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  1. #51
    The Journey of a Lifetime Adrock-JD's Avatar
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    ^ Good analogy.

    I wonder if buying sex/companionship could become addictive. Would one ever want to "bother" with anything other than a prearrangement where you have all the control? Are escorts masochists by definition even if they perform as a sadist when payed to do so?

  2. #52
    Thankfully Liberal & Gay
    frankfrank's Avatar
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Quote Originally Posted by vulgar_newcomer View Post
    What? Looking at the men on rent guys I see a lot of decent good looking guys and many average nice ones too.
    But I don't see all of these Greek mythical Gods you describe.
    Even the average looking ones will have THE TENDENCY to have developed their social skills, and usually their sexual techniques and methods of satisfaction, well beyond the average guy. With one so-so exception, the few escorts I've hired have always been friendly and easy to get along with. Sexually there isn't much that I ask for - usually it's the superior looks, of guys who would otherwise be entirely out of my league, that I am going for. (I also think that I have ALWAYS, no exceptions, talked to the escort first before meeting.)

    Sex is NOT even close to important enough for me to spend dozens or hundreds of hours trying, and hoping, that I can actually score a young gorgeous hunk (in the eyes of this beholder) for free. So much easier just to go out there with some money and JUST DO IT, and there is a lot of time leftover to do other things I enjoy in life...

    Quote Originally Posted by ZombieKiller View Post
    You kidding me? Some of them are downright gorgeous.
    ALSO TRUE.

    The last time that I hired a "new" escort, I think, was eight years ago.
    BOSS: I'm sorry, but I'll have to lay you and Jack off.
    SUE: Can you just jack off? I feel like shit today.

    Things that come to those who wait, are often left over from whoever got there first. (source: pharmaceutical spam 2007)

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  3. #53

    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    I have two escorts whom I have hired several times a year. Both, by coincidence, for 13 years. One was a very popular porn star, retired years ago. The other a competitive bodybuilder from another country.

  4. #54
    M10000
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Why not say who it is. It's not our business . . . But make it our business

  5. #55
    Coward92
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Quote Originally Posted by Adrock-JD View Post
    ^ Good analogy.

    I wonder if buying sex/companionship could become addictive. Would one ever want to "bother" with anything other than a prearrangement where you have all the control? Are escorts masochists by definition even if they perform as a sadist when payed to do so?
    Sex addiction does exist, and hiring escorts may become a habit if someone has the money to regularly hire them.
    The problem with escorts is that they are a "quick fix" for a long lasting problem and their service provides satisfaction for a very short time. Also, they present no challange, and as such they are not providing opportunity for self-development, while courting does.

  6. #56
    nf fbt funw glbhuof gmhp SLOPPYSECONDS's Avatar
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

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  7. #57

    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Quote Originally Posted by M10000 View Post
    Why not say who it is. It's not our business . . . But make it our business
    I have promised each that I would not discuss him with anyone. Porn stars move on to other lives and bodybuilders need discretion. Many such people are willing to escort if discretion is assured.

  8. #58
    veni, vidi, reliqui
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Quote Originally Posted by Benvolio View Post
    I have two escorts whom I have hired several times a year. Both, by coincidence, for 13 years. One was a very popular porn star, retired years ago. The other a competitive bodybuilder from another country.
    Who wouldn't envy your life.

  9. #59
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Quote Originally Posted by -Kane- View Post
    Most of you seem to be painting a rosy picture of the underworld known as Male Prostitution.
    It can be a dangerous thing to partake in.. Some of those guys are on some sort of drug, and some may have STDs.
    Also, many of them use fake photos or pics that are years old.

    Just be careful.
    Are you talking from your experience or just guessing ?


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  10. #60
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Quote Originally Posted by rareboy View Post
    Who wouldn't envy your life.
    That make me laugh ....


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  11. #61
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Quote Originally Posted by LatimerRd View Post
    As a review of my prior posts will show, I eagerly defend escorts and their clients, having been an escort myself. Had many good experiences with many good men.
    But I'm responding for another reason. I looked at the pictures you posted three or so months ago, and I thought, there's no good reason why this guy can't look enormously better. He's 26 years old, it's never going to be easier for him the get in shape, harden up and put on some muscle. He should do it now. Change your diet and get to the gym. With discipline and consistency you can transform your body in three months. There are any number of online diet and exercise programs for you to look at, and youtube videos to provide direction and inspiration. You probably know the drill already. The energy you're putting into fantasizing about getting fucked should be going into creating a great body. Accomplish that, and you'll create many more opportunities for yourself, sexual and otherwise. You could start by cutting out the junk food. Your soft body looks like a junk food, high glycemic carb body. At 26 you're coursing with testosterone. It will never be easier. You shouldn't look this way. You can be the one who looks like a Greek god. One last piece of advice: shave your chest and abs.
    Great advice until this part.
    Why wasting time shaving body hair?


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  12. #62
    TheSpectatingLoner
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Quote Originally Posted by ZombieKiller View Post
    As I explained before. It's like spending $30 to buy the answer sheet to a homework. You can either do this and gained points without any effort and suffer in the long run or you can do the homework yourself, gain the experience, and ace the exam.
    This is a horrible analogy because it implies that cruising for sex is the "right" way to go about things and any other alternative is "wrong." There is no right or wrong here. Someone who pays an escort for sex might find that it buys them time to accomplish other important things in their life instead of chasing men in bars and other social situations.

  13. #63
    Coward92
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post
    This is a horrible analogy because it implies that cruising for sex is the "right" way to go about things and any other alternative is "wrong." There is no right or wrong here. Someone who pays an escort for sex might find that it buys them time to accomplish other important things in their life instead of chasing men in bars and other social situations.
    Actually it is not a horrible analogy. It is free of moral judgements, while representing the consequences of each actions. I would have judged as well. He managed to go without it.

    Those who do not take the time and effort into men are usually not the kind who take the time and effort to achieve anything. They mostly want everything fast and easy instead of creating a lasting solution. Reapeated quick-fixes are wasteful and addicting.

  14. #64
    ZombieKiller
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post
    This is a horrible analogy because it implies that cruising for sex is the "right" way to go about things and any other alternative is "wrong." There is no right or wrong here. Someone who pays an escort for sex might find that it buys them time to accomplish other important things in their life instead of chasing men in bars and other social situations.
    Like what? Working? Taking care of sick mother? Painting house?

    My partner and I went to a night club a couple weeks ago. Saw a bunch of old guys standing around holding a drink. Just standing there alone. Were they too busy to dance or talk to people also?

    I'm just saying human contact like the courting ritual is too important to let it pass by.

    Again, I'm not arguing against getting an escort. If you have the money and you want to, go for it. God bless you for doing so. Just don't use excuses like you're too busy. Even captain Sulu found time to have a daughter. As Scotty said, you make time.

  15. #65
    TheSpectatingLoner
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Quote Originally Posted by Coward92 View Post
    Those who do not take the time and effort into men are usually not the kind who take the time and effort to achieve anything. They mostly want everything fast and easy instead of creating a lasting solution. Reapeated quick-fixes are wasteful and addicting.
    And someone who hires an escort doesn't take time and effort to achieve anything? That's dumb. They took time and effort to earn the money that paid for the escort. Further more, they may be diverting the time for a man to achieve other accomplishments. It's not always black and white.

    Has it occurred to you that the person buying the escort may not want a man, but simply sex from one? Someone who doesn't want a relationship, who doesn't want to work through finding a mutual interest with someone else, but interested more in a one-sided experience in which they have control?

    Also, not everyone who has paid for escorts is automatically addicted. This is so wrong on so many levels.

  16. #66
    TheSpectatingLoner
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Quote Originally Posted by ZombieKiller View Post
    Like what? Working? Taking care of sick mother? Painting house?
    I like how you actually threw out reasonable excuses as a retort. The time I cut out of my life chasing guys, I actually have more time to spend nurturing friendships that matter more long term and actually photographing, painting, and writing--all things more important to me than some person with a penis.

    The sex I've had generally is found on Grindr. Quick and easy. But even then I have to jump through a ton of hoops to find someone sexually compatible (which is a rarity). Had I the money, I wouldn't be against buying an escort now and then. Someone to attune their actions specifically to my physical desires for a fee--and it would save me time to do precisely the type of things I like to do: go out and make friends, explore, create art.

    I'm just saying human contact like the courting ritual is too important to let it pass by.
    I never have (and never will) have the desire to "court" anyone. Not all of us is wired like you are.

    And for those who do, trying an escort once or twice doesn't stop them from courting anyone ever. In the case of the OP, he wants a safe place to experiment--maybe he'll leave with more confidence to court someone else.

  17. #67
    Coward92
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post
    And someone who hires an escort doesn't take time and effort to achieve anything? That's dumb. They took time and effort to earn the money that paid for the escort. Further more, they may be diverting the time for a man to achieve other accomplishments. It's not always black and white.

    Has it occurred to you that the person buying the escort may not want a man, but simply sex from one? Someone who doesn't want a relationship, who doesn't want to work through finding a mutual interest with someone else, but interested more in a one-sided experience in which they have control?

    Also, not everyone who has paid for escorts is automatically addicted. This is so wrong on so many levels.
    Heeey! You are the one who said that they can free up time to use it for other activities. What you said suggested that people who hire escorts wanted to save time. I think pretty much no-one thinks about it that way, or at least very few. It IS possible that some of them do though. I've seen crazier things.
    I am not dumb at all, neither is my opinion I just have a tendency of having opinions that are not popular and this is why people discredit my opinions as bullshit without giving a second thought.
    Also I never said that everyone is addicted, I said that you have a potential chance of becoming addicted. It is not wrong on any levels. It is just a fact. You may become addicted to almost anything. Especially quick fixes.

  18. #68
    Coward92
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post

    I never have (and never will) have the desire to "court" anyone. Not all of us is wired like you are.

    And for those who do, trying an escort once or twice doesn't stop them from courting anyone ever. In the case of the OP, he wants a safe place to experiment--maybe he'll leave with more confidence to court someone else.
    Uhm? Where would he gain confidence from? You know that the escort is there for your money, and while wealth may give you a degree of confidence, it will not replace confidence that is earned though the recognition of other people.
    An escort sells a physical interaction, and possibly the illusion of being interested in you. It gives no reason to confidence and it is not going to grant you a feeling of being recognized as a valuable person.

    You may not have the desire to court anyone, but you are interacting with people. People who are important to you, people who matter to you. Friends, family, people from work. You require them as much as they require you. Having no desire to court anyone is one thing. That will only last as long as you find someone interesting.

  19. #69
    TheSpectatingLoner
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    The confidence from having a better physical understanding of his body. That's what the question was about.

    I'm not annoyed by your opinions because they are different--but because of their blatant reliance on false assumptions of people and their motives. A classic example of thinking because someone's preferences may e different from yours, they are safe to vilify without reason. That kind of mentality is far too common here on jUB

  20. #70
    TheSpectatingLoner
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    BTW, a LOT of the guys I've talked to here in regards to escorts consider or do it because they are annoyed with the bullshit that comes with the bar scene, which many find a waste of time and money. It's not always a case of not being able to get laid the "right" way--certainly not a case of not putting forward the effort.

  21. #71
    Coward92
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post
    The confidence from having a better physical understanding of his body. That's what the question was about.

    I'm not annoyed by your opinions because they are different--but because of their blatant reliance on false assumptions of people and their motives. A classic example of thinking because someone's preferences may e different from yours, they are safe to vilify without reason. That kind of mentality is far too common here on jUB
    Oh god... Because being experienced in sex is so much more important than being passionate and open to experimentation.
    Confidence is either there or it isn't. It comes from inside and the things you do and how people react to it and the way you process other people's reactions.
    False assumptions? Your assumptions are just as false.
    And where did we vilify anyone? We just stated the possible negative consequences of the discussed subject. Negative consequences do exist. People are willing to fool themselves.
    Also, we mean well, however hard it is for you to believe.
    Last edited by Coward92; June 12th, 2013 at 09:29 AM.

  22. #72
    JUB Addict darden's Avatar
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    the "time" argument is probably the one I can empathize with the most.

    if all I was interested in was having casual sex with a guy I'll probably never see again, there's definitely an appeal to just ordering up a prostitute and paying a day's wages rather than going to a bar or hookup site and dealing with flakes, guys who are only interested in talking, guys who may not be sexually compatible with me, guys who may not be attracted to me, guys who I may not be attracted to, the nervousness of having to impress a guy, etc, etc.

  23. #73
    TheSpectatingLoner
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Quote Originally Posted by Coward92 View Post
    Oh god... Because being experienced in sex is so much more important than being passionate and open to experimentation.
    Confidence is either there or it isn't.
    More absolutist views.

    Confidence comes to people differently and for different reasons.

    Some people naturally have confidence. Some get it from going out and experiencing new things. Some like being taught first. There is no one way to gain confidence. Everyone is different.

    Like someone said in another thread, many a father or uncle ha taken their young boy to an escort for a first time. It's not that serious.

  24. #74
    Coward92
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post
    More absolutist views.

    Confidence comes to people differently and for different reasons.

    Some people naturally have confidence. Some get it from going out and experiencing new things. Some like being taught first. There is no one way to gain confidence. Everyone is different.

    Like someone said in another thread, many a father or uncle ha taken their young boy to an escort for a first time. It's not that serious.
    "Naturally"
    Please research confidence and leadership capabilities related to sociometry before you try to make it sound so simple.

    Absolutist because? Arguments that support this theory of yours?
    Last edited by Coward92; June 12th, 2013 at 09:43 AM.

  25. #75
    ZombieKiller
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Quote Originally Posted by darden View Post
    the "time" argument is probably the one I can empathize with the most.

    if all I was interested in was having casual sex with a guy I'll probably never see again, there's definitely an appeal to just ordering up a prostitute and paying a day's wages rather than going to a bar or hookup site and dealing with flakes, guys who are only interested in talking, guys who may not be sexually compatible with me, guys who may not be attracted to me, guys who I may not be attracted to, the nervousness of having to impress a guy, etc, etc.
    My partner found me on the internet website plenty of fish. At the time, I had just broken up with a long term boyfriend. Was bored to death in the evening, so I decided to make up an online profile for the first time. Yes, this was my first time trying out an online dating/hookup site.

    Felt kinda silly with myself, so I put down in my profile (not exact words, but pretty darn close) that I've been through many relationships and that at this point in my life I don't want to suck up anymore. I will act exactly the same way to you whether I just met you or if I've been dating you for 3 years. So, for those young guys that are out looking for a fairy tale relationship, I'm not it. Please seek somewhere else.

    That's all I wrote in my profile. After several creepy messages, I got one that stood out. The message simply read "I don't believe in fairy tale, am I too young?"

    I was curious with the message, so I clicked on his profile. Holy cow, the dude was gorgeous. Early 20s. Exactly what people would describe as a twink. He looks like something from a damn escort website. There were pictures of him at what I recognized as pride. So, I messaged him back saying nope he wasn't too young at all and when were those pictures taken? He said this year's pride. So, I asked to meet him. I'll admit that it was more lust than anything that I wanted to meet him for. Still had my reservations... maybe those pictures weren't really him. I could have walked right straight into a trap.

    Well, I went to pick him up at his apartment and yeah he looked exactly like his picture.

    Nowadays, I've admitted to him that it was lust more than anything else that I wanted to see him. And he's admitted to me that he was just looking for some fun and sex. Neither of us thought we'd be stuck with each other forever.

    The point is the courting ritual isn't as complicated as some of you guys think. If one doesn't work, move on. Don't kill yourself over a failed attempt. You know how many times I tried and failed? More than I could count.

    Again, I'm not arguing for or against getting an escort. The OP is young and has his life ahead of him. I wanted to bring his attention to some things that come with an escort. I'm sure he'll gain some confidence with an escort, but chances are it will be misplaced confidence. The escort will not give him a real feedback. And we get most of our experience and confidence from other people's feedback. The escort will be there and make you feel good because he's paid to. You won't know at all if you did something wrong or right. He'll give you a positive feedback regardless.

  26. #76
    TheSpectatingLoner
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    I don't think the OP was looking for feedback, he's looking for a safe space to gain comfort with himself.

    Furthermore, simply because you've found courtship worth it doesn't mean the next guy will. I certainly don't.

  27. #77
    TheSpectatingLoner
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Quote Originally Posted by ZombieKiller View Post
    Well, what you said makes perfect sense. But human nature often times not logical. I know a couple guys that felt really down because they were actually into those escorts they hired.

    Just sayin'. Hire an escort if you want. Just keep in mind that at the end of the night you haven't gained anything. The escort is gone and you're alone again.

    I have a partner that is probably the most lovely and warm guy I have ever known in my life. The bonus is he also is pretty darn hot. He looks like one of those twinks off of an escort site. I've put a lot of effort into getting him. And I'm happy with the result. No need to empty my bank account for a couple nights of pleasure with no lasting effects.
    1.) it's silly to brag about how "hot" your partner is here. You likely get that chance because you are "hot" yourself. Not everyone else is hot and can reasonably expect to get sex with a "hot" guy. One of the reasons money serves as an equalizer.

    2.) your friends obviously miss the point. The point of hiring an escort is to BE alone in the end. To pay for a service and for them to be out of your way when all is said and done. The OP doesn't seem to be seeking sex with an escort out of loneliness. The fact that you are assuming such says a lot about YOU and not about the folks who are considering escorts. Stop putting motives onto others that do not exist.
    Last edited by TheSpectatingLoner; June 12th, 2013 at 12:57 PM.

  28. #78
    JUB Addict darden's Avatar
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    courtship and having a no-strings roll in the hay are two different things.

    I can understand the argument that hooking up with someone at a bar or over a hookup site can be more trouble than it's worth if all you're after is sex and have no desire for anything more with a guy... my own experiences in that scene have involved a ton of flakes, assholes, and all-around pain in the ass guys, but I was also looking for more than just sex. if I wasn't, I might not have gone through the trouble.

  29. #79
    ZombieKiller
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post
    I don't think the OP was looking for feedback, he's looking for a safe space to gain comfort with himself.

    Furthermore, simply because you've found courtship worth it doesn't mean the next guy will. I certainly don't.
    I think you have me confused for someone else.

    Please go back and reread my previous posts. At no point did I say anything about getting an escort being bad or how you shouldn't get it.

    The OP said very specifically that he had only recently came out of the closet and that he's completely new with this dating/hooking up thing. He is considering getting an escort for his first time because he has no idea how to begin finding a guy or what to do. Here are his exact words.

    Quote Originally Posted by OP
    This is not my proudest moment. But part of me thinks, "so what? I've got money; he's got time, let's do this." I've never been with another guy before (I'm 26 and was a closet-case until just this past year). I think it would be helpful to be with a guy for the first time where there was nothing at stake--no feelings, no possible relationship, no pressure, etc. It could be...educational?

    Hell, I'm not even sure I'd have sex with him. Part of me just wants to sit across a restaurant table from a hot guy for a few hours. Has anyone here hired an escort before? (There have been old posts on this but I wanted to get current feedback.) I know the legality is tricky in most states/countries (which is why I'd probably just opt for a massage).
    So, he thinks he just wants sex. The way I interpret his post is he intends to get into the gay dancing subculture later on, but since he is clueless now he might as well get an escort.

    The initial responses have been "go for it, good job". And if you would reread my posts, I also said "go for it".

    But I didn't stop there. I wanted the OP to be aware of what he's getting himself into.

    Yes, yes, I get it that you don't care about getting a feedback from your sex partner for the night. But look at the OP again. He sure as hell looks to me like he wants to get involve with the gay mating dance. And this involves courtship. And courtship involves trial and error. And trial and error involves getting feedback (positive or negative) from your potential mates.

    Again, please don't get me wrong. I get it that you don't care for the whole courtship thing. But this isn't about you. This is about the OP. He is nervous because this will be his first time out in the gay world and he has no idea how to proceed. So, he thought an escort is safe. I interpret this to mean he intends to do this more. Get it? If he's going to get involve with the whole gay mating dance thing, then getting an escort will do little good for him except that night of sex. He will not learn anything from it other than how much money to pay.

    If this was just as simple as him wanting sex, then sure get an escort. But this is more than that.

    Again, I get it that you don't care for the whole courtship thing. That's why you prefer escorts.

    Hey, OP, do you want to get involved with the gay mating and courting ritual or do you just want sex like The SpectatingLoner? If all you want is sex and you have the money, then ignore everything I've said. Just hire one escort after another.

    But if you want do more than that, then I strongly urge you to start trying now.

  30. #80
    ZombieKiller
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post
    1.) it's silly to brag about how "hot" your partner is here. You likely get that chance because you are "hot" yourself. Not everyone else is hot and can reasonably expect to get sex with a "hot" guy. One of the reasons money serves as an equalizer.
    I wasn't bragging. That wasn't my point at all. It might have been bragging had I not said anything else other than my partner being a hot guy. But you conveniently ignored all the paragraphs before that stating my failures.

    The point I was trying to make was I'm an average looking guy (I ain't hot) and my failures have been everywhere from mediocre to being spectacular. Do you know what it's like to be stood up by a guy I invited to a dance and all my friends knew I invited him? Do you know what it's like to attend a gay meeting and left with no one while everyone else found someone? I'm sure you do, because you're the spectacularly loner. I'm telling you now. I'm an average looking guy. Nothing special to see here. And I've had many many failures.

    If you want something, you have to work for it without giving up. Or you can just hire escorts.

    2.) your friends obviously miss the point. The point of hiring an escort is to BE alone in the end. To pay for a service and for them to be out of your way when all is said and done. The OP doesn't seem to be seeking sex with an escort out of loneliness. The fact that you are assuming such says a lot about YOU and not about the folks who are considering escorts. Stop putting motives onto others that do not exist.
    I beg to differ about how you interpret what the OP meant.

    Even if he wants to be alone after the encounter, he sounds like he wants to see out more people. So, he can either keep paying them to have sex with him or he can learn how to court someone.

    And no, paying someone to have sex with you won't give you any "experience" on how to court someone.

    But again, if the OP really wants to be another spectacular loner, then I say go for it OP. I'm not judging. I'm trying to make him aware of what reality is.

  31. #81
    ZombieKiller
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post
    I don't think the OP was looking for feedback, he's looking for a safe space to gain comfort with himself.
    Yeah, if the OP was delusional. The OP needs to realize that if he hires an escort he

    (1) won't find any feedback he could trust
    (2) won't gain any confidence if he was being realistic instead of delusional
    (3) won't learn shit about gay sex because the escort will compliment him no matter what and
    (4) won't gain any comfort with himself if he was being realistic.

    The only thing he will gain is having sex that night. That's it. That's why I said go for it if he wants to. Just realize it for what it is and don't try to kid himself into thinking he will gain anything long lasting from it.

  32. #82
    TheSpectatingLoner
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    SPECTATING Loner!

    Jesus!!

    Your views seem to revolve around this ridiculous fallacy that casual sex is only a substitute for failing at love. It's a ridiculous notion. And someone that unable to see that others may view sec differently than try do just isn't worth the time. Good day, sir.

  33. #83
    ZombieKiller
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post
    SPECTATING Loner!

    Jesus!!

    Your views seem to revolve around this ridiculous fallacy that casual sex is only a substitute for failing at love. It's a ridiculous notion. And someone that unable to see that others may view sec differently than try do just isn't worth the time. Good day, sir.
    Apology for misreading your name.

    You misunderstand me again. At no point did I say or even imply that casual sex is only a substitute for failing at love. In fact, for years I was perfectly happy with having casual sex with anyone I could get my hands on. No strings attached. I get that. In fact, being monogamous with my now partner wasn't even my idea... or his. I intended our relationship to go no further than fucking.

    I was just trying to say that the OP shouldn't kid himself if he thinks getting an escort will solve his problem of being a newbie at this. And he shouldn't kid himself that he will gain any self confidence or experience from getting an escort. It's like you don't know how to do algebra so you hire a math teacher to do your homework for you. You ain't gonna learn shit and you ain't gonna be more comfortable at math.

    Anyway, I will simply agree to disagree with you.

  34. #84
    JUB Addict DigitalFudge's Avatar
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Since I'm young, have an amazing body, and a stunning personality I could totes be an escort, tbqh.


    If this is what the clientele looks like, um, lemme swerve.

  35. #85
    Fizzy Grant BFizzle's Avatar
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Initially I was SCANDALIZED by the number of yeses in this thread, but, upon taking a second look at the posters, I'm not surprised they had to pay for it.

    I'm just thankful those are problems I don't have.

  36. #86
    Spitfire with a smile. yeahright1991's Avatar
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Given the situation you are in...I understand how this can be a logical solution. Personally, I wouldn't. The idea of paying someone to A). Get their rocks off...and B). Using my body in some way shape or form to get their rocks off (even if it provides me with pleasure)...doesn't rectify itself in my mind. Furthermore, escorts are simply using a loophole to provide illegal services.

    I almost ended up dating someone who turned out to be an escort...and when he gave me the frame of mind he entered when hooking-up with a client...I was baffled. He provided a good service but told me that it was impossible for him to commit as much to the sex with clients as he did with people he dated (and had sex with free of charge) because he had to reserve a certain part of himself to keep from falling for a client at any time. He always reminded me and himself...these are people who need to pay to get it. And in a way kept them on a lower mental rung.

    I'm sure that you are gorgeous, you're young, and you have the time to explore the LBGT community and all of it's components including hooking up (be it organically based, website facilitated or otherwise) or choosing to look for the "right one". I would suggest making sure that you like sex with men prior to setting out on looking for "the one".

    In addition to all of that...I would suggest reading up on MSM sex prior to doing anything so you can be prepared to set it off and let backs be blown out when you get there

    Good luck,
    Will.

  37. #87
    nf fbt funw glbhuof gmhp SLOPPYSECONDS's Avatar
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    why no a tip yaself ans no remeba who ya is afta

    ha

    genesus away mak a thread a alls cocksorsbuttfacesuckaswoteva thinkin yea let make thread
    !st ans way easy but 1st gotta Keyboard got get then a hit T key ans H RE A D YAY!!!!!

  38. #88

    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Im all about it. I actually find it hot, especially when the guy is straight. I think its hot to pay for sex. And if the only way I can eat a hot guys ass is if I pay for it . . . so be it. No shame

  39. #89
    TheSpectatingLoner
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Quote Originally Posted by BFizzle View Post
    Initially I was SCANDALIZED by the number of yeses in this thread, but, upon taking a second look at the posters, I'm not surprised they had to pay for it.

    I'm just thankful those are problems I don't have.
    Point me to one person in this thread who HAS to pay for sex.

  40. #90
    MysteryLovesCompany
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    I don't think so. I'm not looking for perfect 10's. I like guys who are a little more average and some of them like me as well, so getting laid has never been a big problem.

  41. #91
    Lions&Tigers&Bears Oh My!
    eastofeden's Avatar
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    I paid an escort once and trust me...I did not have to pay for it. Quite the opposite...but that was the beauty of it.

    I have an invisible sign that tells guys to build me a picket fence....I easily attract obsessive and over confident pushy type A personalities. I used to truly believe I had some kind of magnet inside of me and I wanted it gone. I never once even thought to myself "Gee...I wish I had a date"...or..."Gee...where can I meet some guys?",...or "Gee...I wish I could find a lover".....and this was my state of mind at the time. I hated dating of any kind and I used to like the bi or straight guys because they just wanted sex and it was such a nice escape. Usually I got a lot of expectations from guys along the lines of "I thought we were going out" or "When you said this I thought it meant that". A lot of emotional blackmail and manipulations and sickening grand gestures of "love" that would make me vomit in my mouth..

    ...so when the escort approached me one day just after I had opened the bar because he ran out of money in a poker game and wanted back in the game...I was initially taken aback and then suddenly I was turned on. He proposed that he suck my dick and I pay him enough to get back in the game. I told him that I didn't like blow jobs but if he let me fuck him then I would pay him. He tried to renegotiate because "fucking should be more" but I said no thanks and a couple minutes later he had his pants off and he was bent over a bar stool. I really loved it because everything was exactly as it should be...no hidden agendas...he wanted money and I wanted to have sex with NO STRINGS ATTACHED! That is what turned me on...we fuck and he goes and I don't have to deal with anyone else's "feelings".

    He came back in later that day and I offered to pay him for the night...what a turn on. I told him to not tell me anything about himself and I would do the same...just be a fuck toy. I had a great time. I couldn't wait to see him again though I didn't have a number and one night when I was talking to this guy in another club someone came up behind me and covered my eyes and put a drink in front of me...it was him...and he told the other guy I was talking with to get lost. YIKES... That should have been a clue for what was to come.... I thought that was weird considering our arrangement. He was happy to tell me he wanted us to fuck again but this time no money. I was uneasy because that was the turn on for me and I knew it but he was such a great fuck I went along with the idea...I did notice he had that usual possessive thing I get from guys but I thought maybe he just wanted sex again so I ignored it. Bad idea. The sex was not as good...he wanted to get romantic...he asked me to drive him to his home as he left his car and when I did... SURPRISE...I met his wife and six kids...I was his "friend from work" OMG! He didn't even bother telling me ahead of time. While I was sitting in the kitchen he was grinning at me and getting off... like we "had a secret". UGH. So not my style. Long story short...he turned out like most of the other guys except he came with a lot of "ahem" surprises. He was actually worse because he "thought" we were already lovers because we had a few hot fuck sessions. F U C K. So much for that. I still remember the first day and night though and the freedom paying for it gave me..it was exhilarating.

    I prefaced with that rather long story (sorry about that) for a reason. It's nice to see only a few of the posters having value judgements about hiring an escort. Ignore them. You are a consenting adult and you should do it if you like and don't let anyone else define your experience for you. Having no strings sex on your terms with a consenting and willing partner can be fabulous! The best thing about it in my opinion is that it is what it is and if you have ever had to play games with someone you will find it is worth every cent because the time and energy those games waste can never be recovered. Had I known that I would have paid a lot sooner because my time was worth more than the money I would have paid. I was only single for a fraction of my adult life and I tried to enjoy myself as much as possible.

    ...use your instincts and feel out the guy...make sure he makes you feel comfortable...even if all you want is conversation and companionship versus sex... because if he doesn't he is not doing his job. Remember.....we all prostitute ourselves every day of our lives so there is no shame whatsoever in exchanging sex for money...people exchange their labor for money all the time and if you get rid of other people's value judgements it is exactly the same situation.

    PS...if you do decide to go for it...have fun!

  42. #92

    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Hiring escort for taste, kink/ sexual connoisseur is allowed in my book and common sense of most people here, no?
    But expecting an escort to fulfill/fix your relationship issue/longing/loneliness is a much delusional and Im sorry to say that kind of gay man are the most "pathetic."

    If I heard someone posted a thread about "escort might fall in love with me" then Im gonna throw the "pathetic" comment.

  43. #93
    Once Again Given Flesh. MoufOfKhaos's Avatar
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    ^Didn't you just do that already?

    Quote Originally Posted by BFizzle View Post
    Initially I was SCANDALIZED by the number of yeses in this thread, but, upon taking a second look at the posters, I'm not surprised they had to pay for it.

    I'm just thankful those are problems I don't have.
    Such a shining personality you have.
    "As anarchism rears its face,

    They are answered by an iron fist..."

  44. #94

    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    ^
    with today's budget- I cant effort them yet. But leaning towards I wait until my time is over.

  45. #95
    Once Again Given Flesh. MoufOfKhaos's Avatar
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    I meant calling the idea of hiring an escort for a means other than taste or kink "pathetic"... but okay.
    "As anarchism rears its face,

    They are answered by an iron fist..."

  46. #96
    TheSpectatingLoner
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Quote Originally Posted by Coward92 View Post
    "Naturally"
    Please research confidence and leadership capabilities related to sociometry before you try to make it sound so simple.

    To some it is simple. I've known many a friend who's confidence levels came (as they put it) from the fact that they never had a reason not to be confident. Once again, every is different. You seem to think everyone has the same motives for the same reasons.

  47. #97
    Coward92
    Guest

    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post
    To some it is perceived as simple.
    Corrected it for you.
    It is a quite complex phenomena

  48. #98
    ZombieKiller
    Guest

    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post
    To some it is simple. I've known many a friend who's confidence levels came (as they put it) from the fact that they never had a reason not to be confident. Once again, every is different. You seem to think everyone has the same motives for the same reasons.
    I'm sorry, but I would have to disagree with this.

    In this particular case, it is not as simple as live and let live. I've known plenty of people who are stricken by a delusional sense of confidence. I've also known plenty of people who are egoistic thinking they've got confidence.

    There are many personality traits that look like confidence to the inexperienced. Some of these fake confidence personality traits are so severe that they are considered mental disorder.

    Confidence isn't as simple as being sure of yourself. I knew someone who was diagnosed with borderline disorder, and trust me he was always very sure of himself. It doesn't mean it was real confidence.

    Look, we get that you don't care much for the courting game. We know that you think hiring an escort is more convenient than courting someone and that it saves you time so you can paint... or do whatever the hell you do. But please stop telling people they can get confidence from paying for sex. The OP is obviously young and inexperienced, let alone he just came out of the closet. The last thing he needs is misguidance.

    If he just wants sex and he has the money for it, then I say go ahead and hire an escort. Just don't expect he will somehow magically gain real confidence from paying someone to tell him he is so great.

  49. #99
    Fizzy Grant BFizzle's Avatar
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    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    Quote Originally Posted by MoufOfKhaos View Post
    Such a shining personality you have.
    Right? I could be an escort, too.

  50. #100
    M10000
    Guest

    Re: So I'm thinking of hiring an escort...

    This isnt an escort's house

    Its a glass house

    Last edited by M10000; June 13th, 2013 at 10:58 AM.

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