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  1. #1
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    I use clam guts for deodorant

    I went clamming (again) this morning and brought back a nice heap of good-sized cockles. As one who doesn't care to eat shit-in-the-making, I sat down in the driveway with knife and water and proceeded to remove the guts. Well, while I was working, a fly kept attacking my armpits. I brushed it away repeatedly with a hand covered with green-black goop from clam intestines.

    Later I made a discovery: I couldn't smell my pit odor any more! There wasn't a trace of the sweat-scent that can get overpowering, working in the heat.

    Amazing -- clam guts work!






    Don't criticize it till you try it!

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

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    JUB Addict HunterM's Avatar
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    Re: I use clam guts for deodorant

    Next time, try using mouth wash as moisturizer...as Telstra suggested.

  3. #3
    Young at Heart ravenstar's Avatar
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    Re: I use clam guts for deodorant

    I often rub dog shit under my arms to cure sweat smell. Works a treat, can't smell the sweat for love nor money.

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    JUB Addict HunterM's Avatar
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    Re: I use clam guts for deodorant

    ^ Did you smell like shit though?

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    Re: I use clam guts for deodorant

    When I was a child I had nightmares about stepping into giant sea anemones after visiting the tide pools.

    Now, I make a paste of baking soda and pig's blood every night and apply it to my forehead as a protective masque. Don't judge me.

    I also use rubbing alcohol and cotton balls in place of deodorant, cheap and effective.

    Two of these sentences are based in objective evidence, but one is more interesting.
    Greek Red Damsel
    The worst thing...is not energy depletion, economic collapse, conventional war, or the expansion of totalitarian governments. As terrible as these catastrophes would be for us, they can be repaired in a few generations. The one process now going on that will take millions of years to correct is loss of genetic and species diversity by the destruction of natural habitats. This is the folly our descendants are least likely to forgive us.--e.o. wilson

  6. #6
    Look Away To The Moon. MoufOfKhaos's Avatar
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    Re: I use clam guts for deodorant

    So that's 4 people I'm not getting near. This thread has been very helpful so far.
    "There’s death on the horizon,

    and I’ll run to behold your sacrifice..."

  7. #7
    Sinséar póraigh Kahaih's Avatar
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    Re: I use clam guts for deodorant

    I've met a few people who could use bearded cam as a breath freshener.

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    Re: I use clam guts for deodorant

    Quote Originally Posted by Kulindahr View Post
    I went clamming (again) this morning and brought back a nice heap of good-sized cockles. As one who doesn't care to eat shit-in-the-making, I sat down in the driveway with knife and water and proceeded to remove the guts. Well, while I was working, a fly kept attacking my armpits. I brushed it away repeatedly with a hand covered with green-black goop from clam intestines.

    Later I made a discovery: I couldn't smell my pit odor any more! There wasn't a trace of the sweat-scent that can get overpowering, working in the heat.

    Amazing -- clam guts work!






    Don't criticize it till you try it!
    I am somewhat horrified. But reserving judgement just on the theoretical chance….you see, this prairie boy does not actually know what a cockle is.

    I've certainly heard of them. Immediately after picturing you rubbing your underarms on some guy's groin, I remember that a cockle is actually something that grows in the sea. But it's all hazy after that. So I'm going to just assume it is an aquatic kind of vegetation that is also known as "oceanic rosemary" unless you burst my bubble.

  9. #9

    Re: I use clam guts for deodorant

    Quote Originally Posted by bankside View Post
    I am somewhat horrified. But reserving judgement just on the theoretical chance….you see, this prairie boy does not actually know what a cockle is.

    I've certainly heard of them. Immediately after picturing you rubbing your underarms on some guy's groin, I remember that a cockle is actually something that grows in the sea. But it's all hazy after that. So I'm going to just assume it is an aquatic kind of vegetation that is also known as "oceanic rosemary" unless you burst my bubble.
    http://www.google.com/search?q=cockl...mg.oBVKMkDRZlE
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

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    Re: I use clam guts for deodorant

    Where is Telstra? This thread must be a magnet for him!

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    Re: I use clam guts for deodorant

    Quote Originally Posted by borg69unimatrix View Post
    Nope. Rosemary of the Sea.

    LLALALALLALALALALALALALALALALALAL I CAN'T HEAR YOU….

    Sigh. Well I guess the title gives it away doesn't it.

    Clams. Tiny clams.

    Why?! WHYYYYY.
    Last edited by bankside; July 22nd, 2013 at 09:32 PM.

  12. #12
    Southern Faptist johaninsc's Avatar
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    Re: I use clam guts for deodorant

    only on Jub....

  13. #13
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    Re: I use clam guts for deodorant

    Which part of the foggy, damp, redneck Oregon coast do you live near, Kuli?

    Is where you go clamming near to where your coastal nature trail is?

    And are you nearest to Astoria, Lincoln City, Florence, Coos Bay, or Brookings?



    (eternally geographically obsessed - that's me)

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    Re: I use clam guts for deodorant

    Quote Originally Posted by Kulindahr View Post
    Well, while I was working, a fly kept attacking my armpits.

    If flies are infesting your armpits may I humbly suggest more showers and less clam innards. For example, I don't have a strong odour from my underarms even before I apply aquatic entrails. And, no flies!

    My secret? Cetaphil and a nice hot shower every morning.

  15. #15
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    Re: I use clam guts for deodorant

    Quote Originally Posted by ChickenGuy View Post
    Which part of the foggy, damp, redneck Oregon coast do you live near, Kuli?

    Is where you go clamming near to where your coastal nature trail is?

    And are you nearest to Astoria, Lincoln City, Florence, Coos Bay, or Brookings?



    (eternally geographically obsessed - that's me)
    Actually we camped not far from my current coastal nature trail and conservation work, so as to be but minutes from our beds to the clam beds.

    I clam in several places between Astoria and Lincoln City, depending on the species I'm after. But the thing about cockles is that on a good, really low tide, if you time it right you can basically just walk along and pick them up.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

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    Re: I use clam guts for deodorant

    There may be a use for geoducks yet.....use 'em like speedstick

  17. #17
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: I use clam guts for deodorant

    Quote Originally Posted by Kulindahr View Post
    I went clamming (again) this morning and brought back a nice heap of good-sized cockles. As one who doesn't care to eat shit-in-the-making, I sat down in the driveway with knife and water and proceeded to remove the guts. Well, while I was working, a fly kept attacking my armpits. I brushed it away repeatedly with a hand covered with green-black goop from clam intestines.

    Later I made a discovery: I couldn't smell my pit odor any more! There wasn't a trace of the sweat-scent that can get overpowering, working in the heat.

    Amazing -- clam guts work!



    Don't criticize it till you try it!
    My mouth wash works.
    Your clam guts are just rotten smells.


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  18. #18
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: I use clam guts for deodorant

    Oh by the way,
    mouth wash is PERFECT for deodorant under your arm pits and your smell feet.


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  19. #19
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    Re: I use clam guts for deodorant

    I have to ask...did the fly stop bothering you after you were smeared in clam goop? I would be more interested in fly repellant than I would deodorant as I have never owned any deodorant in my life. I am lucky I guess...never had any kind of smell and I sweat a lot....

    I do hate flies though...

  20. #20
    In Loving Memory palbert's Avatar
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    Re: I use clam guts for deodorant

    Frankly I use "Smell of a Boy's Anus" for just about everything. Works! And attracts lots of daddy types!

    Tried tomalley - popular in Maine - but left a greenish cast.

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    Re: I use clam guts for deodorant

    Quote Originally Posted by palbert View Post
    Tried tomalley - popular in Maine - but left a greenish cast.
    Okay this i had never even heard of.

  22. #22
    In Loving Memory palbert's Avatar
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    Re: I use clam guts for deodorant

    Quote Originally Posted by bankside View Post
    Okay this i had never even heard of.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tomalley :

    Tomalley (from the Carib word tumale, meaning a sauce of lobster liver) or lobster paste is the soft, green substance found in the body cavity of lobsters, that fulfills the functions of both the liver and the pancreas. Tomalley corresponds to the hepatopancreas in other arthropods. It is considered a delicacy, and may be eaten alone but is often added to sauces for flavour and as a thickening agent.
    It may be regarded as a delicacy but I don't care for it.

  23. #23

    Falcon16's Avatar
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    Re: I use clam guts for deodorant

    Yep, that Tomalley from our lobsters is great. Eat it, wear it, it will repel everything




  24. #24
    panegyric JUB Admin Corny's Avatar
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    Re: I use clam guts for deodorant

    Add me to the list of people being confused not seeing another name on thsi thread ..
    Check out my very own Body Hair Lovers and Photography Groups!

  25. #25
    Bammer's Papa
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    Re: I use clam guts for deodorant

    Quote Originally Posted by Telstra View Post
    Oh by the way,
    mouth wash is PERFECT for deodorant under your arm pits and your smell feet.
    Quite likely so -- because it dries things out.

    So's gasoline -- and it's a turn-on for people who think mechanics are hawt.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  26. #26
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    Re: I use clam guts for deodorant

    Quote Originally Posted by Corny View Post
    Add me to the list of people being confused not seeing another name on thsi thread ..
    ^Yeah where is sloppy ?

  27. #27
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    Re: I use clam guts for deodorant

    I add a little clindamycin to my antiperspirant to avoid Trichomycosis.

    Only use it once a week or so, but killing that little fungi completely changed the odor of my armpit sweat AND had the added benefit of eliminating the funky brown stains I'd get on my tee-shirts.

    Kulindahr, clamming sounds like fun! Wish I lived a little closer, I'd love to come join you.

  28. #28
    Bammer's Papa
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    Re: I use clam guts for deodorant

    Quote Originally Posted by OPHELIA_HARDIN View Post
    Kulindahr, clamming sounds like fun! Wish I lived a little closer, I'd love to come join you.
    It is. But cleaning them and disposing of the refuse afterwards can be a pain sometimes.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

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