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  1. #1
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    am I seriously the only one? -_-

    okay so I've been reading a bunch of threads on here and I see a lot of married men cheating on their wives or guys cheating on their girlfriends and saying things like 'I do it on the down low so nobody will ever know' that doesn't make it right, does it? I mean tbh the way I see it, if you're gay, your partner has the right to know and if you're bi you make a choice and commit if it doesn't work, break it off.. I mean I don't know I guess I'm venting or something.. as a guy who's been played, seriously not cool lol.

    But I guess I'm asking you guys for your opinions.. do you think it's all good? What justifies it for you?
    Last edited by kindabikindagay; March 20th, 2013 at 07:45 AM.

  2. #2

    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post
    I'm over people who cheat on or deceive their partners. Scum, plain and simple.
    ? ? ?

    I wish habitual cheaters could be honest enough to tell it like it is, and stop using the word 'partner' for 'live-in fuck buddy', 'beard', 'house servant with benefits', 'fuckable family pet', etc./what the fuck ever.

  3. #3

    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    I dislike cheater and hope that I will not be cheated on

  4. #4
    Marty Saybrooke's Avatar
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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    I think it's wrong to cheat, but at the same time, I wouldn't pass judgment. Especially if I don't know the circumstances.
    I make my bed with the stars above my head and dream of a place called home.

  5. #5

    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    OMG I thought Medusa was back.
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

  6. #6

    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post
    Let's not attack the term partner. There are monogamous, faithful couples that use the term as well.
    Ya, let's not.

    I didn't attack the word; I expressed my dislike of the misuse of the word.

  7. #7
    The Journey of a Lifetime Adrock-JD's Avatar
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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    I'm going to somewhat justify this learned bad behavior, at least in certain circumstances, because there were no other alternatives.

    A lot of the older generations grew up in a world where gay sex was worse than the devil. It was hated more than serial killers, dreaded more than cancer. So it was driven, no HAMMERED, underground. Into the shadows, the woods and restrooms, literally.

    Then AIDS came along and ironically educated the general population on the subject. But that's another topic.

    Some of the men from those times don't know how to accept themselves publicly or privately. They got married because that's what was expected or required of them. Their needs and desires never went away, obviously. Their coping mechanism was to satisfy the needs in secret.

    Things aren't all hunky dory these days either. This behavior continues but I believe it is on the decline.

    So before jumping to conclusions about bad behavior, consider the environmental pressures that created it. That's the real evil, not necessarily the guy whose sexuality has been warped into a Jerry Springer episode.

  8. #8
    Shy-ster justanothershyguy's Avatar
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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Cheaters are assholes. I agree with Bender, either commit or walk away.

    Quote Originally Posted by BENDERBOY View Post
    It's a pretty weak ass relationship if one or more partners is still looking elsewhere to get their needs met.
    To be honest, I used to not understand open relationships much. I still have no interest in being a part of one, either. However, I do know of couples who have friends that are fuck-buddies. People that they have a special connection to aside from it just being sex. And I don't think either person in the couple has any issues since they are both a part of it.

    What I'm saying is that I think if everyone involved is okay with it and honest and true to their heart, then I see no issue with a couple with fuck buddies.
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  9. #9
    JUB Addict HunterM's Avatar
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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Cheaters are cheaters regardless of straights or gays. Women cheating on their husbands are no the rise in the last few years as well. Saw this on the news. There are single women who specifically seduce men with wedding bands on their fingers at bars and clubs. It's a turn-on for them - getting men that are taken. They don't mind being the mistress.

    I have no respect for cheaters.
    Last edited by HunterM; March 20th, 2013 at 09:52 AM.

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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    with social media I think cheating is easier than ever---the thing about cheating is--I've known couples who where CONVINCED their partner wasn't cheating----and they were together doing everything together---and turns out they were serial cheaters----you just never 100% know what is in a persons heart or mind. So, go into it with best intentions, but unless you are with person 24-7 you don't know. If you are into old art films like I am---"Last Tango in Paris" is about this.

  11. #11
    JUB Addict loveguys72's Avatar
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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    The thing about cheating is, you eventually get found out. Because cheaters never cheat just once. Now if the couple in question has agreed beforehand that each is free to roam at will, that's cool; that's not cheating. I don't get it, and wouldn't want it for myself, but that's me. But if you've gone in with the understanding that it's an exclusive relationship, you need to honor that promise or get out of the relationship.

  12. #12
    Respira MissAnne's Avatar
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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    I remember this one guy had a thread on here a while back in the Straight Bi section. (Its another world over there, can we all agree on that?) Its a dark place .

    He had posted these long, seemingly legit stories about his sexual encounters with what he called "straight" men. A ton of unprotecteed sex and his wife apparently didn't know. A lot of people seemed to enjoy his stories. There was a lot of "tell me more, tell me more" over there, but Id say that most people were kind of disgusted with him.

    Ive said this before, I only see this in the Straight and Bi section and its always the same couple of people that are commenting and making these threads. Ive seen cheaters get blasted over and over again in every other section.

    Can you link us to some of these threads ?
    Quote Originally Posted by borg69unimatrix View Post
    OMG I thought Medusa was back.
    I thought the same thing. Im still thinking that.
    Last edited by MissAnne; March 20th, 2013 at 10:41 AM.
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  13. #13

    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    So there's no one here demanding their legally-binding gay marriage?
    .

  14. #14

    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    I don't involve myself with other consenting adults personal sex lives. I feel it would diminish me as an individual because I think what people say about other people reveals more about who they are and says nothing about the other person. Bottom line...It is none of my business what choices they make.

    I don't promise fidelity to anyone so it is impossible for me to "cheat". I do promise honesty and I keep my promise. I have been monogamous for almost 27 years now. Monogamy is not a problem for me.

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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    my married buddy plays with me from time to time. He just liked to play with guys on occasion and didnt want anyone to know. I certainly didnt care. Nobody found out about it, so nobody got hurt. no big deal.

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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    OP as you can see you are not the only one........... I bet you feel better now

  17. #17
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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    That must be pretty rare air up there on your high horses that you are so quick to judge others without much knowledge of a situation, wiser and perfect people that you must be.

    Didn't you mamas teach you that while you have one finger pointed at someone you have three pointed back at yourselves?

  18. #18
    Suck my dick, Scalia! FuryOfFirestorm's Avatar
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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by MissAnne View Post
    I remember this one guy had a thread on here a while back in the Straight Bi section. (Its another world over there, can we all agree on that?) Its a dark place .

    He had posted these long, seemingly legit stories about his sexual encounters with what he called "straight" men. A ton of unprotecteed sex and his wife apparently didn't know. A lot of people seemed to enjoy his stories. There was a lot of "tell me more, tell me more" over there, but Id say that most people were kind of disgusted with him.
    I despise people like that. There was a good friend of my family that got AIDS from her husband because he was fucking every prostitute in Miami without protection. Mrs. Lopez was a lovely woman and mother than didn't deserve the slow death that her asshole husband inflicted on her.

  19. #19
    Respira MissAnne's Avatar
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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by FuryOfFirestorm View Post
    I despise people like that. There was a good friend of my family that got AIDS from her husband because he was fucking every prostitute in Miami without protection. Mrs. Lopez was a lovely woman and mother than didn't deserve the slow death that her asshole husband inflicted on her.

    That's horrible.

    Cheaters could atleast use protection.
    Last edited by MissAnne; March 20th, 2013 at 12:37 PM.
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  20. #20
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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by jensu846 View Post
    my married buddy plays with me from time to time. He just liked to play with guys on occasion and didnt want anyone to know. I certainly didnt care. Nobody found out about it, so nobody got hurt. no big deal.

    It's still a betrayal.. he likes to mess around with guys he shouldn't have gotten MARRIED.. the problem isn't people finding out it's that the entire relationship is built on a web of lies that grew bigger and bigger the more he dropped his pants for you. You didn't care, well you should have. cheating is not okay and especially if the person is committing adultery. You bound yourself to that other person the day you put a ring on your finger so it is a serious issue and you should care.

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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by EuroSoccer View Post
    OP as you can see you are not the only one........... I bet you feel better now
    I do O:3 tbh this thread was mainly my sneaky way of finding out if I can fight for the person being cheated on or not.. even if it's not any of my business it's still wrong.. it's bad and people should feel bad. lol I mean why the hell are we fighting for gay marriage if the entire concept of marriage means so little to people..
    Last edited by kindabikindagay; March 20th, 2013 at 01:10 PM.

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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by Str8Top14701 View Post
    That must be pretty rare air up there on your high horses that you are so quick to judge others without much knowledge of a situation, wiser and perfect people that you must be.

    Didn't you mamas teach you that while you have one finger pointed at someone you have three pointed back at yourselves?
    um what circumstances make it okay? "oh nobody would accept me for being gay" boo fucking hoo that doesn't give you the right to do that to the person you're cheating on.. make it look like you're single if that's the issue.. also.. side note.. idk about other people but when I point my finger at someone, the other three curl upward to my palm.. I find it oddly uncomfortable to point them back at myself.. so that's me being childish '3'

  23. #23
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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    I watched a documentary on polyamory...involving 2 straight married couples living in the same house. They would have sex as a group and with each other's partner privately as well. One night, husband A was horny. He slipped out of the bedroom while his wife (wife A) was sleeping. He walks into the other couple's bedroom and has a threesome with the other couple. Everyone was happy...until the next day.

    Wife A finds out what happened. Then all hell break loose. Wife A is emotionally distraught and accuses her husband of cheating because he didn't have her permission in advance (for that one time) to have sex with the other couple (which they all had sex with together and separately - switching partners - often). She accuses the other couple of helping her husband to cheat. Couple B explain they didn't know husband A didn't have his wife's permission to have sex for that one encounter. That's why they welcomed him to join them in bed. Couple B also accuse husband A of cheating. But they are quick to forgive him.

    It was an interesting insight into this particular Polyamory.
    Last edited by HunterM; March 20th, 2013 at 01:14 PM.

  24. #24
    Sex God TheLyingGame's Avatar
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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Nope. Cheaters are disgusting.
    Ever wonder what’s going on when your back is turned? –A

  25. #25

    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by kindabikindagay View Post
    I do O:3 tbh this thread was mainly my sneaky way of finding out if I can fight for the person being cheated on or not.. even if it's not any of my business it's still wrong.. it's bad and people should feel bad. lol I mean why the hell are we fighting for gay marriage if the entire concept of marriage means so little to people..
    ...and why are you defining marriage for anyone but yourself or qualifying anyone else's relationship except your own? It is no better then the Baptist Ladies Club deciding who and what kind of marriages are "worthy". That behavoir is the same behavoir practiced by the people who have oppressed us. Who are you to tell someone else how they "should" feel?

    In the spirit of your original question....I am wondering if anyone else gets that besides me?

  26. #26
    Je suis Charlie blackbeltninja's Avatar
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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by MissAnne View Post
    Ive said this before, I only see this in the Straight and Bi section and its always the same couple of people that are commenting and making these threads. Ive seen cheaters get blasted over and over again in every other section.

    Can you link us to some of these threads ?
    Er... some of us have the decency to blast cheaters over in Straight/Bisexual too, you know. Dark place that it is, and all.

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  27. #27
    Respira MissAnne's Avatar
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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by blackbeltninja View Post
    Er... some of us have the decency to blast cheaters over in Straight/Bisexual too, you know. Dark place that it is, and all.

    -d-


    Er...I said that.

    Quote Originally Posted by MissAnne View Post
    A lot of people seemed to enjoy his stories. There was a lot of "tell me more, tell me more" over there, but Id say that most people were kind of disgusted with him.
    " For all there is to feel, let it be felt"
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  28. #28
    Je suis Charlie blackbeltninja's Avatar
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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Ah, so you did.

    My bad.


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  29. #29
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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by eastofeden View Post
    ...and why are you defining marriage for anyone but yourself or qualifying anyone else's relationship except your own? It is no better then the Baptist Ladies Club deciding who and what kind of marriages are "worthy". That behavoir is the same behavior practiced by the people who have oppressed us. Who are you to tell someone else how they "should" feel?

    In the spirit of your original question....I am wondering if anyone else gets that besides me?

    I'm not judging if a marriage is worthy or not. I'm fine with open marriages where one tells the other they're gonna go hook up and the other is fine with it. That's a person's own private relationship with their partner and I'm not one to say anything.. But a marriage based on 'I fucked several guys discretely so nobody will know and nobody gets hurt' kind of policy is a ridiculous one.. the entire concept of marriage is built on trust.. who the hell are YOU to encourage deceit and betrayal.. first of all do cheaters have no conscience? what do they think exactly? 'fuck.. my wife is probably sitting at home expecting me to come back right about now.. my loving, faithful wife.. eh fuck it, I'm gonna go score some ass' I don't get it.. if you're unsatisfied with your partner you owe them at least to let them know you want out. if you don't want to leave your partner and you want the best of both worlds find yourself somebody that shares your interests. tell your partner or do something that doesn't involve the worst kind of betrayal out there..


    edit: I'm saying if marriage means so little to people then why bother fighting for it? if it's so easy to just go out and get laid whenever you fucking feel like it, what's the point of committing yourself to a single person if you're clearly not willing to devote yourself to them as well?
    Last edited by kindabikindagay; March 20th, 2013 at 02:14 PM.

  30. #30

    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by kindabikindagay View Post
    ...I'm saying if marriage means so little to people then why bother fighting for it? ...


    The zealots are fighting for it as an theoretical exercise.

    The most people I've seen get married under the new laws are older men with toy-boys or who want to import someone from overseas.
    .

  31. #31

    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by kindabikindagay View Post
    I'm not judging if a marriage is worthy or not. I'm fine with open marriages where one tells the other they're gonna go hook up and the other is fine with it. That's a person's own private relationship with their partner and I'm not one to say anything.. But a marriage based on 'I fucked several guys discretely so nobody will know and nobody gets hurt' kind of policy is a ridiculous one.. the entire concept of marriage is built on trust.. who the hell are YOU to encourage deceit and betrayal.. first of all do cheaters have no conscience? what do they think exactly? 'fuck.. my wife is probably sitting at home expecting me to come back right about now.. my loving, faithful wife.. eh fuck it, I'm gonna go score some ass' I don't get it.. if you're unsatisfied with your partner you owe them at least to let them know you want out. if you don't want to leave your partner and you want the best of both worlds find yourself somebody that shares your interests. tell your partner or do something that doesn't involve the worst kind of betrayal out there..


    edit: I'm saying if marriage means so little to people then why bother fighting for it? if it's so easy to just go out and get laid whenever you fucking feel like it, what's the point of committing yourself to a single person if you're clearly not willing to devote yourself to them as well?
    Let me see....

    My lover who I have now "cheated" (I hate the word because he never promised me fidelity...I wouldn't let him) on me the first couple of years and came to tell me about it...and because I am not a judgemental asshole with a victim mentality I listened to him and not too long afterward I found out he had been molested by his father since he was in the third grade and he repressed it because it was too much for him to take and his acting out was part of a lifelong attempt to hide from his experiences.

    Of course...you would have to have empathy for other people rather than judging them (they have no conscience?)...I gave him love and support and made sure he got counseling which helped him come to terms with what happened eventually and he put it behind him.

    That is one reason people "cheat"....a common one actually...there are so many others.....a little bit of empathy goes a long way.

  32. #32

    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by pat grimshaw View Post


    The zealots are fighting for it as an theoretical exercise.
    .....and some people believe in the principle of equality under the law and fight for that whether they believe in the institution of marriage or not...

    ...as opposed to the people who stand for nothing in particular and fall for anything.

  33. #33

    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by eastofeden View Post
    ..... fight for that whether they believe in …
    The zealots have been doing that in my country. They have divided and weakened the major political parties. And the governments— federal and state —have refused it because they are more more important economic issues to fix.
    .

  34. #34
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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by loveguys72 View Post
    Because cheaters never cheat just once.
    I would like to think this is not true. I doubt anyone accidentally falls into infidelity. They have greased the slide before hand, by placing themselves in situations they know they shouldn't, such being around those they know they can't trust themselves with.
    I do suspect that it is easier to cheat once you have done it, especially if you have not dealt with it honestly.
    Everyone wants to be heard. No one wants to listen.

  35. #35
    Oh, cum now! peeonme's Avatar
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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    At the risk of being tarred and feathered, hated and despised I will try to shed some light from the perspective of a closeted gay man.
    I am 60 yrs. old, married when I was 21 back in '73. In my area in those days a man was in trouble if it was known that he was gay, I had been taught from my youth that gays were evil and God hated them, I remember laying in my bed at night at the age of 16 begging God to make me "normal", I finally convinced myself that He had, I found that I could have sex with a woman, I had done it with many males, but women did not even get me hard when I masturbated.
    When I found that I could get it up and even "make love" to a woman I honestly believed that God had changed me, I got married believing this.
    Not long into my marriage my wife lost interest in sex, I got it when I was lucky, so it was back to jacking off for most of my pleasure,
    along with this came fantasies of the guys that I had been with, I lied to myself and said it was just old memories, that's all.
    Before I knew it I was married for 10 yrs. had a son and my wife was disabled, there was no way I was leaving my son, my dad had died when I was 9, my son would have a father.
    To cut to the chase, it's been 20 yrs. since I have had sex with my wife, she has no interest, I don't cheat, not that the idea has never entered my mind, I just know that it would change the dynamics of our home life, so, am I a liar because I have never told her that I am gay? maybe, I guess, so, hate me, you won't be the first.
    In my opinion I have lived an honorable life, raised my son and been faithful unless some might wish to condemn jacking off to gay porn, but, I will say this, those who preach tolerance should practice it.

  36. #36

    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by eastofeden View Post
    because I am not a judgemental asshole with a victim mentality I listened to him

    Wait, what are you saying here ?

    People who break up with their unfaithful partners are judgemental assholes with a victim mentality ?

  37. #37

    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by Cafe69 View Post
    Wait, what are you saying here ?

    People who break up with their unfaithful partners are judgemental assholes with a victim mentality ?
    Speaking for myself...if the shoe doesn't fit you don't put it on.

  38. #38
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post
    ^I don't understand why that annoys people. If two people set mutual terms to their own relationship, why should that bother someone? It may not be for you, but they are open with each other and without deception, so what's the matter?
    I agree with this.
    Quote Originally Posted by BENDERBOY View Post
    Either commit to someone fully or have the balls to walk away.

    Those in "open" relationships piss me off as well.
    Doesn't bother me in the least. I have a monogamous relationship, and I'm fully supportive of people who have healthy, honest, non-monogamous relationships. There's a guy on here with a wife and a boyfriend; they all seem happy, they all know. Their relationship makes sense to me even if I want a different kind.

    The one I don't get is how people can fuck strangers, but would never accept an open relationship. If you can fuck strangers, fuck them with someone you love. Even then, I wish them well, but I can't say it makes sense to me.

  39. #39
    Shy-ster justanothershyguy's Avatar
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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by animalius View Post
    Actually, no. Both he and I have agreed to be completely honest with each other, and that includes how we feel. I ask, he says no. In other words, if I see someone I'm interested in, I would ask because I'm honest with him. He would say no because he's honest with me.

    We both think the way we do this is way more healthier than people that have secret desires and then cheat.

    Last time we went to a gay bar I asked his permission to dance with this young guy I spotted and if I could do things with him. He said yes and so I proceeded. Later I asked him if I could take that young guy home with us and he said no. So, we didn't take him home. Of course we had sex later that night.

    I don't hide anything from him. He doesn't hide anything from me (I hope). We tell each other exactly how we feel.
    Have you ever asked if it bothers him that you do this? Just because he says yes or no to direct questions and being honest doesn't mean he's giving you the full scouting report of his thoughts...
    Author of Lost in a Dream. If you want to make me smile, read it and tell me what you think.

  40. #40
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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    I think cheating is deplorable. I think cheaters don't appreciate what they have. If you have a partner who genuinely cares about you, that should not be taken for granted. If I was in a relationship with someone who really cared about me, and loved me, I'd be sure to treat them right, and be true to them.

    I've never been in a relationship, or had anyone who cared about me. I know what it's like to be lonely, and not have anyone to share life with. That some people can take love for granted, and treat those who love them with such disrespect, just makes no sense to me at all. Cheaters who end up alone, and lonely deserved what they got. I didn't mistreat anybody, or do anything to deserve it, but I still ended up alone, and lonely. That's why I have no use for those who cheat, and treat partners and lovers with such disrespect...

  41. #41
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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by animalius View Post
    Dude, if your orientation is curious, then I'm guessing you're young. No need to hurry falling in love.
    I'll be 52 in 3 months...

  42. #42

    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by bankside View Post
    I agree with this.

    Doesn't bother me in the least. I have a monogamous relationship, and I'm fully supportive of people who have healthy, honest, non-monogamous relationships. There's a guy on here with a wife and a boyfriend; they all seem happy, they all know. Their relationship makes sense to me even if I want a different kind.

    The one I don't get is how people can fuck strangers, but would never accept an open relationship. If you can fuck strangers, fuck them with someone you love. Even then, I wish them well, but I can't say it makes sense to me.

    This is interesting news.

    I didn't know the wife and boyfriend had JUB accounts.

    What names do they go by, and which JUB forums do they frequent most?

    Or, perhaps you know them personally, or have talked to them elsewhere?

  43. #43

    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by BENDERBOY View Post
    Either commit to someone fully or have the balls to walk away.

    Those in "open" relationships piss me off as well.
    Not long ago, there was a couple JUBbers who claimed (one continuously demanded) to be in a happy 'open relationship', and used to be quite visible on the forum.

    One, the older, was a vulgar, overbearing, loudmouth who probably had a stack of JUB infractions, and might even have been permanently banned because of his awful behavior.

    The other, a well-mannered and somewhat delicate young man was seeing a therapist twice a week . . . . .

    They didn't seem like a good mix, or a happy couple, to me.

  44. #44

    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by Coward92 View Post
    Damn...
    I'm sorry that you were cheated on.
    I must however ask:

    Were you not hurt? I would be hurt. Upset. I would want to be angry.
    I would want to strike back too. Not by cheating but physical action more likely. Punching him or something.
    And then I would be ashamed of it.

    You must be really a strong person if you could put your own pain aside to help your love fix his problem, but I'm not sure I could do it.
    Ho were you able to do so?
    Was it the the love that you felt towards him or was it your own personality that helped you through this?


    Well...I felt very secure in the knowledge that he loved me when he told me and I was actually honored that he respected me enough to tell me about it. I know what a difficult thing that was for him to do.

    I was a little bit hurt I guess but once I understood where he was coming from I only felt compassion for him and wanted to help him overcome his circumstances and heal himself. The thing is...I loved him unconditionally...then and now... and when that happens it can pretty much give you the strength of character to face anything. Love is very powerful force.

    Just so you know...I didn't magically turn out that way. I learned along the way. The best thing I had going for me was that I paid attention and grew from my experiences and I listened to people who I knew were alot wiser than I was.

    I remember one boyfriend I had when I was 21...only for maybe 3 weeks...but I was "in love"...and I found out he went to this party and ended up with this guy who had also been chasing me...and my whole stomach and chest were on fire and it hurt so bad I could barely stand it...and I cried non stop for maybe three days...I think it took a week for my chest to stop hurting and let it all sink in. When I was ready I began to process it...what works best for me is to put myself in the other person's shoes. As soon as I did that..I told myself he just wasn't that into me...I try to be brutally honest with myself when I can...and that hurt as well...until it didn't. The realization that I wasn't into alot of people who liked me as well really helped me get outside of myself and my pain and put it in perspective...and it helped me grow.

  45. #45
    JUB Addict SaskGuy's Avatar
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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    There's two sides to every story.
    The fact that they married, or are in a relationship with a woman shows what kind of society they live in. They were pressured into being with a woman, but they still have needs that must be met. At least, that's the case with some gay guys who are married to women.
    They're incredibly unhappy, and their lives are a complete mess. Things get even worse from there when there's children involved. All they've wanted since puberty is company with another guy, and they can't even have that because of all the rampant homophobia.

    I'm sorry if this offended anyone, but I just don't think it's right to judge someone, especially if you don't know the whole story.

  46. #46

    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by eastofeden View Post
    Speaking for myself...if the shoe doesn't fit you don't put it on.
    Ive been cheated on pretty fucking bad and I would call myself being strong when I kicked his ass to the curb. Every cheater does not deserve forgiveness. Im sorry about you partner's abuse and I guess you felt like he was being attacked here. You chose to forgive him & that is fine. You condemn being judgemental but that is exactly what you are doing. Let people feel what they want. Everyone is not going to choose the road that you went down.

  47. #47
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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by BENDERBOY View Post
    So you aren't committed to this current partner either.
    Another mockery of a relationship.
    Agreed. I think you call what he has as a relationship-lite.
    Everyone wants to be heard. No one wants to listen.

  48. #48

    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by animalius View Post
    We did have the most incredible sex last night. Somehow, he was more into it than usual, giving me the most intense orgasm in a while. And I mean it was really really intense. That was right after I asked him again, too LOL.
    Maybe he is trying hard to please you because he is tired of you constantly asking to do other guys.

  49. #49
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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by eastofeden View Post
    That is one reason people "cheat"....a common one actually...there are so many others.....a little bit of empathy goes a long way.

    That is far from a common reason.. most cheaters are selfish pricks.. yes I get the people who have issues committing because of their past and I am not exactly saying YOU CHEAT, YOU ARE FOREVER A CRAP PERSON. I know people sometimes have gone through extreme issues in the past, that doesn't excuse it, but it explains it. and fine I get your point about every story having two sides. Thank you for your input and sorry if I sounded like I was attacking you x.X

  50. #50
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: am I seriously the only one? -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by animalius View Post
    Not to accuse anyone, but you know the ex I had that cheated on me multiple times and caught std's twice and then tried to set up this elaborate plan to blame me for the std the second time he caught it? You sound exactly like him.

    When we dated, he went on and on about how open relationships suck and monogamy was so great. At the time, I thought he kept telling me this because of my past. He knew all the guys I slept with.

    The point is if you are secure enough about your monogamous tendencies, then there's no need to be outraged at those who don't agree with you.

    Another thing is why do people like you think you have monopoly over the word "committed"? Commitment comes in many forms and colors.

    If you choose to be committed by never looking at another man, then god bless you go for it. If you choose to be committed by hiding your lusts for other guys from your partner, again may the lord look upon you with blessings and riches.

    I choose to be committed to my boyfriend by being honest with him and giving him the ultimate say in what I'm going to do. Took him some time to get used to it, but once he realized that he has that much power over me he's been fine with it ever since.

    I ask. He says no. I don't do it.

    I see an attractive guy. I ask him if I could fool around with that guy. =If(says yes, go for it, leave it at that) .... for those who knows excel.

    Relationships come in all forms and sizes. The only constant is if you want to make the journey enjoyable or if you want to make it a miserable trip.

    no, he's right.

    if you know that you might have a problem staying committed in a relationship, why get yourself involved in one? you asking if it's okay to sleep with whoever with your boyfriend's permission only says that you don't take the relationship seriously. you even said it yourself.

    one thing that i noticed from your whole bullshit statement is that NOT ONCE have you talked about your partner and if they could do the same thing that you're doing where you would allow them to fuck whoever with your permission. apparently, judging from what you said in this thread, they can't do the same thing that you're doing because it would be disrespectful and cheating yet you think you're not doing the same thing because you asked them if you could do it.

    good luck to you though. no wonder why you end up in the shit that you do though and then front like you're innocent as if you don't set yourself up for it.
    Last edited by refujiunderground; March 21st, 2013 at 12:19 PM.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

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