For other, please post what you think it is.
Lose of interest (aka spark is gone)
Other obligations (college, job, etc)
For other, please post what you think it is.
A cause of gay couple breakups: One partner that tries to change the other.
These people should be having a two-year engagement before they get married.
Five years, perhaps.
1) An addiction to images (images as in what appears to be versus what *is*)
2) Failing to develop a good relationship with yourself and blaming it on the other person.
3) Insisting on being a victim and embracing a victim menatlity.
The same cause for any other couples to breakup?
A lot of guys jump into relationships thinking with their cocks and their hormones, putting the other guy on a pedestal without REALLY knowing him very well, and thinking a relationship is easy.
Once the sex gets routine, they actually have to spend time together and realize they have nothing in common outside the bedroom, and relationships are a LOT of work and compromises they bail out without even really trying and move on to the next fantasy scenario.
I also think guys don't really know what they want. They think they do, but then get distracted by all the other choices that are out there and start second guessing themselves. You're with Bob, think you're happy... but whoa! Mark is hot... wonder what he'd be like??? Wait... is Bob really the one?
Guys jump into commitments with no real intention of longevity or real commitment. Mr. Right is often Mr.You'lldofornow.
I think a lot of guys jump into relationships because they are frightened to be by themselves
One of them wants a sex change from male to female.
I think variety is the spice the of life. just like in straight marriages, I think having sex with the same person forever would suck and be a drag, regardless if I was in love with then completely. I need new sights, smells, sensations, body types, etc, just being honest. So to answer the OP question I think cheating and/or loss of interest is the #1 cause.
Based strictly on my own experiences, I would have to say that it is a combination of loss of interest (some gay men can be so fickle) and infidelity (cheating).
The Three Musketeers... Bashful, Chrisglass, and Ronboy!
idk which one first
[edited to reduce bitchiness]
I dislike the question because it makes it seem as though breakups among homosexuals are longer about the individuality of a relationship or the two specific people involved, but about their sexuality. "Gay breakup" sounds like you're implying that there must be a gay reason for a gay breakup.
Breakups, across all sexualities, happen for a multitude of reasons involving the individuals breaking up.
Last edited by TheSpectatingLoner; May 6th, 2013 at 06:22 PM.
Fighting over the remote.
"You may only be one person to the world, but you may also be the world to one person"
- anonymous quote.
He had a really small dick....
I realized how difficult it was to answer this without just jumping to the reason why my relationships in the past broke up. I would say that borg got it right. I think a lot of guys aren't willing to put in the work needed in order for a relationship to work.
I'm acquaintances in a circle where 8 of the people are former (4) couples and still friends. I never asked why they broke up, I guess it just didn't work out, but it couldn't have been that bad because they are still friends.
Never cease to find it strange
How at midnight things seem hopeless
But by dawn they've changed
the main issue i have come across in my area is cheating. my ex accused me of cheating, and i was pretty sure he was already cheating on me long before we broke up.
I believe gay couples have just as hard of a time understanding each other as straight couples do. I also believe gay men tend to be more insecure, yet [interestingly] more narcissistic.
There is a need to be in a relationship 'just because.' This illusion "I'm not lonely and ugly" can only work but for so long. As someone else pointed out, once the two realize there is nothing there the relationship turns sour. Cheating and excuses (distance, work, etc) follow and the relationship ends. Then the cycle repeats a week later.
I remember reading this study that claimed gay couples are better at resolving conflicts through teamwork, which surprised me!
I doubt any real study could be done on this, because I find that at the time of breakups, most folks aren't exactly honest with themselves over the reason--they just know the reason they're stating at the time of the event. Sort of like when someone gets fired--is it always really the reason on the final write-up?
I hate topics like these.
We're gay, not robots. We still retain the many human qualities that heterosexuals possess. The bullshit reasons given in a poll apply to straight relationships too.
This would make sense sense if you rephrased it to "what to you think is the main cause of YOUR breakups"
Actually, there is at least one 'gay specific' cause for breakups - sort of.
It has to do with being too similar and not knowing what to do about it.
Not to be the least bit confused with that 'opposites attract' stuff, though.
Can you explain why Im so feeling it in this..?
TBH..I cant speak to anybody else- some people loved enough and fell to rltship easily while they 'abuse' their privilege, Im not that kind of guy, I dont have that luxury. ^^ Im more like those who are so awkward/shy to initiate approach, an ltr type but I think my foremost reason can't attached with a person is because I never been and dont know how to start?
I've --( add dramatic exhales here) ...spent much of my energy during my high school years- chasing a guy I never can have.
The unrequited love scars me deeply..it's like...if you're gay- your love life will be doomed, there's always voice inside my head telling me that, how's in y'all? Idk.
It's really hard for me to set up my own standard and how to build relationship after him and hs years, if i dont hv him then I dont want anybody else...that cliche words but true to me.
What do you think replace empty love if not lust?- that's why I and most of guys here are lusty- maybe we compensate something? Lust- I love lust but too much of it, 'will make your focus murky and because my background is an 'awkward' lover- then lust making me more awkward to 'relate'..am I right? I just wanna ..get it done..fuck him, fuck fuck fuck
so it's not good but when I ask myself again, do I really need a bf? Im not sure I really want to have it lol ^^
I bet those heavy couple in JUB smh..thinking wow, these guys are so damaged. Maybe we're too damaged until we dont feel the pain, WE DONT KNOW WHATS WRONG WITH US!? ^^
However at this point I know lust is cheap and it won't last forever. Lust is pleasurable and mildly irritating...
so irritating! I just walked on trails today passing a hot guy- who's totally my type- a latino gym sluts with slutty cut out muscle tank, cap and high socks ..Im so rape him, but...^^ Jk
I notice-I dont have any initiative to approach him to get to know him or to build myself upon him. I think that's what pure lust is..
Im not hopeless romantic type- quite heartless I think. Right now I keep myself busy- the distraction is enough to forgetting me to settling down. I got affection frm my dog- my friends- family ..like hey, human need 80% of his day to talk with someone- whether you're extrovert/introvert.
One thing that's still baffles me though-- the longing to care and to love someone is still there and it jolts in unpredicatble situation with unpredicatbel guy..just amazing to think about. Im like WOW..Im a robot but what is this feel? So warm and tender and..
so unselfish- it's like you just want to GIVE as much as you can, you dont want to TAKE anything from him..
I guess that's love
so many times it blooms and die- because I dont keep or take an effort to maintain it
but my points to y'all..in the same situation as me
even though you've been from deserted place- you confuse/lost- but dont worry..Love is a human nature
like Pink sang: You better get up and try.. if you wonder what is it like?
So..my number one cause of gay break up is...myself.. Im no good- Yes Amy Winehouse
I used to think..when I found the right guy to safe me?.. To REPAIR me?
but since I think love is human nature- an innate ability we know without learn then I have a hope.. it's not me who always need aid/repair, we're imperfect tbh..BUT I BELIEVE we all have our own key- our mold key for the thing we call love..
I try looking at this experience as life changing and one of the grand mystery of life that I need to unlock- we all have our own reason, but please..kick lust, pride or ego to the curb ^^
Last edited by JPGhost; May 9th, 2013 at 08:41 PM.
Probably the same things as heterosexual breakups, money, people change, insecurities etc.
Bah surprised it wasn't one of the choices. But to me and my experience which caused my partner of three years to break up, it's probably influence over Family/Friends.
Unfortunately due to his family's hatred of me, he began to hate me and he started doing out of character things like verbally and physically abusing me and accusing me of doing things that I didn't do. But it's neither here nor there. He still has feelings for me all of a sudden and too bad it's not a two way street. I went out to dinner with him a couple days ago because he offered to pay and I was hungry. :P
But cheating is also a good reason. We fags can never be truthful to our man. Open relationships bother me as well but that's a whole another hockey game.
Glass Half Empty, Glass Half Fullhttp://colorfulqueers.tumblr.com/
Open relationships do fascinate me. I wonder how you can cope with being "in love" with someone and then, going about life jumping into bed with anyone who tickles your fancy. I've met a couple of guys who have accused me of being emotionally unstable and immature for not wanting open relationships, but ultimately I cannot understand how stealing moments of intimacy from your partner/boyfriend/husband to share them with other men is respectful and considerate in any way. In fact, I find it exploitative and perverse; wanting to have someone to fulfill you emotionally while having sex with anyone you feel attracted to and is willing to hook up with you is quite a twisted thing to do, in my opinion. Yes, I know that both partners have equal chances to sleep around, but I wonder how they can have boundaries around sharing and whether everyone goes out to find sex partners with equal aplomb and enthusiasm... Coercion, power and emotional blackmailing seem to be closer to the motives I can see behind open relationships than any true "sexual fulfillment", to be honest.
Many of the same reasons straight couples do. Money is one big issue. Another is that so many people I've known enjoy the honeymoon phase of sex without realizing that magic wears off.
And finally,lack of communication. People aren't mind readers. You need to talk it out at times.
Thinking with your big head instead of your little head is some good advice.
For instance, for a number of years in my life I decided not to be committed to any monogamous relationship. Instead, I would date several guys at the same time. I went by a few simple rules. No secrets. No sneaking around. No seeking out random people. Always always always ask for permission. And always always always explain to the new guy what's going on. Amazingly enough, I managed to pull it off without seeing any drama. At one time, I dated 3 guys at the same time. It was more like spending one weekend with one guy, spending the next weekend with another guy, etc. and alternate around. Was I that mister special in their eyes? Probably not. Were they all special to me? Absolutely! The difference between how I felt and how most couples feel is the emotional connection I had with them didn't last. They knew this just as much as I did. Which was why we managed to pull it off for a number of years without any drama.
The most drama I had in years was with my ex, the first real monogamous relationship I had in years.
I think the secret to happiness is be honest with yourself. While my ex and I were dating, we agreed to be monogamous. He wouldn't have it any other way, or so he insisted. Behind my back, he was sleeping around with guys he found on grindr and several other gay hookup apps. What he didn't know was that I knew he was doing this. Let me tell you, dating him was the most dramatic relationship I ever had. Most of the drama came from him.
Of course you can dismiss my words as one sided story. So, all I have to say is that was my unbiased observation. The point is just because a relationship is suppose to be monogamous doesn't mean it's all good. If people are not honest with themselves, then what's the point of monogamy?
I am currently in a very happy monogamous relationship with this wonderful guy. So lovely and warm, and angel of a guy. I've asked him any times if I could get another boyfriend, and his answer has always been no. So, I haven't as much as flirt with anyone else.
Just be honest with yourself and you'll be happy.
The same reasons in hetero marriages : infidelity, loss of interest, money, lack of things in common, toilet seat problems and aim.
I think the better question would be:
Why are there so few gay couples?
I think however, that the most significant reason for break-ups is a lack of commitment.
I have also noticed that a lot of guys don't do anything to keep the relationship alive and going. They just enjoy its benefits.
The picture you paint of an open relationship is one where one person is coerced into it by the other. You make it seem as if two guys couldn't mutually agree to an open relationship. Anyone that is mature and wants to have an open relationship ideally should not be in one because they feel they have to be. They should want to be in one. I'm sure it doesn't always happen that way, but if a guy feels that the only way he can keep his boyfriend or husband is to be in an open relationship that he doesn't want, then he should probably just end the relationship.
That harlot Lil Bit is the number three cause of gay couple breakups.
Number two reason? People disagree on shit and can't get past it, so the relationship ends. Do the details really matter? (No.) But. (No.)
And the number one cause of gay couple breakups is...straight single breakdowns?
I lost my notes.
Or maybe two people that need to define the boundaries of their own relationships while you mind your own goddamned business?
I do think there's a difference in gay relationship with hetero relationship. There's a lot of couple practicing open relationship and even they don't, they tend to cheat, I have been approached by guys that are committed to their partners but yet chasing some young cocks when their partner is overseas or away. This doesn't happen frequently in hetero relationship. And since we're pretty sexual, some relationship started out by sex, then proceed into something meaningful, this does happen to hetero but to a smaller margin. So I think inability to control ones lust is the main reason (which contributes to lost of interest as the person no longer attractive enough for him and he needs to find something exciting...in bed)
I've already explained my case. I know some guys go all out and have a three way relationship. This is something I tried to do but failed. Couldn't get 2 bottoms to be in bed with me at once.
Some guys do it where they go by a few simple rules like no double dipping and no messing with other people's spouses. Some couples would only do it with other couples where they would exchange partners.
I think it is all healthy if everyone involved consented and that everyone is honest about it. Sure beats cheating.
I know most of the gay population in this city and there are about 8 couples.
7 of them are open relationships. I've had a date with a university teacher from Scotland, and he said that is Scotland it's pretty much the same, but there are a lot of gay couples.
It is interesting to read all the generalities that people are using to support their point of view. I must honestly say that I find them slightly exaggerated.
You can't base an opinion on the knowledge that you have of the behaviour of a limited circle of friends and acquaintences that you happen to have. Obviously your personal experience is important and I think that is what we would all like to hear but to then extrapolate it to the entire gay community seems slightly excessive in my opinion.
That heterosexual and homosexual couples have similar problems in their relationships seems obvious. But to choose one major theme for breakups in all gay couples seems to me impossible. I mean have we even a data base listing the number of gay couples by country?
Lack of a marriage license (acknowledged relationship by society) to make it more difficult to just call it quits when times get tough.