I'm just a random boy who currently studying in Japan University. I knew I'm gay ever since I could remember. I come a really traditional family where the male child in the family has to continue the name for the family. Because I know I'm gay, I could never get to do that. I've been telling myself I can never fell in love with anyone because I don't want to make things complicated. But I know it's not possible. After entering University (I'm from a VERY diverse University) I get to met a lot of people.
There is this guy, a senior that came back from exchange program from the UK that I got really close to. Like suddenly really close. We live in student dorm he just came back for one quarter (8 weeks) because he got all his credits done and it is his final semester, he is going to graduate next semester. How we got so close is actually he was curious about my country. Then we started to text on Facebook, but he has to job hunting so he had been traveling back forth from Tokyo and back to my University. One day he came to my door and wrote a very sweet message about he is leaving to Tokyo for 3 weeks and he won't be able to see me and hope I will do fine.
I came back on time to see the message and quickly ran to his room. He was just about the leave. Since then, we have been texting each other for the three weeks. *Remember I don't want myself to fall in love with anyone?* I became so excited to see his message on my facebook, I would check my inbox like every five minutes to see whether he replied or not. But then I suddenly put him into "others" so I won't be addict to check his message? I'm so silly I also told him that we shouldn't get too close because we been texting each other everyday. He then joke said that we are like a couple and should get together. I know it's just a joke.
Three weeks passed, he came back for only three days to pack his stuff back to Tokyo. It was really sad. I bought him present. One of the reason we got so close is because I'm a Abercrombie and Fitch's fan. And he know nothing about this brand in the beginning so I was the one who told him everything about it. The present I bought was a Hollister T-shirt. I bought 2 t-shirts. Same design. I gave it to him.
The first night, I planned to go movie with him on the next day and he seems to be really looking forward to it. Midnight he sent me message about we should be going for a movie because he wants to stay in his room and think about stuff and do his packing. It is his final days in University. So we cancelled the trip and decided to have dinner together and maybe a movie at night. The next day afternoon he suddenly texted me saying he will go downtown with his friends and will be back for dinner. I said ok. Later, he texted me again saying he won't be back for dinner because he wants to spend time with his friends. It hurt me so much but understanding that our friendship was so short comparing to his old friends. Then I posted something on facebook about I'm really sad and blablabla...
At night I went to see him, before that I saw his junior holding a Abercrombie paper bag that I gave him. Again, I'm hurt We had a talk later, he said that he thinks that our relationship got too far. He has never been to movie with his EX girlfriend, and why do I buy a same t-shirt and etc....
Out of a sudden, I feel like it's so difficult to find someone who can love me Been really sad recently....I'm so tired of this...Sometimes, I hope I can sell my feelings away. or Relationships between people. I wish I would never fall in love to anyone in this world.
The end of my story. Thank you for your time and patience. At least I feel better typing out all here....but because I'm a lazy person...I didn't really type ALL of it...like details? We communicate in Japanese though. Even thought we are both non-japanese. He is Korean. And who know where am I from haha.