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Thread: Painful truth or beautiful lie - in your relationship

      
   
  1. #1
    Porn Star aaggii's Avatar
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    Painful truth or beautiful lie - in your relationship

    Well, the title asks it all. I thought it would be a good idea, based on the discussions from another thread.

    I preffer a painful truth. I hate so much being lied to, you have no idea. Of course, I donŽt care if my partner runs into his ex and they talk a bit, keeping it from me, as long as nothing bad happened, but IŽd feel used and cheated if IŽd find out about meeting other people or having an affair, even casual sex with no strings attached. In the end, I think this is the definition of cheating, but lately it seems that people have different definitions for this word.
    šBeware the fury of a patient manš - John Dryden

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    IllumiNaughty Overlord. bankside's Avatar
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    Re: Painful truth or beautiful lie - in your relationship

    To be quite honest I prefer beautiful truth.
    Americans need to keep their guns so they can protect themselves from gun violence just like Nancy Lanza did. And like Chris Kyle did. And like Gabby Giffords did. And like Tom Clements did. And like Michael Piemonte.

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    Re: Painful truth or beautiful lie - in your relationship

    Been cheated on, so, I'd rather a painful truth that its not working than the lie that we're in "love" while you're seeing someone else, to use that as an example.
    "Confront the power of forming,

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    Re: Painful truth or beautiful lie - in your relationship

    Truth, truth, truth, all the way! I have no problem being completely and totally honest with everyone. The advantage is everyone knows where I stand on things, but the disadvantage is some people may not be able to handle the truth and may run away. But at least they know and can make an informed decision.

    The worst thing I've encountered in a relationship so far? Having to go find out the truth about someone else when he was being deceptive. There's absolutely no trust in that situation - from either party. That's probably been my lowest point. I don't want to go through that again. However, it's taught me a lot about what my dealbreakers are and just how much trust to give a person early on.

    When you mention your partner running into an ex, I'd be completely fine with that. We all have our pasts and there's no reason someone should feel like they have to cut all ties with their past lovers. I'm not going to suffocate my significant other. Now of course if he happens to jump into bed with someone else, we'll have to sit and talk about it - but I don't think that's grounds for breaking up. People make mistakes. We're human. As long as there's a commitment there to love and support one another, that's the main thing that matters in my opinion.
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    Look, listen and rejoice oakpope's Avatar
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    Re: Painful truth or beautiful lie - in your relationship

    I'm not sure about telling the truth everytime to every one. That can be selfish and innapropriate.
    But on matters important, like in cheating, I'd prefer the painful truth rather than a beautiful lie.
    Magna Veritas


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    Re: Painful truth or beautiful lie - in your relationship

    No question...painful truth. I am tough...I can handle the truth...but lying to me will piss me off beyond words...I feel rage when I am lied to.

    Conversely...If I am blunt as fuck and tell you the truth...it means I respect, like and/or love you. Fortunately being blunt does not always mean telling someone bad news...just telling them something they need to or maybe should hear could be nice as well.

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    Re: Painful truth or beautiful lie - in your relationship

    I have trouble with ever calling a lie beautiful.

    Some would argue that withholding the truth is the same as a lie and they might be right, but you have to consider everyone involved and not just yourself. If, in the process of unburdening yourself, you lay the burden on another that they may not be well-able to carry, you are probably wronging them yet again. You might then have a clean conscience, but at what price to someone else?
    Everyone wants to be heard. No one wants to listen.

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    Re: Painful truth or beautiful lie - in your relationship

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    Re: Painful truth or beautiful lie - in your relationship

    Painful truth, but we have no trust issues so it's no biggie.
    You cant change the way the wind blow's, but you can change the angle of your sail to take you somewhere else!!

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    Re: Painful truth or beautiful lie - in your relationship

    Steve and I met when we were 17. When I started my new job we had already been together 8yrs. On an overnight I went out with another gay guy to a bar and we got polluted. We came back to the hotel and ended up in his bed. When I came home Steve picked me up at the airport and we went home where he had dinner prepared.

    There was no way I was not going to tell him. Over dinner, I told him I slept with someone on my trip, the first time either of us had done that. Tears welled up in his eyes and I lost it. I jumped up, put my arms around him and we both just sat there crying. Once we calmed down he said that he forgave me but if it ever happened again he would prefer that I tell him.

    Well, It never did happen again in over 30 yrs and I never regret telling him.

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    JUB Addict Maklaar13's Avatar
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    Re: Painful truth or beautiful lie - in your relationship

    Though I think it is important to tell the truth and be honest. I feel it is also as important to know when to do so. Most definitely, a lot of people are unprepared to handle blunt honesty.

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    Re: Painful truth or beautiful lie - in your relationship

    The truth all the way and then some. I've had so-called beautiful lies told to me before by an ex gf, but then I had to find out the painful truth myself from another source. The painful truth became that much more painful because it had to be revealed through someone else.

    Any kind of a relationship should be based on honesty. If one allows lies to start to creep in...then it can become a bad habit...and then where and when does it end?
    Last edited by dereperez; July 23rd, 2013 at 10:55 AM.

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    On the Prowl Nathan-M's Avatar
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    Re: Painful truth or beautiful lie - in your relationship

    Painful truth. I'd rather know what was really going on so I don't make a fool out of myself.

  14. #14
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    Re: Painful truth or beautiful lie - in your relationship

    I despise liars.

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    Re: Painful truth or beautiful lie - in your relationship

    Please. I don't want to know.

    Just use condoms and don't let any of your tricks steal anymore laptops from me.

  16. #16

    Re: Painful truth or beautiful lie - in your relationship

    Truth at all costs? No way! I've known too many relationships that were ruined by partners who believed in "truth" at all times and in all places, and who analyzed their actions and reactions and feelings to death. I believe in letting conflicts pass. They generally blow over, or dissipate to the degree that whatever importance they had at the time becomes minor. I'll happily lie to anyone if I believe some good will come of it, or less harm than if I'd told the truth; there's an excellent chapter in "Proust Can Change Your Life" about this. I value peace and harmony and good feelings too be brutally and totally honest.

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    JUB Addict umjreon88's Avatar
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    Re: Painful truth or beautiful lie - in your relationship

    Well, painful truth, so I can cry over it, or get angry, vent it, get over it.

    Beautiful lies? No thanks. But there is such a thing as a beautiful liar. Now that's someone to look out for.

    Honestly, if it were to be something so damn hurtful that my world will fall apart overnight, I would rather not hear anything about it, be it truth or sugarcoated lies.
    "... You think the only people who are people
    Are the people who look and think like you ..." - Colours of the Wind by Vanessa Williams

  18. #18
    Elderhostile Gay Dejavudoo's Avatar
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    Re: Painful truth or beautiful lie - in your relationship

    The truth doesn't hurt unless it ought to.

    That's possibly overstated, but it has a lot of wisdom in, and I can say that since I didn't coin it.

    There is a time to tell a white lie to preserve another's feelings, and you will know when that is. It won't be when the lie is to protect yourself.
    There are TWO kinds of people in the world -- the kind who believe there are two kinds of people, and the kind who don't.

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