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Thread: Falling in love with my straight friend

      
   
  1. #1
    mlthedescours
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    Falling in love with my straight friend

    Hi guys, I'm pretty much new here and I don't even know how to start describing myself except for the fact that I'm a closeted gay guy. Sorry for my english, i'm from denmark. I'm just gonna make this post real quick. So I have a straight friend and he doesn't know that I'm gay. He's my ideal guy - sweet, funny, kind and above all he's fucking hot as hell. Seriously he is so hot with that ripped body, nice tight ass and the most gorgeous face ever. I've been in love with him for a year and I just can't help feeling excited when we hang out together, fucking things up (he's also a crazy motherfucker and fun to be around with), like...my dick gets really hard when he's around. I always look at him when he's shirtless, especially his chest and ass and when he was going commando, wearing this sweatpants, I could see the outline of his dick and it made me want to fuck him so bad. I have had really nasty thoughts and started touching myself at night times. How do I stop all of this? Is this infatuation or simply love? I know I want to get in his pants but I also want to wake up next to him every morning. I'm really depressed right now. It sucks when you're in love with somebody that you can never have. Help, I'm feeling like a worthlesss piece of shit and kinda suicidal

  2. #2
    Booyah! Callum's Avatar
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    Re: Falling in love with my straight friend

    You sound smitten, sure...but you have to know in your mind (and heart) that he will never and can never reciprocate those feelings of attraction. Straight friends are, well, straight -- they can be an object of affection but they will never be 'the one' for you. There's a fellow gay/bi guy out there for you somewhere.
    blacksyringe

  3. #3
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    Re: Falling in love with my straight friend

    We have all been there---be respectful of him and in time you'll get over it.

  4. #4
    mlthedescours
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    Re: Falling in love with my straight friend

    Quote Originally Posted by nycguydowntown View Post
    We have all been there---be respectful of him and in time you'll get over it.
    okay

  5. #5

    Re: Falling in love with my straight friend

    Been there a 100 times...

    Your best bet is to start meeting, and hanging out with gay guys. This guy is more than likely never going to convert and feel the same way towards you as you do him. While I'm sure you do care for him, I'll also bet that what you're feeling is more Lust, Infatuation, Attraction, and perhaps a little obsession.

    He's got some great qualities to desire in a guy, but are you really in love with HIM, or what he represents?
    There are plenty of single, available, hot, funny... gay guys out there you could be chasing and have a lot better shot with.
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  6. #6
    JUB Addict HunterM's Avatar
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    Re: Falling in love with my straight friend

    Quote Originally Posted by borg69unimatrix View Post
    There are plenty of single, available, hot, funny... gay guys out there you could be chasing and have a lot better shot with.
    ^ Oh, thanks for the good word of mouth buddy...




    Seriously, listen to him...

    Quote Originally Posted by borg69unimatrix View Post
    Your best bet is to start meeting, and hanging out with gay guys. This guy is more than likely never going to convert and feel the same way towards you as you do him.
    The more people you meet and date...the more options you will have. The more fun life will be! Date guys who will return your love and affections.
    Last edited by HunterM; August 22nd, 2013 at 01:53 PM.

  7. #7
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    Re: Falling in love with my straight friend

    hi Mlthedescours,

    First of all, welcome to JUB and good you have created an account. Your profile indicates that you are 19, and you have told us that you live in Denmark.

    I was wondering why you don't set the step to tell your friend that you are a gay guy. I mean, how long you want to continue to live a life as a closet case? Denmark is, in general, not a homophobic country, so why not make obvious to other people around you that you are gay? Other gay guys can also more easy find you when you don't hide yourself.

    I agree with the other posters that you should forget your feelings for this guy. He is Straight, and straight guys have such feelings for girls. You have a huge crush for a straight guy, and such crushes always lead to a dead end. I feel very sorry to tell you this, but that's how it is.

    Do you have any idea about his thought about gay / bi guys?

    I also agree with the other posters that you should start to get dating with gay guys and / or make gay friends, as that is a good way to try to forget your feelings for your friend.

    Good luck and feel free to react and/or to ask additional questions.

    Best wishes.
    I am Dutch, so please excuse me for my low level of English.

  8. #8

    Re: Falling in love with my straight friend

    First, post pics so we can see how hot this dude is.
    Second, tell him that you want him.
    Third, Don't.

    I've been there and have gotten to the sex part. But it wasn't worth it since sex ruined the friendship.

  9. #9
    Impish and Mercurial Rolyo85's Avatar
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    This happens a lot to closeted gay guys. Believe it or not, your friend isn't your ideal guy. He's just a guy. But your mind has find a great mechanism for self-repression - crushing on a straight friend. Because that way you don't have to do anything. You don't have to come out, you don't have to confront the object of your desire (because you know he won't reciprocate), you can just pine and sigh from a comfortable state of doing nothing.

    I know you don't feel this way, but you gotta admit you think your situation is tragically romantic. Well, trust me - it's not. What it is, is another roadblock to you growing into the man you can and should be.

    And most of us have been there. For my part, I can say that once I came out completely, I stopped feeling anything remotely erotic or romantic toward my straight friends that I had previously pined after.
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
    - Gene Wolfe

  10. #10
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    Re: Falling in love with my straight friend

    Quote Originally Posted by mlthedescours View Post
    How do I stop all of this? Is this infatuation or simply love? I know I want to get in his pants but I also want to wake up next to him every morning. I'm really depressed right now. It sucks when you're in love with somebody that you can never have. Help, I'm feeling like a worthlesss piece of shit and kinda suicidal
    Alas, you will not be the first one in this situation and certainly will not be the last.

    In the ideal world your friend will continue to love and respect you in the morning after a hot and torrid session of sex, but too often it does not happen.

    It is painful to keep your feelings bottled up, but if you choose not to tell him of your love for him, you will survived. Many in your situation survived, and so will you. You are not a worthless piece of shit, please do not think that. You just happen to be a round peg trying to force yourself into a square hole. I am sure that, in time, a round hole will come along and you will fit in just fine.

    And if you feel heartbroken right now, you will not be the first either. There is a song in English called, "First cut is the deepest" - it is, it hurts but we grow from it.

    May all go well with you.

  11. #11
    Rest in peace, mom. JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
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    Re: Falling in love with my straight friend

    It's the closet that's causing this and you are torturing yourself. Come out to him. Start living an honest life. You deserve to be yourself and have friends and partners who, love and want you as much as you know, love and want them. Good luck to you.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

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