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  1. #1

    Premature Ejaculation >.<

    Hey everyone,

    So finally came out last March and so far it has been great. I've been meeting a lot of guys my age and fooling around. Most are from Grindr, but some have been people who I've known for a while that just happened to be gay/bi once I told them. I'm really happy with my life right now and finally enjoying some semblance of a social life for the first time.

    However, I am having a MAJOR issue with premature ejaculation. I know this is probably normal for someone who is just getting into sex after being a banished semi-virgin before (my sexual encounters were few and far between up till now), but I'm still having such a hard time learning to control it. I'm not even trying to get it over with quickly. As soon as a guy goes down on me it feels amazing for a few seconds, and then I have to stop him because I know I'm gonna blow my load soon. The only time where I'm able to last is when I'm having sex when drunk; then I can last a little longer but still not nearly as long as the other guy I'm with.

    After I blow the first time I'm usually still really horny and into it, however. But my penis still goes soft for a while and can take some time to get up. I've been kinda delegating myself as bottom most of the time because I blow before we get to the actual sex part, and then I can't get it up enough to stick it in.

    I guess my main question is, how long should I go like this before worrying about it/seeing a doctor? (BTW I'm 20 years old). And in the meantime are there any quick tricks I could try that could stop this? It's really bothering me.

    Thanks!

  2. #2
    Slut earlgrey's Avatar
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    Re: Premature Ejaculation >.<

    Is this only happening when you're with others, or do you cum very quickly when you're alone as well?

  3. #3
    I'm now a grandfather! JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
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    Re: Premature Ejaculation >.<

    The oldest preventative is jerking off before a date or hook up.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

  4. #4
    JUB Addict Georgiadude's Avatar
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    Re: Premature Ejaculation >.<

    this happens to quite a few guys. especially younger guys that are just starting to explore things. you get excited, this is new & exciting & your body reacts. It's really normal. Don't think there is anything wrong with you. There isn't. It will get better with experience and age. There are a couple of things you can do. As mentioned try to jo before you meet up. Usually the second time will take a little longer. Also SLOW DOWN. Spend lots of time with foreplay, kissing and touching. I know it sounds silly but pay attention to your breathing. Try to take slow, full breaths instead of panting like a lot of guys do. When you feel like you're getting close, back off. Slow down. take your hand off your dick or if your topping someone, pull out. If your partner is jerking you off just reach down and move his hand. Take a minute or two and let your body calm down. then resume what you were doing. When you jo alone pay attention to how you touch yourself, the pressure you use, the speed of your hand. You'll find ways of touching yourself that don't pull your trigger. Once you find those you can start doing the same thing with a sexual partner. Those are just a few ideas. Most important is that you don't think theres anything wrong with you or avoid being with someone because of it. Just be yourself and have fun.

    Steven.

  5. #5

    Re: Premature Ejaculation >.<

    like steven said...control your breathing.

    Another tip that I used to find helpful is to concentrate on relaxing your butt muscles...they tense up the more aroused you get. A lot of the stimulation in mental too, so you can try to distract yourself by reciting multiplication tables, ABC's backwards, or something similar, in your head.
    Bad decisions make good stories.

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