JustUsBoys.com gay porn forum

logo

Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 51 to 100 of 101
  1. #51
    Lascivious Lush altlover85's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Dating
    Posts
    5,929

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Quote Originally Posted by blackbeltninja View Post
    Wait.

    The anti crew, who say "no ways" - is every friend a BFF, or are they just people in your circle of friends who you might interact frequently enough that they're not simply an acquaintance?

    I don't think I could have homophobic BFF, but I'm sure plenty of people I see frequently socially are not 100% pro-gay.

    -d-
    You almost took the words out of my mouth.

    I think the definition of friend is a personal thing that could be different for different people. So, what you (general you, not anyone in particular) may consider a friend, I may not.

  2. #52
    JUB Addict Hellax24's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    North Carolina
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Dating
    Posts
    2,190

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    No. If they are against people being gay, against the LGBT community getting married, etc. When I was a teenagers and out in HS. I had a BFF named Lynette. We were inseparable I'd hang at her house watch"Beaches" a million times(Her Fav Movie). I would massage her away her cramps when it was that time of the month. The thing with her is that before meeting she decided to get religion and become Catholic. We had genuine affection and love for each other. However, her beliefs would come up and we would have an argument and then agree to disagree. One argument was a knock down drag out fight in McDonalds. It was not pretty, it started because I wanted to take a guy to prom and she was giving me reasons as to why the wasn't gonna happen.

    Ultimately, she had a transgendered friend who told her I was taking shit about here behind her back and that caused a rift that was never mended. She moved away and we never connected again. At 15, I rationalized being friends with people who thought my being gay was not natural and went with it. I learned that people who say the are your friend and yet find it disgusting , is in fact saying I am. If you cannot be truly accepted by your friends and family...ALL of you then it's not a healthy relationship and accepting there treatment of you as lesser then they are and not right, then for me it's time to let you go and do your thing somewhere else and not around me.

    It's a hard lesson and it's tough, but you have to respect yourself and someone saying the love you , but how can you be gay? Dude, that's disgusting , but I don't judge. When they are judging.


    Now, I have no time for them. I do not want them over my house, at my table, hanging out in the club. NOTHING. I an do bad all by myself.


    For Your Consideration.

    Found on Jerry Mahoney's blog Mommy Man -Adventures of a Gay Super Dad.



    I won’t be your gay friend if…

    - You’ll let me cater your wedding but not have one of my own.

    - You don’t think I should be able to adopt children because I might be “attracted” to them.

    - You think merely saying you love everyone is equivalent to actually demonstrating that love.

    - You use your religion both as a basis to attack me and as a shield to defend yourself from my rebuttal.

    - You would treat your gay child with anything less than complete acceptance, unconditional love and a raging desire to kick the ass of anyone who made life hard for them.

    - You joke in some movie that electric cars are “gay” and expect me to laugh.

    - You still wish Will & Grace had hooked up at the end.

    If any of those apply to you, that’s fine. You have every right to be exactly as horrible and wrong-headed as you want to be. As I said, though, don’t expect me to be your gay friend.

    Now that that’s out of the way, I’d like to address those people who actually are my friends, because clearly we’re giving those other guys the wrong impression.

    So here’s what I propose:

    If you see Kirk Cameron, Sarah Palin or any other blatant homophobe, don’t be nice to them. It confuses them.

    Don’t shake their hand. Don’t style their hair or do their interior design or perform “Rent” for them. And for the love of God, don’t play your 1970s classic rock hits at their wedding, Elton.

    Just cut them off and say, “Sorry, I only do that for friends.”

    It’s not polite and it’s not subtle, but I’m afraid it’s the best course of action from here on out. Sometimes the only way to get through to these people is to be a complete douchebag.

    You know, like them.


    CXXX
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic308529_2.gif

  3. #53
    The Baroness of Bling
    Swellegant's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Oakland (on scenic San Francisco Bay)
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    7,195
    Blog Entries
    30

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dejavudoo View Post
    With respect, three things:

    My definition does not "happen to align" with the standard definitions. They are standard, and therefore I accept them. You have the prerogative of redefining friendship, but that doesn't make my use of a standard definition happenstance -- it makes it standard.

    To exaggerate acceptance of others in my circle of friends to "surround yourself" with those who (allegedly) "hate" me is pure hyperbole. I and multiple other members here have posted that we are not talking about some martyr complex or masochism, but simple acceptance of others. How that becomes retold as "surrounding" ourselves with hoards of haters is just a simple fiction to disparage our friendships.

    And finally, I don't advocate that others SHOULD be friends with those who are against homosexuality. I accept that decision just as I accept the people whom I disagree with. I don't even think it is bad for gay men to choose to reject those who reject homosexuality. But, I can't understand why those who do transcend differences in friendship should somehow be defective. That's just narrow.
    So basically we disagree on definitions. I define friendship (which, being an interpersonal construct, is peculiarly open to personal definition) as a state of mutual esteem and benefit, consciously chosen by both individuals, not merely of mutual recognition and proximity.

    There are people I would define with the word "friend" in the title, such as work-friends or school-friends or Facebook-friends, who I do not count as actual friends, people with whom I do not share the emotional bond of true friendship. They're just people I know in a particular place who, when I leave that particular place, I will not keep in touch. And as such, I don't really care about their beliefs (unless they're particularly vocal about them).

    Like the definition of love, the definition of friendship has degrees. You love an actor or musician in an entirely different way than you love your boyfriend, which in turn is entirely different from the way you love your mother. If you're counting everyone you know as a friend, then of course you're going to come up with a much more open and egalitarian set of rules to govern how you react to their behavior, just as your reactions to the actor's or musician's behavior will be considerably less emotional than your reactions to your boyfriend's behavior.

    I further define being "against" something as hostility--I can't imagine anything I would consider myself "against" that I am not hostile toward. I disapprove of things (like socks with sandals) or am annoyed by things (like reproducing facile definitions of complex ideas), and can certainly overlook minor or personal-preference differences in terms of friendship; but something I am against would have to be something that I believe is bad (like hurting other people). It follows that someone who embraces or exemplifies something I believe is bad would have to be considered a bad person--not in toto, there's no such thing as a purely evil person, but for purposes of friendship.

    Finally, a great deal of the hostility you're perceiving toward your stance is not based solely in your own words: many points of this conversation have come up before, and certain patterns developed in those conversations that put people's backs up when they hear something similar. The debate has been going on for a long time, and lines were drawn in the sand before you arrived here. And anything that smacks of self-loathing or internalized homophobia is like a red cape waving around in front of a bull. Anything that sounds like giving people permission to think you're a bad person will sound, to many of us, like you share the belief that you're a bad person.

    I am peculiarly liable to this, I find. The merest implication that anyone has the right to think ill of me for my sexuality instantly sends my blood-pressure through the roof. Whether or not some random anonymous person thinks ill of me for being gay isn't really of interest, I can't control that and I don't want to; but someone defending that person will automatically piss me off. I'm not Jesus, nor even one of his followers: I do not turn the other cheek.
    Last edited by Swellegant; April 26th, 2013 at 08:28 AM.

    * Question the Dominant Paradigm *

  4. #54
    Ruminating
    sixthson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Married
    Posts
    12,484
    Blog Entries
    19

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    On the other hand, just because someone is gay or gay-friendly is not grounds for friendship, either.
    Everyone wants to be heard. No one wants to listen.

  5. #55
    Shy-ster justanothershyguy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Partnered
    Posts
    3,687

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    I had someone who told me a few weeks ago that I couldn't be friends with anyone straight. This was just in a casual conversation with someone I was barely acquainted with, so... I said my friends are awesome and it doesn't matter who's gay or straight and called it a night
    Author of Lost in a Dream. If you want to make me smile, read it and tell me what you think.

  6. #56
    The nice guy from Nice. dpnice's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    9,843
    Blog Entries
    298

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Good Thread!

    My opinion, which isn't written in concrete, keeps wavering from one side to another depending on the eloquence and logic of some different posters's points of view.
    http://justusboys.com/forum/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=72786&dateline=115443  2352

  7. #57
    Booyah! Callum's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Gerstein and Robarts
    Gender
    Male
    Status
    Dating
    Posts
    2,710
    Blog Entries
    1

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    No, maybe. I've been in academia from the get-go, and around the excessively liberal (Cheering for Palestinian statehood? Please). I haven't been in a position where I would have a homophobic friend. I live downtown Toronto, not small town Montana. I am surrounded by secular humanists and atheists, mostly to the point I've grown intolerant of the religious.

    My best friend, however, is a country-boy-tradesman and we have nothing in common aside from personality quirks. I wouldn't have met him if I didn't work with his girlfriend (now fiancee, yay how time flies) while I was in high school. He's accepting since his aunt is a lesbian, and doesn't care where my penis goes...he would just prefer to not talk about it.
    blacksyringe

  8. #58
    blackbeltninja
    Guest

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post
    I'm defining friend as someone I call up and talk to, someone I choose to stir round myself with. I have a lot of them and if any of them threw shade at me or anyone else for being gay, the calls would stop coming and stop being answered.
    When I came out in September 2011, my most religious friend, the grandson of a Baptist minister, said to me "you know I don't agree with it on religious grounds, and it's not the path I'd have chosen for you or anyone if it were up to me. But I also know that it's a part of you which you can't change, and I'm not going to persecute you for that or try to make it any different. And it's not going to affect our friendship."

    Now, being all old and foreign and unhip and all, I'm not sure whether that is what you kids call "shade". He's nailed his colours to the mast, which I appreciate, and his position is crystal clear.

    So... a genuine question, not intended to bait and with no malice of forethought, to all of you: if you were in my position getting this from your friend, would you end the friendship? For the record, we didn't; nothing changed between us. I will also say I've never heard any anti-gay sentiment from him, nor anything derogatory about the gay guys in his social and work circles, either before or after I came out.

    -d-

  9. #59
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Beware the deepity.
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Married (to a man)
    Posts
    17,936

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    They have baptists in south africa?
    Two journalists killed during live broadcasts by madman smothering them with pillows. Because remember, guns don't kill people....

  10. #60
    blackbeltninja
    Guest

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    ^Granddad is a Scot, but my mate and his dad were born here in .za.

    But yes, we have Baptists.

    -d-

  11. #61
    The Baroness of Bling
    Swellegant's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Oakland (on scenic San Francisco Bay)
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    7,195
    Blog Entries
    30

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Quote Originally Posted by blackbeltninja View Post
    When I came out in September 2011, my most religious friend, the grandson of a Baptist minister, said to me "you know I don't agree with it on religious grounds, and it's not the path I'd have chosen for you or anyone if it were up to me. But I also know that it's a part of you which you can't change, and I'm not going to persecute you for that or try to make it any different. And it's not going to affect our friendship."

    Now, being all old and foreign and unhip and all, I'm not sure whether that is what you kids call "shade". He's nailed his colours to the mast, which I appreciate, and his position is crystal clear.

    So... a genuine question, not intended to bait and with no malice of forethought, to all of you: if you were in my position getting this from your friend, would you end the friendship? For the record, we didn't; nothing changed between us. I will also say I've never heard any anti-gay sentiment from him, nor anything derogatory about the gay guys in his social and work circles, either before or after I came out.

    -d-
    Mutual acceptance of difference: that's the point. You accept his religion that is different from yours and which you no doubt wouldn't have chosen for him; he returns the respect. He believes homosexuality is wrong, but he is also aware that he has no standing in the question and does not feel compelled to prove his belief by making someone else believe it, nor to enforce it on others.

    That said, I don't think I would be able to be friends with someone who adhered so closely to any religion's interpretation of scripture, or of reality. I find people who cling too closely to any religion's tenets are lacking something, if they require an irrational and miraculous construct on which to build their morality. I can be friendly with such a person, I can be civil to him, I might even enjoy his company; but I wouldn't consider him a friend. There would be things we couldn't discuss, and I feel very strongly that I should be able to discuss anything with my friends; there would be things in which we could not support each other, and mutual support is another very important facet of friendship to me.

    I have a problem with my grandmother's religious beliefs for exactly that reason: she thinks that the Bible is the one and only source of right and wrong, and that people who do not believe in her religion do not know right from wrong. She doesn't grasp that people can usually figure out right and wrong without revealed religion...usually faster than those with it. If you have to be enticed with heaven and threatened with hell to behave well, there's something fundamentally wrong with you. I am pretty sure that, had she not been raised with her religion, she'd be an even nicer person than she already is.

    But I give my grandmother a lot of latitude that I wouldn't give anyone else.

    * Question the Dominant Paradigm *

  12. #62
    ForeverSingle+Unloveable 72-Jay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    (somewhere in colorado)
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Bisexual
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    4,311

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Thats a tough question..I wouldn't automatically say "I won't stay friends". It would depend on the person & how homophobic they were & etc
    But I'd also say that it would make being friends more difficult.

  13. #63
    Inactive
    star-warrior's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Home is where the heart is
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Bisexual
    Status
    Married
    Posts
    38,314
    Blog Entries
    9

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Quote Originally Posted by Audio Tech View Post
    It's no skin off my back, but my "friends" who don't approve of homosexuality have simply removed themselves from my life.
    So that basically answers that question.
    I think this.

    If someone hates me for something and I find out about it, its very likely that I won't go around courting your approval. If I am wronged for something, expect hell from me.


  14. #64
    Porn Star Chrizze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Finland
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    339

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Since I once was actively religious pentecostal,they are coming from there..at least couple of them woukld still get bullet instead of me,and I was able to shake at least some of their typical stereotypies about gays..."You?? manliest man of all!",I said,that we all,if almost none,would carry a pink purse.
    (\__/)
    (='.'=)
    <= This is Bunny.Copy Him to your signature.Now.
    (")_(")
    Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.
    Martin Luther King Jr.

  15. #65

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    It very may seem perverse, but dudes who are homophobic tend to turn me on as LONG as they are not too physically violent about it.

  16. #66
    Slut dragon08's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    San Antonio
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    189

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    I think that it would all depend on the situation, I personally wouldn't be friends with anyone who would tell me that I'm going to hell, or that they think that I'm disgusting, they hate me etc. BUT I can see myself being friends with someone who isn't entirely comfortable with homosexuality.

    For instance, I am not an effeminate male so therefore people who just barely meet me will probably not know that I am gay. I won't lie if someone asks me but if it never comes up i could care less.

    Anyways one of my friends before he knew i was gay had been talking to me and the issue of gay rights came up. He said that he supports gay rights because he feels that everyone deserves the same rights regardless as to some peoples judgments. Right after that he admitted that gay guys kinda make him uncomfortable, and that he had also said that he was raised to believe that it is wrong but that he sees no logical reason for it and is trying to break the mindset and his instinct.

    He is a good guy and I got the impression that he had a few stereotypical notions in his head so I decided that i would have some fun with him. I decided to stay pretty ambiguous about my sexuality I never talked about guys or girls with him, but i continued to hang out with him.

    Eventually, one of our friends (who knows that i am gay) started inquiring about my then new boyfriend, but worded it like "how are things going with you and ________?" and my friend looked confused and i was like "Oh yeah thats my boyfriend" and he did a double take and was like "I didn't know that you were gay"

    We are still friends and i think that I managed to give him a very different perspective in the process. I still enjoy messing with him, he is not a very touchy feel-y person to begin with so i will try to hug him occasionally solely for the purpose of making him uncomfortable. In that sense Yes I would be friends with someone who is uncomfortable with it, but not someone who is actively against it.

  17. #67
    blackbeltninja
    Guest

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post
    I wouldn't be his friend after talking to me that way.

    I can deal with family. Family you can not choose.

    But his attitude is a type of negativity that I eliminate from my life if and when I can.

    I had someone say something similar to me when I came out. My desire to be around her gradually declined and I never call or visit her when I'm in town.

    Someone who sees my sexuality as a handicap, a disfigurement that I'm dealing with and then lets me know that they're "okay" with it anyway, since it can't be changed can pretty much kiss my ass.

    I guess I am blessed to have so much love and support that I don't have to deal with those kind of attitudes--I can meet other folks.
    I have had nothing but love and support from him; no "kind of attitude" whatsoever, nor what I would construe as negativity. He believes in his God and in heterosexuality exclusively; I believe in neither of things. And yet we make it work - he is one of my oldest and closest friends.

    I think sometimes our knee-jerk anti reaction to people who struggle with our sexuality over-simplifies the emotional processes which clash inside their heads. Sure, their are homophobes who are zealots in their quest to deny us equality; but there are also guys like this whose hearts and heads battle it out while they attempt to come to terms with it all. I personally opt to judge each of them as individuals on their merits rather than tar them all with the same "homophobe! Burn him!" brush, but I can see why some of you don't.

    Thanks for your honesty nonetheless; I appreciate it, much like I appreciated my friend's when I came out to him and he told me what I told you above - it's not easy for him, either.

    And welcome back.

    -d-
    Last edited by blackbeltninja; April 27th, 2013 at 08:09 AM.

  18. #68
    Porn Star
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    College Park
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Bisexual
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    317

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Jeeeeeez you guys seriously dragged this out long enough.. it's like you don't even read each other's posts or something.. one guy says 'I define friendship differently than you do' and another goes all 'your friendships are not real'.. freaking hell.. just accept it. some people define friends a certain way and others define friends in a different way. someone might define a friend as a person that accepts every tiny thing about them. another might define a friend as a person they can get along with but don't necessarily have to see eye to eye about EVERYTHING. it isn't up to any of you to define friendships for other people.. just. let. it. go. some people have friends who are not supportive of homosexuality. some people have no time for people like that. that's it. it's over. so let it go.

  19. #69
    JUB Addict Hellax24's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    North Carolina
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Dating
    Posts
    2,190

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post
    I wouldn't be his friend after talking to me that way.

    I can deal with family. Family you can not choose.

    But his attitude is a type of negativity that I eliminate from my life if and when I can.

    I had someone say something similar to me when I came out. My desire to be around her gradually declined and I never call or visit her when I'm in town.

    Someone who sees my sexuality as a handicap, a disfigurement that I'm dealing with and then lets me know that they're "okay" with it anyway, since it can't be changed can pretty much kiss my ass.

    I guess I am blessed to have so much love and support that I don't have to deal with those kind of attitudes--I can meet other folks.
    I agree with this from people. Like they are giving us their "Approval" to be ourselves as if that is what we needed. Being in a LGBT community does not require an explanation to true friends. When I was younger the "How do you know" questions I understand, But now I tell people to Google it. An important rule I live by is "When people show you who they are, Believe them"



    Quote Originally Posted by ludolfo View Post
    It very may seem perverse, but dudes who are homophobic tend to turn me on as LONG as they are not too physically violent about it.

    AWWWW Hell Naw! It may seem perverse? Really???

    CXXX
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic308529_2.gif

  20. #70
    The nice guy from Nice. dpnice's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    9,843
    Blog Entries
    298

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Quote Originally Posted by kindabikindagay View Post
    Jeeeeeez you guys seriously dragged this out long enough.. .............. that's it. it's over. so let it go.
    No that is not the point of a thread like this. The importance is to get as many people as possible to state their point of view.
    It is both eye opening and interesting to see how they formulate their arguments to support their opinion.

    Obviously there are basically only two definitions to answering the question but by reading the posts of each member one learns a little more about them, their experiences and their outlook on life.

    Isn't that what an Internet forum is for.

    I wouldn't stay here long if to every question each member answered just "yes" or "no".
    Last edited by dpnice; April 27th, 2013 at 11:21 AM. Reason: English!!!!!!
    http://justusboys.com/forum/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=72786&dateline=115443  2352

  21. #71
    JUB Addict
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    2,613

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Sure if they keep their opinions to themselves and all the conversations don't center around homosexually.

  22. #72

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    There are so many factors....and then there is the difference between "friend" and "acquaintance".

    I would not accept a friend who was homophobic but an acquaintance?...depends. Alot depends on context.

    I have a huge problem if the person is GBLT and homophobic (and I think men who shame feminine men fall into this category as well as most republican gays that I have met) ...not even an acquaintance level will work for me. I think life is to short to subject myself to that.

  23. #73
    The Baroness of Bling
    Swellegant's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Oakland (on scenic San Francisco Bay)
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    7,195
    Blog Entries
    30

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Before this thread drops dead of its own weight, I have a couple more thoughts on the subject (and yes, I do continue arguing with you all when I'm not here).

    Something that has been niggling in the back of my mind are some questions, posed by I do not remember whom, along the lines of: isn't my friend disapproving of my sexuality the same as me disapproving of my friend's girlfriend, or his drug habits?

    Here's the difference: you know your friend, you know the girlfriend, you believe based on knowledge and reason that they are a bad mix. You believe based on your knowledge of the individual that the girlfriend is a total cunt and not to be trusted with your friend's happiness. You know from seeing others suffer the effects of drug addiction that your friend's drug use can and most likely will lead to unhappiness, ill health, and death.

    Conversely, someone who disapproves of homosexuality has no actual knowledge of the subject: it's because Magic Man in the Sky said so in a bunch of ancient stories translated across dozens of languages and thousands of years. They have no reason to believe that homosexuality is bad, they were simply told so... and do not wish to question it because to do so would call into question other beliefs on which they've based their lives.

    This is why I have little respect for organized religion and no respect whatever for scriptural absolutism. People who rely on these things have not decided that an action or attitude is good or bad based on rational thought, nor on observation, nor even on instinct: they base it on a need to not die and a terrible fear of going to hell. That's childish, and any belief system that comes out of a book of ancient verse is suspect and inadmissible. Rather than thinking through whether or not something is good or bad, they refer all decisions to someone else who has read the book and supposedly knows what it means.

    Though I certainly haven't met everyone in the world, the people I have met who believe in a singular interpretation of an ancient text cannot defend their beliefs, all they can do is say "it's a matter of faith," and I'm supposed to accept their condemnation of me, or some facet of me, based on their irrational faith.

    Incidentally, I do believe in the value of faith. I have faith in all sorts of things that I have no rational reason to have faith in... like the existence of an interested and benevolent God. But when people construct elaborate strictures of behavior, and expect other people to follow those strictures, based on an unprovable article of faith, they put themselves in the wrong as far as I'm concerned.

    Another thing that's been banging around in the back of my mind was a post comment that suggested I might extend the latitude I grant my grandmother and her irrational faith-based thinking to non-grandmothers (which is a neat turn of phrase). Perhaps, if I were a Christian saint, I might do so. But since I am a rationalist, I refer to a cost-benefit analysis. And in any c/b analysis of my relationship with my grandmother, her distasteful and damaging religious beliefs are heavily outweighed by what she has done for me and for those I love.

    OK, Grandmother disapproves of my sexuality, and she doesn't even know why, only that she believes she's supposed to in order to go to heaven. I find that incredibly hurtful. However, I wouldn't be alive right now if it wasn't for her kindness to me... and that kindness was and is regardless of my sexuality, not in spite of it. I've never had to lie to her, in fact she was one of the first people I came out to; and though she said then that she disapproves, she's never once in the last thirty years tried to punish me for it.

    She loved me when I was an otherwise unloved child, gave me hope and affection and attention when the other people who were supposed to be caring for me (my parents) were abusing and/or ignoring me. She took me in when I was a teenager and given the choice between living in squalor and hatred and ugliness with one of my real parents or living in a stable home with someone who loved me and cared about me. She took me in when I was a young adult and my drinking had closed so many doors for me that the only choice I had left, besides her, was to turn to prostitution... and not the sex-positive kind, but the degrading, soul-destroying kind.

    She helped me through college, she helped me get sober and stay sober, she's given me stability and safety, a place to live and food to eat when others who do accept my sexuality would not have lifted a finger. With all of that in the balance, her undefended disapproval of my sexuality is almost irrelevant, a one-pound turd weighed against a ton of gold.

    That same attitude, coming from someone who has done nothing tangible for me and proposes to do nothing tangible for me... well, a one-pound turd is a pretty large and nasty object. Any person coming to my door with a one-pound turd and nothing of greater value than the pleasure of his company to offer in balance will obviously be invited to leave.

    Anyway, some thoughts... for what they're worth.
    Last edited by Swellegant; April 28th, 2013 at 04:45 PM.

    * Question the Dominant Paradigm *

  24. #74
    JUB Addict kayman23's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Atlanta
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Bisexual
    Posts
    1,313
    Blog Entries
    12

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Quote Originally Posted by refujiunderground View Post
    what happens if your best friend is your mother? then what? i'll always love my mother no matter what. i love you, mom. she doesn't approve of homosexuality. i came out to her last year. we talked about it and etc. she said that she doesn't approve of gay marriage and etc. she isn't a bad person. she just doesn't get it BUT regardless, i still love her and she will always be my best friend and my mother. if anybody in here were to disrespect her because of that, i would beat their ass. don't disrespect my mother.

    i guess what i'm trying to say is that we can't control what other people think even if what they think offends us. what can we do? my brother will say an ignorant comment about black people and i tell his ass off because he's a black male himself but i still love him regardless. he's just being ignorant. if you were to step up to him about that shit, i would stand up for him and tell you to fall back. sometimes, the ignorant people in our lives are our beloved friends and family BUT we still love them regardless. you can only just hope that they change their views over time towards homosexuality and etc. you can't always change everybody into thinking the way you want them to think even if they're wrong. we can't change everyone's views but we can educate the ignorant and if they want to be ignorant, it's their loss. nobody's perfect.
    However, there is one problem with this. You are referring to family, and I believe the OP is referring to their non-blood related friends. Unless one disown or is disowned by their family, then you will likely have some type of relationship with them regardless of their views.

  25. #75

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post
    For the record: That's what I would consider a negative attitude, and a lack of love. It's the part that I can't get by, and once its said, it becomes clear to me that I'll never be appreciated in a way I feel I need to be in order for a friendship to work.

    So in other words, I work with different criteria. Likely because I have pretty available sources for the criteria I need met.
    I tend to agree with you.
    OTOH, I feel like we shouldn't maybe be too hard on people.

    I've seen this with my parents, e.g.
    I wouldn't say they were "homophobes", but they certainly wern't openly embracing gay people either.

    I came out some time ago, and they accepted me 100%
    I, however, still struggle with the question in my head "Who was the 'real you' (parent)? The one who didn't like gays, or the one who now suddenly likes gays, because your son is one?"
    I confronted them with this issue I had. And I felt that I kinda hurt their feelings, by putting it this way, but they also seemed to understand where I came from.
    They told me: "People can change", "personal views and opinions can change based on personal experiences" ...

    So maybe the same goes for some friends aswell.
    If they are against homosexuality, isn't it most likely that THEY will decide that they don't want anything to do with you, once they find out you're gay?
    If they find out you're gay, tell you they have certain reserves about it, yet still keep investing in a friendship, then they are not AGAINST homosexuality. Then they are being your friend, and they could, through friendship, start accepting "homosexuality" in general.

    Of course, now we're talking in the hypothesis that a "friend" KNOW you're gay.
    If the question is, "would you stay closeted friends with someone who seems anti-gay while he as your friend doesn't know that you're gay?", now that's a whole other story...

    Still, I have to admit, one of the things I still struggle with most since coming out: "Why couldn't be these people be so nice about being gay BEFORE I came out? I could have made my life so much easier! Or are they only putting up a sharade because I came out?"

    Sigh...

  26. #76
    JUB 10k Club palbert's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Coastal Downeast Maine
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    11,132

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    I can and do. But they are few and far between, mainly because to most it is a totally irrelevant issue. As it is to me.

  27. #77

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    ^ Can one be "against homosexually" and still consider it a "totally irrelevant issue"?

  28. #78
    JUB 10k Club palbert's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Coastal Downeast Maine
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    11,132

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kahaih View Post
    ^ Can one be "against homosexually" and still consider it a "totally irrelevant issue"?
    For any dealings I have with them: yes.

    They don't share what they may scream at the tv. Or their religious preferences. Or their bank statement.

    Maine is mostly a live-and-let-live state. Witness our plebiscite on marriage equality.

  29. #79

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    It's interesting to see how quickly our thoughts/ideas go off in different directions. You can almost date/age each poster by his assessment.

    But, I find it wrong to bring up the parent/grandparent bond/situation in this thread. I really don't think that's what Mr. C. Boy is talking about/asking.

    I think it would be impossible to duplicate the caregiver/dependant situation, where someone carries baby pictures of you in their wallet for ten or twenty+ years before ever knowing you were gay, in a friendship between two adults.

  30. #80

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Quote Originally Posted by palbert View Post
    For any dealings I have with them: yes.

    They don't share what they may scream at the tv. Or their religious preferences. Or their bank statement.

    Maine is mostly a live-and-let-live state. Witness our plebiscite on marriage equality.
    That seems one-sided, and too disconnected, to consider calling anything that comes of it a friendship.

  31. #81
    JUB 10k Club palbert's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Coastal Downeast Maine
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    11,132

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kahaih View Post
    That seems one-sided, and too disconnected, to consider calling anything that comes of it a friendship.
    In my life I will be the judge of that. Thanks for your thoughts.

  32. #82

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Quote Originally Posted by palbert View Post
    In my life I will be the judge of that. Thanks for your thoughts.

    Sound very similar to a 'fuck off'.

    You're done with me so easily, yet you'll remain friends with a homophobe?

  33. #83
    JUB Addict MMMonsterBoy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    1,194

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Acquaintances, maybe. But friends? How would that even work? Not very well!

    Staying friends with a homophobe would likely cause stress in our friendship to the point of mutual distancing. It has taken me (still in progress) years to tear down walls about myself that I had put up because I was gay. I don't even know how I was able to communicate with people while I was in the closet, but it wasn't me. So I'm not keen on going back to that.

  34. #84
    Porn Star
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    College Park
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Bisexual
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    317

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Quote Originally Posted by dpnice View Post
    No that is not the point of a thread like this. The importance is to get as many people as possible to state their point of view.
    It is both eye opening and interesting to see how they formulate their arguments to support their opinion.

    Obviously there are basically only two definitions to answering the question but by reading the posts of each member one learns a little more about them, their experiences and their outlook on life.

    Isn't that what an Internet forum is for.

    I wouldn't stay here long if to every question each member answered just "yes" or "no".


    yeah, hi, yeah I was talking about how everyone keeps defining the meaning of a friend for each other

  35. #85
    Marty Saybrooke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    2,187

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    I've stayed friends with three people and turned them around on it, so yep!

    People can change
    I make my bed with the stars above my head and dream of a place called home.

  36. #86
    JUB 10k Club palbert's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Coastal Downeast Maine
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    11,132

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Quote Originally Posted by kindabikindagay View Post
    yeah, hi, yeah I was talking about how everyone keeps defining the meaning of a friend for each other
    Thank you. You point out a serious problem, with too many taking issue with anothers definitions in personal relationships..

  37. #87
    Know thyself kallipolis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Piraeus, Greece
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Partnered
    Posts
    12,673

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Quote Originally Posted by Saybrooke View Post
    I've stayed friends with three people and turned them around on it, so yep!

    People can change
    The power of persuasion evidences our ability to influence people serving the common good and building deeper friendships.

  38. #88

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    That is a good point about changing people's perception...and it brings me to the part I left out earlier but since a few people have brought it up ......

    Thing is...I really like men. Not just for sex and romance....I like the company of men. I like who they are. I like to hang around them. I like gay men and straight men...from uber masculine men and uber feminine men and everything in between. I really enjoy and naturally gravitate toward blue collar types of men for friendship and conversation....and I never hide my sexuality but it is a non issue for me and so it is a non issue for them...100 out of 100 times. I can say that these kinds of men actually appreciate having the opportunity to make it a non issue as well...if you give them a chance...and I do.

  39. #89
    blackbeltninja
    Guest

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post
    I guess I'm spoiled.

    I have no shortage of options for friendships in which my sexuality isn't even close to being an issue. So what's the incentive for hanging out with folks who are anti-gay? Simply put: there is none.

    After coming out, I've had one "friend" give me shit. I no longer hang out with her. Since then, I've made a ton more and they're all warm and accepting.

    I guess it comes down to luck with me.
    Or perhaps you just, I don't know, gave up on her too soon.

    -d-

  40. #90
    Spitfire with a smile. yeahright1991's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    2,414

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Yes...I would. As long as they don't denigrate me or make nasty comments about my lifestyle. I mean...there are people who have their reasons to be against homosexuality...be it religious or otherwise...that doesn't make them by definition...homophobic. As long as there is an agreement to disagree (spoken or unspoken) I'm ok. It would be the same as saying someone who has a difference on immigration or isn't a Catholic as I am could not be friends with me. Furthermore, the best discoveries come out of disagreements (in terms of science, math and so on).

  41. #91

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    I like this topic a lot
    A lot of sensible, yet sometimes opposite views by different posters...

    My main point is still this: "would people who are against homosexuality want to be friends with YOU?"
    My guess would be: "No, unless they didn't know you were gay". If they did, then they'd know that they were (had always been) friends with "a homo" (lol), and therefore "being against homosexuality" is euhm... ridiculous.
    Therefor, the point is "mooh", it's like a cow's opinon, it's "mooh"*





    * dixit Joey TRIBBIANI

  42. #92

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Quote Originally Posted by blackbeltninja View Post
    Or perhaps you just, I don't know, gave up on her too soon.

    -d-

    Do you really think that's fair? I don't.


    Someone's being "against homosexuality" is, more often than not, just one symptom of a much larger disease/problem, and few people have the time, energy, and/or expertise to 'cure' them.

    I'm sure most people have plenty enough problems of their own, and things to get done, these days, without taking on such projects.

  43. #93

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Nope ... I don't waste my time being 'friends' with ignorant bigoted cunts.
    Also, being anti-gay is usually a symptom of some sort of religious disease.

  44. #94
    美しいヨーロッパ Scealle's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    2,937
    Blog Entries
    1

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Quote Originally Posted by HoodedRat View Post
    Nope ... I don't waste my time being 'friends' with ignorant bigoted cunts.
    Also, being anti-gay is usually a symptom of some sort of religious disease.
    I have met a lot of atheists who are anti-gay too. They don't tackle on gay topics as aggressively as those religious conservative ones, but still are very disgusted with gays and the life style.

  45. #95

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Quote Originally Posted by Scealle View Post
    I have met a lot of atheists who are anti-gay too. They don't tackle on gay topics as aggressively as those religious conservative ones, but still are very disgusted with gays and the life style.
    That's curious.

    How is it that you find yourself meeting not only a lot of atheists, but also atheists who are anti-gay?

    I'm curious because the few atheists I've known are smart enough, and polite enough, to avoid the usual conflicts and/or hurt feelings.

    Where are you meeting them, and how does this information present itself?

  46. #96
    blackbeltninja
    Guest

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kahaih View Post
    Do you really think that's fair? I don't.


    Someone's being "against homosexuality" is, more often than not, just one symptom of a much larger disease/problem, and few people have the time, energy, and/or expertise to 'cure' them.

    I'm sure most people have plenty enough problems of their own, and things to get done, these days, without taking on such projects.
    I do think it's fair.

    What this thread, and those who are keen to cut out the haters, fails to take into account is that it is possible to be uncomfortable with an idea and NOT be of the pitchfork-bearing-angry-mob-baying-for-blood mentality. I do think it's possible to be friends, good friends, with someone and not be in 100% synchronicity with him, even on terrifically important matters. Is that not the very definition of the tolerance we all claim to want? Or is it for yes-men only?

    I won't hang out with someone who is hell-bent on persecuting me; that's a no brainer. But that's either the black or the white of the issue, and there are numerous greys in between which too many of us view as deal-breakers.

    -d-

  47. #97

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    Quote Originally Posted by blackbeltninja View Post
    I do think it's fair.

    What this thread, and those who are keen to cut out the haters, fails to take into account is that it is possible to be uncomfortable with an idea and NOT be of the pitchfork-bearing-angry-mob-baying-for-blood mentality. I do think it's possible to be friends, good friends, with someone and not be in 100% synchronicity with him, even on terrifically important matters. Is that not the very definition of the tolerance we all claim to want? Or is it for yes-men only?

    I won't hang out with someone who is hell-bent on persecuting me; that's a no brainer. But that's either the black or the white of the issue, and there are numerous greys in between which too many of us view as deal-breakers.

    -d-
    What?

    Is your definition of 'friends with' all about just tolerating people?

    I think this would have been a completely different thread had the title been 'Can You Tolerate Someone Who Is Against Homosexuality?'

    --

    Anyway, it most certainly is not fair of you to ask anyone to take on the task of educating or converting someone who is 'against homosexuality'. Where do you get off with that? Who do you think you are?




    And, I think words like 'pitchfork' and 'angry mob' have nothing to do with simply choosing not to invite someone into our lives.

    Lighten up on the drama a bit, please.

  48. #98
    JUB 10k Club palbert's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Coastal Downeast Maine
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    11,132

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    ^^^ Those living in a glass house best not throw stones

  49. #99
    To Wed Mr. Clean in Iowa!
    hotdog1846's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Aisle 7, Middle Shelf
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    6,562

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    What a fascinating thread for me to come back into from an extended hiatus!

  50. #100
    nf fbt funw glbhuof gmhp SLOPPYSECONDS's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    13,578
    Blog Entries
    3

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

    seriooooooooooooooooooous question methinks

    is human race out da padded cell?

    thankyou

    any world leadurs fig bullshit raise ya foot
    centar a butt a centar
    -cocktail shakar a weedy_

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | About JustUsBoys.com | Site Map | RSS | Webmasters | Advertise | Link to JUB | Report A Bug on this Page

Visit our sister sites: Broke Straight Boys | CollegeDudes.com | CollegeBoyPhysicals.com | RocketTube
All models appearing on JustUsBoys.com were over 18 at the time of photography. The records for sexually explicit images required by U.S. 2257 are kept by the
individual producers of the images. The location of the records is available by clicking the Custodian of Records link at the bottom of each gallery page.
© 2012 JustUsBoys.com. The JustUsBoys.com name and logo are registered trademarks. Labeled with ICRA and RTA. Member of ASACP and The Free Speech Coalition.