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  1. #1
    Virgin Idablows's Avatar
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    Going to a daddy bar alone. Bad or good idea?

    Okay, here's the problem. I'm 21 and really, REALLY into older guys. Older guys of all kinds of varieties. The issue is none of my friends know this. While they know I'm gay and are okay with it, (my best friend is a lesbian and most of my friends are gay as well) I'm MORE than sure they would not be okay with that preference. The gay ones are all young and wanting other young guys as well, (they're the kind that scoff at the old guys at the club) and none of my straight friends would understand it.

    I'm more than sure my best friend wouldn't be down with it either because once when we went to the gay club I passively made a joke like "too bad I wont find my sugar-daddy here" and she responded with "ewww good!" Kind of pathetic reasoning but I know her personally; she just wouldn't be down.



    Anyways, long story short. There's a daddy bar I've been to once with another friend who ended up not being into it. I obviously was. I really want to go again but I literally have no one to go with and even if I did have someone to go with, I wouldn't feel comfortable "playing the game" with them there. So to anyone who has been to that type of bar, is it okay for a young guy to go alone?
    Will I look like a sad pathetic sap?!
    What do you even do if you go to a bar alone?


    I've been tempted to stoop to craigslist to find my daddy fix but it honestly makes me nervous.

  2. #2
    Sex God aaggii's Avatar
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    Re: Going to a daddy bar alone. Bad or good idea?

    Ok, no one should give a crap about who you fuck with, simple as that. You can decide not to tell them now (or ever) and when they´ll see you with ¨your daddy¨, if they say something, you can reply ¨no one decides what to like and what not¨. And that´s it.

    If you go to a club to dance, for example, you would prefer to go with someone; it´s more fun and all. But if you go there to meet new people (or should I say old? hehe), I think it´s better to go alone. This way you don´t have to worry about your friend, if he´s ok, if he wants to go home, if he sticks too much with you and you can´t make a move etc.

    Of course it´s ok to go alone, just as long as you take care of yourself. Don´t say yes to everything out of obligation, be careful if someone brings you your drink (preferable to see how it´s made and let no one touch it, but yourself), this sort of stuff.

    Bring back a cool story

  3. #3

    Re: Going to a daddy bar alone. Bad or good idea?

    you should check out silverdaddies.com

  4. #4
    Sex God jimbill's Avatar
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    Re: Going to a daddy bar alone. Bad or good idea?

    Go and have fun. Sounds like you just need a little confidence, which comes from experience. Don't drink too much. Don't do anything you don't want. But don't not do anything you want. It's your life and the time to start living it on your terms starts now. You will be the belle of the ball, trust me. You won't look pathetic, people will just realize you are on the prowl and must like daddies.

  5. #5
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    Re: Going to a daddy bar alone. Bad or good idea?

    Lots of people go to gay bars alone, it's definitely not a big deal. Also if you're looking to pick someone up it's better to be alone. You'll be fine.

    This is also a really good opportunity to educate your friends about respect. Scoffing at older gay guys or anyone in a bar that you're not into isn't cool. Older gays has it MUCH harder than the younger generation has it now and paved the way for them.

    As long as it's not causing you or anyone any harm your friends should respect whatever or whomever you're into. If they don't then they are not respecting you and don't sound like very good friends.

  6. #6

    Re: Going to a daddy bar alone. Bad or good idea?

    Going to a daddy bar alone would be like going to heaven for me. I would be as giddy as a kid in the candy store for there first time....lol

  7. #7
    Porn Star nuknuk's Avatar
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    Re: Going to a daddy bar alone. Bad or good idea?

    Buddy, YOU are ME 15 yrs. ago...

    I found out I was gay AND into daddies in the exactly same moment. I was 21 then.
    I knew what I liked, but I didn't dare to go into the bear bars and clubs. For a long time...
    Then I went to some "moderate" bars sometimes, I still didn't dare to go to the bars that I really craved...
    After 5 yrs.,l was so pissed at myself that I just started flirting with random good-looking daddies at the CSD party. Well, the last one's my husband today.

    My advice: GO FOR IT!!!
    DO ALL THAT WHICH I DIDN'T DARE!!!
    Seriously, go into a daddy bar. Of course they'll see that you are nervous, but fuck it! Everybody in your situation would be. Don't even try to play cool, it won't work (learned it the hard way). Don't mind too much about what they think of you... After all, it's really just another bar where you buy your beer, sit in front of it and look around, and in the worst case just go home drunk alone. So, there's nothing to lose. Of course, don't go home with some creep, but that's up to u to decide who's allright and who isn't.

  8. #8

    Re: Going to a daddy bar alone. Bad or good idea?

    It's totally OK to go to a daddy bar on your own! I've done it several times. However I must warn you: not every daddy is into young guys (there's a reason why they go to daddy bars of course), so success is not always guaranteed. Also, I don't know where you live, but here in Brussels North-African gigolo boys threaten to spoil the whole scene.
    But go for it mate, no one in the bar will think it's weird. Just be yourself and things will work out fine.

    PS Before I found out about sites like this or silver daddies.com I thought being attracted to much older man was exceptional. Now I know I better.

  9. #9
    Virgin Idablows's Avatar
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    Re: Going to a daddy bar alone. Bad or good idea?

    Quote Originally Posted by nuknuk View Post
    Buddy, YOU are ME 15 yrs. ago...

    I found out I was gay AND into daddies in the exactly same moment. I was 21 then.
    I knew what I liked, but I didn't dare to go into the bear bars and clubs. For a long time...
    Then I went to some "moderate" bars sometimes, I still didn't dare to go to the bars that I really craved...
    After 5 yrs.,l was so pissed at myself that I just started flirting with random good-looking daddies at the CSD party. Well, the last one's my husband today.

    My advice: GO FOR IT!!!
    DO ALL THAT WHICH I DIDN'T DARE!!!
    Seriously, go into a daddy bar. Of course they'll see that you are nervous, but fuck it! Everybody in your situation would be. Don't even try to play cool, it won't work (learned it the hard way). Don't mind too much about what they think of you... After all, it's really just another bar where you buy your beer, sit in front of it and look around, and in the worst case just go home drunk alone. So, there's nothing to lose. Of course, don't go home with some creep, but that's up to u to decide who's allright and who isn't.
    This helped me a lot! Thanks! I might muster up the courage on my next day off.

  10. #10

    Re: Going to a daddy bar alone. Bad or good idea?

    Quote Originally Posted by Idablows View Post
    This helped me a lot! Thanks! I might muster up the courage on my next day off.
    And you are TODAY.
    I'm also 21 and into older guys, but ALL the gays I know are like "ewwww to older men"

  11. #11
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    Re: Going to a daddy bar alone. Bad or good idea?

    I'm 35 and I say going alone is an excellent idea.

    Quote Originally Posted by hairybotttom View Post
    And you are TODAY.
    I'm also 21 and into older guys, but ALL the gays I know are like "ewwww to older men"
    The worst thing is they mean people over 23...

  12. #12

    Re: Going to a daddy bar alone. Bad or good idea?

    Quote Originally Posted by Harke the Boeotarch View Post
    I'm 35 and I say going alone is an excellent idea.



    The worst thing is they mean people over 23...
    Exactly!
    But I think they are the problem. I avoid them because they can be very superficial.
    I even see racism in them. It's incredibly more common for young gays to be racist rather than older ones.

  13. #13

    Re: Going to a daddy bar alone. Bad or good idea?

    There's nothing wrong with going to a gay bar alone, that's what makes us so much better than straight people if you're there it's because you had the courage to do so not because you couldn't find anyone to go with. If I'm at a gay bar and see someone who is alone who I want nothing to do with (anyone under 40) I think good for them, respect.

  14. #14
    ( ̄(エ) ̄) GamerBear's Avatar
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    Re: Going to a daddy bar alone. Bad or good idea?

    Quote Originally Posted by hairybotttom View Post
    Exactly!
    But I think they are the problem. I avoid them because they can be very superficial.
    I even see racism in them. It's incredibly more common for young gays to be racist rather than older ones.
    Racism can be found in a little bit of both young and old, but more it's more common with bears and cubs it seems.

  15. #15

    Re: Going to a daddy bar alone. Bad or good idea?

    Quote Originally Posted by GamerBear View Post
    Racism can be found in a little bit of both young and old, but more it's more common with bears and cubs it seems.
    I agree, you find it everywhere.
    From my experience, twinks discriminate more, but I'm not gonna label any label lol

    Every person is unique

  16. #16
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    Re: Going to a daddy bar alone. Bad or good idea?

    speaking from personal experience - bad idea. I went to one and the older guys are just as clique-y and snotty as their younger mid twenty to thirty counterparts. ugh... awkward.

  17. #17
    JUB Addict journo25's Avatar
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    Re: Going to a daddy bar alone. Bad or good idea?

    Of course you should go alone. The older guys will love having a younger guy there who is attentive and attracted to their age bracket.
    But you shouldn't have to hide your interest in older guys. Consider having a discussion with your friends and letting them know you don't appreciate their judgmental attitude.
    Something to keep in mind, though, in the world of "daddies": I have had silver hair since my mid-30s and a lot of younger guys find that look attractive. Although I didn't identify myself as a daddy, I have never had an objection to guys using a term like "silver daddy" to describe me. Sometimes it amuses me.
    However, any guy who referred to me as a "sugar daddy" never had the opportunity to do it again. You must know that "sugar daddy" refers to an older man who is looking to financially support a younger guy (in return for whatever). I expect dating men of whatever age to be able to support themselves and not sponge off others. I would never consider "sugar daddy" a compliment and most men I know feel the same way. So be careful not to insult someone unintentionally when you hit the daddy bars.

  18. #18
    Sex God jimbill's Avatar
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    Re: Going to a daddy bar alone. Bad or good idea?

    Quote Originally Posted by DCRacer View Post
    speaking from personal experience - bad idea. I went to one and the older guys are just as clique-y and snotty as their younger mid twenty to thirty counterparts. ugh... awkward.
    In other words, you feel rejected by all men at all gay bars? It was just all to awkward to ever go back?

  19. #19
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    Re: Going to a daddy bar alone. Bad or good idea?

    Quote Originally Posted by jimbill View Post
    In other words, you feel rejected by all men at all gay bars? It was just all to awkward to ever go back?
    no, I just didn't expect the attitude and the weird glances from some of the older 'mature' guys - it was off-putting

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