

    I have had times when I didn't like being gay, especially when I was in high school, but as I've gotten older, the benefits have balanced out the negatives.

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