am I seriously the only one? -_-

[kindabikindagay]

okay so I've been reading a bunch of threads on here and I see a lot of married men cheating on their wives or guys cheating on their girlfriends and saying things like 'I do it on the down low so nobody will ever know' that doesn't make it right, does it? I mean tbh the way I see it, if you're gay, your partner has the right to know and if you're bi you make a choice and commit if it doesn't work, break it off.. I mean I don't know I guess I'm venting or something.. as a guy who's been played, seriously not cool lol.

But I guess I'm asking you guys for your opinions.. do you think it's all good? What justifies it for you?

[TheSpectatingLoner]

I'm over people who cheat on or deceive their partners. Scum, plain and simple.

[Kahaih]

I'm over people who cheat on or deceive their partners. Scum, plain and simple.

? ? ?

I wish habitual cheaters could be honest enough to tell it like it is, and stop using the word 'partner' for 'live-in fuck buddy', 'beard', 'house servant with benefits', 'fuckable family pet', etc./what the fuck ever.

[alphacock]

I dislike cheater and hope that I will not be cheated on

[TheSpectatingLoner]

? ? ?

I wish habitual cheaters could be honest enough to tell it like it is, and stop using the word 'partner' for 'live-in fuck buddy', 'beard', 'house servant with benefits', 'fuckable family pet', etc./what the fuck ever.

Let's not attack the term partner. There are monogamous, faithful couples that use the term as well.

[TheSpectatingLoner]

I dislike cheater and hope that I will not be cheated on

I've said it before, but anyone cheating on me is an instant end of relationship. I've gone 32+ years without being in a relationship. I am not afraid of being alone and I won't forgive someone's ultimate betrayal out of desperation to have someone in my life.

[Saybrooke]

I think it's wrong to cheat, but at the same time, I wouldn't pass judgment. Especially if I don't know the circumstances.

[BENDERBOY]

Either commit to someone fully or have the balls to walk away.

Those in "open" relationships piss me off as well.

[TheSpectatingLoner]

^I don't understand why that annoys people. If two people set mutual terms to their own relationship, why should that bother someone? It may not be for you, but they are open with each other and without deception, so what's the matter?

[BENDERBOY]

^I don't understand why that annoys people. If two people set mutual terms to their own relationship, why should that bother someone? It may not be for you, but they are open with each other and without deception, so what's the matter?

It's a pretty weak ass relationship if one or more partners is still looking elsewhere to get their needs met.

[borg69unimatrix]

OMG I thought Medusa was back.

[Coward92]

Cheaters in my vicinity usually get flamed.
They also tend to be under constant humiliation.
I'm evil.

[TheSpectatingLoner]

The strength of the relationship (any kind of relationship, be it friendship, business, romantic) lies on which needs are wanted and agreed upon by both parties, and whether or not those needs are satisfied. If two people never agreed to be to be exclusive, I don't see how their relationship is weak because simply because they are not going after something they didn't want to begin with.

It's one of those things I don't think I'd ever want to experience, but I'm not going to shun it simply because it doesn't float my boat.

[Kahaih]

Let's not attack the term partner. There are monogamous, faithful couples that use the term as well.

Ya, let's not.

I didn't attack the word; I expressed my dislike of the misuse of the word.

[Huntneo(PT)]

I value HONESTY in my relationships above all else. Pretty much any and everything else can be worked through, but I can't deal with lying and deceit.

[TheSpectatingLoner]

Ya, let's not.

I didn't attack the word; I expressed my dislike of the misuse of the word.

Gotcha

[whitedavo]

The "battered woman" or the "mother who tries to hold it together" is a tired theme but I haven't ever heard as much talk about the weak-minded male or "male who needs approval". There are a ton of guys who are simply just selfish, lazy, or just don't want to be alone, which is why they stay. They know they run the risk of actually having to be honest and confront situations, and they just shy away.

If you're hiding it from your parents, it's atleast somewhat understandable. A lot of people have horrible parents in general, let alone trying to come out to them. But to the person you're with? You're honestly wasting their time. *They* could be enjoying life while you do whatever you do, but cheaters never act in the best interest of everyone.

If you cheat on me? It's hurtful but atleast we can end it and I can rebuild and move on. If you waste what little time I have on this earth? #LeftEye

[Adrock-JD]

I'm going to somewhat justify this learned bad behavior, at least in certain circumstances, because there were no other alternatives.

A lot of the older generations grew up in a world where gay sex was worse than the devil. It was hated more than serial killers, dreaded more than cancer. So it was driven, no HAMMERED, underground. Into the shadows, the woods and restrooms, literally.

Then AIDS came along and ironically educated the general population on the subject. But that's another topic.

Some of the men from those times don't know how to accept themselves publicly or privately. They got married because that's what was expected or required of them. Their needs and desires never went away, obviously. Their coping mechanism was to satisfy the needs in secret.

Things aren't all hunky dory these days either. This behavior continues but I believe it is on the decline.

So before jumping to conclusions about bad behavior, consider the environmental pressures that created it. That's the real evil, not necessarily the guy whose sexuality has been warped into a Jerry Springer episode.

[justanothershyguy]

Cheaters are assholes. I agree with Bender, either commit or walk away.

It's a pretty weak ass relationship if one or more partners is still looking elsewhere to get their needs met.

To be honest, I used to not understand open relationships much. I still have no interest in being a part of one, either. However, I do know of couples who have friends that are fuck-buddies. People that they have a special connection to aside from it just being sex. And I don't think either person in the couple has any issues since they are both a part of it.

What I'm saying is that I think if everyone involved is okay with it and honest and true to their heart, then I see no issue with a couple with fuck buddies.

[HunterM]

Cheaters are cheaters regardless of straights or gays. Women cheating on their husbands are no the rise in the last few years as well. Saw this on the news. There are single women who specifically seduce men with wedding bands on their fingers at bars and clubs. It's a turn-on for them - getting men that are taken. They don't mind being the mistress.

I have no respect for cheaters.

[nycguydowntown]

with social media I think cheating is easier than ever---the thing about cheating is--I've known couples who where CONVINCED their partner wasn't cheating----and they were together doing everything together---and turns out they were serial cheaters----you just never 100% know what is in a persons heart or mind. So, go into it with best intentions, but unless you are with person 24-7 you don't know. If you are into old art films like I am---"Last Tango in Paris" is about this.

[loveguys72]

The thing about cheating is, you eventually get found out. Because cheaters never cheat just once. Now if the couple in question has agreed beforehand that each is free to roam at will, that's cool; that's not cheating. I don't get it, and wouldn't want it for myself, but that's me. But if you've gone in with the understanding that it's an exclusive relationship, you need to honor that promise or get out of the relationship.

[MissAnne]

I remember this one guy had a thread on here a while back in the Straight Bi section. (Its another world over there, can we all agree on that?) Its a dark place .

He had posted these long, seemingly legit stories about his sexual encounters with what he called "straight" men. A ton of unprotecteed sex and his wife apparently didn't know. A lot of people seemed to enjoy his stories. There was a lot of "tell me more, tell me more" over there, but Id say that most people were kind of disgusted with him.

Ive said this before, I only see this in the Straight and Bi section and its always the same couple of people that are commenting and making these threads. Ive seen cheaters get blasted over and over again in every other section.

Can you link us to some of these threads ?

OMG I thought Medusa was back.

I thought the same thing. Im still thinking that.

[pat grimshaw]

So there's no one here demanding their legally-binding gay marriage?

[eastofeden]

I don't involve myself with other consenting adults personal sex lives. I feel it would diminish me as an individual because I think what people say about other people reveals more about who they are and says nothing about the other person. Bottom line...It is none of my business what choices they make.

I don't promise fidelity to anyone so it is impossible for me to "cheat". I do promise honesty and I keep my promise. I have been monogamous for almost 27 years now. Monogamy is not a problem for me.

[jensu846]

my married buddy plays with me from time to time. He just liked to play with guys on occasion and didnt want anyone to know. I certainly didnt care. Nobody found out about it, so nobody got hurt. no big deal.

[animalius]

It's a pretty weak ass relationship if one or more partners is still looking elsewhere to get their needs met.

I beg to differ.

Once upon a time I was dating multiple guys at the same time. Most of those times, it was just 2 guys, but at some points I had 3 "boyfriends".

As far as I know, they were all monogamous to me even though I kept telling them I didn't care if they saw other guys. And no, I don't consider it cheating since I always asked for their permission first to have another one.

Nowadays, I'm down to one. I've asked several times if I could see another guy and he has said no, so I haven't seen anyone else.

So, to me there's nothing wrong with seeing multiple people if all parties agreed to it.

[EuroSoccer]

OP as you can see you are not the only one........... I bet you feel better now

[CupidBoy]

Either commit to someone fully or have the balls to walk away.

Those in "open" relationships piss me off as well.

It's a pretty weak ass relationship if one or more partners is still looking elsewhere to get their needs met.

I see my man spilt the tea here, I have nothing more to add, tbqh.

[BENDERBOY]

I beg to differ.

Once upon a time I was dating multiple guys at the same time. Most of those times, it was just 2 guys, but at some points I had 3 "boyfriends".

As far as I know, they were all monogamous to me even though I kept telling them I didn't care if they saw other guys. And no, I don't consider it cheating since I always asked for their permission first to have another one.

Nowadays, I'm down to one. I've asked several times if I could see another guy and he has said no, so I haven't seen anyone else.

So, to me there's nothing wrong with seeing multiple people if all parties agreed to it.

So you aren't committed to this current partner either.
Another mockery of a relationship.

[Huntneo(PT)]

I've asked several times if I could see another guy and he has said no, so I haven't seen anyone else.

hmmm...that must have been awkward right after.

[JP.]

I think it's a responsibility for every couple in the first initiation of rltship to tell what type of partner he is:

Is he a serial monogamous?
Is he committed but open for fling?
Is he open rltship?

Because the cheat value would be differ from person to person, although I think it's not cool to lie for serious/monogamy types because if you do as a partner, you're simply violated their rights

[Str8Top14701]

That must be pretty rare air up there on your high horses that you are so quick to judge others without much knowledge of a situation, wiser and perfect people that you must be.

Didn't you mamas teach you that while you have one finger pointed at someone you have three pointed back at yourselves?

[Coward92]

That must be pretty rare air up there on your high horses that you are so quick to judge others without much knowledge of a situation, wiser and perfect people that you must be.

Didn't you mamas teach you that while you have one finger pointed at someone you have three pointed back at yourselves?

My momma also teached me that thing are mostly what they seem to be.
She also teached me that there are people who will always disregard anyone to get what they want.
She also teached me that you should never be ashamed of defending yourself, and your way of life and the stuff you believe in.

And yes, it is our way of life that we are trying to defend here. And sure, you may think otherwise and lead your life in a different way if you like but don't do it on other people's expense, because that is disgusting and it also turns you into a parasite.

[FuryOfFirestorm]

I remember this one guy had a thread on here a while back in the Straight Bi section. (Its another world over there, can we all agree on that?) Its a dark place .

He had posted these long, seemingly legit stories about his sexual encounters with what he called "straight" men. A ton of unprotecteed sex and his wife apparently didn't know. A lot of people seemed to enjoy his stories. There was a lot of "tell me more, tell me more" over there, but Id say that most people were kind of disgusted with him.

I despise people like that. There was a good friend of my family that got AIDS from her husband because he was fucking every prostitute in Miami without protection. Mrs. Lopez was a lovely woman and mother than didn't deserve the slow death that her asshole husband inflicted on her.

[MissAnne]

I despise people like that. There was a good friend of my family that got AIDS from her husband because he was fucking every prostitute in Miami without protection. Mrs. Lopez was a lovely woman and mother than didn't deserve the slow death that her asshole husband inflicted on her.

That's horrible.

Cheaters could atleast use protection.

[kindabikindagay]

my married buddy plays with me from time to time. He just liked to play with guys on occasion and didnt want anyone to know. I certainly didnt care. Nobody found out about it, so nobody got hurt. no big deal.

It's still a betrayal.. he likes to mess around with guys he shouldn't have gotten MARRIED.. the problem isn't people finding out it's that the entire relationship is built on a web of lies that grew bigger and bigger the more he dropped his pants for you. You didn't care, well you should have. cheating is not okay and especially if the person is committing adultery. You bound yourself to that other person the day you put a ring on your finger so it is a serious issue and you should care.

[kindabikindagay]

OP as you can see you are not the only one........... I bet you feel better now

I do O:3 tbh this thread was mainly my sneaky way of finding out if I can fight for the person being cheated on or not.. even if it's not any of my business it's still wrong.. it's bad and people should feel bad. lol I mean why the hell are we fighting for gay marriage if the entire concept of marriage means so little to people..

[kindabikindagay]

That must be pretty rare air up there on your high horses that you are so quick to judge others without much knowledge of a situation, wiser and perfect people that you must be.

Didn't you mamas teach you that while you have one finger pointed at someone you have three pointed back at yourselves?

um what circumstances make it okay? "oh nobody would accept me for being gay" boo fucking hoo that doesn't give you the right to do that to the person you're cheating on.. make it look like you're single if that's the issue.. also.. side note.. idk about other people but when I point my finger at someone, the other three curl upward to my palm.. I find it oddly uncomfortable to point them back at myself.. so that's me being childish '3'

[HunterM]

I watched a documentary on polyamory...involving 2 straight married couples living in the same house. They would have sex as a group and with each other's partner privately as well. One night, husband A was horny. He slipped out of the bedroom while his wife (wife A) was sleeping. He walks into the other couple's bedroom and has a threesome with the other couple. Everyone was happy...until the next day.

Wife A finds out what happened. Then all hell break loose. Wife A is emotionally distraught and accuses her husband of cheating because he didn't have her permission in advance (for that one time) to have sex with the other couple (which they all had sex with together and separately - switching partners - often). She accuses the other couple of helping her husband to cheat. Couple B explain they didn't know husband A didn't have his wife's permission to have sex for that one encounter. That's why they welcomed him to join them in bed. Couple B also accuse husband A of cheating. But they are quick to forgive him.

It was an interesting insight into this particular Polyamory.

[TheLyingGame]

Nope. Cheaters are disgusting.

[eastofeden]

I do O:3 tbh this thread was mainly my sneaky way of finding out if I can fight for the person being cheated on or not.. even if it's not any of my business it's still wrong.. it's bad and people should feel bad. lol I mean why the hell are we fighting for gay marriage if the entire concept of marriage means so little to people..

...and why are you defining marriage for anyone but yourself or qualifying anyone else's relationship except your own? It is no better then the Baptist Ladies Club deciding who and what kind of marriages are "worthy". That behavoir is the same behavoir practiced by the people who have oppressed us. Who are you to tell someone else how they "should" feel?

In the spirit of your original question....I am wondering if anyone else gets that besides me?

[blackbeltninja]

Ive said this before, I only see this in the Straight and Bi section and its always the same couple of people that are commenting and making these threads. Ive seen cheaters get blasted over and over again in every other section.

Can you link us to some of these threads ?

Er... some of us have the decency to blast cheaters over in Straight/Bisexual too, you know. Dark place that it is, and all.

-d-

[MissAnne]

Er... some of us have the decency to blast cheaters over in Straight/Bisexual too, you know. Dark place that it is, and all.

-d-

Er...I said that.

A lot of people seemed to enjoy his stories. There was a lot of "tell me more, tell me more" over there, but Id say that most people were kind of disgusted with him.

[blackbeltninja]

Ah, so you did.

My bad.


-d-

[kindabikindagay]

...and why are you defining marriage for anyone but yourself or qualifying anyone else's relationship except your own? It is no better then the Baptist Ladies Club deciding who and what kind of marriages are "worthy". That behavoir is the same behavior practiced by the people who have oppressed us. Who are you to tell someone else how they "should" feel?

In the spirit of your original question....I am wondering if anyone else gets that besides me?

I'm not judging if a marriage is worthy or not. I'm fine with open marriages where one tells the other they're gonna go hook up and the other is fine with it. That's a person's own private relationship with their partner and I'm not one to say anything.. But a marriage based on 'I fucked several guys discretely so nobody will know and nobody gets hurt' kind of policy is a ridiculous one.. the entire concept of marriage is built on trust.. who the hell are YOU to encourage deceit and betrayal.. first of all do cheaters have no conscience? what do they think exactly? 'fuck.. my wife is probably sitting at home expecting me to come back right about now.. my loving, faithful wife.. eh fuck it, I'm gonna go score some ass' I don't get it.. if you're unsatisfied with your partner you owe them at least to let them know you want out. if you don't want to leave your partner and you want the best of both worlds find yourself somebody that shares your interests. tell your partner or do something that doesn't involve the worst kind of betrayal out there..


edit: I'm saying if marriage means so little to people then why bother fighting for it? if it's so easy to just go out and get laid whenever you fucking feel like it, what's the point of committing yourself to a single person if you're clearly not willing to devote yourself to them as well?

[pat grimshaw]

...I'm saying if marriage means so little to people then why bother fighting for it? ...

The zealots are fighting for it as an theoretical exercise.

The most people I've seen get married under the new laws are older men with toy-boys or who want to import someone from overseas.

[eastofeden]

I'm not judging if a marriage is worthy or not. I'm fine with open marriages where one tells the other they're gonna go hook up and the other is fine with it. That's a person's own private relationship with their partner and I'm not one to say anything.. But a marriage based on 'I fucked several guys discretely so nobody will know and nobody gets hurt' kind of policy is a ridiculous one.. the entire concept of marriage is built on trust.. who the hell are YOU to encourage deceit and betrayal.. first of all do cheaters have no conscience? what do they think exactly? 'fuck.. my wife is probably sitting at home expecting me to come back right about now.. my loving, faithful wife.. eh fuck it, I'm gonna go score some ass' I don't get it.. if you're unsatisfied with your partner you owe them at least to let them know you want out. if you don't want to leave your partner and you want the best of both worlds find yourself somebody that shares your interests. tell your partner or do something that doesn't involve the worst kind of betrayal out there..


edit: I'm saying if marriage means so little to people then why bother fighting for it? if it's so easy to just go out and get laid whenever you fucking feel like it, what's the point of committing yourself to a single person if you're clearly not willing to devote yourself to them as well?

Let me see....

My lover who I have now "cheated" (I hate the word because he never promised me fidelity...I wouldn't let him) on me the first couple of years and came to tell me about it...and because I am not a judgemental asshole with a victim mentality I listened to him and not too long afterward I found out he had been molested by his father since he was in the third grade and he repressed it because it was too much for him to take and his acting out was part of a lifelong attempt to hide from his experiences.

Of course...you would have to have empathy for other people rather than judging them (they have no conscience?)...I gave him love and support and made sure he got counseling which helped him come to terms with what happened eventually and he put it behind him.

That is one reason people "cheat"....a common one actually...there are so many others.....a little bit of empathy goes a long way.

[eastofeden]

The zealots are fighting for it as an theoretical exercise.

.....and some people believe in the principle of equality under the law and fight for that whether they believe in the institution of marriage or not...

...as opposed to the people who stand for nothing in particular and fall for anything.

[pat grimshaw]

..... fight for that whether they believe in …

The zealots have been doing that in my country. They have divided and weakened the major political parties. And the governments— federal and state —have refused it because they are more more important economic issues to fix.