Been around on the site for a while and this is the first time posting.
I guess I m just after some insights into a situation I am in and see what peoples thoughts are, its a bit long winded so I apologize in advance.
A bit of a background, I am in my mid 20's and have known I am gay since I was a teenager but I am not out and am comfortable with this for now, I am certainly getting more comfortable with the idea though.
Over the last few years I have been "sampling the local cuisine" so to speak.
I have never been in a relationship and have always been quite happy with that.
Now there is a guy who I saw prob 18 months ago and him and I had some fun together but it never really felt like just a hookup, it felt a little more intimate than that.
He was tested for STD's and wanted for me to get tested but I just had no time so I fell out of contact.
Now fast forward to a month ago and I finally got some time to get around to it. Now I was not concerned that I was not clean as I was always safe and I got the results and all was fine.
I found his email and contacted him and he invited me over that weekend. I went over there and we had fun and I ended up staying the night and leaving the next morning (never done that with anyone before) and again it really felt more intimate than just a regular hookup.
Now he has invited me over this weekend again but has asked if I wanted to see a movie and grab some food.
Here is where my mind tries to start working things out and my oblivious nature comes to the forefront.
Here is what is going on in my mind right now (its much faster and messy in there lol)
- Is he interested in a relationship?
- Is this just how he is with any hookups?
- Am I misreading things?
- Do I want to be in a relationship?
- Should I just stop thinking and go along for the ride?
Now I have said yes to going over there cause I genuinely want to spend time with him, but I am just a little confused as we mostly communicate through email and it felt like it would be "sex buddies" but I am not sure if this is what is now happening.
I guess I am open to a "sex buddies" scenario where we do things out of the bedroom but I am staring to think even a relationship may be ok (the thought has never in my life crossed my mind before) but don't want to freak him out or put him on the spot to figure out where we stand. I think just not knowing what his thoughts are make it hard to figure out how I feel about things.
So based off the above ramblings of a mad man, what do you guys think?
Where do you think he might stand on this and should I just leave things until we either naturally talk about it or should I try and get some certainty so I don't cross any lines or boundaries.
I also want to know, has anyone ever developed a relationship from a hookup before? I feel stupid that I can't even figure out what I feel.