First off, I'm an Asian guy who's living in an Asian country (not my native country). I speak a decent amount of English and I have a good knowledge of Western culture. In fact, I consider myself more of western style than asian style. Or so I've heard from other people.
I've been through several relationships. However, all of them are with people from the same country. Well, back then I didn't have smartphone and my local language skills weren't so great so dating foreigners was close to impossible for me. So basically, I'm quite clueless about dating culture in the West, except what I learned from TV and movies (admittedly I've watched A LOT of American TV shows and movies - but my boyfriend isn't American).
So comes OKCupid. I created an account out of boredom (after having so many failures dating with the local over JackD). Then my current boyfriend happens to be the highest match with me in my area - there aren't many people on OKCupid here though. We messaged back and forth, but more in the style of email than chatting. I never planned on dating Westerners - not that I was being racist but I was afraid that the cultural gap was too huge to overcome. But of course friendships are welcome, especially with people whom I can enjoy talking to that much.
Anyway, after the first two dates, I still thought that we were just friends. We of course talked a lot and laughed a lot, and I had a lot of feelings for him. But being a shy guy I held myself back thinking I wasn't really attractive to him and I didn't want to actively push the relationship any further. On the third date, he invited me to his place and we had sex for the first time. I stayed late till midnight and he hinted that I should leave for my last train. I took it as a cue that he considered the relationship to be not a serious one. It turned out that I was wrong - I had to leave simply because he isn't allowed to have guests overnight at his place. But being a stupid guy I couldn't bring myself to ask the question. I only learned about it after a week.
So after the third date, I thought he just wanted to have fun and that was it. But he contacted me again and asked me to come to a social event with him, and he introduced me to a good number of friends. The day later I suggested that he visit my place as it is more convenient. He was eager to come and stayed the night. We had a lot of fun together the days later, but we never really talk about the nature of the relationship between us. Then one night, he casually mentioned that he forgot to change his OKCupid status to "seeing someone" as he keeps getting messages from people. I was surprised, and to be honest, happy to hear that our relationship was more than just for fun. Then yesterday, I was just casually looking around OKCupid (I was bored and was just checking the questions), he seemed not to be very happy about that. I think he wasn't particularly jealous, but he talked as if I should totally stop checking the website (I don't mind not checking it though!). The most puzzling thing for me is that I don't really understand the nature of our relationship, and I feel that I have misread him quite a lot.
And the biggest issue for me is that he will only be staying in the country for several months more. After that, he'll go back to his home country, and probably pursue a degree there. To be honest, I haven't feel like this for a while and I really enjoy the things between us. On one hand, I feel that I don't have the ability to grasp the nature of the relationship (how I keep reading the signs wrong etc); on the other hand, his departure will tear me apart if I go any deeper than a casual/open relationship. I'm not sure I can handle long distance relationship either, considering that my citizenship doesn't allow me to travel freely to his country.
So I need some advice. How should I approach a relationship like this? What is the sign I should look for? I was chatting with him one day and I jokingly used a heart symbol, and I think he was a bit freaked out by it. Of course I played it down, and I didn't mean that I loved him either. But for us Asians, sometimes we do flirt a bit at the beginning of the relationship just to get the idea if we can go any further. Also, sometimes he acts quite aloof from me, but sometimes he's passionate and eager to have me by his side - I guess it's the culture thing here but I can't read him any further. Any advice to keep my head cool?
Another thing is that how do I know what he wants after his departure? I know that I should ask him, but considering we've just dated for less than two weeks, I don't think it's the best idea. Without the knowledge, I can't really let myself fall too deep. I'm worried that I may miss out the chance of having something more with him.
Sorry for the long post and any grammatical mistakes. It's midnight here and my head isn't at its best. Any suggestion is very much appreciated.