JustUsBoys.com gay porn forum

logo

remove these banner ads by becoming a JUB Supporter.

Results 1 to 26 of 26
  1. #1
    animalius
    Guest

    Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

    First of all, I don't think this is good or bad. It just is. Just wondering. Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's? I recently got invited to attend a private drag show. I asked my boyfriend and he said yes he'd go. Right before we left for it, he asked me if he was going to see any of my ex's. I said I didn't know. So, I called the guy who organized it and asked who was coming. Sure enough, 4 of my ex's were coming. 2 of them were already there. I told my boyfriend and he said no he didn't want to go. I asked why and he said he never ever wants to meet any of my ex's. So, we ended up going out to a movie instead. Is this normal?

  2. #2
    Shy-ster justanothershyguy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Partnered
    Posts
    3,637

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

    I think that can be normal. But if you don't introduce them as ex's, how would he know?

    For him, I'm sure it has to do with jealousy. And a fear that you might take an ex back. So if he does want you to introduce you to one, then make sure he knows there's no possibility of it (assuming there really isn't, of course...)
    Author of Lost in a Dream. If you want to make me smile, read it and tell me what you think.

  3. #3

    Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

    I could understand it.

    You seem like the type that would flirt, or allow them to, and cause drama. As I recall more then some of your threads here concern your ex's. I could see him not wanting to spend the evening/next few days in an argument over you and your ex's petty bar drama.

    In general, I think it depends on the situation, maturity, and drama levels involved. I'm friends with a couple of my ex's, and I've met one of my BF's Ex's - it wasn't a big deal.
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

  4. #4
    loki81
    Guest

    Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

    4 ex's in one bar? I could understand your boyfriend feeling jealous/worried.

    I can understand where he's coming from... I always feel a little weird meeting a partner's exes; it makes me feel especially jealous and territorial.

  5. #5
    Porn Star
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    379

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

    It depends on how long you have been in a relationship with your current boyfriend,. Sometimes, during a relationship's early stages, there are issues with trust and faithfulness. Some people can be extremely insecure in this period and, in some cases, it takes them a long time to truly trust the person they are with - I think that talking about the situation and reassuring your current boyfriend about the genuineness of your feelings, as well as your level of commitment to the relationship you have with him, will indubitably help him to eventually overcome his jealousy.

    With that said, if he has such severe issues with trust, maybe there are some underlying problems that need to be addressed between the two of you...

  6. #6
    Sex God TheLyingGame's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Kent, England
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    506

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

    Quote Originally Posted by loki81 View Post
    I can understand where he's coming from... I always feel a little weird meeting a partner's exes; it makes me feel especially jealous and territorial.
    Omg. This. I instantly hate them. Don't matter how nice they are...
    Ever wonder what’s going on when your back is turned? –A

  7. #7
    loki81
    Guest

    Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheLyingGame View Post
    Omg. This. I instantly hate them. Don't matter how nice they are...


    it depends on the guy, though... the guy I'm dating right now has an ex who he dated for like 5 years. they've been broken up for almost that long too and they're still in each other's circle of friends, but it's going to take awhile for me to stop feeling jealous of their history.

    otoh, one of my ex's dated a guy for like a month, they realized they weren't compatible as partners, but they stayed friends. I never felt weird about their relationship at all.

  8. #8
    Miss Bad Boy
    Guest

    Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

    I used to live in fear of seeing my now ex's ex somewhere in public, but after we broke up, I became friends with his ex for awhile and it felt silly that I had even been scared of him. But of course, since we were both not attached to that guy anymore, it was a different dynamic and I didn't need to feel territorial anymore.

  9. #9
    BENDERBOY
    Guest

    Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

    Well he's a lot smarter than i originally thought.

  10. #10
    美しいヨーロッパ Scealle's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    2,891
    Blog Entries
    1

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

    I think it's pretty normal. For me it depends. But for most guys that I know even though they are str8, they still wouldn't want to bump into their ex's. Usually it gets really awkward.

  11. #11
    animalius
    Guest

    Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

    Well, my ex wants to go out with me sometime this week. Obviously, my bf won't come along LOL.

  12. #12
    BENDERBOY
    Guest

    Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

    Quote Originally Posted by animalius View Post
    Well, my ex wants to go out with me sometime this week. Obviously, my bf won't come along LOL.
    Now we see why you have so many ex - boyfriends

    tbaft

  13. #13
    loki81
    Guest

    Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

    Quote Originally Posted by BENDERBOY View Post
    Now we see why you have so many ex - boyfriends

    tbaft


    that happened with me and a guy I was dating... it seemed like every anecdote or story he ever told involved some ex or another. eventually, I started to realize why he had so many ex's.

  14. #14
    Thankfully Liberal & Gay
    frankfrank's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Illinois (Agent Provocateur and Refujiunderground you can do it)
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    15,419
    Blog Entries
    5

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

    I would generally assume that my partner's Ex was a very cool and fun person, unless I'm already told otherwise - because the person I will be with would indeed be a good/fun/cool person. I would assume that my partner wouldn't have chosen a horrible scumbag of a person who would eventually become his Ex (perhaps because of these traits).

    I could not possibly be jealous, under normal circumstances, because that Ex changed my partner's lifeline and time line, and had some influence in my partner's evolution into a person who I would currently love. I am NOT counting a situation where he is still carrying on something like a relationship with the Ex, though, which likely would make me feel otherwise. As long as my partner is devoted to me - or perhaps it's a "one-rung-down-the-ladder" relationship which is an open one and also more of an open relationship - it would be cool.

    If not for a partner's Ex, it is rather possible that we would have never met, and/or without the effects of the Ex on his way of life it would be possible we wouldn't have gotten along.

    Of course, since I don't have a partner, some of these thoughts are only what I assume to be true, and how I'd react.
    "All legal U. S. residents who are 18 years or older, shall have an unconditional right to vote." - We need a 28th Amendment to the U. S. Constitution which resembles this...NOW!

    VOTING: Just remember: "Be careful of what you DON'T wish for. You might just get it." GET OUT AND VOTE for what you DO wish for.

    "I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do, because I notice it always coincides with their own desires" - Susan B. Anthony

  15. #15
    The nice guy from Nice. dpnice's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    7,551
    Blog Entries
    295

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

    If you are in a relationship, no matter how recent, you really should be secure enough in each other to cope with seeing one of his exs. If you are not then it would seem to me that you already have problems.

    Mind you 4 of them in one night is a little excessive for anyone to have to cope with at the beginning of a relationship? I think the movie outing was a sensible compromise on your part. At least it showed that you were capable of taking his feelings into account.
    http://justusboys.com/forum/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=72786&dateline=115443  2352

  16. #16

    Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

    I'm not sure if I'm rooting for your bf's feelings on this topic to be ruled, by the masses here, as "normal" or abnormal. Obviously you don't think his feelings are "normal", otherwise you wouldn't have posed the question, and he likely feels justified in his stance. I'll tell ya, if I ever found out my bf was asking a bunch of strangers whether or not my feelings were "normal"...I'd be pissed.

    Please keep us posted on the get together with your ex this week, without the bf...and how well that went over with him.
    Bad decisions make good stories.

  17. #17
    JUB Addict racer2438's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    central coast sm
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Married
    Posts
    4,559

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

    He more insecure than anything else, he is with you not the ex's....he might need to put on his big boy pants..
    You cant change the way the wind blow's, but you can change the angle of your sail to take you somewhere else!!

  18. #18
    animalius
    Guest

    Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

    Quote Originally Posted by jaysizzles View Post
    I'm not sure if I'm rooting for your bf's feelings on this topic to be ruled, by the masses here, as "normal" or abnormal. Obviously you don't think his feelings are "normal", otherwise you wouldn't have posed the question, and he likely feels justified in his stance. I'll tell ya, if I ever found out my bf was asking a bunch of strangers whether or not my feelings were "normal"...I'd be pissed.

    Please keep us posted on the get together with your ex this week, without the bf...and how well that went over with him.
    Haha, I don't think you guys count as a bunch of strangers. I've always seen you guys as more like internet bots.

    I have a lot of ex's floating around because once upon a time I dated a lot of people in very short term relationships. A lot of them were more like my fuck buddies than boyfriends.

  19. #19
    TheSpectatingLoner
    Guest

    Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

    Honestly, I don't think any guy should ever look forward to meeting his boyfriend's exes.

    But to go out of his way to ask and shy away in fear... he seems like kind of a wimp to me. He needs to man up something serious.

  20. #20
    Slippery When Wet
    swerve's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Atlanta
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Partnered
    Posts
    11,717
    Blog Entries
    1

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

    I would WANT to go and meet ALL of my BF's Ex's!!!

    I've never worried about whether or not I was normal, however...

    "Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it..." Goethe

  21. #21

    Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post
    Honestly, I don't think any guy should ever look forward to meeting his boyfriend's exes.

    But to go out of his way to ask and shy away in fear... he seems like kind of a wimp to me. He needs to man up something serious.
    If I remember correctly, in a thread concerning open relationships, the author of this thread told us that he keeps asking his current partner for permission to have sex with other guys.

  22. #22
    animalius
    Guest

    Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kahaih View Post
    If I remember correctly, in a thread concerning open relationships, the author of this thread told us that he keeps asking his current partner for permission to have sex with other guys.
    Yup, and he kept saying no. In fact, I jokingly asked again last night and he gave me a big no LOL.

  23. #23
    Is the King of JUB Beachguyj's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Near Fort Bottomdale
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    7,135

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

    It's not a very mature thing to do. If you are on friendly or civil terms with your exes it seems weird that your bf would be so freaked out about meeting them.
    Never cease to find it strange
    How at midnight things seem hopeless
    But by dawn they've changed

  24. #24
    The gay gargoyle
    G-Lexington's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Denver CO
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    44,929
    Blog Entries
    21

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

    Quote Originally Posted by animalius View Post
    Well, my ex wants to go out with me sometime this week. Obviously, my bf won't come along LOL.
    Of course not LOL!

    Lex

  25. #25
    JUB Addict The Fly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    MPLS
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    1,461

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

    I have never been jealous/hesitant to meet, or spend time around an ex's ex. They're an ex for a reason. Maybe the initial attraction faded, they had personality conflicts, whatever, it's the past. It doesn't mean they're bad people.
    If your boyfriend doesn't want to be around your ex's there's one or more reasons;
    He doesn't trust them
    He doesn't trust you
    He trusts you not to cheat, but doesn't like the way you have/will interact with/around your ex's.
    You've asked him on numerous occasions if he would mind you messing around with some other guy....how should he feel walking into a room with multiple men he knows you've slept with?
    He's not being unreasonable.

  26. #26
    Shy-ster justanothershyguy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Partnered
    Posts
    3,637

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

    ^ I don't think it's the compatibility that people get jealous of. I think it's closer to the fact that they likely had sex with them. It's an overreaction in my book, but still. You see them as what they were, not what they are.
    Author of Lost in a Dream. If you want to make me smile, read it and tell me what you think.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | About JustUsBoys.com | Site Map | RSS | Webmasters | Advertise | Link to JUB | Report A Bug on this Page

Visit our sister sites: Broke Straight Boys | CollegeDudes.com | CollegeBoyPhysicals.com | RocketTube
All models appearing on JustUsBoys.com were over 18 at the time of photography. The records for sexually explicit images required by U.S. 2257 are kept by the
individual producers of the images. The location of the records is available by clicking the Custodian of Records link at the bottom of each gallery page.
© 2012 JustUsBoys.com. The JustUsBoys.com name and logo are registered trademarks. Labeled with ICRA and RTA. Member of ASACP and The Free Speech Coalition.