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  1. #1

    I don't know what to do anymore...

    hey guys...so i'm 22, recently graduated college and moved back home living with parents. I'm not very open about my sexuality, a bunch of friends know and family etc. but I'm still private about it to people I work with and people I've just met. I have a job and work a lot of hours during the week/weekends. But I'm just not happy with life at the moment. Yes things are great at work and with my family but I don't know... I'm lonely I guess. I don't really hang out with friends since leaving college, no one really texts me and I find it awkward to go on dates while living at home still. Not to mention I get super horny a lot and don't even have a fuck buddy. I find myself checking out guys allll the time and either picturing myself dating them or hooking up with them. I had a pretty active sex life in college and I enjoyed that freedom...a freedom you don't get when you live with your parents. I keep wondering when things are going to happen for me like someone falling in love with me or getting offered my dream job. Idk I guess I'm just in a bad mood or something but I feel like I could be happier, but it's just not happening.
    Sorry for venting all this here... I don't know what I'm expecting to get back from this post. I know I'll get responses like "you're young, it takes time, etc." but if anyone has advice on how to "live" better I guess? Specifically in the dating/sex dept. while living at home (maybe I need to move out, but I'm scared) and also being happier with day to day life, it would be greatly appreciated!

  2. #2
    Virgin treeri's Avatar
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    Re: I don't know what to do anymore...

    I don't really hang out with friends since leaving college, no one really texts me and I find it awkward to go on dates while living at home still.
    You shouldn't expect to feel the same way while living with your parents. You had 4 years of freedom and independence, now it's completely different!

    I recently graduated myself and currently in the process of getting a job as a research associate... I'm doing everything I can to avoid living with my parents. It's not that they're bad parents (or completely homophobic), but it's due to a lack of freedom under their roof.

    First thing you need to do is focus on what will make you comfortable. Work hard and save your money to move out so you can regain what's "missing". After you're settled then you should start socializing, make new friends/network, join a sports league, etc... It's not that you should hold off on socializing until you move out, but the goal is to save money to move out sooner. You'll feel better once you've regained that independence.

  3. #3

    Re: I don't know what to do anymore...

    I agree with Treeri.

  4. #4
    I'm now a grandfather! JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
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    Re: I don't know what to do anymore...

    I also agree.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

  5. #5
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    Re: I don't know what to do anymore...

    If you lived near me, we would be friends. Im in the same boat. My family knows about my sexuality, ive got a good boyfriend, but i have no friends. At all. Like seriously, absolutely no friends.

  6. #6

    Re: I don't know what to do anymore...

    That's very good advice treeri! You're right, it is a transition period and I do just need to focus on myself and my own personal needs. But if I move out I don't know where I'd go or what I'm going to do with my life lol. I have the skills to go into a few of different fields but I have to choose which one...life's just confusing at the moment.

    Camjam where do you live? maybe we can be friends! haha, pm me if you'd like

  7. #7
    Sex God januaryguy's Avatar
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    Re: I don't know what to do anymore...

    Follow your heart and do what you love best. The rest will follow. Stay happy and dont be afraid to try new things to find what suits you best.

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    Re: I don't know what to do anymore...

    Quote Originally Posted by hairbway207 View Post
    That's very good advice treeri! You're right, it is a transition period and I do just need to focus on myself and my own personal needs. But if I move out I don't know where I'd go or what I'm going to do with my life lol. I have the skills to go into a few of different fields but I have to choose which one...life's just confusing at the moment.

    Camjam where do you live? maybe we can be friends! haha, pm me if you'd like
    Inside Lansing Michigan. :P

  9. #9

    Re: I don't know what to do anymore...

    Quote Originally Posted by camjam View Post
    Inside Lansing Michigan. :P
    Ahh yeah thats a little far from me lol ;P


    Just an update guys: things are going really well at work and I'm enjoying interacting with people there. But I'm still not hanging out with any friends. Some people occasionally will say "hey let's hang out!" but they never really follow through with making plans :/
    I just kinda feel like I'm in a dead end. The job I have isn't in the field I want to go into and I feel like I'm just following the same routine: eat, sleep, work, repeat...

  10. #10
    nerd of prey hylas's Avatar
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    Re: I don't know what to do anymore...

    cant you afford to live on your own, having a job? you could share an appartment.

  11. #11

    Re: I don't know what to do anymore...

    Nah I can't afford it yet

  12. #12

    Re: I don't know what to do anymore...

    How can I tell if a guy is flirting with me? There's this kid I work with (and let me preface this by saying I am not interested in him AT ALL) who always tries to talk to me and will say things like "I just wanted to say hi and ask you whats up" but he says it in a very awkward way. And always makes me feel awkward like he has a deeper meaning behind everything he says to me. I think he has a crush on me and I don't know how to tell him I'm not interested without sounding like an ass (or maybe he doesn't have a crush and he's just a weirdo idk)
    Some advice would be nice... thanks

  13. #13

    Re: I don't know what to do anymore...

    But besides that I'm doing pretty well, working hard and it's definitely paying off. Going on vacation soon so I should be able to relax and enjoy life for a while. Things are pretty good I guess

  14. #14

    Re: I don't know what to do anymore...

    Okay tonight I'm having a pretty bad night...I had been talking to this guy on grindr. we both went to the same HS we were attracted to each other and getting along nicely. Today I didn't go on at all but I just logged on now and his profile pic was gone and so was his information, so I said hey. And now I think he blocked me... I don't know what I did wrong

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    JUB Addict BiMike's Avatar
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    Re: I don't know what to do anymore...

    That happens all time with guys you meet on-line they open up to you and all seems fine then suddenly they realise they have gone further than they wanted to go and go back into their closet! I think the problem was you knew the guy from HS that in your view was a plus in his view it was a minus, hence the deletion. Dont dispare keep trying, better luck this time but keep away from Str8 guys yiu know !

  16. #16
    JUB Addict HunterM's Avatar
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    Re: I don't know what to do anymore...

    Quote Originally Posted by hairbway207 View Post
    Some people occasionally will say "hey let's hang out!" but they never really follow through with making plans :/
    People do that to me all the time. Don't wait for things to happen to you. Make things happen for yourself.

    Be a salesman! Instead of waiting for your friend to make plans, YOU make plans to hang out...even if he suggested first. There are no rules in life on why you can't make the first move to get this social gathering started. Find a location that is convenient for him to meet up with you. When making plans, I find texting works best because it is written down.

    • Don't ask, "What day can we hangout?" DO ask, "Hey, let's meet up on Saturday for lunch. Will you be free?" Be specific on the date and the activity. If Saturday does not work, YOU propose another day. Make it easy for him to make a quick decision.
    • Don't ask, "Where do you want to go?" DO propose a meeting place, "We could meet at Panera on [street name or neighborhood]. Does that work for you?" If that is not convenient for him, then ask him to propose another place.


    At least, you are putting an effort in making things happen. If he does not reply back to you, then he is not worth your time. You can then cross him off of your list. Move on to the next person. Make new friends.

    I just kinda feel like I'm in a dead end. The job I have isn't in the field I want to go into and I feel like I'm just following the same routine: eat, sleep, work, repeat...
    It is a dead end job if you don't have a vision of where you would like to be in a few years. If you know the type of job you want, find out what skills are needed for that position. Then look to see if there are skills you could learn from this job...soft skills and technical skills. Are you able to see this as a stepping stone to help you prepare and land your dream job? Are you able to see this as a stepping stone to build up your financial support in a few years?

    Due to the economic downturn (and layoffs) in the last few years, a lot of people (young adults and fully grown adults with families) have been moving in with their parents to save money or to pay off student loans. There is no shame in that. Own it with confidence! Know that you are an adult. You don't need permissions from you parents to live your life. You just need to respect your parents' house rules...but be independent on your social life. Once you believe this in your mind, it will change your attitude on living with your parents.

    Do you have a vision for your financial future? How much money do you need to save up in order to move out on your own? Then calculate approximately how many more years you will need to stay with your parents in order to achieve your financial goals?

    Have a vision of where you want to be financially and in your career. Then everything you do now can be a stepping stone toward those goals. Without a vision...a road map to a destination...a ship will sail aimlessly in an ocean and be lost at sea.

    When you feel like you have a plan...goals...you're working toward in life, it will boost your confidence. When you are confident about yourself of having it together, dating is so much more fun. Most people are attracted to confident people. A man with confidence is just damn right sexy!
    Last edited by HunterM; August 18th, 2013 at 02:48 PM.

  17. #17
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    Re: I don't know what to do anymore...

    save. move out and rent with roommates, especially in this economy, plus roommates can be fun too. gay roommates are preferable

  18. #18

    Re: I don't know what to do anymore...

    HunterM thanks! Very good advice!

  19. #19
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: I don't know what to do anymore...

    Did you say "super horny" ?

    There are a lot of people online ready to hookup ...


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  20. #20

    Re: I don't know what to do anymore...

    Earlier in this thread (i think around post 14?) I mentioned a guy who i was talking to on grindr who went to the same HS as me and we were hitting it off and shared pics and stuff but then i think he blocked me, so that was done. Now a few weeks later I see that his profile is back, same as before and I'm not sure what to do...not sure if I should talk to him, or if I even want to anymore

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