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  1. #1
    carlos_hoodios
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    Romantic gesture or too keen?

    Hey all (Just an FYI before I start...I am 26 and he is 31)

    So I met up with my ex at the weekend...we haven't seen each other for about 4 years since we broke up (we broke up because I was young and pretty immature about our relationship before). When we saw each other it was awesome, we chatted as if we had never stopped seeing each other, hung out for the day and then I dropped him off at his house. He kissed me when we got in the car and I reciprocated...it was really nice actually

    Anyway, so we spoke yesterday and just said we should take it slow, meet up in a couple of weeks or so (we are both busy this weekend) and just see what happens. I am all for that, I don't want to rush into it like I did before. However, he has an art exhibition on Friday and it is only 20 minutes out of the way of where I am heading for the weekend. I wondered if it would be a nice gesture to surprise him by turning up, only for an hour or so, just to see his work and show my support? I am just really worried about seeming too keen...

    Thanks!

  2. #2
    loki81
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    Re: Romantic gesture or too keen?

    if it were me, I wouldn't surprise him (and likewise, probably wouldn't want to be surprised)... but maybe mention that you'll be in the area and ask if it'd be cool if you dropped by?

    (on the other hand, if he has whatever excuse for why he might not want you to -- eg: don't go out of your way, you'll find it boring, etc -- don't push it)

  3. #3
    I'm now a grandfather! JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
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    Re: Romantic gesture or too keen?

    I wouldn't surprise him out of fear that it could be you getting the bigger surprise.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

  4. #4
    FEAR THE LIBERAL DETENTE! TX-Beau's Avatar
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    Re: Romantic gesture or too keen?

    Yeah I'm not a huge fan of the "surprise" visit either. Let him know you want to come and give him the chance to invite you.
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  5. #5

    Re: Romantic gesture or too keen?

    Do not surprise him! He may have a date. If he wanted you to go to the art exhibit, he'd have invited you.
    Bad decisions make good stories.

  6. #6
    Kein Ayin Hara JUB Admin KaraBulut's Avatar
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    Re: Romantic gesture or too keen?

    Text him best wishes the day of the exhibition but don't show up in person unless he invites you.

  7. #7

    Re: Romantic gesture or too keen?

    Quote Originally Posted by carlos_hoodios View Post
    Hey all (Just an FYI before I start...I am 26 and he is 31)

    So I met up with my ex at the weekend...we haven't seen each other for about 4 years since we broke up (we broke up because I was young and pretty immature about our relationship before). When we saw each other it was awesome, we chatted as if we had never stopped seeing each other, hung out for the day and then I dropped him off at his house. He kissed me when we got in the car and I reciprocated...it was really nice actually

    Anyway, so we spoke yesterday and just said we should take it slow, meet up in a couple of weeks or so (we are both busy this weekend) and just see what happens. I am all for that, I don't want to rush into it like I did before. However, he has an art exhibition on Friday and it is only 20 minutes out of the way of where I am heading for the weekend. I wondered if it would be a nice gesture to surprise him by turning up, only for an hour or so, just to see his work and show my support? I am just really worried about seeming too keen...

    Thanks!
    Follow your own advice, and conversation with him, and don't go. You're already attempting to repeat your past mistakes.
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  8. #8
    JUB Addict Georgiadude's Avatar
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    Re: Romantic gesture or too keen?

    I agree not to surprise him however, I don't see anything wrong with mentioning to him you're going to be in the area and wouldn't mind going for a drink or something. Leave it open ended and let him know it's ok to say "no" or if he'll be too busy. I'd just make a casual comment without inviting yourself. Something like "hey, I know you have the exhibit at (blank) this weekend. I'm going to be staying 20 minutes from there. I have (blank) going on at blah blah" Just something to let him know you're in the area and are open to getting together. He can't invite you if he doesn't know you're going to be in the area. Just showing up would be more appropriate if you are a steady couple or something like that. Even then it can be awkward because you don't know who else is there or if he needs to keep things professional.

    Good luck. I hope you have a great time regardless of whether you see him or not.

    Steven.

  9. #9
    nerd of prey hylas's Avatar
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    Re: Romantic gesture or too keen?

    another vote in the "no surprise" ballot box here.
    id drop by, though. just tell him about it in advance.

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