Hi, I'm Lewis and I am in need of some advice and help about my attraction/fantasies about gay sex.
Let me start here, I have never been with a boy only girls, I've had 2 long term relationships both lasting for about a year and a half and I'm still currently in one and a bunch of one night stands.
I had these fantasies of having gay sex and giving men blow jobs mostly towards the end of my last relationship when the sex was getting a bit boring.
I tried experimenting at home with objects like bottles and hair brushes and even once went to the extremes of using a dildo I found in the draws in the spare room ( no idea who's it was )
And I was getting a lot of sexual thrill out of it!
So I broke up with my GF and thought I'd try the gay sex life and see if I would enjoy it, I also joined the gym and became very inshape and changed alot about my life style anyway I carried on experimenting at home but never had the bottle to ask a guy in a club or bar because my friends were asking me all the time to go to the straight clubs with them, the only problem with that was I always found myself chatting to girls and having one night stands (mostly drunk)
Now as we all know a one night stand gives you a lot of sexual thrill because its new and exciting, so this went of for about a year and I totally ignored these gay sex urges apart from occasionally watching gay porn as I felt I was getting my thrill and didn't seem to be getting fed up or bored with it.
Then I met my current girlfriend, she's great don't get me wrong but it's been a year and a half now and I'm starting to get my gay urges back, I find myself thinking about giving men blowjobs when I'm having sex and always watching gay porn instead of straight porn and recently I've started experimenting at home again.
I feel I'm going down the same route as last time but I don't want to break up with my current GF as every thing is perfect apart from the boring sex which is a big factor for me in a relationship! I doesn't help that she isn't very experimental and I some times have to push the ideas onto her rather than both feeling horny and getting dirty in the bedroom, I have spoken to her about it and she just isn't in to the whole experimenting thing but will allow some things to make me happy for example it took me a whole year to lick her bum out I don't know why but I like doing it and I know a lot of gay men are into it and alot of girls are freaked out by it, I just like being dirty and trying anything
Who knows maybe I just have a higher sex drive than her.
I wish it would end there though but it doesn't I'm going totally mad thinking about breaking up with her and trying what I did last time but find the bottle to ask a man this time!
Or I've recently been thinking about just trying a one night stand with a guy and seeing if it gives me my sexual thrill back and just take it from there but i don't want to be a cheat to my GF because she doesn't deserve that.