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  1. #1
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    What do you say to this?

    If your boyfriend tells you two of his friends said he could find a better looking guy.

  2. #2
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    Re: What do you say to this?

    I don't have a lot of relationship experience so maybe I shouldn't comment, but I will anyway. I would wonder why to he told me that. I would also say that looks aren't everything and personality counts even more. I would also say that what one person finds beautiful another may not. I would also consider the source and not take it too personally or seriously. Hope you get some other comments on this because this came off of the top of my head and may not be right on.

  3. #3
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    Re: What do you say to this?

    How did he respond to them and why did he tell you what they said, knowing it would hurt you?
    Everyone wants to be heard. No one wants to listen.

  4. #4
    JUB Addict HunterM's Avatar
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    Re: What do you say to this?

    Tell him, "Oh, I could also find a better looking guy."

  5. #5
    I'm now a grandfather! JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
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    Re: What do you say to this?

    ^Exactly.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

  6. #6

    Re: What do you say to this?

    I think it's deplorable they would say such a thing, and even more he would repeat it. It's unfortunate that much of the gay community can be so shallow and callous and superficial. I'm going to go out on a limb though, and assume his friends are themselves single, and more than likely jealous of the relationship. Perhaps he's not spending as much time with them as he used to now that he's with you.

    Often times those sad single guys run in packs... misery loves company. They don't want to be the last one standing... alone.

    There's much more to a guy than perfect genetics... if anything, his friends have proven that.
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  7. #7
    Come again? dereperez's Avatar
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    Re: What do you say to this?

    I would hope he was joking....though he still shouldn't have brought it up. Have a talk with him and make sure he understands that you don't appreciate such a comment.

  8. #8

    Re: What do you say to this?

    I think your boyfriend feels neglected by you. He repeated his friends' comment in order to get your attention. Have you taken him for granted? It was a crummy thing to say to you. And, trust me, it was said for a reason!

  9. #9
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    Re: What do you say to this?

    It started off with me asking about his ex and he said he was ugly. I forgot exactly what he said after I said can I see a pic of him. It wasn't meant to hurt my feelings but he wasn't going to tell me who they were. But I convinced him. One of them is a straight white guy who failed at his last relationship and stalked his girlfriend for a couple of months. He has a lot of nerve saying this considering he's short and has a big nose. The other guy is from back home and he himself is not very attractive and hasn't been in a relationship that was great either. My bf responded to the first guy by saying I guess but what matters is what's happening now or something like that. Any way if that were me I wouldn't talk to them until they apologized because they seriously insulted my bf

  10. #10
    Come again? dereperez's Avatar
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    Re: What do you say to this?

    Quote Originally Posted by NYClover54 View Post
    It started off with me asking about his ex and he said he was ugly. I forgot exactly what he said after I said can I see a pic of him. It wasn't meant to hurt my feelings but he wasn't going to tell me who they were. But I convinced him. One of them is a straight white guy who failed at his last relationship and stalked his girlfriend for a couple of months. He has a lot of nerve saying this considering he's short and has a big nose. The other guy is from back home and he himself is not very attractive and hasn't been in a relationship that was great either. My bf responded to the first guy by saying I guess but what matters is what's happening now or something like that. Any way if that were me I wouldn't talk to them until they apologized because they seriously insulted my bf
    ...and you, in the process. Did you tell your bf that it hurt your feelings to hear all this?

  11. #11

    Re: What do you say to this?

    Quote Originally Posted by NYClover54 View Post
    If your boyfriend tells you two of his friends said he could find a better looking guy.
    In and of itself, couldn't say much -- would have to know the context, emotional states, history, etc

  12. #12

    Re: What do you say to this?

    Is he trying to initiate something?
    Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless.

  13. #13
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    Re: What do you say to this?

    sounds like your boyfriend has some shallowness going on and so does his friends...what worries me is why would he repeat that to you...that's horrible to even repeat back to you. Red flag all over that!!

  14. #14
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    Re: What do you say to this?

    ^ I agree that would be a red flag. I definitely dont think that is something he should have repeated, also not his friends place to say anything like that.

  15. #15
    Do I dare to eat a peach?
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    Re: What do you say to this?

    Quote Originally Posted by HunterM View Post
    Tell him, "Oh, I could also find a better looking guy."
    This.

  16. #16
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    Re: What do you say to this?

    Was there a reason it was brought up? Did you ask him about it? I think you should. For me if my bf (I don't have one btw) said that to me, I would probably read that as a sign that he might wanna end things depending on his tone.

    Or like what HunterM said, tell him you can find someone better too.

  17. #17
    Kein Ayin Hara JUB Admin KaraBulut's Avatar
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    Re: What do you say to this?

    "And I could find a guy who was more considerate of my feelings".

    And you should.

  18. #18
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    Re: What do you say to this?

    Quote Originally Posted by KaraBulut View Post
    "And I could find a guy who was more considerate of my feelings".

    And you should.
    touche

    in fairness we all say things we wish we hadn't

    i'd tell him how hurt you were by it

    and see how he responds ....... immediately ....... and over time

    we all make mistakes

    see if he makes it again

  19. #19
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    Re: What do you say to this?

    How do you guys feel about your boyfriends talking to their exs over texting and facebook?

  20. #20

    Re: What do you say to this?

    Depends on the situation, the conversation, the frequency, and if your BF tries to hide it from you.
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  21. #21
    JUB Addict Harke the Boeotarch's Avatar
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    Re: What do you say to this?

    I wouldn't say anything, but it would occur to me that I knew three dramaqueens too many.

  22. #22
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    Re: What do you say to this?

    Quote Originally Posted by borg69unimatrix View Post
    Depends on the situation, the conversation, the frequency, and if your BF tries to hide it from you.
    Yes - communication can be benign or not

  23. #23
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    Re: What do you say to this?

    I had friends tell me that about my last partner, I never told him that. I would question him on why he told you though. But who cares what other people think, you choose each other so if you are happy I would just ignore it.

  24. #24
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    Re: What do you say to this?

    I still talk to my ex my current boyfriend knows. At first it bothered him & I told him if it was an issue I would stop, I offered to let him see my texts & never left the room when we did talk on the phone (very rarely) so he is fine with it now. We made better friends compared to lovers anyways so my boyfriends. As long as there is honesty I would be fine too. My boyfriend doesn't talk to his ex, they had a bad break up.

  25. #25
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    Re: What do you say to this?

    I asked to see the texts and he said no because it shouldn't be an issue

  26. #26

    Re: What do you say to this?

    Quote Originally Posted by NYClover54 View Post
    I asked to see the texts and he said no because it shouldn't be an issue
    I hope this is your reaction...

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