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Thread: Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

      
   
  1. #1

    Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

    I've personally never made a pass at any of my straight friends.

    I've thought about a couple of times though.

    Have you ever made a pass at a straight friend that went disastrously?
    Evil Lyn

  2. #2
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    Re: Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

    Never, too many gay guys to be wasting my time on those.

    Welcome back larryng
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    Re: Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

    No--but it's taken a lot of self-control to not do it. Unfortunately I find them attractive---mostly it's a personality, sense of humor thing that gets me every time.

  4. #4

    Re: Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

    Yea a lot of times actually....... I haven't done it lately but man I used to back in the day, especially when I was drinking and doping it up. I destroyed a lot of friendships. I got punched in the face a few times. I lost a few teeth. I lost a couple of jobs because of it. I had my car vandalized.

    So yea...generally speaking most straight guys don't take to kindly to gay guys snaking on them. It really doesn't make much difference what you thought they were doing.

    I suppose the worst thing possible is that look on their face when they realize they have been had. I mean let's face it. If you go to the extreme of physically accosting a guy, your intentions aren't the purest and something definitely changed in the friendship, like the complete disregard for the guy's feelings.

    Yea that's it. That look of intense hurt that slowly turns to disgust. I can tell you. That sucks the life right out of you.
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    Re: Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

    unfortunately yes, after I came out to by best straight friend, I asked he has ever been curious about being with me or any other guy. He said no. But I couldn't leave it at that since we were both drinking. I kept asking him if would just try it once with me and not make a big deal out of it.. He said no again, and that if I keep asking him, its gonna change our relationship going forward.. he said he didn't want to have awkward feelings around me by me keep hitting on him... So now 3 years later, we are back to where we were before I came out, and I have never mentioned anything sexual regarding him again and we are perfectly great friends.
    I would suggest not making a pass at a friend that you could possibly lose as a great friend. its best to hold your tongue in these situations.

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    Re: Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

    Twice. Once in high school; once in college (with a fraternity brother). Neither was a success - except to foster painful memories.

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    Re: Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

    Quote Originally Posted by larryng View Post
    Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?
    Yepp, more than once and unfortunately one friend was unwilling and it ruined our relationship beyond repair.

  8. #8

    Re: Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

    i haven't done it in person, but after i came out, i spoke to many of my straight friends (close ones and not at all homophobic) and pretty much all of them declined (except one who experimented then stopped) a few of them didn't talk to me for a while but most of them said they understood the feeling of lust and that everyone gets it, they then shrugged it off as horny banter and that was that, i would advise caution when choosing who to make a 'pass' at, not everyone is as forgiving, and you don't want to ruin a friendship that way, makes you feel disgusting after a while.

  9. #9

    Re: Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

    My best friend in the world is Paul. He is straight and exactly my type. I love to watch straight bait porn.

    Paul had been my friend for over six years without any real "incidents". He knows I'm gay and I find him very attractive.

    There was one time a couple years back when Paul came over to my house and I so so wanted to "grab" him. It took everything I got

    not to make a move for his balls. As quickly as possible , I ended our conversation in my house and told him to leave.

    I called Paul the next day and told him all about what happened. I told him to never come to my house ever again.

    Now, whenever me and Paul meet we just meet in public and we haven't had any kind of incidences in years.
    Last edited by larryng; May 1st, 2013 at 08:39 AM.
    Evil Lyn

  10. #10

    Re: Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

    Ever since the almost grabbing incidence with my friend Paul, we both moved on with our friendship like nothing ever happened. (because nothing did. Thankfully). We have never spoken about it again.

    Today, many years after the fact, I finally asked him what would've happened to our friendship had I actually did grab him.

    He said had I had grabbed him, he would've left AND THAT WOULD BE THE END OF OUR FRIENDSHIP.
    Evil Lyn

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    Re: Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

    When i was younger i told a friend of mine at the time how i felt about him. That ended the friendship.

  12. #12

    Re: Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

    The problem in this instance is that gay men look at male to male interaction somewhat myopically. Being gay we look at every single thing that a guy does as having some sort of innuendo or clandestine donnee. When it is a guy we find attractive, all judgement is profoundly obstructed. We read gayness into every little thing he does.

    This is all reinforce by the stupidity found in many gay porn sites that perpetuate the idea that all straight men are attainable sexually. All you need to do is offer enough money or manipulate the situation in such a fashion that somehow miraculously they find you attractive even though they are not homosexual.

    I'm not blaming gay pornographers. They are being good capitalists and selling what people want to buy. They are making a buck. The only thing I take exception to is the fact they promote the idea that a straight guy is a much better partner for a gay man than a gay man. That is utter nonsense.

    Are there straight guys doing gay porn? I'm sure there are. I don't think it is a very high percentage however. Are there gay guys doing gay porn saying they are straight guys doing gay porn? Sure. They may be delusional or just plain lying. They may be told by the site management to say that in order to promote a certain storyline concept.

    If you want to believe that straight guys find gay guys attractive due to the nonsense on some porn site, then so be it. Just suffer the consequences like everyone else that has bought into that falderal.

    I pursued straight guys for years as a way to make myself feel better about being gay. My reasoning was that if I could get into Mr. X's pants then he was as gay or as straight as me. I'm not quite sure which one I was trying to be. I lied to myself and everybody else for such a long time, I didn't know which end was up.

    I ruined a lot of friendships. Two come to mind that are particularly painful. I was such a selfish miscreant.
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    Re: Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

    We all learn from these things, don't we.

  14. #14
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    Back in High school when I first came out absolutely, but I always did it in a "joking" manner and never anything too courageous like grabbing their junk. I smacked a couple asses and whooped; they would laugh and shrug it off. One time it did lead where I wanted but that's another story.

    EDIT
    And now I feel like a bag of dicks cause my response is technically off topic since I never experienced anything disastrous as a result
    Last edited by jockstrappedboy; May 1st, 2013 at 02:40 PM.

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    Re: Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

    Not technically a pass or really disastrous, but I once pushed things a little while skinny dipping with a gorgeous friend that I had a big crush on (I was angling for the Full Monty view) and he had a mild freakout about it the next day. Got over it quickly and the friendship went back to normal.

  16. #16

    Re: Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

    No, he made the pass at me. Straight (so I thought), married, two kids, extremely masculine and manly. Never in a million years would I have expected it. We had just finished doing some construction work on his house and he headed to the bathroom to get cleaned up. After the shower he came out of the bathroom buck naked and proceeded to walk around the house bare ass with his huge member flopping around. I said what the hell, took a shower and followed his lead and came out naked as well. One thing lead to another and he ended up asking me if he could sock my cock......of course I said "hell ya". Since then we have had numerous hot encounters. None of which were DISASTROUS. There were a few awkward and jealous moments afterwards, both I wouldn't classify as disastrous.

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    Re: Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

    I have walked away from a couple of friendships when they continue to harass me for sex after I have told them no.

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    Re: Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

    Not all relationships need to be about sex. Learned that the hard way

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    Re: Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

    My best friend, a straight guy, who knows I am gay, came to visit me over the weekend during my first year at college. We were hanging around with a miscellaneous group of my college mates, and I grew tired as morning approach and told him I was going back to my dorm room. We both sauntered across campus chatting about old times and current, who was getting some, how regularly, etc. My dorm mate was out for the weekend, and my friend returns from the bathroom, definitely sporting wood. We had each jerked off in darkness as adolescents, though never jerking each other. He finally asks, "Why didn't you ever make a pass at me?" I said "Because you're straight and I didn't want to lose you as a friend." He asks, "Did you ever want to?" I can only answer honestly, "Well of course I did you dummy. You handsome as hell, and you're an amazing guy. You'd be great boyfriend material if you were on my team." He insists he's not gay, and really he's not. He knew we had a level of respect and intimacy uniquely between us. He said "Do you wanna try sucking me?" I thought "Damn, is he testing me? Of fuck who cares if he's just horny, we're just 19 year old boys who want to enjoy ourselves and our bodies." I knew he was big, but in all those years of jerking off beside him I never realized how big. Wow! And as most can attest virility is way up at 19. He had had at least 3-4 girls by that time and I relished in the compliment that I definitely knew what I was doing and gave the best head he'd ever had. I would have been glad to do it again and again, though likely would have grown tired not getting to fuck that sweet little bubble ass of his, or at least watching those lips of his wrap around my own respectable meat. Though we've not been especially close in the 20 years since, we do still keep in touch and recall the goodness of our shared years as best friends.

    All that to say, it has to be a very unique thing for it to work out relatively amicably. I highly recommend finding someone that need no convincing, another man who will return that same desire you have for another man. It is amazingly freaking wonderful. I celebrate my partner everyday!

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    Re: Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

    High school. Made passes at two close straight friends. One freaked out and we never talked again. The other took it very well but made it clear he was straight. The one who took it well, we've stayed friends (long distance) to this day.

  21. #21

    Re: Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

    Unfortunately, my story belongs in the predominant theme of this post. Although, it seems a few guys got lucky the majority didn't. I lost a couple of really good friendships as a result of being too honest. It changed the dynamic and things were never the same. One even refused to speak to me again and until this day it remains the case. As time has past, I no longer regret being so open. I have been able to work through it. However, it did take a long time and I suffered as a result. These days if I start a new friendship and I feel myself going beyond that, I start to back off. If I am certain he is straight then I will keep things at a distance and break off contact. I would rather remain silent and nipped things in the bud than go through that intensity of emotion again. I am not as resilient as I was.

  22. #22
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    Re: Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

    I don't go there with friends, so no. Not that it hasn't presented itself one way or another. But I know these people too well, and they'd have problems dealing with it, so why ruin the friendship?

  23. #23

    Re: Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

    The problems really start when you go beyond the simple friendship and finding them attractive. It's when things begin to snowball and you find yourself falling in love with them and wanting things to get sexual. It really isn't fair on you or them. It is not what they are looking for or expecting. You can't blame them for freaking out and running away, if you make a pass at them. I think as someone else said you start to misread the situation and see things that aren't there. Ever gesture or throw away remark is seen as a possibility they may feel the same way. Before long you find yourself in the position of unrequited love. There is nothing more painful or soul destroying as that. The desperate desire for someone else that will never find a happy resolution. In those circumstances the best thing to do is break away and stop all contact. It is a very difficult thing to do and involves a great deal of pain that lingers for a long time afterwards. It is hard to except that no matter what you do or how hard you try it is never going to happen.
    Divorcing yourself from simple sexual attraction and love can be a difficult thing to do. Although sex between 2 consenting people for the sheer joy of it, based on attraction, is fine; this isn't going to happen with a straight guy. There is no love or no sexual attraction and I don't buy into this curiosity argument. I maybe naive, but I believe it has to be based on either love, attraction or both. A straight guy will not feel these towards you and you are opening yourself to a whole heap of personal grief. He maybe fine about it and accepting of the situation. However, the problem is can you handle it?

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    Re: Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

    Well said. I found myself in this situation. I read way beyond what was really there. My friend knew how I felt about him and basically used it to his advantage. Getting me to do things for him that no other "friend" would do which raised my hope thinking he was interested and just scared.
    Thing is we did get sexual very one sided. No kissing cuddling or anything romantic. Then the next day he would say i took advantage of him and not speak to me for weeks. Then come back and say i was his best friend. Next thing i know he is fucking some girl and my heart was broken and i was at the lowest point in my life. Crying, depressed, shut myself off from everyone around me. Then a couple weeks later he'd come back when they broke it off and like an idiot let him back into my heart. This cycle continued over and over. Its destructive to yourself and not worth the pain.
    We are still friends but nothing sexual at all.

  25. #25

    Re: Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

    Quote Originally Posted by larryng View Post
    Ever since the almost grabbing incidence with my friend Paul, we both moved on with our friendship like nothing ever happened. (because nothing did. Thankfully). We have never spoken about it again.

    Today, many years after the fact, I finally asked him what would've happened to our friendship had I actually did grab him.

    He said had I had grabbed him, he would've left AND THAT WOULD BE THE END OF OUR FRIENDSHIP.
    LOL this was so funny you wwanted to get those boxers hmmm

  26. #26

    Re: Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

    Yes, only one straight friend though, and it was when I was about 17. I was madly in love with one of my closest friends. It didn't start out that way, although I found him quite attractive. We were initially just friends, but as I got to know him more I developed a massive crush on him but kept silent about it even though he knew I was bisexual. I always hated and feared when people I wasn't attracted to made a move or hit on me, and I didn't want to ruin our friendship, so I stayed quiet about it for a very long time. It was so painful at the time, but now just sort of amuses me.

    One night, after about a year or more of us being friends, we were sitting in my living room and slightly drunk and he was sitting quite close to me on the sofa. He made some sort of joke about something (nothing sexual related, just some joke in general) and I sort of slapped his thigh. Only, after I did that, I let my hand rest on his leg. He sort of looked a bit awkward and politely and gently pushed my hand off of his leg. Then it was like a dam burst or something and I just blurted out, "I like you so much. I would really like to kiss you, I'm sorry." He just kind of sat there for a minute and then said, "You're just drunk." I then blathered on about how I really felt and that I thought I loved him. It just got so awkward after that. He wasn't a dick about it or anything, but I could tell it just made him uncomfortable in a way that I was familiar with when people I wasn't attracted to hit on or flirted with me. After a few minutes of him forcing some small-talk, he exclaimed suddenly, "Oh, shit! I told my brother I'd be home like half an hour ago! I'll talk to you tomorrow!" I felt like such a moron.

    I didn't hear from him for about a week, but, eventually, he came around. But, we never spoke about it for the longest time - I think until he was sure I didn't like him anymore. After that it was fine and he would make jokes about it. We've both grown up since then, now we just both find it a funny story. Still a very close friend and still hang out with him a lot and there's absolutely no awkwardness or tension about it anymore.

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    Re: Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

    I was never confident enough to "come out" to my friends or family, so I kept my secret love of cock well hidden. I even got married, thinking it was "the right thing to do." So I never made an open pass at a straight guy. The closest I came to that was, after being married just nine months, I was so hungry for cock that I could hardly stand it! I finally got desperate and decided to try seducing my cousin, who was staying at our home for a few weeks. He was several years younger than I and pretty hot looking. As young teens, we had discovered a girlie magazine hidden in a tool chest in our garage and had masturbated together. Now, although I was scared shitless to approach my cousin again, I thought porn magazines might just open the door! Long story short, when my wife was out for the day, I asked my cousin if he'd like to look at porn again, like when we were kids. He said, "Sure!" So into the bedroom we went. I already had my porn magazine collection out and, before we knew it, we were both naked and jerking off. Seeing his hard, lovely cock, I could hardly contain myself so, working io my courage, I asked if I could stroke it for him! To my surprise and delight he matter-of-factly told me to go ahead! It felt great for both of us and he told me so! Then, with my heart in my throat, I asked if I could suck his cock! He said he'd thougt I'd never ask and lay back on the bed, spread his legs wide and offered his beautiful cock to me! To say I lovingly sucked him off would be an understatement and I soon sucked him to a bone-jarring climax! After I swallowed his load and milked out his last delicious drops of cum, he said he would never have guessed that I loved cock like that. He than laughed as he told me he had been topping for numerous boyfriends for years. We just both wished that I'd come out to him sooner! We kept that relationship up for several years! So, sometimes it works! wished
    Last edited by gloriholeluvr; June 21st, 2013 at 08:12 PM.

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    Re: Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

    Once a few years ago, while I was living in Gainesville Florida, a friend and I were smoking some cannabis together (which is now legal to do so here in the forward progressive state of Washington) and I asked him if I could suck his cock.

    He freaked out and told all of our mutual friends that I was gay and that I had made a pass at him which didn't bother so much as did his reaction to my request to suck his cock. I think he way over reacted. Besides I really thought he was cute and would love to have had an opportunity to taste of his beauty.

  29. #29

    Re: Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

    Never, but I once almost did to a relative at camp. I was so horny and as he was sleeping, I grabbed his ass and held onto it. The next day, I felt so bad and exposed but when he came to me and asked I just said I was dreaming of my celeb crush.

  30. #30
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    Re: Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

    Been there, done that a couple of times.
    Once when I was around 20 - college buddy - community college - hung out in the Pub on campus playing cards.
    I gave him a ride, would stay at his place sometimes. We'd party on weekends - he had a GF and through work a fuck buddy (girl).
    Occasionally when I stayed over at his place - bunk beds, the conversation would degenerate and I'd say Fuck you and he'd say he was man enough if I was queer enough (70s). We talked about sex and exploits - he'd had more than I had.
    One night he said something about wanting a 3-way with me and my GF - what he really wanted was another girl notched on his belt, and I knew it.

    His birthday came - I took him over to his fuck buddy's for the afternoon - stayed for a drink, then left.
    By the time he got home that night, he'd been well fucked and got wasted so he wouldn't have to perform for his GF.
    We finally took our womenfolk to their respective homes, and I told him he was too drunk to go home to his parents, stay at my house - didn't know my brother was home - so my friend bunked with me in my double bed.

    I am a natural snuggler. Add on I hadn't had any in over a month - GF was playing hard to get - I eventually got into more with him while he was semi-passed out. Almost went all the way - damn close. That pretty much quelched that friendship.

    A lifetime later (20 years) I leaned very heavily on a friend - a lot of e-mails - got way too deep in the conversation.
    I never made a move on him, but in a bout of depression one night I sent him a note discussing some of the shit running through my head - that was that.


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

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