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  1. #1

    Are manners important to you?

    This past April I sent a present to someone (Rose) who graduated from college and she never thanked me for it. I certainly think she should have called or written me an email message or sent a card to thank me. So I am really feeling irritated by her lack of manners. I have only known Rose for two years.

    Manners are important to me. How about you?

  2. #2
    CupidBoy
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Very important.

  3. #3
    JUB Addict nycguydowntown's Avatar
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    She should have thanked you--this has happened to me two years ago and I haven't forgot.

  4. #4
    The nice guy from Nice. dpnice's Avatar
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    They are the essential cement in human relationships.

    Unfortunately they no longer exist on Internet forums.
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  5. #5
    Vannie
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Thank you so much for this thread.

  6. #6
    You mad? 80KGold's Avatar
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    I'm sure she appreciates the gift, man. Maybe she's been so busy/ overwhelmed that she hasn't been able to send you a note, yet. You can rest assured that by giving a congratulatory gift, you did well.

    How extensive is your idea of manners, though? I ask only because I've been taught: never to smack while eating; never to slurp a drink; never to pass gas in front of another person; and never to pick or blow my nose in the company of somebody else. And once, my dad punched the shit out of me because I clinked my fork against my plate during dinner--he said that it's ill-mannered to do so.

  7. #7
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Punching the shit out of someone seem unmannerly to me. Manners should be important to everyone, it's key to civilized living. Your friend should have acknowledged the gift you sent, no question. There is no excuse, nobody can be so busy that they can't call or send a note in this day of instant communication. Next time you speak with Rose ask her about the gift, if she says she got it and thanks you then at least you know she received it. I would not send another gift to her tho....
    FPNY
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  8. #8
    veni, vidi, reliqui
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    I never give a gift with the idea that I need to be thanked, but I have to say that we are appalled when we've given gifts and received no acknowledgement. It is usually the only gift that they get from us. Recently, we gave each one of our friend's daughters a gift certificate for their birthdays and haven't got as much as an email in return.

    And once, my dad punched the shit out of me because I clinked my fork against my plate during dinner--he said that it's ill-mannered to do so.
    Your father sounds like a total douche to be honest. It is poorer manners to pound the snot out of your kid for bad table manners than to clink silverware against the china. He needs fucking help.

  9. #9
    You mad? 80KGold's Avatar
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by rareboy View Post
    Your father sounds like a total douche to be honest. It is poorer manners to pound the snot out of your kid for bad table manners than to clink silverware against the china. He needs fucking help.
    You're right. I mean, I think my dad hated me because he recognized before I did, that I was gay. I got punched in the chest and/or slapped a lot, but despite my feelings of animus toward him, his teachings about proper manners--e.g. it's impolite to chew gum during church--have stuck with me, and I haven't been able to chuck them.

    My point is that a person's ideas about decorum are likely a function of what his parents have taught. Maybe ol' girl's parents didn't let her know that every person who gives a gift needs to be thanked.
    Last edited by 80KGold; June 30th, 2013 at 09:14 AM.

  10. #10
    JUB Addict HunterM's Avatar
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Yes and no. General speaking, manner is important to me. However, it depends on the situation though. Sometimes having good manner is an overkill.

    If my partner says (imagine proper Downton Abby British accent) to me while having sex, "Pardon me, sir. May I...slap your bubble butt?" That would be a boner killer

  11. #11
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Being polite does make an impact. Sadly, people are so "me me me!" that they forget that other people exist in the world.
    "As anarchism rears its face,

    They are answered by an iron fist..."

  12. #12
    The old familiar sting blackbeltninja's Avatar
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Very important to me in that I feel compelled to display them all the time; however, I don't think I've ever snubbed anyone afterwards if they haven't shown the same courtesy to me.

    Still, after leaving a friend's place where I have had dinner (or played poker, or whatever) I will text later that night or latest the next morning thanking them for their hospitality. It's just the way my mom raised us, I suppose, which has stuck fast throughout.

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  13. #13

    Re: Are manners important to you?

    It is culture shock to watch old TV shows from the 60's like "Bewitched", end see them call each other Mr. & Mrs., or to see how customer service was in stores, the formalities in day to day interaction compared to how casual and informal it is today.

    While I generally think it was too strict back then, I think it's too lax now.

    Manners are taught, as are morals and integrity and honor. Unfortunately they're not taught to the levels they used to be.
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  14. #14
    Rambunctiously Pugnacious JayHawk's Avatar
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    It is a sign of humanity and is very important. Have you ever tried the old pshycology experiment where you hang out by a busy shopping center or grocery door and as folks approach open the door for them, then note how many look at you like you have lost your wits? It is usually surprisingly high.

    That is one of the things you note when you leave either coast and come to the Midwest. Manners exist on the highway, in the long line of traffic, in and out of busy pedestrian walkways... everywhere. One of the reasons I like it.
    Everyone can be great, because everyone can serve.
    ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.


  15. #15
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    ^ I agree if you do hold/open a door for someone older people you will get a thank you younger people not even a glance, I don't get it. Is it difficult to say thanks or even for people to have a nice attitude when assisting in customer service.

    Athough my experience has been that there is no difference in lack of manners with driving in the Midwest and the coast.

  16. #16
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    id say manners are important to me, although i think everybody has slightly different ideas about what that means.
    for example, i cuss all the fucking time ^^. at least in casual settings. id never cuss in a professional setting. im sure different people have different ideas about where to draw the line.

    forgetting to thank somebody for a gift is totally something that could happen to me. i know its not great behaviour, but i just forget things all the time. for example, i also always forget when people owe me money. every now and then, people come and give me money, going "hey buddy, finally im able to pay you back!", and im like "whahuh? uhm... ok! great, thanks!"

  17. #17
    Rambunctiously Pugnacious JayHawk's Avatar
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by vater292 View Post
    ^ I agree if you do hold/open a door for someone older people you will get a thank you younger people not even a glance, I don't get it. Is it difficult to say thanks or even for people to have a nice attitude when assisting in customer service.

    Although my experience has been that there is no difference in lack of manners with driving in the Midwest and the coast.
    Yeah there are assholes everywhere. The highways are the least likely to show you a difference. From that perspective the United States is a country of flowering green signs and jersey barriers.

    I mean after living in the communities. People seem to go out of their way not to block off entrances or exits from the roadway. Up in New England if there was a traffic jam and you were in an adjacent shopping center then you might as well go back inside and shop some more because people will hit your car before letting you out. California it was more of a Mario Andretti race to be first EVERYWHERE.... but that was just my anecdotal experience.
    Everyone can be great, because everyone can serve.
    ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.


  18. #18
    JUB Addict LeicsDom's Avatar
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Manners are more than important to me. They are essential.

  19. #19
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by JayHawk View Post
    Yeah there are assholes everywhere. The highways are the least likely to show you a difference. From that perspective the United States is a country of flowering green signs and jersey barriers.

    I mean after living in the communities. People seem to go out of their way not to block off entrances or exits from the roadway. Up in New England if there was a traffic jam and you were in an adjacent shopping center then you might as well go back inside and shop some more because people will hit your car before letting you out. California it was more of a Mario Andretti race to be first EVERYWHERE.... but that was just my anecdotal experience.
    One of the times I was in Los Angeles I was on the freeway in dead stopped traffic and it amazed me at the motorcyclist that would fly down the middle of the lanes. If someone were to open a door at the right time that would not end well.

    So far honestly the best place I have driven has actually been Canada. Actually I much prefer to work with our customers there than I do our domestic customers.

  20. #20
    JUB Addict Maklaar13's Avatar
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    It is my biggest pet peeve, I am a natural giver but often find that people do not thank me for the gifts or things that I do for them. I have to work hard at letting it go and I do but sometimes my little heart aches because the lack of manners of others.

    I want to let this one out: A couple of years ago my brother in law needed a medical test and my partner and I arranged for it because my partner is in the medical field. We did all of the work, paid for the shipping of the equipment back and forth to his house, we got him the equipment for his treatment which cost several hundred dollars. He still has not send a thank you email or card to thank us for all we did, he knows how much money we spent but never has acknowledge it, though at one point he said he would pay for the devices we provided, we have never received a penny. But get this, he was quickly to ask my sister to ask if we could send him some replacement items for it, yes we did. We still waiting to hear a thank you.

  21. #21
    Slut vater292's Avatar
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Kind of going off topic with the other posts.

    But as far as manners yes I think they are definitely important. Saying thank you, and please. I also feel offering to help with setting/cleaning up when invited over to someone else house for a party of some kind. Also just showing common courtesy.

  22. #22
    Dejavudoo
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Uber-important.

  23. #23
    美しいヨーロッパ Scealle's Avatar
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Quite, especially the basic ones like hi or greeting when seeing someone you know. I find it disappointing being always the one initiating the hi's and bye's with the people I know in real life.

  24. #24
    JUB Addict HunterM's Avatar
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Scealle View Post
    Quite, especially the basic ones like hi or greeting when seeing someone you know. I find it disappointing being always the one initiating the hi's and bye's with the people I know in real life.
    Oh...you wouldn't say this if you know some of the crazies I've known/dated. When I see them coming, I walk across the street!

    Ain't nobody got time for that.

  25. #25
    Is the King of JUB Beachguyj's Avatar
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ryuukie View Post
    This past April I sent a present to someone (Rose) who graduated from college and she never thanked me for it. I certainly think she should have called or written me an email message or sent a card to thank me. So I am really feeling irritated by her lack of manners. I have only known Rose for two years.

    Manners are important to me. How about you?
    Yes, but your situation is etiquette. Is it possible she didn't get it? But yeah, the younger generation are not as considerate in thanking people because they feel entitled.
    In his autumn, before the winter, comes man's last mad surge of youth

  26. #26
    Are you man enough? unloadonme's Avatar
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    "Manners maketh man"

    William of Wykeham

  27. #27
    BENDERBOY
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by CupidBoy View Post
    Very important.
    ^This.

    woad

  28. #28
    Oh, cum now! peeonme's Avatar
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Yes, I was raised to use proper etiquette. Such things as not interrupting other or being rude, to this day my pet peeve is to have someone interrupt me when I am in mid sentence.

  29. #29
    Sex God silentalk's Avatar
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    That was kind of rude of her. She should have shown some appreciation.

  30. #30

    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by hylas View Post
    id say manners are important to me, although i think everybody has slightly different ideas about what that means.
    for example, i cuss all the fucking time ^^. at least in casual settings. id never cuss in a professional setting. im sure different people have different ideas about where to draw the line.

    forgetting to thank somebody for a gift is totally something that could happen to me. i know its not great behaviour, but i just forget things all the time. for example, i also always forget when people owe me money. every now and then, people come and give me money, going "hey buddy, finally im able to pay you back!", and im like "whahuh? uhm... ok! great, thanks!"
    I agree with the second paragraph. I am in my head so often that I forget a lot or am oblivious to some things.

    However I don't cuss around anyone unless I've gauged they are okay with that kind of language. I was raised strictly to be polite and courteous though.

    Back to the OP though. If I send a gift to someone, I'm not going to get upset if I don't get a thank you. Your friend could have been so busy (especially graduating?!) that thanking you was on the back burner. If you gave it to her in person I would understand being upset.

  31. #31
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    I enjoy being rude...

  32. #32
    UK/GB Tv Rules!!! chillyboi's Avatar
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Not as much as Common sense!!

  33. #33
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Yes..they are important.

  34. #34
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ryuukie View Post
    Are manners important to you?
    Yes. Someone correct me if I step out of line or if I seem too demanding in what I am about to say but here goes. Yesterday I attended a very public event in the park and while I was leaving two very young and vibrant ladies were trying to cross an intersection which at the time was being directed by a uniformed Police Officer.

    The two young and vibrant ladies started off across the intersection and the police officer jumped in front of them and yelled at them yelling (no really yelling) something similar to "I am in charge here and you need to wait for my instructions."

    I thought the Police Officer (being a public servant mind you) could have been more polite in informing the young ladies that they needed to wait. The young ladies were just enjoying themselves. The Officer could have said, instead of yelling what he yelled, "Ladies for your own safety please wait for me to clear the intersection." Instead he yelled, yes yelled, "I am in charge here and you need to wait for my instructions."

    No wonder some folks tend to react violently to Police Officers. I felt that the Police Officer was very impolite.
    Last edited by Yuki Sohma; June 30th, 2013 at 04:04 PM.

  35. #35
    JUB Addict maxpowr9's Avatar
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    I prefer the saying: "you can't buy class". So true.

  36. #36
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    One thing that I don't like is when people order at a drive thru or ask for something at a store and say "let me get" instead of "can I have".
    In his autumn, before the winter, comes man's last mad surge of youth

  37. #37
    JUB Addict loveguys72's Avatar
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Manners and etiquette appropriate to the situation are what make civilization possible. If someone is ill-mannered, I will still be civil towards them, but going forward I will do my best to minimize or eliminate my need to deal with them.

  38. #38
    A couple of people said that Rose may have been too busy to thank me. Oh come on. Really? In this age of instant messages she couldn't have sent one that said thanks for the gift?

  39. #39

    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ryuukie View Post
    A couple of people said that Rose may have been too busy to thank me. Oh come on. Really? In this age of instant messages she couldn't have sent one that said thanks for the gift?
    What if she received a ton of gifts? What if she was in the process of moving? What if there was a lot going on in her life at the moment?

    There's a lot of reasons why you may not have been the number one priority. Are you close friends?

  40. #40
    JUB Addict loveguys72's Avatar
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    You have every reason to be irked. Gifts should always be acknowledged in some manner, and should always be received gracefully, no matter what it is. One Christmas, I spent a great deal of thought and effort selecting a gift for my sister. Her response on opening it was, "Did you keep the receipt?" Needless to say, from then on, it's been gift cards for her, and only because our mother is still living and I don't want to create an issue. Once Mom is gone, for variety of reasons, my sister and I will find we won't see each other as much as we might.

  41. #41

    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ryuukie View Post
    Manners are important to me. How about you?
    Obvi not if I'm posting on JUB.

    But you're going to get your 'thank you.'

    I know it.

  42. #42
    para0402
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Very important to me. Though I do forget my manners sometimes which is totally my fault and I would apologize for that later on.

  43. #43
    Count Hedgecula freefall's Avatar
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Manners are fucking important for me - as giving me a rough sketch of the fucking people's character. For instance, in your case, I would learn not to expect any goddamn fuck for her. I will not, however, make a fuss about how people do not show manners - it's the same as me bringing myself down to their fucking level.

    So long, suckas
    come now, my child. if we were planning to harm you, do you think
    we'd be lurking here beside the path in the darkest part of the forest?

  44. #44
    I need water Kabluey's Avatar
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Manners are appreciated, but actual kindness I'll take any day.

  45. #45
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kabluey View Post
    Manners are appreciated, but actual kindness I'll take any day.
    Oh, nicely said!
    Americans need to keep their guns so they can protect themselves from gun violence just like Nancy Lanza did. And like Chris Kyle did. And like Gabby Giffords did. And like Tom Clements did. And like Michael Piemonte. And Joseph Wilcox.

  46. #46

    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kabluey View Post
    Manners are appreciated, but actual kindness I'll take any day.
    Love this!

  47. #47
    Last Chance Jubber justsimon's Avatar
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Yes, manners are important.

  48. #48
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    Manners = thoughtfulness and mindfulness, absolutely. One thing that consistently annoys me is that when I'm driving in a narrow street, and I pull over to let a driver coming towards me pass, and they don't acknowledge me. A flip of the hand is all.

    -T.

    "Thank God for tea! What would the world do without tea? how did it exist? I am glad I was not born before tea." (Sydney Smith)

  49. #49
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    Re: Are manners important to you?

    UN get a memo eons ago

    tsk

    thankyou
    all dudes salute wit cock millyteeree gonna got tink new pantys
    -yea at a tinks-

  50. #50

    Re: Are manners important to you?

    I believe some people view manners, as a way of having to look up to someone for what they did instead of respect both ways.

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