I apologize in advance if I end up rambling a lot but my brain can't really process what I'm going through so I figure it's best to just let everything out and see what people think.
I'm 27 years old and until a few months ago, I had never done anything with a guy. I met someone at a club where he works a while ago and we've been seeing each other casually every few weeks. The problem is that we live 4 hours away and we keep meeting in the middle to spend weekends together. I love spending time with him and the sex is great, I want more and more, but I'm always travelling to see him in the city where he works.
He's kind of closeted and staying with a straight friend so every time we have to rent a hotel room to sleep together/have sex. Seeing him is starting to take a toll on me financially since traveling to see him also involves paying for food, gas, etc. We always split the costs but he makes a lot more money than me. He can't really come visit me at home either since when he's not working, he's at home with his family and friends living a 'straight' life.
I also worry a lot about him seeing other people even though I don't really have any reasons to think he might. We've had discussions about it and he assures me he's not having sex with anyone else but I guess a part of me is just super insecure and even though I try not to bring up that subject anymore, I still have moments where I just go crazy and I ask him again the same questions and it pisses him off. I think this just comes from the fact that I've always told myself I would only have sex with someone I was in a serious relationship with. What we're doing is pretty casual and I'm not super comfortable with that concept.
Anyway, I feel like maybe I shouldn't see him as often even though I love spending time with him but I'm afraid it would be too hard to stop. Should I maybe try to meet other people who live in my town instead? Is there a way I can keep seeing him while letting go of all my insecurities? Hopefully this makes sense.