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  1. #1
    Respira MissAnne's Avatar
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    Pressure From People is Kind of Pissing Me Off

    Ive been out of school for a year and was lucky enough to find some independent contract work in the Behavioral Health field, which is on a client by client basis. My last client wrapped up earlier this month and being unemployed is very stressful especially with student loans blowing up my phone 6 times a day.

    I have one family member that has been so obnoxious about pressuring me to go to Grad school. I plan to go, but Im just not ready yet.

    No matter how much I tell him that Im not ready to go back, he keeps badgering me about going back to school, telling me how difficult its going to be if I wait AND this past week he had the audacity to tell me:

    "Oh, well you can work at McDonalds then or this clothing store is hiring" saying that he was trying to give me a reality check.

    If I was an ignorant person, I would have pointed out that he never recieved a degree and has spent his life relying on significant others for money.

    Does anyone have any advice about rebuffing these comments or perhaps how they deal with pressure from people in their lives.
    " For all there is to feel, let it be felt"
    ― Emeli Sande

  2. #2
    JUB Addict peeonme's Avatar
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    Re: Pressure From People is Kind of Pissing Me Off

    Say, "Thank you for your concern, coming from one who has an inadequate education your life experience is valuable to me"

  3. #3
    JUB Addict loveguys72's Avatar
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    Re: Pressure From People is Kind of Pissing Me Off

    "Thank you for your concern for my career and well-being. I promise I will give your advice all the consideration it deserves."

    Repeat as often as necessary, though once should be enough for anyone not completely brain dead.

    Hope things look up for you soon!

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    Re: Pressure From People is Kind of Pissing Me Off

    Quote Originally Posted by MissAnne View Post
    Does anyone have any advice about rebuffing these comments or perhaps how they deal with pressure from people in their lives.
    The answer is knowing what you want and how to get it.

    Tricky, in these times of high unemployment.

  5. #5
    Respira MissAnne's Avatar
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    Re: Pressure From People is Kind of Pissing Me Off

    Thanks guys! Ill try some of this and try not to get into an argument.

    Yes, Harke, it is very tricky.
    " For all there is to feel, let it be felt"
    ― Emeli Sande

  6. #6

    Re: Pressure From People is Kind of Pissing Me Off

    I support your decision 100%. This time is about "how to play it smart" rather than just to "think smart"

    This is our song

  7. #7
    Respira MissAnne's Avatar
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    Re: Pressure From People is Kind of Pissing Me Off

    Quote Originally Posted by JPGhost View Post
    I support your decision 100%. This time is about "how to play it smart" rather than just to "think smart"

    This is our song
    LOL, Thanks JP.

    I actually enjoyed school but I can't say that I didn't have those exact same thoughts at one point.
    " For all there is to feel, let it be felt"
    ― Emeli Sande

  8. #8

    Re: Pressure From People is Kind of Pissing Me Off

    Boo ...u love school

    ^^ kd

  9. #9
    Respira MissAnne's Avatar
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    Re: Pressure From People is Kind of Pissing Me Off

    Quote Originally Posted by JPGhost View Post
    Boo ...u love school

    ^^ kd
    I know I really did though. It changed me in ways that I can't even explain but its not for everyone.
    " For all there is to feel, let it be felt"
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  10. #10
    JUB Addict Anders123's Avatar
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    Re: Pressure From People is Kind of Pissing Me Off

    How is your relationship with this family member? Would it be possible for you to sit down with them and communicate why it is that you feel you're not ready? Perhaps if you feel comfortable enough with them, you could explain how their behaviour is affecting you instead of feeling compelled to rebut or dismiss their comments with one-liners.

    From their perspective, it doesn't make sense that you're not going back to school now if you've expressed that you want to in the future, but it might be easier for them to empathise and be understanding if you explain how you're feeling and why you feel that way. It might be a little uncomfortable, and I really don't know their personality or how they would respond to that sort of thing, but would the discomfort during that sort of conversation be any worse than the added pressure that comes with their badgering?

    Instead of trying to get them off your back, I would suggest trying to include them in the process of working toward your goals, be they finding further employment in your current field, finding employment in a new field, or returning back to school.

    PS: I'm really glad to see you back.

  11. #11
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
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    Re: Pressure From People is Kind of Pissing Me Off

    I know the perils of going to school due to family expectations rather than intrinsic readiness. He's inept in his efforts to help (perhaps because he has not faced the decision and the questions about timing that you have) but probably not trying to be mean spirited gratuitously.

    Do you know how you want to spend your time until grad school? Working, I presume?

    The best way to rebuff him is to implement your plans. Either you'll be working, or entirely occupied finding the right job, so you'll have little time to stop for his pep talks.

    The next best way to rebuff him is just to tell him flat out, thanks for your advice, but we're not having this discussion. Then stick with it.
    Americans need to keep their guns so they can protect themselves from gun violence just like Nancy Lanza did. And like Chris Kyle did. And like Gabby Giffords did. And like Tom Clements did. And like Michael Piemonte. And Joseph Wilcox.

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    Re: Pressure From People is Kind of Pissing Me Off

    Just be patient with him; he doesn't know what is in your mind and maybe he has never walked in your shoes so there's no doubt he doesn't get you. Just rebuff him politely: "Thanks, I will try to consider what you say some day," or "Thank you for your concern but I already have a plan."

    Plan your steps carefully and advance as you plan, even in turtle steps. As long as you know what you want, the ways to achieve it, and any Plan B-C-D etc., you have a guide line. Only by then he will see there are other good things besides what he insisted you to do.
    come now, my child. if we were planning to harm you, do you think
    we'd be lurking here beside the path in the darkest part of the forest?

  13. #13
    Respira MissAnne's Avatar
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    Re: Pressure From People is Kind of Pissing Me Off

    WOW, thanks for the advice. Those were some really thoughtful answers. Ill try to be patient and use the techniques described here.
    " For all there is to feel, let it be felt"
    ― Emeli Sande

  14. #14
    A Total Bottom mbamike's Avatar
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    Re: Pressure From People is Kind of Pissing Me Off

    I had a similar problem. Then I laid out my credentials to him and explained how "over qualified" I would be. The manager would see me as a threat. He has calmed down a bit since then.

    Homophobia kills!

  15. #15
    ecce homo rareboy's Avatar
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    Re: Pressure From People is Kind of Pissing Me Off

    Unless he is going to pay the whole shot for you to go to Grad school. Tell him to fuck the fuck off.

  16. #16
    The nice guy from Nice. dpnice's Avatar
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    Re: Pressure From People is Kind of Pissing Me Off

    Quote Originally Posted by MissAnne View Post
    ................... Ill try to be patient and use the techniques described here.
    Perhaps forget about the scenarios where you tell him to "fuck the fuck off".
    http://justusboys.com/forum/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=72786&dateline=115443  2352

  17. #17
    HA! ;-)
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    Re: Pressure From People is Kind of Pissing Me Off

    Quote Originally Posted by rareboy View Post
    Unless he is going to pay the whole shot for you to go to Grad school. Tell him to fuck the fuck off.
    Quote Originally Posted by dpnice View Post
    Perhaps forget about the scenarios where you tell him to "fuck the fuck off".
    Just agree with him. Say you would be more than happy to go back to school as soon as he writes the check (that won't bounce).
    WISDOM is the Knowledge you've gained ... After you could have used it! _Me

  18. #18

    Re: Pressure From People is Kind of Pissing Me Off

    Yay Missanne has returned.

    fwiw, it just sounds like he is trying to hint that if you're not going to school just yet, maybe you could get just a regular job even if part time, to help pay your expenses.

    I've been there with 2 family members, both of whom have masters, one in computer science and the other in broadcast journalism.
    They love to tell me how I'm not making the right choices and basically everything I do that isn't what they want me to do is wrong.

    I kindly remind them of their hypocrisy by pointing out neither of them have utilized their degrees, are in debt and broke selling crap off ebay just to make ends meet.

    Surprisingly it never evolves into a fight, they just usually stay quiet as they realize they have no room to talk.

  19. #19
    Respira MissAnne's Avatar
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    Re: Pressure From People is Kind of Pissing Me Off

    Quote Originally Posted by ElmosToe View Post
    Surprisingly it never evolves into a fight, they just usually stay quiet as they realize they have no room to talk.[/

    , yes. Im trying to get him to that place LOL.
    " For all there is to feel, let it be felt"
    ― Emeli Sande

  20. #20
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    Re: Pressure From People is Kind of Pissing Me Off

    I'm asked all the time about when am I going to get my "license". That being a Real Estate license. I have not decided if I want to get licensed, I have not gotten to that part of my life or my job where I need it. I know I will have tons of support, but right now, with all that is going on at work, there is no way I would be able to concentrate on studying and my job at the same time. This fall is going to be extremely hectic, and even if getting licensed would make my job a little bit easier, right now would not be the time to pursue if I were of a mind to do it.
    I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it.



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