May 14th, 2013, 02:16 PM
On the Prowl
The Times Are Changing (A work of semi fiction)
Today I witnessed something I thought I'd never see in my lifetime. It was early in the morning, and I was driving down Marbach Rd. now for those that don't know John Jay High School is located on Marbach as I said it was early in the morning, and the kids were all rushing to get to class. That in itself wasn't unusual what floored me was this group of five teenage boys ranging in age from 15 to 18 that were clearly openly gay and downright proud of it.
This was amazing to me, but what was truly fantastic was the fact that the other kids ignored them sure there were a couple that stared, but overall the majority of them just went about their business. In my day if we went to school as our true selves it was a guaranteed trip to the nurse after a severe beating. I was lucky I got the usual "faggot" but because I "didn't show" like some of my friends I was spared most of the time. "Tommy" wasn't so lucky he would get bullied mercilessly on a daily basis until one day he had enough and showed up with a knife to attack his bullies he was busted with the knife before anything bad happened he was expelled and there was never an investigation as to why a student who had never been in trouble before showed up to school one day with a knife. I never saw Tommy again people say he killed himself a few months later. That was it for me, the year was 1984 I was 17. and I told my semi conservative Mexican American mother that I was gay. To the day she died I always felt she never truly accepted me, and I resented her for it always. The derision I received from "family" and "friends" was silent. You see I was punished by being shunned in those days being gay and Mexican was as bad as being a baby killer on a spree. Everybody knew they just avoided me as much as they could, and they never talked about it to my face just whispers in the wind. Not all of them played the denial game that my family is so fucking good at playing. One person who I looked up to and respected above all else. Told me straight to my face "I'll never understand this it sickens me just thinking about it she won't tell you, but Tia is heartbroken you've killed your mother, and you're probably gonna die of AIDS" and there were two others not blood relations no they were two cunts that married into the family the first one told me at the thanksgiving after I came out "Don't act gay you embarrass me and "Tom", of course "Tom" didn't have the balls to tell me himself. The second special cunt liked to play this game I would show up at family parties which by the way I stopped going after that thanksgiving but this bitch would still come and visit my mother her game would be "Oh Robert you're 18 and still no girlfriend" mother would look at me and with her eyes beg me not to start shit. So my response was always "I haven't found that special girl" . Now some family was two faced what I mean is that to my face they would say " Oh how brave of you I have nothing against gays I just want you know" then behind my back " How could Tia keep him in the house I would kick him out" I'm pretty sure these family members thought I'd never find out but "Tia" would tell me anything she could use as a weapon to hurt me. She was very good at it. So all of this made me insecure, with no self esteem and promiscuous looking for the love and the acceptance that I craved for so desperately I was a text book case self loathing homosexual I engaged in behavior that I shouldn't have why I never caught a disease and died I'll never know it's like some fucking cosmic joke and I didn't get it. Only now 30 yrs later am I finally realizing I was worth something I am worth something it may be to late for me to achieve my full potential, but it fills my heart with joy that those five teenage queens will grow up in a world with more tolerance and they will know that they are worth something. Bigots know this you can only hide behind your religion for so long, I for one look forward to the "Secular War" the right is so eager to incite and I say to the victor go the spoils.... Marriage Equality for all..
May 14th, 2013, 10:10 PM
Re: The Times Are Changing (A work of semi fiction)
Indeed, the times are changing. Full acceptance is yet to happen, but it will. There will always be people out there with a negative attitude, but soon the majority will prevail. But with acceptance comes responsibility. If we want respect, we have to return respect in kind and not lower ourselves to their negative level. Open and positive makes for a happy life and a true feeling of self worth.