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Thread: need advice.

  1. #1
    Slut rr72368's Avatar
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    need advice.

    so, i met this guy on scruff a few months ago and after a bunch of exchanges, of the non sexual kind, we went on a date back in december. seemingly, we hit it off really well. he had to go back to school and i've been trying ever since to keep him around. he's about 600 miles away and after all of these months, i feel as if i cannot live without him.

    we keep in touch now via text, email and fb. for valentine's day, i sent some baked goods off to him and he was extremely grateful. called me sweet and a gentleman. it made me really happy.

    a few days ago, i got a email telling me how his break was and that it's gonna get very busy, so he won't be able to txt nor email as much. i told him (and i'm too fucking honest) that ever since our date, i'm trying everything to keep him in my life. he's so cool, y'all.

    but his re-appearance on scruff has me feeling friend-zoned. i'm afraid of saying the wrong things. is there something i did? is there any blame at all? why am i depressed about it? i really want this to work.

    if you can map this out and help, i appreciate it. after years of dating and being in long lasting relationships, this guy has made feel like a love starved cobra. my cool is blown.

  2. #2
    I'm now a grandfather! JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
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    Re: need advice.

    I'd say that you fell hard for a guy who wasn't interested or unable in developing a relationship. Sometimes the best solution is to let go. The distance is great and you've read too much into something that was meant to be casual and temporary. Make this a find memory but keep looking.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

  3. #3
    CupidBoy
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    Re: need advice.

    Quote Originally Posted by Seasoned View Post
    I'd say that you fell hard for a guy who wasn't interested or unable in developing a relationship. Sometimes the best solution is to let go. The distance is great and you've read too much into something that was meant to be casual and temporary. Make this a find memory but keep looking.
    Yes, absolutely this.

    Some people aren't very good at communicating and don't care how they hurt others. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Keep your chin up and keep searching, you are worth the best life has to offer for you.

  4. #4

    Re: need advice.

    How many dates did you go on? It seems you fell really hard and really fast. Feelings that even if reciprocated initially you can't expect to be shared over such a long distance with very little investment beforehand.
    My advice would be to let this one go and to be careful in the future.

    You say months and that includes the time he has spent away. That's probably too soon to feel you can't live without someone. Just my two cents.

  5. #5
    nerd of prey hylas's Avatar
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    Re: need advice.

    no disrespect, but if somebody told me (with words or through his actions) that "he feels as if he cannot live without me" and "hes trying everything to keep me in his life" after one date, id run and not look back. id take it as a sign of poor judgement at best, mental instability at worst.
    Last edited by hylas; March 24th, 2013 at 05:44 PM.

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